She ran and stumbled, found quickly her balance again and continued her search at the Wounded Coast. He had to be here somewhere. He could not already been gone so far, could he?
Her heart pounded, and her blood raced in her body. What an idiot she had been! How could she have told him to go? How could she have blamed him of betraying her, when actually she was now betraying him? She told him again and again that he should trust and talk to her, but once her trust was put to the test, she failed.
Well, she knew that the situation had been… special: The chantry blown up, the knight commander and first enchanter arguing, and she in between. But when she had been standing behind Anders and heard what he said as excuse, the only feeling inside of her had been bitterness and frustration. So she had told him to go and fought this last battle without him at the side of the mages.
When they had left the Gallows and she had realized that he really wasn't there anymore – that she had chased him off, silly as she sometimes was – she had said good bye to her friends, embraced them and told them to find a save place, and ran without looking back. All that mattered had been to find him.
All too well she remembered the years he had tried to warn her and push her away, but she had not wanted to hear it…
"If your door is open tonight, I will come to you", he said to her, sadness and passion equally in his eyes. "If not, I know you took my warning at last…"
She could still feel his lips and his tongue tangling with hers. Her heart was racing, and she had to force herself not to go after him and pull him to her to feel him again. Maker, she had waited so long for him, teasing him and herself, and now she did not want to wait any longer.
"The door will be open, Anders!" she said. "No backing off again. I want you. To be honest, I want you right now!"
His brown eyes widened. "Hawke…"
Damn him! Damn clinic! Damn patients. Couldn't they all… heal… somehow… now?
A small, but deep smile came to his beautiful and tempting lips. "You are… impatient", he murmured.
"To finally have you inside of me?" she asked bluntly. "Yes! Definitely!"
His expression changed again, and her heart started hammering even more. There was something in his eyes… She had always been the one pushing and in charge, but she had suddenly the feeling that this night it could be the other way around. And she was looking forward to it…
She was anxious when she was waiting for him. Something she did not know from herself. Actually she was never nervous, but now she checked herself more than one time in the mirror. Blue eyes, curly black hair… not so bad. She had never really thought about how she looked like because she never had problems attracting men.
But with him it was different. Maker, she had waited so long for him… and now…
"Hawke?"
She spinned around. "You are here!"
The corner of Anders mouth lifted while he was walking into her room. "Justice does not approve of my obsession with you. He believes you are a distraction." His smile became deeper. "This is one of the few things on which he and I disagree."
"So he is kind of… an unwilling participant in our threesome?" she teased.
His face fell, and she immediately cursed herself about her own big mouth. When it came to Justice and his relationship, Anders was rarely in the mood to hear jokes.
"Please don't call it that", he asked her.
"I am sorry", she said. "You know me and my big mouth…"
His smile came back. "Yes. And that's… what I love most about you." Her breath caught in her throat. "When I was in the circle, love was only a game. It gave the Templars too much power if there was something you couldn't stand to lose." Now he looked to the side. "It would kill me to lose you."
She made a step towards him before she knew what she was doing. "You aren't going to lose me…"
He turned his look back to her, and the intensity of his gaze gave her the feeling to be somebody unbelievably precious to him. Only he was able to create this feeling in her, and although she never thought to be the romantic type of girl, she loved it.
"No mage I know has ever dared to fall in love", he murmured and raised his hand to her face. She got even closer, longing for his touch. "This is the rule I most cherish breaking…"
And then his soft, warm lips were on hers, and she stopped thinking.
Not that she was famous for thinking at all. More for acting impulsively and – sometimes – stupidly. But always passionately.
Like now…
With a moan she took his hands and pulled him with her to the bed. On her way she had to reluctantly break the kiss, looked into his warm brown eyes and lay down on the bed. He smiled and came over her.
She immediately claimed his lips again, and he did not hesitate to meet her tongue. On the contrary, he soon took over control, his hand in her hair, angling her head the way he wanted it, and kissed her deeply and passionately and wet.
Within seconds her whole body stood in flames and trembled. Maker, where had the damn mage learned to kiss like that? She never ever had experienced such a quick reaction on her side before!
Gasping she had to free her lips from his. "Holy shit, Anders…"
He raised an eyebrow and started opening the dress she was wearing at home. "What? The mighty Rae Hawke is finally speechless…?"
His breath stopped when he realized that she was wearing nothing below, and she smirked and pulled his face to hers again. "Who is speechless now, mage?"
With a moan he claimed her lips again, and she met him kiss by kiss while she was hastily trying to get him out of his clothes and cursed about all his buckles. At her lips she felt him smile and said eventually: "GET THEM OF, or I swear, I will cut them off….!"
He laughed, stood up and removed his clothes while she was doing the same with the rest of hers. She finished much earlier than he did, lay back again and followed his movements. He was…. beautiful. Soft brown eyes, pale skin, a body which was trained for a mage.
Actually very well trained.
She raised her arms and said huskily: "Come to me, Anders!"
He did, and then there were only deep, intimate kisses, bodies pressing together, murmurs and laughter and moans.
And she knew that she would never be able to love anyone else…
And yet she was here, searching for him, and he was nowhere to be seen. Maker, what when she was too late?
"Shit", she mumbled, "shit, shit, shit. You are such an idiot, Rae!"
How could she have done this to him? But brooding was not the solution for her problem right now – something she had told Fenris in the past more than one time – so she continued searching.
When she finally found him, there was no holding back. With a big smile she ran and wrapped her arms around him. "Stay! I am sorry!"
He had been freezing and was now slowly exhaling the breath he had been holding. "Not angry anymore?" he asked quietly.
"Pfff", was her only answer. "I am angry like hell, Anders. But I love you. And I told you that I will always be at your side. So here I am!"
He turned around, his brown eyes wide in disbelief. "So you don't want me to go away anymore?"
"Unless you want to go away, no", she answered with a genuine smile.
His hands closed around her neck. "Rae, I am… I don't know what to say…"
"That I recognized", she answered dryly, remembering all the evenings within the last weeks and months when he had prepared this action today without telling her anything.
His lips pressed together, and he leaned his forehead against hers. "Rae, we will be hunted. We will nowhere be safe. And Sebastian…"
"Oh, shut up, Anders", she whispered. "I know all of that. And I decided years ago that I don't care. Guess what? We have something to do. Speaking of Sebastian: We should go to Starkhaven and check if he is really willing to put his menace into action."
He lifted one eyebrow. "You want to go there?"
She shrugged and grinned. "Why not? We cannot allow him to do this, even if he is angry at the moment."
Anders brown, warm eyes ran over her face, than he sighed and said: "Maker, we are so lost, Hawke."
Her smile became wide, and she pulled him down for a passionate kiss, whispering at his lips: "At least we are lost together!"