{One-shot} Your Love Is Nothing but Bull{Johnny Knoxville}
Today was the big stunt. The beginning, and everyone was scared, everyone except for him. But it was nothing new he was never scared, especially when it came to stuff like this, and I couldn't care less, on the outside. On the inside though, it was a whole different story: my stomach was in knots, my heart racing, and he will never know.
"Is everybody ready?" Spike questioned making me wonder why I was here. These animals aren't poisonous or even reptiles, and if something were to happen there would be nothing I could do. I'm trained with snakes and alligators, but definitely not bulls.
"No," Bam replied, "Knoxville's still in wardrobe." Of course he was, Knoxville is always in wardrobe or makeup or something like that and there was never any reason for it just him making sure he was the best looking one there.
"Manny," I whined, "Why do I have to be here, it's supposed to be my day off?"
"So you can study the behavioral patterns of the bulls." He replied.
"Fine they're angry and they smell bad, what else is there to know?" I hate bulls he knows it, I know it, and everyone here knows it.
"You have to conquer your fears sometime Lee."
"I'm not scared!" I said defensively, but the truth was I was horrified.
This fear was new too; it happened a couple of months ago during the 'Toro Totter'. Well long story short I wore red, bull got out, chased me, and ended up leaving me scarred mentally and physically.
"Whatever you say." He said walking off towards one of the pins.
"I am not!" I screamed after him.
"You're not what?" asked Knoxville, who suddenly appeared by my side.
"Nothing Knoxville," I said walking away.
"Is it that thing that you have for me?"
I stopped walking and slowly turned around, "Now what on Earth would make you think I have a thing for you, I mean I can see Bam possibly, but the one and only 'Johnny Knoxville'? Nuh-uh not in a million years." I said with a smirk.
"The way you stare at me rather than the other guys when we're filming, how you always seem to get stuck in the same van as me, trust me babe it's pretty obvious," he said as the smirk disappeared from my face and magically reappeared on his.
"I do not like you!" I yelled as he too walked over to the bull pins.
*Little While Later*
"Everyone take your positions," Spike called to the group of terrified looking men, except for Knoxville, he actually looked a little amused by the fact that if he accidentally fell or tripped it might be the last thing he will ever do.
As they got ready I looked over in Knoxville's general direction and we made eye contact and it looked as if he winked at me, probably just jacking around.
"On the count of three," Spike continued, "One, two, three," and they opened the gates and the bulls came stampeding out.
After they got all of the guys doing their own things (jumping into cars, trashcans, pools, etc.) it was time for Knoxville and Bam to run through the living room when Johnny would say his little line and then we could go home and it would all be over, for today.
"Okay, Bam, you jump out of that window and Johnny, you know." Jeff instructed.
"Lee come on," Chris said pulling me outside by my arm, "we're gonna watch as Knoxville gets trampled by the bull."
"Just like McDonalds, I'm lovin' it," I said covering up my fear.
"Okay and… GO!" shouted Jeff.
And the bulls were released and Bam and Johnny ran; Bam jumped out of the window and onto a blue mattress looking thing.
"Hi I'm Johnny, welcome to Jackass," I heard Knoxville's muffled voice say. Then there was a loud crash and all the bulls came running out of the window on top of Johnny.
"Cut and perfect." Jeff yelled.
The bulls crashed out of the window stomping on Johnny's head. Everyone ran over to make sure he was okay.
"Someone get the medics!" Jeff screamed forcefully to the swarm of people closing in around Johnny's lifeless body.
I ran over to him with tears streaming my down my face. "Don't die." I whispered while holding his shaking hand. Suddenly his eyes opened.
"The light." He croaked.
"No! Don't go towards the light stay as far away from the light as possible!"
"So cold."
"No you're not! Shut up! You can't be cold, damnit, I love you too much!" I screamed at him.
"I-I," he stuttered and then just stopped.
"No!" I demanded, "You can't die, I love you! I love you." I repeated as tears began falling down my face.
Then his eyes slowly opened.
"You- you mean it?" he slowly questioned.
"Yes I mean it, with all my heart," I wept.
"Ok good, so I'll pick you up at seven?" he said in his normal Jackassy way.
"What?" I questioned in total shock.
"Well you love me and I think you're pretty cool yourself, so maybe we should hook-up sometime, I'm thinking about seven, eight."
"Oh my God you are such a fucking asshole!" I yelled throwing down his arm.
"Okay I can do six too."
I didn't know what to say: the guy I love just lied to me, tricked me, and now he expects me to go out with him, so I just stomped off.
"Hey wait up!" I heard Knoxville call after me.
