Note: If you either haven't played Xenogears, or haven't gotten very far in it, don't read further. This fic has a kinda major plot point of the game in it...the whole idea was to give it a different perspective.
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Day 242
Well, this has certainly been a boring week. But my wife insists that I have to do this every single day. I'm starting to get sick of it. 242 entries, and only about 30 have anything remotely interesting in them. Ah well; I'm sure something will come up. Until next time..
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Day 243
Another largely boring day. Almost nothing happened of interest. Except for one odd thing. At around 2, weird particles of something came falling out of the sky. They landed, and vanished; a few of them hit me. Nothing seems to have come from it, though. Everything stopped for a few minutes, but everybody shrugged and went on their business. It's bizarre, but I suppose it could have been far worse.
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Day 244
Compared to the little light show (or whatever the hell it was) yesterday, it's actually been fairly boring today. Except for one odd thing. When I was shaving this morning, my beard seemed longer than usual...ah well, it wasn't really that big of a deal. I still think this whole diary thing is pretty pointless; but if I stop, my wife will kill me. She'd probably get real close, anyways.
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Day 245
I feel strange...different. I'm starting to question my belief in God, and I'm unsure as to why. Maybe this diary thing will be more useful, to help me sort out what's happening. For now, I'll let it be in my own head. Also, hair seems to be growing a bit faster all over my body; probably my imagination, but odd nonetheless.
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Day 246
I fell ill today. The doctor was baffled; he only assumed that there must be some sort of virus going around the town or something; there were about 20 other similar cases at least. He simply told me to stay in bed for a while and rest. He didn't seem too healthy himself...
Also, there's been absolutely no sign of Petral, the boy who brings in the news from around the world once a week or so. I'm probably just being paranoid; he will likely be here tomorrow or the day after.
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Day 247
Most of the town seems to be under the effects of this mysterious virus, but with different symptoms. My wife tells me that old man Poriss has been cold to the touch, while nice little Stephanie down the street has taken on a greenish tint. She seems perfectly healthy though; lucky her. I feel like garbage, though. I can barely even last ten minutes without hacking up a wad of phlegm. It's very disconcerting. Still, I've felt worse. I'll make it through all right.
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Day 248
God, what's happening to me?
I only got a couple hour's sleep last night. It was just too hot, even with all the covers off. My wife was sleeping in the living room, to give me space, after I complained about how hot it was.
Then my wife came in, with some soup for me. But she took one look at me and froze, gaping. She dropped the soup bowl and it shattered on the floor. "What's wrong?" I asked. She only stared. "WHAT'S WRONG?!" I screamed, and leapt out of bed. As I was coming near her, she fainted. Quickly, I ran to a mirror, and stared.
Fur.
I had fur all over my face and chest. And looking at my body, everywhere else too. I'm not covered in fur, but I'm close. And I hadn't even NOTICED. Why does this have to happen?
What IS happening?
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Day 249
Something's changing inside me. I feel like somebody new is clawing through me, attempting to morph my body into his. I've grown more fur, and I'm becoming enraged by the slightest things. I don't feel ill any more, though. It's WORSE. This journal is the only thing keeping me sane. My wife has gotten used to the thought, and is trying to help her. I flung her into a wall. Why? Why? Why did I DO that?
I ran into my room, and locked the door. Eventually, she broke through the lock, but by then I'd settled down enough. She's a wonderful woman. I hope I can share my life with her, even as some kind of monster. God, why me?
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Day 250
God has forsaken us.
That is for certain. I left my house for the first time in nearly a week, and the horrors I've seen are simply indescribable. It's a land of death and anarchy. I thought I was going out of my mind; it turns out I'm sane compared to what's happening to the rest of the town.
I saw little Julia, only 6 years old -- 6! -- eating her father. She growled as soon as I entered her territory.
The doctor took one look at me and scampered off in horror.
The other things I saw I don't even want to think about.
This has to stop, but I have no clue how. Perhaps it will clear away in time.
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DDay 2551
Ohh, my goddd i kIlleD my Wiffee i kiledd herr ahh nno i caantbear to tth ink abbut it my lliFe iiss ggonneee
somebody help me
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I don't even know what day it is any more.
Everything about me seems to be coming back, piece by agonizing piece.
I don't even remember what I did for a while; after my wife died, I just lost it. All self-control I'd managed was thrown away, and I was another one of those animals.
The other day, a woman came into the town. I growled and started in to kill her, but stopped. She seemed ... different somehow. "My name is Elhaym van Houten," she said. "I'm here to help all of you." I was stunned.
But now, a few days after her arrival, I can feel my humanity returning slowly. She reminds me vaguely of Sophia; she even looks like Sophia, if I remember the painting correctly. I'm slowly starting to regain my sanity, and I can finally live with myself again. I still look like this monster, but I've finally learned to live with that without going into the mindset.
What a spectacular woman.