A/N: BLAH. So this is gonna be a series of short chapters, similar to this one. It may be a long time between updates, I have a lot of other stuff going on, and this is just a small idea I had. So. Yeah. LET'S READ FANFICTION NOW.

Warning: Eventual slash, swearing, sexual references.

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling. I never have been JK Rowling. And chances are, I never will be JK Rowling. Unless I change my name. -ponderation-

Falling

Sirius Black fell off the sofa.

There was a crash, and a wumph, and the paintings on the walls rattled. Sirius ignored this however, putting a hand to his head and groaning lightly. So maybe falling off the sofa had been a stupid move.

"You know you're gonna hurt yourself, falling off furniture like that. I'd mention brain damage, but it's a bit late for that." Came the refined tones of Remus Lupin, peeking idly over the top of the book he was reading, from the chair beside the head of Sirius' former sofa.

"I don't care. Floors are nicer anyway." Sirius groaned, rubbing his head. "Even if they do betray me by bashing me in the head viciously. They have carpet and things. It's nice."

"Not all floors have carpet. The floors in the dungeons are all stone, and the floors near the Ravenclaw Common Room are hardwood. The Hufflepuffs have better carpeting than us though, it's nice and soft." Remus shrugged, still staring at Sirius with that calculating amber stare, his book still waiting in line, making it clear that this was a temporary conversation in Remus' golden eyes, and it would be reading time again soon.

"I should have been a Hufflepuff. Softer floors." Sirius said, words slightly warped by the fact that he was rubbing his face. "Actually no, I like our floors. They're hard and unforgiving, just like you."

Remus blinked. "And why exactly am I so hard and unforgiving?" He raised an eyebrow, the scar on his forehead distorting at this tiny movement.

"Because you make us study for our OWLs. Remus, it's September. The school year only started a week ago, and we already have all this homework for OWLs, and required reading for OWLs and all of that other bullshit the teachers gave us for OWLs. And now you say 'Hey guys! Know what would be really fun to use our free time on, instead of Marauding and having a good time? Studying for OWLs!'"

"Sirius, these exams actually matter. This is your future we're talking about!" Remus sighed, the book now being transferred to his lap, still face open, words now pointed at the ceiling. This meant Remus was gearing up for another studying-is-important rant. "If you get bad marks this year, you won't be able to get any of the jobs you really want! Doesn't this bother you at all?"

"Not really." Sirius shrugged. "I see my future in something less studying, more adventure. Like Cursebreaking or something."

"To be a Cursebreaker you have to have NEWTs in the required subjects, which are Charms, Defence, Potions, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Herbology, and Care of Magical Creatures, as well as at least two OWLs in other subjects. You're not going to be a Cursebreaker, Sirius."

"Fine then, what about an Auror, Mr. walking career pamphlet?"

"Defence, Charms, Potions, Transfig. You're taking all of them."

"Ooo, so I only actually need to pass four OWLs. Looks like I'm gonna be an Auror."

Remus shook his head, sighing. He raised the book back up, disappearing behind the pages, and conversation was over. Sirius lay on the floor, hands clasped on his stomach, staring aimlessly up Remus' trousers. The man's trousers were really a disgrace. Rather than being fashionably flared like James and Sirius' pants, Remus' trousers widened continuously, like two giant flares sewn together. Sirius could see right up his hairy, scar-riddled leg. It was skinny, and Remus' knee was knobbly. Of course, Sirius knew all this, he had shared a room with the man for four years, but he was just now realising afresh, as he studied every detail of his friend's lower leg. There was a bandage obscuring part of his view, a remnant from the most recent full moon. As Sirius pondered on this, Remus seemed to sense the gaze, lifting the book over his head now to gaze down.

"Didn't realise my legs were so interesting." He raised an eyebrow, and Sirius shrugged.

"More interesting than Charms. Charms doesn't have lots of little hairs all over it."

Remus blushed, glaring at his friend. "Uncool. You know why I'm so hairy."

Sirius shrugged. "I'm hairy too though. Haven't you seen my legs since I hit puberty? Haven't you been gazing at them, basking in their glory?" He adopted a hurt look, and even raised his hands up like a dog who wants you to scratch his belly.

"I didn't see any real need to admire your legs." Remus rolled his eyes, the book now nestled in his lap. "I'm more concerned at the fact that you've apparently been admiring mine."

