I do not own any of Tolkien's characters(sadly blows nose into an offered handkerchief), but the OC's are MINE all MINE( There's a major accomplishment TT) This is basically your 'what would happen if an unsuspecting person was dropped into Middle Earth?' story. Except that, the people in the story are being modeled after actual friends and I don't believe in adding attributes. If they are missing a leg due to a shark attack in real life, then they are not going to get a new leg in the story and run faster than an enemy on horseback. In other words NO MARY SUES or MARTY STUES…well with the exception of my character. Just kidding(crosses fingers)

enjoy ++

"Damn it Renata! I'm getting bitten by mosquitoes, it's getting dark, and I could have sworn that I'd heard a wolf howl in the distance. It's obvious that he's once again left us high and dry. I'm going home."

"No Candice, you can't! Jemaul said that we'd get the shock of our lives if we just met him here ("here" being a field in the middle of nowhere reminiscent of a scene from Wrong Turn) and waited patiently. It'll be well worth-." Renata tried to console her friend though the only thoughts coming to her were the time that Jemaul had dragged them with him to release his pet pygmy rattlesnake Carol in a similar location down a dirt road. All in all it wasn't too bad until the main road disappeared and random articles of clothing appeared near the release site. Now that she thought about it, he'd also dragged her out into "no-man's land" where the asphalt and street lights simultaneously gave way to gravel and darkness that even the headlights couldn't penetrate. Was it just her imagination or did all things dealing with Jemaul lead to places where axe murderers ought to reside?

Candice sat there wondering why Renata paused mid-sentence.

"It'll be well worth…the pain? The despair? The…" She calmly thought of all things that typically resulted from following the advice of their friend (or so he called himself) until it hit her!

"Ooh you hag! Your mind is being clouded by horrible memories isn't it! I know that expression anywhere. I'm leaving right-"

Just then the humming of two people cut her off.

"Ooh see Renata? I knew that we were getting set up! He probably hired bum to chase us with a knife for a few bucks or something."

"Nope that's him and Aneadra"

"And how in the world do you know that?"

As far as Candice was concerned, there were two body snatchers less than 50 feet away.

"Because if you listen closely, the deeper voice is humming "Hope and Memory" from the Return of the King soundtrack, and the second voice is humming Redemption by Gackt." Noticing that Candice was about to say something, she added "and if you ask me why I know those things, then I'll knock you out and leave you with them!"

Candice opened her mouth with a response at the ready, until she noted the unwavering smiles on the faces of the approaching duo. For once, she'd actually let Renata win.

"Hey guys, Can you guess what today is?"

"Oh God, it can't be!"

Renata drew up into a ball and began to shake violently.

Candice, recognizing the hint, instantly rattled off dates in cattle auctioneer fashion.

Me- January 6th, Renata- August 28th, Jemaul- April 4th, Aneadra- July 1st…

Ha! It's June, you can't get us! You can't make us do it!"

She pointed and laughed hysterically until Aneadra interrupted.

"Umm… Candice? It's June 30th and it'll be 12 in …umm 30 seconds."

At this new information her face went slack and she calmly sat down next to her now motionless friend, who simply lay there with tears streaking her face.

"Well if you guys are finished making a huge fuss over nothing, I'd like to begin the ceremony." He had scored a circle with a star connecting with each of it's points into the ground and began marking each person in a sticky red substance.

"Please find a position facing the center to sit in."

"What's going on?! Is this a cult or something? Why are we in a pentagram and covered in blood!? I'm leaving now!"

"Oh Aneadra, you're over-reacting. That's fabric paint, and I don't do pentagrams. This is a "quad"dragram…as in four corners. Besides wouldn't want to call up old Satan and tell him that it was a wrong number would we?" He smiled momentarily until Candice and Renata seemed to faint from a past horror or memory that still haunted them. "Be quiet! He said that he'd let us slide because it was a first offence, so don't go off having seizures on me again! The last time I checked your souls had been replaced and are good as ne-" Though he was still speaking, the sound of a child's laughter seemed to blanket everything.

"I am Teanie the smallest of the Genies, who dares summons me?"

"I am Jemaul…the best of them all, summon you." He had to wait out the expected snorts and rude comments after his self-introduction before he could continue with the conversation. "So, what's with the name?"

"Oh we genies have a hurricane naming system going. Every 26 births get a corresponding letter from the alphabet. We all try are hardest to get Jeanie, but around Z we start getting nervous because the poor sucker that get's Beanie has to live with that name for all eternity, or at least until his or her master uses one of the three wishes to release them."

"Getting back to business, it's our friend Aneadra's birthday and we'd like to give her the first wish."

"You'd better make that the only wish" Teanie added with a smirk

"I'm the smallest and thereby only have one wish to offer." The smirk vanished as shame clouded the little face.

"The only way for me to grow would be for my master to free me, but upon hearing that there is only one wish, they stop caring whatsoever."

Aneadra knelt down in front of the little genii and gently patted the shimmering turban.

"It's okay Teanie, I'll free you. Come on Jemaul; I'm ready to give this little one a good life."

