After all that we've been through, I know that I will always love you
From now until forever baby, I can't imagine anything better
After all that we've been through
I know we'll make it after the wait
The question is the truth
There is nothing we can't do
I'll see you along the way baby
The stillness is the move
Isn't life under the sun just a crazy, crazy, crazy dream?
Isn't life just a mirage of the world, before the world, before the world?
Why am I here and not over there?
Where did time begin,
Where does space end,
Where do you and I begin?
~Stillness is the Move, Dirty Projectors
Every song has a coda, a final movement. Whether it fades out of crashes away. Every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy the music?
(p u c k pov)
"Noah, don't you think that it's slightly ridiculous that John Travolta is a woman in this movie? I mean, I know he is a talented actor, but there was nothing very feminine about him." Rachel muses, her dark brown eyes quickly glancing up at you before she returns her attention to the movie.
You just hum in response, leaving the reply ambiguous enough that she can decide whether you were agreeing with her or not. You learned long ago that that was the easiest way to prevent arguments.
You're sitting on the couch in the Berry's living room, sliding your left hand through Rachel's silky hair. She's curled onto her side next to you, her head in your lap and your right hand resting on her hip. Her own hands are fisted underneath her chin, resting against your thigh. You can feel her breath through the denim of your jeans and every time you breathe, you inhale the scent of cherry blossoms from her hair.
And you have no fucking clue how you got here.
You aren't sure how you ended up on this couch, how you ended up twining your fingers through Rachel's hair and slowly becoming addicted to the smell of cherry blossoms. You aren't sure how she talked you into watching a movie with Zac Efron in it and you don't know where her fathers are.
What you do know?
You should not be here.
Lauren will probably castrate you if she ever finds out and you were just getting back to being best friends with Finn again. And this'll totally fuck that up, 'cause the dude's always going to think that Rachel is his.
Something else you know?
There's no chance in hell you're leaving.
Maybe it's not that surprising you're here.
It's not like you've ever hated Rachel Berry or anything. Sure, you teased her and threw slushies at her, but that wasn't because you despised her or whatever. The simple fact is that she was an easy target and you were a jackass. There was really nothing more to it.
So it wasn't that weird when you dated her for all of, like, five seconds. If she had let you touch her boobs, that relationship totally would have lasted longer than it did.
She wouldn't have been able to get enough of you.
And she definitely wouldn't have dumped your pathetic ass on those fucking bleachers.
But, the point is, she didn't let you and the relationship ended.
And some crazy pseudo friendship formed. It was the kind of friendship that involved silent understandings and hanging out at temple, nothing big. She made you learn shit like the word pseudo and you totally got her to admit Finn was a douche.
Not that you cared if she thought he was a douche.
It was just nice to know, all right?
So, you and Rachel hanging out, it's not that strange.
The strange part would probably be how fucking distracting you're finding her warm breath on your thigh is, how you can't help but notice that your hand fits just about perfectly in the dip between her ribs and her hips.
The entire time you've been here, the two of you have been getting steadily closer. You started out on opposite sides of the couch, then she was resting her head on your shoulder. And then, somehow, you ended up like this.
And she just moved her fingers out of their tiny little fists to curl around your upper thigh.
You're about to lose your shit.
And that isn't fucking okay when you're dating Lauren and she's pining or whatthefuckever after Finn.
The two of you are mostly silent for the remainder of the movie, Rachel making comments every once in a while and you speaking up once to make some comment about that hot cougar mom.
Rachel orders Chinese, she knows your favorite without having to ask and, yeah, that makes your stomach twist in a not entirely unpleasant way. You eat on the floor of her living room, her legs draped over yours as you stare hungrily at the chow mien she ordered.
She giggles when she notices your stare and feeds you some.
Her eyes darken when you wrap your lips around the end of her fork and fuck it but you're actually going to be the one to start a conversation about feelings and shit.
"Berry, not that this hasn't been fun, but what the fuck am I doing here?" you finally ask once you've finished eating and Rachel's put the leftovers in the fridge.
