A/N: Just another one-shot until the multi-chapter Bones fic I'm currently working on progresses sufficiently to be posted. As you may have realized by now, I like to keep my pieces light-hearted and funny. In addition, I'd like to thank you all for the response on my previous one-shots. This one is also unbetaed, but carefully (I hope) proofread.
Disclaimer: The only Bones I own are the ones in my body.
The Appendix in the Anthropologist
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan took a sharp breath as she bent over to pick up a pen that had fallen on the floor of the forensics platform. Truth be told, she wasn't really feeling well. For the past few hours she had been feeling pain in mid-abdomen. Deciding to ignore it, she kept working on a set of remains from Limbo, which belonged to an unidentified World War One casualty. Soon, she had a positive identification and carefully placed the bones in a suitably labeled wooden box, saying the man's name out loud as she closed the lid.
"I'm done here," she told the Squintern of the week, who happened to be Wendell Bray.
"Roger that, Dr. B," he replied. "Ditto on my end. Would you like to check my findings?"
"I'll just be a minute, Mr. Bray." She signed the documents for the case she'd just closed and went to the nearby table to see what Wendell had done. "Very good work, Mr. Bray," she said approvingly.
"Dr. Brennan, Cam, Hodgins and Angela are going to the Founding Fathers for drinks. They texted me and asked if we care to join me."
Before Brennan had a chance to answer, a familiar voice echoed in the lab.
"Hey Bones, are you in the mood for a drink and then maybe dinner at La Coupole?" Booth asked.
"As appealing as it sounds, I have to decline," she replied.
"Nuh-uh, Bones, no. You are not going to spend the night in here. I'm putting my foot down."
"Booth, I'll just go home. I'm not feeling really well."
"What's wrong?"
"Probably a stomach beetle."
"Bug, Bones, stomach bug."
"Whatever," she said disinterestedly. Just then a wave of nausea hit her and she had to grip the edge of the table for support.
"Bones, what's wrong?" Booth was by her side in an instant.
"It's nothing," she said through clenched teeth, as the pain returned.
"Bullshit, Bones. Where does it hurt?"
"It appears to be centering on my right iliac fossa," she mumbled.
"You are in no condition to drive, Bones. C'mon, I'll take you home."
"I can call a cab."
"You're not serious, are you? I'm right here."
"Okay," she said. "Just let me get my things from the office."
She gathered her bag and coat and was about to rejoin Booth and Wendell by the forensics platform when she suddenly doubled over in pain and dropped to her knees.
"Bones!" Booth ran to her and tried to help her up, but she wouldn't move. In fact, he had to hold her to keep her from falling on the floor. "Bones, talk to me!"
"It… hurts," she gasped.
"I'm gonna lift you up on three. Ready? One… two… three!" Carrying her in his arms, he started towards her office.
"Hey, Wendell, someone forgot this report in my office and… What the hell is wrong with Dr. B?"
"I have no idea," Wendell replied.
In the meantime, Booth was laying Bones gently on her office couch. "Better now?"
"No," she moaned.
"Is the pain still centered on your right iliac fossil?"
"It's fossa," she said, opening one eye and glaring at him. He grinned. If she was correcting him, it wasn't too serious.
"Show me exactly where it is."
"It's right here." She took his hand in hers and guided it to the exact spot. "Booth, I think I'm going to be sick."
"Hang in there, Bones. WENDELL!"
"You called?" Wendell hollered back.
"Get a puke bag, a bucket or a trash can in here, now!"
"Coming!"
Hodgins had followed them to Brennan's office. Seeing her contorted in pain, he felt that he needed to do something. "I'll tell Cam, but I think we should call an ambulance."
"I'll do it, Hodgins. You just find Cam."
"Booth, I'm sure it's a minor gastrointestinal ailment," she said.
"Hmmm…"
"What?"
He never got the chance to answer, for Angela burst into the office with all the finesse of a sonic boom. Apparently Hodgins had broken the news to his wife while looking for Cam. "Sweetie, are you OK?"
"Ange, I'll be fine."
"She may be suffering from acute appendicitis, Angela," Booth said.
"Now you are a doctor too?" Bones asked snidely. She didn't intend to sound mean, but she was in a lot of pain right now. Booth understood and didn't say anything.
"Pain in the lower right abdomen, nausea… they are classic appendicitis symptoms. I know, because I've read about that stuff and more, just in case something like that happened to Parker."
"Is there anything you want me to do, Booth?"
"Yes, Angela, call 911."
"Dr. Brennan, how are you feeling?" Cam said, barging into the office. "Hodgins told me…"
"We have to get her to a hospital, Cam, unless of course you can perform an appendectomy here," Booth said.
"No. no, no, no, no and no. I don't do living people. I like it when my 'patients' don't complain."
"Fine, Cam." He then turned to Angela, who was back in her best friend's office. "Angela, didn't I just tell you to call an ambulance?"
"You did. I called."
