If I Were a Rich Man

Having just started their shift, Chet got off the couch, waving a newspaper, and acting quite animated.

"Did you see it…did you see it?"

The others all looked at him curiously.

"See what, Chet? What are you even talking about?" Johnny asked his friend.

"This…" Chet replied, putting the paper on the table.

Seeing the first story on the page of the paper, Mike Stoker read the headline. "Father of Eight Shot…Mistaken for Rabbit."

Sighing in frustration, Chet shook his head. "No…no…no…THIS one."

Seeing where Chet's finger was pointing, Marco read the headline. "Fresno Firefighter Frolicking in Financial Freedom…"

Looking matter-of-factly at the curly haired firefighter, Hank nodded his head. "Good alliteration."

"Good alliteration? The guy won millions of dollars in the state lottery, Cap…and all you can say is good alliteration?" Chet replied in disbelief.

Shrugging his shoulders Hank smiled. "Okay, Chet…how about…good for the guy…I'm happy for him."

"Come on…is that all you can say?"

Offering his two cents, Roy chimed in. "Well…his taxes just went up."

"I think you guys are all missing the point. He won MILLIONS of dollars."

"Alright, Chet…what would YOU do if you won all that money?" Johnny asked.

"Finally…someone who gets the point. Okay…if I won all that money, I would go into business…I got a million ideas."

"A million dollars for each idea." Mike said with a smirk.

"Alright, Stoker…what would YOU do if you won all that money?"

"What would I do?" Mike repeated. "Well…for starters, I'd change my phone number."

"Would you quit the Department?"

Looking at Chet as though he was crazy, Mike shook his head. "Why would I quit? I worked too hard to get to this point in my career. No, I think if I won all that money, I would try to do some good with it. I would donate a lot to the Firemen's Relief Fund…help out my family with some bills…and probably buy some real estate in Montana."

Johnny looked at Mike in disbelief. "Montana? Why Montana, Mike?"

"Why not? It's beautiful country up there."

"Yeah, I know that…I'm from Montana, remember? I just had no idea that you've ever been there before."

"I have. Flathead Lake…gorgeous area. I used to take Spencer up there with me…we'd go romping all over the place. As a matter of fact, I'm thinking about going up there in a couple months. I think Buddy will really enjoy it, too. What would you guys all do with that kind of cash?"

Marco stood there smiling. "I'd open my own restaurant."

"How about you, Roy?" Marco asked.

"Well…with the kids getting older, I would definitely buy a bigger house. Probably a new car for Joanne, too…and…I'd send my mother-in-law on a trip…somewhere far far away. Johnny?"

"I would probably invest in some real estate, myself…maybe a ranch or something. Buy some horses and some new camping and fishing gear…and then I would throw a party…don't worry, guys…I'd invite all of you. We'd have steak and lobster…and probably some of that good champagne…"

"Dom Perignon?" Mike offered.

"Yeah…that's the stuff. We'd have a good time. How about you, Cap? Would you retire?"

"Retire? Retire and leave all you twits behind? No, I wouldn't retire, although Suzanne would probably like it if I did. I would probably give her my credit card to go shopping…as a thank you for being an understanding wife…I'd make sure my two kids were set as far as college and their future went…then I guess I would take a vacation…maybe go to Europe."

The guys continued to talk about some of their other pipe dreams, should one of them hit it big in the lottery. Taking a page out of Mike's book, they did all agree that they would donate a good chunk of change to the Firemen's Fund…and even to Rampart.

Laughing, Mike added. "Johnny and Roy could even finally start that floor cleaning business that they have always wanted to. And…someone could even buy themselves a hot dog stand."

Shaking his head, Hank smiled. "Well…I don't think we have to worry about any of this actually happening to us…the chances of winning are like one in a gazillion."

Chet started to frown a bit. "Gee, Cap…that's kind of a negative attitude, isn't it?"

"Kelly…" Hank groaned.

"Well maybe it's not all that farfetched, guys…it's like the lottery slogan says…'all you need is a dollar and a dream.'"

THE END