"It's not like I asked you to come, Noah," she responds, primly sitting on the edge of a chair on the other side of the room. You aren't sure what the fact that the two of you aren't in contact for the first time in hours has to do with anything, but it's making you slightly uncomfortable.
And seriously? She didn't ask you to come?
Fuck that noise.
"Excuse me? 'Cause, 'Hey, Noah, want to come over to my place tonight and watch movies?' sure sounds like you asking me over," you say the last three words in a mockingly high voice and she narrows her eyes at you.
When she crosses her arms over her chest and huffs, it takes everything you have to not smirk wickedly.
Because fuck this girl is hot when she's pissed.
"Are you mocking me?" she questions, her voice much higher than it was a few seconds ago. You just chuckle at her and lean back, comfortably lounging on the couch.
Her eyes dart to the exposed skin on your hip from where you shirt rode up when you slid down on the couch and when her gaze once again meets yours, the already dark brown is almost black.
And things just got so much more interesting.
The two of you sit there, in freaking silence, for the next two hours.
At one point, you almost speak. You open your mouth to ask where her dads are, seeing as how it's almost eight and neither one are home. But just as you're about to say something, you notice the smug smile beginning to curl her lips and you close your mouth, clenching your jaw.
You will not be the one to talk first.
About four minutes after the two-hour mark, and she breaks.
Honestly, you're kind of surprised that she managed to stay silent for as long as she did. You may not have any issue with the girl, and you may also think she's smokin' hot, but you honestly can't remember a time you've been around her and she hasn't been talking.
But, in counter to that, you aren't exactly known for your patience.
So you're pretty damn proud that she spoke before you.
"I didn't ask you to sleep with me just because I wanted to get back at Finn," she blurts, the words coming out in a continuous rush that takes you a few minutes to decipher.
When you finally comprehend what the fuck she just said, your brain pretty much stops working. At all. "The fuck, Berry?" is all you can manage to get out, shifting from your relaxed position so that you're sitting up on the couch.
"I didn't ask you to sleep with me just because of Finn," she repeats, her words slower this time.
"Yeah, I fuckin' got that part. I was more questioning why the hell you said it," you return, your voice growing progressively louder the calmer she looks.
"Well, I couldn't sleep last night and, as I never miss my eight hours, it was very distressing to my schedule. And, while I was lying awake, I started to think about all the reasons that I did ask you to sleep with me and, I have come to the realization, that none of those reasons have really changed," she says, her tone very matter of fact.
You almost swallow your tongue and start choking because Rachel Berry just said that she couldn't fall asleep because she couldn't stop thinking about you fucking her. You lock your eyes on hers while you try to catch your breath, all sorts of unspoken questions dancing around your mind.
"It's, mainly, that I trust you. I trust you to not make fun of me afterwards, at least not to mean it when you're making fun of me. I trust you to tell me if what I'm doing is wrong or unattractive. And, most of all, I trust you to make it good for me," she says without prompting and you can't stop yourself from thinking about how amazing it is that this girl knows you well enough that she can answer questions you haven't even asked.
And then you register the last sentence and start choking again.
It takes you all of three seconds to make your decision.
You know that you're dating Lauren and that this is a total douche move.
You're well aware of that fact, okay?
But it's Rachel and she's pretty much offering herself up to you on a silver platter.
You do not have the fucking self control to turn that offer down.
"I'm not asking for a relationship, Noah," Rachel starts speaking again, "it's just that this whole virgin thing, I want it to be done with. I wanted to wait when I was with Jesse; I wanted to wait for true love, for Finn. But Finn slept with Santana and if he's not going to wait, there's no reason for me to. It's just that losing my virginity is this pretty huge deal, you know? And I just want it out of the way, I just want it gone. I've been feeling this way since Christmas and I'm really, really tired of not doing anything about it."
You stand, still not responding, and grab her hand, pulling her up with you. Her body is about a millimeter away from yours and you can feel her heat, it's so fucking close, she's so fucking close, and you want her closer.
Now.
You yank her up against your body, pressing your lips to hers harshly. You can't find it within yourself to be gentle with her, you're honestly rather pissed off that she put you in this situation at all.
