Disclaimer: This story is in no way intended to infringe on any copyrights, It is a strictly a fan fiction.
Wolfwood's Sins
By The Fan fiction Nymph
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"Funny...I consider myself a man of God. A man of the cloth and yet I have committed nearly every sin that is condemned by that same God. And I knowingly continue to do so..." Wolfwood took a long sip from his drink before putting it back down on the rickety bar table. His melancholy mood was matched by the atmosphere of the hole in the wall saloon.
"Am I as she said… a hypocrite?" His face still burned from the impact of her hand. Wolfwood couldn't tell which stung more, the slap or the doubt of his own faith. Slowly the dull and dirty bar began to fade away as he became deep in thought.
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Theft
I think that most kids get into trouble at one time or another…get hungry when they have no money and just take an apple or something. I myself have been in that position more times than I would like to admit…
When my so called 'guardian' 'forgot' to feed me – I think that's why I started sneaking scraps from the local grocer. He caught me once…I had been hiding behind a barrel of tomatoes. It was closing time and usually he would just lock up and leave and I would sneak out threw the back door (which locked from the inside). That night however he didn't. Maybe he knew that someone was stealing from him or maybe…he had a fight with his wife or something. I don't know and I won't pretend to.
Sure enough though he found me – it was only a matter of time anyways. I was…terrified. I prepared myself for the beating I knew would follow as his shadow fell over me. But it never came.
The large hand that plummeted towards my face scooped me up by the scruff of my collar…and set me on my feet. I winced waiting for it to fall again, but it didn't. Eventually I looked up and saw his dark eyes appeared warm.
He never asked me why I was stealing the food, it spoke for itself. You steal food because you are starving. Any good mother would steal for her children to eat and prays that it never comes to that.
The God that I know understands stealing food when you're starving.
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Excessive Drinking
I don't consider drinking to be a sin…just a vice of mine that helps the pain. We face so much pain on this dusty planet… I started drinking at a young age because of that pain.
It was easy, that first glass. A bottle I nicked out of his cabinet one night. It was warm and spicy on my throat. Warm on another freezing night on this dust ball we call home.
I could laugh with the help of this new found magical drink. Made a lot of those lonely nights bearable, where as I had once thought I would go insane. And I was thankful for the haze it added to my memories…some things shouldn't be remembered. The drink is all too familiar to us here on this earth…so many memories…
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Lying
I found that lying can be necessary at times…I – I lied to the orphans when I left. I told them…I told them that I would be back – when I knew that I wouldn't be.
Saying goodbye…they wouldn't have understood and it would have upset them. I didn't want them to suffer. I wanted to shelter them from all the horrible things that I had seen in this world.
They say you should never lie to children, because they won't understand…well I hope that they never have to.
I hope that they never cradle a dying friend and tell him that his wounds are not so bad, that things would be alright – just before his eyes loose all light. Lying has a place in this world as long as the people in it are imperfect beings.
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Lust
The first time was an accident; I was just a clumsy kid really with feelings that flushed his skin. I didn't even know what she had in mind when she took my hand and lead me around to the back of the bakery. Janine, I think it was. She was a curvy brunette with a nice smile who ran the bakery. I must have been no older than 14 yet because I hadn't yet picked up smoking but was already familiar with death. Its hazy now, but I recall the sweet scent of baked goods and of her inner heat.
I have had little time for women in my life, some thing I always try to convince myself to make more time for and never do. I also could never bear the thought of creating a situation like one I have rescued children from so many times before. A single parent home, dying to make ends meet…its better than a cold shower. Just another cold slice of the reality we deal with here.
I like to think that lust is cheap and common, something to hold on to at night when you cant get to sleep. Of course acting on lust can be one of the more expensive endeavors. Maybe I've just seen too many men gunned down in the name of this demon.
But I also like to think that love is eternal, if not in this world then at least in the next… we can be together.
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Smoking
Another habit I found along my journey. Something to clear my thinking and comfort my lips. It may not be a sin, but it is damn dirty. I worry some days that I may die with a cigarette on my lips.
A strange thought perhaps, but we are all just mortal beings.
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Thou Shall Not Kill
I picked up my first gun at the age of 7 and I shot. I remember how strangely easy it was to pull the trigger. I actually laughed out loud. I was free. Yes tomorrow would be different, or so I had thought.
It only went from bad to worse. A Vicious circle.
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Cheating
Sometimes I think, there's no place worse than this planet. Weather behind a hand of cards or closed doors I cannot say that I have never cheated. On this world we live on, we make our own luck and at times must fake the luck we don't have.
Many times people think that they can turn to luck of the game to sooth their pain or their finances. Too many times though you will see a man being suckered out of his life earnings by a big town card man with aces up his sleeves. I may not be an angel but I believe in equalizing a situation.
Is it wrong to cheat a cheat? – More than once I've used this very tactic to then give that doubled money back to the poor man who lost it, after he promises to never gamble again.
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Gluttony
Food can be scares here, which makes the ability to over indulge in it difficult. I have to say that I've not been fortunate enough to have this sin be a real mark on my soul… Though I have found a strange weakness for doughnuts.
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I always thought that I've done the right thing, in these times the lines seem to blurr right behind my very eyes.
I suppose that the only trade I learned was behind the barrel of a gun. Unfortunately there always seems to be more work for a gunman on this dust ball. Tears formed in his dark eyes before quickly slamming down the rest of his drink. His sense of justice had never wavered but now traveling with the man called Vash - he had to wonder if there was not another way to live.
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