"I've given up on you," he said, voice soft. "Love fades. Mine has."

Suddenly, my whole world came crashing before me. There it was. The truth.

I stared at him in disbelief. All this time, he'd never phrased it like that. His protests had always been about some greater good, about the remorse he felt over being a monster or how it had scarred him from love. I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has.

I backed up, the sting of those words hitting me as hard as if he'd slapped me. I had to leave. Staying here, being next to him, it became all too much for me. Being in his presence was no longer consuming. Instead, it was crippling. I pushed my way out of the aisle and ran out the doors in the back, afraid that if I stayed longer, everyone in the church would see me cry.

The summer heat blinded me for a moment. I realized I had nowhere to run. I'd lost the most important person to me. Again. I thought losing him in the caves were unbearable. At least I knew he "died" with me still in his heart. Even as a Strigoi, he loved me. Knowing that he moved on tore a chunk of me. I felt so empty, so alone. The loneliness was suffocating.

I couldn't stay here at the Court. Everything reminded me of him. His presence will loom over me. I couldn't risk ever seeing him again. I headed towards my room. Finding a single suitcase, I packed as much as I could fit. Clothes, weapons, money, toiletries... On top of my drawer, I saw the picture. It was taken during Christmas, before the attack. It had the whole gang: Lissa, Christian, Tasha, Eddie, Mason, Dimitri... We were laughing, bundled up in winter clothes. A snapshot where we were all happy.

I didn't realize I was crying until I saw drops fall on the picture. Hastily, I stuffed the picture on top of everything and closed the bag. I was ready. I took a final look at myself.

"Well, I look like crap." Get yourself together, Rose.

I brushed the cat off my head. I wiped my tear-stained make-up. I pinched my cheeks to get some color in them. The room seemed so bare now. It was weird to leave everything that I knew but I couldn't stay here and I don't know if I'm coming back.

I went to go find Lissa to say goodbye. Though she's been the one in between Dimitri and me, she is still my best friend. Leaving her is just as hard as leaving him. I looked across the whole court, but still no luck. Maybe she was with Christian.

On my walk to Christian's dorm to check if Lissa was with him, I found her. She definitely wasn't alone. I should have guessed. She's with him and they were awfully close. Suddenly, she pulled him into a hug. I know it probably wasn't anything romantic, but I couldn't help the jealousy rise in me. She could talk to him. She could touch him. She could do all the things I wish he'd let me do. I've given up on you.

Those words stung me so bad and seeing them ignited more tears and more anger. How could they do this to me? I loved both of them. I fought so hard for both of them. I've kept her alive for two years. I went across the world to save him, going to Russian and breaking into prisons. I've gone to hell and back for both of them, yet I'm somehow the one on the outside. Don't they have any regard on how much I went through?

The anger kept boiling inside me. I could feel my body temperature spike to a fatal degree. My vision tinted red. If this is what I was leaving behind, this resentment, this jealousy and hurt, then so be it. Truly they don't need me anymore. Lissa is in good hands if Dimitri is around and Dimitri doesn't want me. I just walked away from them, not bothering to say goodbye anymore. I didn't allow myself to take a final glance back.

I was so close to the gate when I smelled the cigarettes and liquor.

"Ah little dhampir, where are we off to now?" Adrian asked from the shade of the trees. He looked as attractive as always, with his hair slightly messy, his clothes casual, and his eyes gleaming.

I just gave him a quick look before his eyes grew serious. "What happened, Rose?"

"Nothing," I said, trying not to falter in my façade. "I have to go. Duty calls, you know."

The skepticism was all over his face. "Oh but little dhampir, you are a terrible liar. Your aura gives you away."

"How can you tell? Isn't it supposed to be black? Adrian, I think you're losing your touch."

"I don't like liars," he stepped a little closer to me. "Rose, seriously, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Adrian, I have to go."

"When will you be back?" He looked down at my suitcase.

"We'll see...goodbye." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

I stepped aside him and walked to the gates leading outside of the court.

So where are we going now, Rose?