Candice and Renata merely eyed one another warily, they remembered the three wished that they'd made last year. Candice asked for a computer that would never become slow, full, or infected. Renata asked for a Playstation 50 and after both being rebuked for being so selfish, Jemaul made his "wish". The year before that, they'd made their wishes and Jemaul once again made his "wish". They knew what he was normally did, but being that the freedom of this little wish maker was on the line and with it being Aneadra's birthday, they were able to breathe with confidence for a while.

"Teanie I'm ready to make my wish." Aneadra looked at the little genie who was now close to tears. Jemaul walked up to Teanie and looked into eyes that seemed to have every color imaginable reflecting back. As a smile played upon the small face, Jemaul began to speak.

"No Aneadra, I summoned the genie, and I'll do the deed" Aneadra and Teanie looked upon him with admiration worthy of a true leader, while the other two peered out of the corners of their eyes with unhidden suspicion.

"I, Jemaul hereby make my wish, that little Teanie the Genie bound by laws that are unnatural and unacceptable is hereby… (Teanie leaned forward in unhidden anticipation) traded out for a decent genie, because this little pixie is really throwing a wrench in my night!" With that Teanie's face sunk in he vanished at the same time another genie appeared.

"Greetings my name is-"

"Let's skip the chat. We have three wishes correct?"

"Yes, I B-" The poor fella couldn't get a single word in, as Jemaul stalked back and forth. Two of the females just looked on as though nothing could shock them anymore and the third hadn't even recovered enough to loosen the smile that was there before the amendments were made to her wish.

"Oh, you got the B? Sucks for you. How about this? #1 I wish that Teanie was freed. You can have the second wish, either you get to have your freedom or I can give you a chance to change your name. Beanie thought for a while and rather hard at that (Geez, Is it really that hard? Freedom is overrated when you have that for a name) before agreeing that the name definitely had preface over his current occupation. #2 I wish for Beanie to have a name of his choosing. So what'd you choose?"

"Harold" The genie formerly known as Beanie replied all too flatly

"WTH!? Harold!? That's the best that you could do?"

"Well I was put on the spot" the genie huffed, and tried to look indignant, but how indignant can a "Harold" actually look and be taken seriously?

"Now for wish #3. I wish to be taken to Middle Earth. Wait! I need supplies that would last throughout my stay!"

"No way, you moocher. You already made the wish, besides you keep cutting me o-"

"No I don't, and the few times that I did, it was to keep you from saying something stupid like, "Hi, I'm Beanie" and I allowed you to change your name, so payback is an order"

Harold couldn't really argue with the logic and luggage of all sorts appeared next to them.

"Fare thee well, for you may not be-"

"Hey what about Middle Earth?" Aneadrea couldn't help but notice that the landscape hadn't changed any.

"Oh Middle Earth is essentially Earth but only different, that's why I brought us to this spot, so that we wouldn't appear in the Shire or Bree or something like that with hobbits."

Jemaul cringed, thinking about the cheerful little people.

Harold, not accustomed to being treated so rudely, figured that the best chance for him to get a complete line in would, be with a quick retreat. "See ya Lat-"

"Bye Harold" They all shouted, completely unaware of what they'd just done.

"Renata do you see them?" Candice whispered, while looking under bushes and behind trees.

"No Candice, but I can almost feel them looking at us… this doesn't bode well" she replied, while throwing rocks up into the thick foliage of the trees surrounding them.

"Who are "they"? And why would they be under a mushroom" Aneadra asked while pointedly looking at the two girls poking a patch of mushrooms with sticks as if expecting a demon horde to leap forth. As though on cue, a sound similar to that of a buffalo came thundering from the right and a huge shadow leapt onto Renata's back bringing her down without a struggle. While everyone gazed in shock at the intruder, a second shadow dropped from the trees onto Candice's shoulders and sent them both tumbling in a very undignified manner.

"Uncle Maul, Aunt Nata and Aunt Candi! What did you bring us!" The two men, picked each person up in a bear (mind you, full out grizzly getting a hold of caribou) hug and then proceeded to dance in anticipation.

"Aneadra meet Boromir and Faramir known to us as Bory the Brooder and Fary the Follower. You'll find out all too soon how they came by those names." He then proceeded to hand out chocolate bars to each boy/man and even slapped Boromir on the hand for snatching Faramir's because he'd already finished his and wanted another.

Renata grabbed her by the hand and brought her over to their fallen comrade. While arranging ice packs and bandages, Renata spoke."

"They'll be over there forever, so this is as good a time as any to get you caught up on what's been going on."

This fic will be done in two parts. Renata's tale of how we came to know the BoG (Brothers of Gondor-get used to seeing the shortened form) and what happened after our most recent visit.

I would like to do the prequel before starting from this point and working forward. It'll mainly be a series a flashbacks from Renata's POV. Hopefully all will go well. I don't do very well with random instances so I've just been using examples of things that have been happening since I've actually known these people (well I think that we may exclude the whole Satan/Genie thing). Hopefully the people being used in this fic won't mind. If you are confused (I can't help you) or want to know where this is going, then you're already one step ahead of me.

Reviews are welcome