Hey so this is my first, FINISHED, HeiShin fanfiction! yay! so, anyways, i hope you like! it was a little thing i came up with after reading a really good fanfic, but i promise i DID NOT steal the plot or whatever.

oh yeah.

DISCLOSURE TIME! so in case none of you who're reading this have figured out, i do NOT own Detective Conan, or its characters. if i did, i'd definitely would've killed off Ran, made Heiji and Kaito fall in love with Conan, and made him end up with both in a messed up, twisted relationship. yeah. i DEFINITELY don't own DC.

by the way, did any of you notice that this is my first time actually remembering the disclosure? i've remembered on, like, the fifth chapter of a different story, but i actualy remembered on this one first time! anyways, enjoy!

Hattori Heiji was standing outside the bedroom door, knocking over and over again, trying to convince the occupant to let him in. "Please," he said softly, his voice cracking. "Please don't hate me, Shinichi. Don't hate me for making ya live. I jus' wanted you ta stay with me. Don't blame me for wantin' that."

Silence met his words. Cold, empty silence that ripped into Heiji's soul like a hurricane out to destroy everything in its path. Finally, Heiji tried the door knob. It was locked. He felt his temper rising. He'd been locked out of his best friend's room for days, and this was going to change, now.

Taking a few steps back to have a running start, Heiji charged forward, his shoulder to the door, and it crashed open. Looking around the room wildly, he found his charge. There, Shinichi sat, huddled up in a corner of his messy room. Heiji remembered a time when they'd hung out in this room, and how he'd commented on how freakishly neat it'd been. Of course, Heiji thought with a slight blush on his dark face, that had been before we'd made out on his bed.

Seeing the once so confident detective hiding in a corner from him made him angry. Charging over to where his boyfriend was, he put a hand on his shoulder and roughly turned him to face him. The tears on his face made Heiji freeze. The last time he'd seen tears on the detective's face was probably when he'd taken the final antidote, making it official that he was no longer Edogawa Conan. And that they could officially be a couple.

"Don't cry, Shinichi. Yer breakin' my heart," he said, his voice breaking as he tried to put a hand on Shinichi's shoulder. Shinichi shrugged him off, burying his face farther into his folded arms. Heiji put his hand back on his shoulder, turning Shinichi around to face him. He clutched him in a hug, not letting the struggling detective out of his arms.

"Ya couldn' 'ave saved 'em, Shinichi. Ya 'ave no right to blame yerself!" he insisted, and felt the shuddering in Shinichi's body decrease slightly. He continued, hoping to reach into Shinichi and save him. "It wasn' yer fault. It was a car crash, not a mystery that ya could solve an' save 'em. Ye need ta accept that."

The shaking slowed down more, but not completely, as Shinichi, his voice muffled by Heiji's shirt, said, "But they were in a car because I was shot! They were driving that way to get to the hospital because of me!" he yelled, looking up at Heiji through tear-filled eyes. Heiji closed his eyes to the painful sight as he a thought ran through his head. He looks more like a child now that I ever saw him when he was Conan.

"Why? Why did they have to die?" Shinichi demanded, and his voice broke Heiji's heart. He knew that Shinichi wasn't taking their deaths well, (obviously) but he didn't know what to do. Shinichi's next words made him freeze.

"Why did you stop me from joining them?"

Heiji didn't breathe for a moment before slowly pushing the other boy away. Shinichi looked up, hurt, but Heiji ignored him. He turned his back to him, saying flatly, "Fine. It's obvious that ya don' care how I would take yer death, so why should I? It's yer choice, Kudo-kun. Die if it's what ya want." Heiji started for the broken door, and glanced back to see the shocked face of his now ex-boyfriend.

"I'll send the bill ta the prof. He'll probably be the one who inherits all yer stuff after yer dead. Wouldn't wan' yer unused room ta have a broken door." He turned away again and would've walked away if he hadn't seen a photo on the wall next to the doorway. It was of him and Shinichi, laughing at each other. He took it off the wall, knowing that Shinichi was following his every move.

"It seems yer not as alone as ya think, huh, Shinichi?" he said softly, and then dropped the picture on the floor with a crash, and knew that the glass had cracked. He felt his heart break with it, but he forced himself to not care. He was sick of Shinichi talking about suicide.

"Wait!" Shinichi called out brokenly as Heiji started leaving again. The dark-skinned detective halted, but didn't look back. Shinichi stumbled up, nursing the wound in his shoulder from the gun shot as he ran for Heiji. "I'm sorry, Heiji. I didn't mean it that way. I…I just feel so empty." He fell into Heiji's arms, exhausted. He had just been shot three days ago, and hadn't taken any pain killers all day.

Heiji softened, knowing he'd been unreasonable. After all, his boyfriend had just lost both his parents and Ran at the same time.

"It's okay, Shinichi," he murmured into his ear. "I'm sorry for being so cruel. But you can't think about suicide. It's yer policy, right? If I'd let you commit suicide, I'd be jus' as bad as all those murderers out there. As bad as the drunk who killed yer family." Shinichi struggled to stand, using Heiji as a cane, and looked straight into the green eyes of his boyfriend with his own broken blue ones.

"I know. I wasn't thinking. Please," he said, his voice weak. "Please, just don't leave me." Heiji wanted to point out that he hadn't been the one about to commit suicide, but simply nodded instead.

"Okay. I won' leave ya. I love ya too much ta ever let ya die. But I don' wan' no more of yer whinin' when I save ya, got it?" Heiji leaned down to press a kiss against Shinichi's lips, showing the stupid detective how scared he was for his life, and his counterpart responded with just as much ferocity. Finally, Heiji pulled back for his boyfriend's sake, and Shinichi let out a broken laugh, but finally nodded. Heiji sighed in relief as he carefully dragged the almost unconscious detective to his bed. He was about to leave when Shinichi caught his hand and tugged it.

"Sleep with me," Shinichi murmured and Heiji blushed, but nodded. He knew that Shinichi didn't have anything in mind but sleeping right now, but still. It wasn't every day your boyfriend told you to sleep with him. But then, it wasn't every day that he tried to commit suicide, either.

"Alright, Shinichi. But only if I get the right side of the bed. I'm a picky guy, and I can't sleep on the left side. Deal?" Shinichi grinned, almost looking normal, as he scooted carefully over to make room for him.

"Deal. Now shut up and lie down. I'm tired and I'm not going to sleep until you're down here with me." Heiji grinned, and lowered himself down carefully, so as not to rustle the injured boy too much.

They lied like that for hours in silence, their arms around each other in a loving embrace that comforted both teens immensely. Finally, Shinichi fell asleep, and Heiji got up to go and make something for him to eat.

He knew that it was going to take time for Shinichi to heal, or maybe he'd never heal, but Heiji would do every damned thing he could if it was possible. He'd help Shinichi if it was the last thing he did. Because he loved Shinichi more than anything, anyone, and nothing would stop him from protecting his detective.

just to clear things up, Ran, Yusaku, and Yukiko are all dead in this. They died in a drunk driving accident, on their way to the hospital to see Shinichi because he'd been shot in the shoulder in one of his chases. They were taking a back road when the drunkee crashed into them. and no, Yukiko was not driving, cuz if she had been, they probably wouldn't have died.

thanks for reading! please review and all that jazz! love you all!