You're more pissed that you can't say no to her.
She kisses back without hesitation, the two of you slowly stumbling up the stairs while she tugs on your shirt and you bite her neck.
Her bedroom's different than the last time you were in there, but you can't figure out why before she's pushing you back on the bed, her lips once again attached to yours.
"Shit, Rachel," you pant out as she unzips your jeans, "are you sure you wanna do this? 'Cause, this shit, it's important to some people and fuck I'm not exactly a stand-up guy and Jesus," you hiss when she shoves your pants on to the floor, her lips running over your exposed collarbone. "It's only for a night, Rach," you finally manage to choke out.
She pulls back and a low whine escapes your throat before you can stop it. You curse quietly again as she looks at you.
You're sure this is the part where she says you're right, calls you an asshole or a bad singer or something, and kicks you out.
Instead, she presses a tender kiss against your lips.
"Noah," she breathes out, her eyes still locked on yours, "the fact that you care enough to ask proves that you're not all that awful of a guy. And yes I'm sure, all right? Even if it's only a moment in time, even if we're only a moment in time, I still want to enjoy it to its fullest."
Good enough for you.
You wake up before she does and spend an embarrassing amount of time tracing her figure with your eyes.
You aren't sure how this one night thing is gonna go down.
Honestly, you've never experienced anything like that and you have no fucking clue how you're going to be able to look at her now. Every time you glance at her, how are you not supposed to think about the way her hips fit against yours? How she smells like cherry blossoms but tastes like honey, the way she breathes your name like a fucking prayer when you're inside her?
You're afraid you won't be able to forget that shit.
So you slip away from her, trying to not allow your eyes to linger on her figure for any more time.
It's when you get up that you realize what's different about her room.
There's no trace of anyone anywhere. She used to have pictures of Finn, ticket stubs from things she did with some of the Gleeks, mementos of her time with Jesse. Now there's nothing. She's taken down all the pictures and you don't see anything that relates to anybody that she knows, not even her dads.
You press a sad kiss to her soft cheek and leave while her eyes are still fluttering open.
Three weeks later, you aren't surprised when Schue announces that Rachel Berry won't be coming back to Glee.
She won't be coming back to McKinley at all.
According to her fathers, or at least the note she left for them, she saw no point in staying to be around people that hated her. She was in New York City now, and the city was just big enough that they weren't ever going to find her.
Schue pulls you aside as the shocked group of Glee kids shuffle from the room, their eyes full of questions that no one will ever be able to answer. Did what they say really effect her that much? Did they really hurt her that bad? Is it their fault she's gone?
He hands you a note and says that it was left with the one her fathers got. You ignore the unspoken question of why you got a letter and not Finn or Mercedes or Kurt.
You open it on your way to the parking lot, Lauren waiting by your truck when you open the front doors.
You glance down at the note.
Every night will eventually end, Noah. Is that really an excuse not to enjoy it while it's happening?
And then, in smaller letters underneath; I really enjoyed that night.
She didn't sign her name, but there's a gold star sticker and a tiny heart drawn in red ink.
You fold up the note and tuck into your wallet behind the picture of you, Finn, and Rachel at the second round of Sectionals.
You try to ignore the way your mouth still tastes like honey and the way you flinch whenever you think you smell cherry blossoms.
It was just a moment.
They were just a moment.
Yayy my first Puckleberry. Someone requested it, but I honestly can't remember who. Sorry if anyone feels Rachel, or Puck, is OOC, but I really don't think they were. I watched the Pilot and then I watched Original Songs and their characters have changed so freaking much. I don't know if you guys will agree, but I can really see Rachel getting fed up with everything and going somewhere her talent would be appreciated. And I can see her not wanting to have any regrets when she leaves. In my mind, at least, leaving Puck without anything would be a regret.
But anyways.
I don't own Glee or Stillness is the move.
If enough people want it, I may make this a twoshot with another chapter in Rachel's POV. It's up to you guys.
As always, review pretty please? And thanks for reading.