This is slightly a crack fic

For the Quidditch League

Puddlemere United, CHASER 3: Troll Doll

Optional Prompts: 9. (word) horror; 12. (emotion) fear; 13. (genre) Humour

1137 words

Betaed by June

"What. Is. This?"

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius held the little figure up in front of him. It was something his mother had given him before he started his second year, and he had immediately stuffed it in his trunk — he didn't want to look at it ever again, honestly.

Which had done an awful lot of good; it was now dangling from its hair in Sirius' hand.

The item in Sirius' hand was a tiny doll, with an ugly face and a shock of purple hair. They had supposedly been big when his mother was a kid, but Remus had no interest in them.

"A Troll Doll," Remus told Sirius, repeating what his mother had told him.

"A Troll Doll," Sirius echoed, a loose grin on his lips.

Remus rolled his eyes once again and grabbed the doll out of Sirius' hand, throwing it back into his trunk. Sirius didn't make another move towards it, but Remus was still wary of the look on his face; there were definitely gears turning in Sirius' head, probably related to Remus' Troll Doll.

Remus just had to brace himself.

Remus felt like crap. It was an understandable feeling, really; there were just a few days before the full moon and it was already starting to take its toll on Remus.

He needed chocolate.

He knew this would happen, though, so he prepared in advance by ordering a whole shipment of Honeydukes' chocolate. Right after his classes ended, Remus made his way back to the dormitory and dove under his bed, bringing out his big package.

Using his wand, he cut it open and —

There was no chocolate in it.

Instead, a small doll laid in it, with an ugly face and purple hair. Remus' Troll Doll. Remus lifted it out of the box by its hair, squinting at it.

"Sirius," Remus whispered under his breath.

It was pretty obvious that Sirius was the culprit here; nobody else knew about Remus' Troll Doll but him. Remus was going to murder Sirius. He needed that chocolate.

Maybe it was the wolf inside of him speaking, but Remus still let out a little growl in his throat, whipping around as Sirius entered the dormitory at that moment. Speak of the devil.

"Where's my chocolate?" Remus asked, showing Sirius the troll.

Remus was actually surprised; Sirius managed to hold a serious look for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.

"Get it?" he said, gasping in between his bouts of laughter. "Because I trolled you!"

He walked over to Remus, taking the Troll Doll from him.

"This little thing is great," he told Remus with a big grin.

Remus wasn't so amused.

"Where's my chocolate?" he asked again, fixing Sirius with a deep glare.

The two of them had been friends for over two years; Sirius should have known better than to mess with Remus' chocolate.

"Oh, it's fine," Sirius said, throwing down the Troll Doll. "Your chocolate was protected."

Sirius made his way to the trunk in front of his bed and drew out Remus' chocolate, chucking it at him.

"Don't prank me, Sirius," Remus told him, falling slightly backwards from the force of the chocolate. "We're supposed to prank other people together. Not each other."

"Yeah, sure," Sirius said, grinning at Remus.

Something in Sirius' smile made Remus remain wary, though.

Showers relaxed Remus. They gave him a time to be alone and also a time to think. He always started out facing the shower head, and eventually turned around to wash the back part of his body.

Today, he let the water run over him, squeezing his eyes shut. The full moon had just passed. He almost didn't have the energy to even shower, but he had dragged himself to get clean anyway, despite the fact that he could fall asleep standing up.

Remus shook himself as he slowly turned around, preparing to wash his back. He had already spent a while in the shower; his fingers were starting to prune up. Straightening his neck, Remus looked at the back of the shower and —

The horror.

Remus couldn't help it; he let out a scream.

Standing there, in Remus' shower, was his Troll Doll, except it was bigger. It was so much bigger. At its normal size, Remus could easily pick it up with two fingers. Now, though, it had grown to almost one hundred times of its original size. Remus doubted that he would be able to be it up using both of his arms.

And the face — well, the face had looked ugly when it was small, but blown up the face looked, it looked downright horrifying. Remus hated it. He could feel the pace of his heart quickening. He didn't know why he felt so scared — maybe it was an aftereffect of the full moon — but he knew that he wanted that Troll Doll gone.

Remus could only think of one person who would want to prank Remus like this.

"Sirius," he whispered under his breath.

Sirius ran in at that moment — he was probably alerted by Remus' scream.

"Remus?" he said.

Remus had to admit; Sirius' concerned look was good. As if he didn't know why Remus had screamed. He was about to turn off the water and go and shout at Sirius, but Sirius chose that moment to make eye contact with him, his eyes momentarily flicking down.

Remus' face heated up, as he shifted his hands awkwardly to cover himself; he was in the shower. Was this really a good time for Sirius to prank him? Sirius started to laugh, his eyes brightening up. Remus knew that he wasn't doing the best job of covering himself up. His blush wasn't going down.

His eyes flicked around the bathroom as Sirius continued to laugh. He knew that they were best mates, but he still knew that there was a line somewhere. His towel, unfortunately, was outside of the shower, and Remus would not be exiting this shower. Not until Sirius exited the bathroom, at least.

The Troll Doll was his only option, then.

Remus moved closer to the Troll Doll and quickly withdrew his hands, placing them onto the Troll Doll. It was lighter than Remus had expected — it was probably hollow inside, he supposed — so Remus moved it in front of him easily.

"Remus," Sirius said, pausing his laughter for a moment.

"What?" Remus snapped. He wished that his mother had never given him the Troll Doll in the first place. Who knew that they could cause so much grief for him?

"You're a Troll Doll," he said, his voice serious, barely above a whisper.

There was a moment of silence before Sirius began laughing again, and Remus couldn't help it; he joined in.