"Then we wait. Better yet, take Hodgins and go to Bones' place. Get some clothes and stuff for her, OK?"
"You got it."
"Cam, you take my car and meet us at the hospital. I'll ride with Bones."
"Keys?"
"Catch!"
Just before the ambulance arrived Booth called Rebecca. He was scheduled to have Parker for the weekend and Bones' sudden illness certainly put a crimp in his plans, or at least delayed them. Rebecca was genuinely worried about Brennan and she asked Booth about her condition when she heard that they would be taking her to the hospital. Hearing it was only a simple case of appendicitis and not an injury suffered in the line of duty, she calmed down.
"Booth?"
"Yeah, Bones?"
"There is no need to cancel your weekend plans with Parker on account of me, you know. I'll be just fine."
"You heard about it?"
"I'm not deaf. Appendicitis does not affect one's hearing."
"But I can't leave you just like that, Bones."
"I'll be fine," she repeated. "Go have a good weekend with Parker."
"Are you sure?"
"I don't want to ruin your plans to have a good time with him. He is your son, after all."
Before Booth could answer, Cam entered Bones' office. "Dr. Brennan, I called your father. He said that he'll see you in the hospital."
"Thanks Cam." She then turned to Booth. "See? No need to worry so much about me. I'll have company. Besides, it's a routine operation."
"Hey, I wasn't going to cancel my plans with Parker. Delay them a bit, yes, but cancel, no. Not unless Hell freezes over first."
The ambulance soon arrived and Brennan was loaded inside. Booth naturally insisted on riding with her. They had committed each other's medical history to memory, especially with regards to allergies and stuff, just in case. Upon arrival at the hospital, the surgeon performed a quick evaluation and got her started on analgesics and antibiotics. The EMTs had already attached an intravenous drip to her arm to provide hydration. Since she'd skipped lunch, the doctor saw no reason not to prepare her for surgery immediately. He explained the details of the procedure and was curtly told to go ahead with it.
"How come you didn't diagnose it yourself, Bones?" Booth asked at one point.
"It has nothing to do with bones."
"True, but…"
"Almost every other time I gave a medical opinion it was somehow bone related," she interrupted. He could see that she was already a little loopy from the drugs she'd been given.
"At least you won't be pestering the good doctor for your X-Rays."
"Cam is the tissue expert," she shrugged, smiling at her colleague.
"That's right, Dr. Brennan," Cam said, giving Temperance's hand a squeeze.
-o-
"Well, Doctor?" Booth asked when the surgeon who operated on his partner exited the OR.
"As I said before the procedure, laparoscopic surgery is routine. There was no rupture of the inflamed appendix and no other complications."
"When can we see her?" Max asked.
"Soon. Right now, she'll be moved to the ICU for observation until she wakes up from the anesthesia."
"Thank you Doctor," Max said. "Booth, go have fun with Parker. I'll stay with Tempe."
"Max…"
"Don't worry, she'll be fine. You can always come see her tomorrow."
"Fine. Just call me if you need anything."
"Thanks Booth. Now, go."
"See you tomorrow, Max."
-o-
After leaving the hospital, Booth went to Rebecca's to pick up Parker and get started on their delayed weekend's plans. The boy had heard that Bones had been admitted to the hospital and anxiously asked about her.
"It's just appendicitis, Bub, nothing serious," his father reassured him.
"I know it's not serious. A friend of mine, Derek, had the same problem a couple of months ago and he's fine now. Can we go see Bones at the hospital, Dad? Please?"
"OK, we'll go tomorrow, but only for a little while. She needs to rest."
"I promise to behave."
Max was the first familiar face they saw the following day when they went to visit Bones. On the way to the hospital, Parker saw a stuffed toy dog at a store and talked his Dad into buying it for Bones. They also got her a bunch of daffodils and daisies. Max told them that there had been no complications and she'd been moved to a private room from the ICU after she woke up from the anesthesia. They made some more small talk before going to see her. When Booth went into the room, he saw his partner sleeping peacefully and appearing to be resting comfortably. He sat down in a chair next to the bed and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. As Parker went to look out the window, he placed a gentle loving kiss on her cheek.
Temperance slowly floated back to full wakefulness. The first thing she felt was a gentle warm pressure on her right hand. Her eyes fluttered open and saw two hands on hers, a large one and a small one. Her gaze floated up to the Booth Boys.
"Bones, you're awake!"
"What time is it, Booth?"
"Yep, she's fine."
She smiled. "I really am."
"It's 11:30 a.m."
"These are for you, Bones," Parker said, handing her the toy and prodding his father to give her the flowers.
"Thank you," she said, caressing the boy's cheek. "I love them."
"Ah, Dr. Brennan, nice to see you awake again," her doctor said, entering the room followed by a nurse.
"Yes, and I'm feeling very well."
"Are you sure, Bones?"
"Yes, why?"
"Because you look a little… stoned." He wished he had a camera to take a picture of her all glassy eyed and slightly disoriented.
"It's just a lingering aftereffect of the anesthesia and the analgesics, Booth."
