Into the Grey

Erin swirled her fingertip around the smooth rim of the glass of scotch that sat on the bar in front of her. She had even picked the glass up a few times but so far she had managed, by some divine power, not to raise it to her lips. God, she felt as though she was at rock bottom. Everything was on the line. It was the first time in a long time she felt as though she didn't have any control. And she absolutely hated that feeling of helplessness.

Aaron Hotchner slid onto the bar stool beside of her. They were silent for a few moments. Weighing the uneasiness between them. "I'm glad you called."

"Thanks for coming." she had yet to actually look at him.

"So what's going on?" he eased into the question. "Something at the office or home?"

"Both." she exhaled heavily. She pushed her glass of scotch across the bar to him. "My biggest enemy to date. And lately he's winning."

"Bartender." he called getting the young man's attention. "Take this away and bring us two club sodas with a twist of lime." he turned his attention back to his boss. "How long?"

"College." she replied, finally letting her eyes meet his. "It's been an on and off battle for years but I've managed to fight it. To keep it under control. But as of late I can't. A drink at lunch turned into two and then a drink in the afternoon at the office. Three when I get home in the evenings. Another before bed. This cannot continue."

"Rehab." he concluded. "That's a brave decision."

"I don't know about brave. I'm terrified." she told him. "But I have to go. I need to go. I want help. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in this purgatory. It's exhausting."

"When do you leave?"

Two club sodas appeared in front of them and she picked one up. "In the morning." she sipped from small straw. "I thought it would be best to leave from the hotel. If I left from home with Grant and the kids I don't know if I'd have the strength to do it. The courage, really

Aaron nodded. "Is Grant going to drive you?"

"No." she replied. "This is something I need to do myself."

He took a drink of the club soda. "Is everything all right?"

"With Grant?" she asked. "Not as great as it used to be. Between his campaigning and my drinking we've kind of drifted apart. Divorce is imminent."

"It doesn't have to be." he offered. "I'm sure you could work things out."

Erin shrugged. "I'm not so sure I want to." she told him. "I love Grant, I really do. But I need a fresh start. We both do."

"You may feel differently after your treatment."

"Perhaps." she replied. "Time will tell."

"Why don't we get some dinner?" he suggested. "I'd much rather talk over halibut than club soda."

"What about Jack?"

"He's with his grandparents for the weekend." he told her. "Besides I haven't had dinner and I hate to eat alone." he tried to convince her. "And we don't have to talk about your drinking. We can talk about whatever you want."

Erin considered it. She had already opened herself up to him much more than she ever anticipated. "Okay." she finally agreed. "No work talk though, okay?"

Aaron nodded. "Deal."

/

He keyed open her hotel room allowing her to enter and then closing it behind them. He watched as she sat down on the edge of the bed and removed her shoes, letting them hit the patterned carpet. He headed for the mini fridge, opening the door to take stock of the contents.

"I've already taken care of that." she told him. "Nothing left but water and club soda. And peanuts I guess."

Aaron closed the fridge. "Are you sure you're going to be alright here alone?"

"I think I can manage." she replied.

"I could stay if you like."

Erin shook her head. "I don't think that would be a very good idea."

"Why not?"

She looked up at him. "Because I'm incredibly vulnerable and you've already been so kind. Probably more so than I deserve."

"I think you and I both have a rather unhealthy habit of keeping our guard up. Too high at that."

"I could agree with that."

"I know the difference between Chief Strauss and Erin Collins." he reached out for her hands, pulling her to a standing position. "I always have. I've seen you with your husband and with your children and I know there's much more to you than the role you play at the office."

"I don't want your pity Aaron." she said. "In fact I couldn't bare it."

He shook his head. "I'm not offering you pity." His voice was firm yet caring at the same time. "I'm offering you comfort. Question is: can you accept it?"

tbc...

Please review. This story feels to be 6 to 8 chapters as of now.