"Fuck off Knoxville."
"No," he grabbed my arm and turned me around so we were face-to-face, "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong? What's wrong! You fucking bastard, how can you ask that? You just tricked me into thinking you were dead! Now let me go." I tried getting out of his grip but he was too strong.
"Okay," he said in the saddest voice I have ever heard and it made me want to cry.
I walked over to the nearest truck and sat down in the bed next to Manny.
"What's wrong, you seem mad?"
"Knoxville."
"What did he do this time?"
"What does he always do?"
"You're gonna have to give me more than that."
"He's being his normal cocky self."
"He just does it because he likes you." He gave me a playful push.
"Yeah right, he likes no one but himself and his penis."
*Cough**Cough* I heard behind me, I turned around to see the famously infamous Johnny Knoxville.
"I should be going." Manny said as he walked away.
"Don't leave me!" I begged but he was already too far away to hear me.
"Can I sit?" Knoxville asked.
"It's a free country."
"I'm sorry; what I did was kinda mean, but-"
"Kinda? You lying to me, making me think you were seriously hurt was kinda mean? God you are such a dick!"
"Listen!"
"Why should I?"
"Because I love you too!" he screamed.
"Ha ha funny."
"I'm serious!"
"Whatever."
"Why don't you believe me?"
"Because you're you; Jackass Extraordinaire."
"You're acting like Madison," I stuck my tongue out at him, "Stop being so immature!" he demanded.
"You stop being so immature." I imitated him.
"Ugh!" And he stormed off and Manny came back to sit by me.
"You know he likes you."
"If he liked me he would act like it."
"He's a guy. Us men don't like to show our emotions."
"No, he's just an idiot."
"It seems like you like him too."
"You're not funny."
"Then what was that thing after he got hit by the bull?"
"It was absolutely nothing."
"Fine, fine, sorry I asked."
"Manny get your old ass over here!" Steve-O called from the bull pen.
"Well it looks like I should go."
"Fine just leave me here all alone."
"You know you can come with me?"
"Yay!"
Once we got over to the bull pen there was, for some strange reason, a horse, and Knoxville who was doing something, but I really wasn't sure what exactly.
"Hey Chrissy poo, what's up?"
He replied by looking up at the clear blue sky.
"Hardy har har har."
"I know right." He said sarcastically.
"So what's happening over here?"
"Knoxville's jacking off a horse."
"Sounds awesome."
"I'm so jealous, but he doesn't seem too excited about it."
"Knoxville not excited about seeing a hard horses cock?"
"Yeah I know, I'm just as surprised as you are."
Then I looked at Knoxville and I could tell that Chris was right. It was as if he had a dark cloud hanging over him, maybe he did like me more then I suspected..
"Knoxville," I yelled and he looked up, "having fun?"
"More than you could ever imagine," he said. And the cloud magically disappeared, and he smiled, well it was more like a smirk, but let's just call it a smile for now.
"Mind if I join you?" He gave me a questioning look. "I've never rubbed a dick that size before."
"It would be my pleasure to rub dick with you Ms. West."
"Hooray for me!" I said enthusiastically. I walked over next to him. "So what am I supposed to do?"
"Well, first you need to cradle the balls, and rub them ever so gently while discretely taking off your bra-"
"Shut up Johnny, seriously."
"Fine, you just have to take off your bra."
"Stop flirting and fuck the horse already!" Bam screamed.
"So demanding." I said while walking closer to the horse, so I was again face-to-face with Knoxville.
"Grab the tip," and I grabbed the tip, "now jerk it out," I smiled and began jerking it probably harder than I should have been. "Not so hard, you must be gentle with the giant horse penis."
"But it's so much funner rough." I complained.
"And you're supposed to be a good girl."
"I am a good girl."
"Well sweetheart, good girls don't like it rough."
"I guess I'm not so good after all."
"It's okay," he whispered in my ear, "I don't like good girls that much anyways."
And then as he pulled away, without thinking, I dropped the 'Horse Masturbator' and latched my hands behind his neck and pulled him into a kiss. I could feel everyone's gaze on us. As soon as the wolf whistles started I let go and quickly pulled away. I looked at him and he didn't move or talk or anything, he just stood there in total shock.
"Wow." I heard him whisper.
"Sorry."
"Don't be. I've been wanting to do that for a long time."
After what seemed like forever, Knoxville smiled and pulled me into a kiss this time. This kiss wasn't like the first one though: it was sweeter, softer, rougher, and best of all longer. The guys started whistling, but this time I didn't care. He pulled away from the kiss first and gently whispered in my ear, "I love you too."