"Well, it's different from the last time you were juiced," Booth said and she blushed.
"Is there something I should know about?" Dr. Ellis asked.
"No," Bones said, perhaps too quickly, causing Dr. Ellis to raise a questioning eyebrow.
"She got high on meth a few years ago, when a bag full of the stuff burst while investigating a crime scene," Booth explained.
"I see…"
"You should have seen her, doc. I mean, it was a sight to behold, the all rational scientist acting like…" He never finished the phrase. Desperate to make him stop, she grabbed the lapel of his jacket and savagely yanked him down to her. His lips formed a perfect 'O' in shock, just before they collided with hers. Seizing the opportunity, she stuck her tongue in his mouth and challenged his tongue to a duel. After the initial surprise, he responded. Parker turned away in mock disgust, privately happy at what he'd witnessed, but not before snapping a picture with his dad's cell phone. The doctor made a hasty escape, leaving the nurse, who had turned beet red with embarrassment, to check Brennan's vitals.
"Wow, Bones, what was that for?"
"I saw no other way to get you to shut up, Booth."
"And it's a method I highly recommend."
"Thank you."
"Seriously, I'm glad you're OK."
"Tell me the news from the lab."
"Forget the lab for now, will ya, Bones? We got no case to worry about. Cam will get the Squinterns to work on anything else that may come up."
"Help me sit up, Booth."
"Are you sure?"
"It is highly recommended that patients sit up on the edge of the bed and walk short distances for several times a day," the nurse said. "Dr. Ellis said that in all probability you'll be released later today, Dr. Brennan."
"Thank you," she said as Booth helped her sit up and Parker pushed the fluffy bunny slippers Angela had bought close to her feet. "These are not mine."
"They are, Bones. Angela picked them up for you."
"Oh. They are nice… comfortable too."
"Come on, up you go." He gently held her as she took a few steps towards the window, where they just stood looking at the snow covering the parking lot, his hand moving soothingly up and down her back. "Are you thirsty?"
"I am."
"Parks, get that bottle of water, please."
"Here you go, Dad."
"Thanks. Drink, Bones… better?"
"Yes, thank you."
They spent more time talking and generally having fun. By early afternoon, Dr. Ellis was sufficiently satisfied with her post-op progress to discharge her, advising her to take it easy for a few days. Temperance couldn't be more pleased. She'd been acting like a caged animal from the moment she woke up after surgery.
"Time to go, Bones."
"Finally," she said, sounding really relieved. "Just drop me off at my place and I'll see you at work on Monday."
"Dr. Brennan, I don't want to see your face around the lab until next Monday," Cam said. She'd dropped by to ask Temperance to sign a couple of documents.
"But we have a deadline for the identification of those Great War remains," Bones protested.
"I'll get the interns to work on them. It's nothing hard or too pressing and it'll be useful practice for them. Clark and I can do the supervising."
"Are you sure…?"
"Yes. Take a few days off. I want you back at 100%."
"Well, thank you, I guess."
"You are welcome."
"OK, Bones, come on, we'll have a fun-filled weekend. You, me and Parker."
"Booth, I'm sure you and Parker have better things to do."
"Nonsense, Bones, we were planning a movie marathon anyway and your TV is made to order for it. Besides, Angela has her baby and Cam has Paul and Michelle to keep them busy."
"My Dad could…"
"Tempe, I promised Russ to help Emma with a school project of hers, so I'll have to go out of town tomorrow. I can stay with you tonight, but I think the Booths will be better company."
"Fine," she huffed. Not that she minded having the two Booth Boys around. But Seeley's over protectiveness could be taxing sometimes. It was already manifesting itself, as he was currently talking to her doctor about dietary requirements and other stuff related to her recovery.
She was limited to consuming clear liquids only for the day after the operation and had to get up frequently, but it didn't detract the slightest from the pleasure of watching the original Indiana Jones trilogy with Booth, Parker and her father. For once she kept her nitpicking tendencies in check and suspended disbelief in order to just enjoy the movies and the company. She'd never admit it, but she was grateful not to be alone that night. Max left a little after midnight. Parker was already asleep in the guest bedroom, while she sat in the living room with Booth and worked on her newest novel. She'd had enough sleep in the hospital, so she wasn't tired at all.
Parker got up to go to the bathroom a few hours later and on impulse decided to check up on his Dad and the woman he'd come to love like a second mother. What he saw made him smile. Booth was sitting on the couch, fast asleep. One of his arms was around Bones, who was leaning against him, also asleep, the hand resting on her hip. Parker's smile did not falter as he tiptoed to them, grabbed the throw from the back of the couch and gently draped it over the couple. As he tucked it around his father's arm, Booth woke up. He grinned at his son and ruffled his hair. Then Parker bent down to Temperance and lightly kissed her cheek.
"We love you, Bones," he whispered in her ear.
"I love you too, Booth," she mumbled without waking up.
Very happy smiles threatened to split the faces of father and son in two.