Sirius glared at him irritatedly. "That's because, as I have said before, your legs are far more interesting than reading about which musty old wizard invented what charm. Snore. Legs are better. You can have all kinds of fun with legs."

"Do I want to know what kinds of fun you're referring to?" Remus raised an eyebrow, his face taking on the same interestedly disinterested look it always did when Sirius or one of the others mentioned something dirty.

"Eventually you will Moony. When your balls finally drop, and your voice breaks, and all those manly things the rest of us have already experienced."

Remus snorted. "My voice broke in third year, Sirius. You just didn't notice, because you were too busy attempting to build a bomb with James, so the two of you could blow up McGonagall's office. Thank God that one was a failure, or we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

"Yeah, but if it had succ-wait, your voice broke in third year?" Sirius blinked.

"What about it?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Uncool! Mine didn't break until the middle of fourth year!" He groaned. "Buggar you."

"No thanks, I'm a bit busy preparing for a bright future." Remus rolled his eyes. "A future of unemployment, thanks to the bloody registry office."

Sirius sighed, hearing the defeated tone in his friend's voice. "Don't talk like that. The second anyone sees your grades they'll snap you up, regardless of what the registry says. You're bloody smart Moony, and Merlin knows this country needs more smart people."

Remus smiled wanly. "Thanks Pads, but I'm looking at this one realistically. It was only because Dumbledore's unnaturally kind that I got to go to school at all, imagine what kind of miracle it would take for a complete stranger to hire me."

"Someone you know then. Wait until one of us becomes fabulously rich, then mooch off us."

Remus rolled his eyes and shook his head. "The most I'm hoping for is a few temporary positions, then asking Dumbledore if I can teach."

"Brilliant, Rem!" Sirius grinned. "Become a teacher! Albeit, not a fabulously wealthy one, but a teacher nonetheless. Go ask Dumbledore right now, he's bound to say yes!"

Remus rolled his eyes. "He never hires people straight out of school, Sirius. You have to have world experience for a few years first. You know that. Besides, the only position open at the moment is for Defence, and you know that one's cursed."

"But still! The way Jamie and I are going, McGonagall will have retired by the time we leave, just apply for her job."

"Sirius! No, okay! Just drop it." Remus sighed, pulling his feet off the floor, to hug his knees. "I know how little hope of a future I have. Don't go screwing it up with false hope."

"Okay." Sirius sighed, and they sat in silence for a minute, each contemplating the future of Remus John Lupin.

"I mean it, you know. If Jamie and I get rich, we'll hire you. Matter of fact, we'll make you a partner. Marauder Enterprises, can you imagine it?"

Remus snorted. "I can hardly imagine you and James as businessmen."

"Who said anything about business?" Sirius grinned. "No way, we're opening a joke shop! Marauders Magical Mischief and More. Hopefully we'll be banned from Hogwarts quicker than old Zonko was."

Remus sniggered slightly. "What about being an Auror?"

"Oh, sure, if I want a serious career. James and I have been talking about the joke shop though, we reckon it'd be the best application of our talents out there. We'd be nothing without the brains of the group though, eh Moony?"

"Well... okay. If I let you two do this alone you'll just muck it all up." Remus smiled.

"Brilliant." Sirius grinned. "Now we just have to convince Pete to join in."

"You know as well as I do that if you and James are in, he'll follow." Remus rolled his eyes, and Sirius shrugged.

"Still. Polite to ask. Your legs really are very hairy." Sirius observed and Remus moved his legs out of Sirius' view.

"Stop eyeing me up." He raised an eyebrow.

"Make me." Sirius stuck out his tongue.

"You realise you just asked a super-strong werewolf to beat you up, don't you Sirius?" Remus said dryly.

Sirius looked around quickly, but they were safe. The Common Room was mostly empty now, nobody had heard. "Oh, but Remus m'dear, you know I get off on that kind of thing."

Remus eyed him. "I can see how arousing me beating the crap out of you would be."

"Oh, but it is." Sirius grinned. "Makes me all horny just thinking about it."

Remus rolled his eyes and kicked him hard in the side, getting up. "I'm going to bed now before you get even more disturbing."

Sirius coughed and clutched his side. "Heartless beast!"

"You only just noticed?" Remus smirked, climbing the dormitory stairs.