Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's note:
You know, I highly doubt that I'm the only one to start spying on people as soon as I get on Facebook. I mean, Russia probably does it, too.
Also, I'm not sure if the email address is real; I just made one up on the spot.
EDIT: I had to go back and fix Russia's email address because it didn't show up. I also changed the heart symbol to *heart* because the left side carrot thing wouldn't show up.
Russia should never be allowed to have a Facebook account.
Never.
Russia should never be allowed to own a computer.
Never.
Russia shouldn't even be allowed to know what a computer is, let alone own one.
Russia happily sat down on his computer chair and opened up Google Chrome on his desktop. It went directly to his homepage: Facebook. He logged in with his email address—BecomeOneWithMotherRussiaDa at gmail—and logged in with his password—YesIWillBecomeOne.
When his News Feed had loaded, he ignored the posts that came up under Top News, going directly to the search bar at the top. He typed in the name of a certain Latvian that he knew.
You see, this was a daily ritual for Russia. Before he did anything else on the website, he spied on some Baltics that he knew, ones that used to live with him, used to be part of the Soviet Union.
"Raivis Galante" was the name at the top of the page.
"Nothing new, da?" Russia asked himself aloud.
Well, then, he would just have to spy on a certain Estonian if that was the case.
"Eduard Von Bock" was the name at the top of the next page he visited.
Wait—there was nothing new on Estonia's page either! What was going on? Why were they not on Facebook where Russia could spy on them? This was an outrage!
Well, there was one more Baltic that Russia could spy on…Lithuania.
He went to the search bar at the top of the screen and typed in the following: Toris Lorinaitis
Lithuania had no posts either! What was this? Why were none of the Baltics on Facebook?
Well, there was one more place that Russia could go to spy on the Baltics and that was the Facebook page of a certain Polish man…
He typed a new name into the search bar.
The name "Feliks Łukasiewicz" was now at the top of the page. To the left of the name was a picture of a Pollack and a Lithuanian kissing. What?
Russia knew that Poland would definitely have some statuses up—it was Poland, the should-be valley girl, after all.
Feliks Łukasiewicz Like, OMG, Liet and I went out on, like, a date. Just came home and, like, I'm soooo tired. Welp, I'm going to bed. I *heart* you, Toris Lorinaitis. Like, totally goodnight Facebook peeps!
Elizaveta Héderváry, Toris Lorinaitis, Kiku Honda, and 12 other people like this.
Toris Lorinaitis I l-love you, too, Poland.
Elizaveta Héderváry Aw! So cute! You two are such a cute couple!
Feliks Łukasiewicz I totes know! Aren't we, like, just like the cutest couple?
Elizaveta HéderváryDefinitely!
Russia now knew that Lithuania was spending time with Poland. The former Soviet Union nation would have to pay later on.
"Russia, what are you doing, aru?"
Russia spun the chair around to face the Chinese man he had left in their bed alone that morning.
"I'm just checking Facebook, da."
China shook his head; he didn't understand the point of Facebook. He started out of the room, "I'm going to make breakfast, aru."
Russia would have to plot his revenge on Lithuania after breakfast.
Author's note:
Reviews are love. ;D