"Britt.."
Some shuffling. Clear blue eyes search for their brown counterparts. Soft caresses etch into the darker skin.
"Hmm." Eyes are hooded, clear but heavy as an overcast sky. Russet browns flicker with trepidation over the muted pale features.
"I.." She starts and fumble to an abrupt stop. A heaviness settles into her chest, closing up, constricting. Rapid blinks will away the mist. She doesn't know why it feels so, she never was any good with them, feelings. They always overpowered her, darting out of her control for this one beautiful person. She doesn't know why, it's unexplainable. There's this layer of sadness surrounding her, not overwhelming, but there like mist on the windshield. Obscuring the road ahead a bit. There, but not permanent, just asking for a bit of time, a bit of patience when you just can't reach out and wipe away the uncertainty.
She shouldn't feel so, she thinks. She hates not knowing, not being in control. She hates that with such passion. She hated it when she didn't know why her heart flipped and warmth settled in her chest every time this blonde smiled at her throughout their years growing up together. She hated it when she began to identify the feeling she got when the blonde was around, she was confused and scared and she hated it. She this terror hours after their first kiss. Uncertainty. After they made love for the first time, how she had cried and ran away from her feelings, so deathly afraid of them. Those years of doubt and anguish and tears. The outing, the commercial.. They all seem so distant now, of a different era.
What she felt now was a different kind of sadness. The mist. Like the tired ache that settles in the bones at the end of long day. She couldn't explain it any more. It just was. She wasn't fond of the unexplainable. Her head hurt.
Strong pale arms were cradling her, resting gently around her waist and clutching loosely at her shirt. It was reassuring, more valuable than that roll of paper on her desk or the red robe on her floor.
At once she thought, why am I sad? She breathed deep. So familiar. So wonderfully, intimately known. Her fragrance. She smiled easily, eyes closed. Fingers run through her hair, soothing long strokes and feather-light caresses trace her cheek, jaw in a random pattern. Why am I sad? I have no reason to be.
Another deep breath. Heaviness ebbs away. Another. She opens her eyes.
She's there, just inches away, looking at her with a curious expression, lips curled in a small smile.
She watches the blue orbs slowly sliding around her face, taking in everything they can slowly and meticulously. She gives them a small smile, like she has finally figured something out. A million possibilities run through her mind. The mist is lifting. She can see clearer now.
She links her pinky through the pale one. They fit like always, easily like they were meant to be.
She looks at her girlfriend. Girlfriend. She would never tire of saying that, even in her mind.
"Britt." She starts again. She has got so many things to say. Her voice is full of hope and promises. She feels like a vessel on the brink of overflowing and spilling. She has so much to say but is unable to articulate.
" We'll be fine San. Everything's fine. It might be a little hazy right now, no solid plans. But I've got you now. We are." Brittany says firmly, stealing the thoughts right out of the Latina's mind.
Santana smiles. She only ever really smiles for Brittany. The smiles that reach her eyes and spills out her heart.
"I love you Britt." Santana whispers. They are spoken like the truest words she has ever spoken. And that they are.
"I love you too." Brittany says and smiles, pecking her lover's nose.
"I know." Santana breathes. "And because of that anything's possible." She echoes the words Brittany had said on the last day of junior year.
Brittany chuckles. She pulls Santana close. She surges forward and kisses her. Slow, languid, holding promises of the futures they dreamt together. They lie like that, cuddled in Santana's bed, whispering, dreaming, sharing loving kisses, forgetting all the sadness, until they fall asleep just as the new day begins to break.
It will be alright just because Santana loves Brittany and Brittany loves Santana and everything is all right in their world.