Valium Dreams
by Mariye
======
Disclaimer: I don't own Zell, or FF8. Otherwise I would be a very
happy girl and wouldn't have to go to college and become a teacher
or a CG movie artist.
A/N: I love Zell. Don't get me wrong. I mean, my two favorite
characters are Zell and Irvine. Just I read Caleb Nova's speech and
then I saw Sergeant Phoenix's Zell series and, well, this serious
Zell fic and Intervention came out of it. If you don't wanna feel
sad and depressed and hear about Zell dying, turn back now and go
read Intervention instead.
======
Zell laid back in his bed.
~I'm just going to fall asleep. Its a normal night. Nothing's
different. Only this time I'll fall asleep and just won't wake up.
No one will have to deal with me or fall over me or insult me or
point out everything I have ever done wrong...~
Zell rolled over and looked at the ceiling.
~So why am I not tired?~
[Zell!]
~Wha?!?~
Zell shot up in bed. His room looked like the small house in Timber
they had stayed in after Seifer had attacked the president of
Galbadia. Squall was standing at the end of the bed, facing him.
Quistis and Selphie stood on the side, softly talking. Rinoa sat on
a chair, head in her hands.
"Squall?"
[How could you say we were from Garden?]
[You have endangered our whole mission Zell! Because of you, Galbadia,
Trabia, and Balamb Gardens can be in danger!] Selphie looked at him
with guilty eyes.
"I... I just wasn't thinking!"
[The problem is that as far as I've seen, you never think! If you
had only just followed Squall. Maybe even Seifer would have been
alive...] Rinoa looked up, then back at her feet.
[I never should have let you take the SeeD exam. You aren't ready.
You'll never be ready.] Quistis shook her head at him.
"I didn't mean to! It was an accident. And Seifer lived Rinoa! It
wasn't my fault!" Zell picked up a pillow and threw it at the figures.
They disappeared into thin air, but the pillow remained in a lump
on the floor.
[Zell...]
"Who's there! Just leave me alone!" Zell turned to his left, to see
what was going on. Selphie stood their, crying, trying to wipe away
the tears with her hands.
"Selphie?"
[How could you? If... if you hadn't said we were from Garden,
Trabia it... it would have been okay! Everything would have been
alright!]
"Selphie... I..." Zell reached for the ghost, to try and comfort
her. It faded at his touch.
[Zell.]
He saw a hand appear on his shoulder. It was the hand of one of the
people he trusted most, who had backed him up so many times.
"Quistis?"
[If only you had finished the job at the Desert Prison. You tried to
kill yourself there. Die the noble way. A way that would have made
your family and friends proud. But you failed. You were brought back
up. Save your friends by staying behind. Oh but you couldn't stay
behind.]
"I thought I could help them. And I made it, and you all seemed so
happy and glad that I was there and able to help. So happy when
we all got out."
[Yeah, you were able to help. What have you done?] Quistis floated
away.
[Chicken Wuss. Always swatting flies. Never getting anything done.
Well, you're finally getting things done. Or are you gonna chicken
outta this too? You gonna dial up the infirmary and chicken out?]
"I'm not a chicken!" Zell screamed at the top of his lungs. Seifer's
apparition laughed. "I can do this."
[Be a man? You're not your grandfather.]
"Stop saying that!"
[Its true. You're not him and you'll never be him.] Seifer faded
away.
"I tried to be him... I tried... but I couldn't. It was so hard."
[You let us down.]
"Squall. Make all this stop!"
[You never could handle anything. Even when we left you behind when
Quistis, Rinoa, and I went to the Lunar Base. If Edea hadn't pleaded
on your behalf, I would have left Quistis in charge.]
"I could handle it. I never got a chance."
[Like Seifer says, you're a Chicken Wuss.]
:::BANG BANG BANG:::
"Zell? You okay? We heard screaming."
"Squall?" Zell looked confused from the aparition to the door.
[You couldn't even stop Lunatic Pandora when you had the chance.]
"It wasn't my fault."
[Pretty conveniant excuse.] Rinoa appeared by Squall.
"Zell? Please open up. Are you alright?" Rinoa called from behind
the door."
[All these excuses Zell. Squall and I don't have time for it. We're
leaving.] Rinoa and Squall faded away.
"Don't leave me!" Zell cried out to the ghosts. Irvine and Selphie
appeared.
[We have each other too. Always a third wheel.]
[Like I'd ever go out with someone like you Zell. C-ya!]
Quistis showed up. [You were always the worst student I ever had.]
Seifer appeared with the DC as she left. [I have better places to be.]
Then, they were all gone.
"Zell? ZELL!" Selphie pounded on the door.
[You were never a good son. Always caused troubles. I sent you to
Garden to get rid of you.]
"Mom..." He reached for her, and she faded at his touch.
Zell laid back. He turned his head and saw his Grandfather next to
him.
"Grandpa?"
[You're weak. I expected more of you. Now look at yourself.]
"I tried to make you proud."
[You failed. Like always. I'm ashamed to be your grandfather.]
"Don't say that!"
"ZELL! IF YOU CAN HEAR US, OPEN THIS DOOR!" Quistis was sobbing and
beating on the door.
"Where's Irvine with the Master Key?" Seifer asked.
[My daughter and her husband never should have adopted you.]
...silence...
The door burst open. Everyone ran in.
"Zell!" They all yelled at different times as they ran to the
pale figure on the bed.
They were too late.
======
[the end]
Kinda sad. Read Sergeant Phoenix's One Day at a Time series if you like
stories where Zell actually has depth and isn't just a happy clown.
It is sad though.
by Mariye
======
Disclaimer: I don't own Zell, or FF8. Otherwise I would be a very
happy girl and wouldn't have to go to college and become a teacher
or a CG movie artist.
A/N: I love Zell. Don't get me wrong. I mean, my two favorite
characters are Zell and Irvine. Just I read Caleb Nova's speech and
then I saw Sergeant Phoenix's Zell series and, well, this serious
Zell fic and Intervention came out of it. If you don't wanna feel
sad and depressed and hear about Zell dying, turn back now and go
read Intervention instead.
======
Zell laid back in his bed.
~I'm just going to fall asleep. Its a normal night. Nothing's
different. Only this time I'll fall asleep and just won't wake up.
No one will have to deal with me or fall over me or insult me or
point out everything I have ever done wrong...~
Zell rolled over and looked at the ceiling.
~So why am I not tired?~
[Zell!]
~Wha?!?~
Zell shot up in bed. His room looked like the small house in Timber
they had stayed in after Seifer had attacked the president of
Galbadia. Squall was standing at the end of the bed, facing him.
Quistis and Selphie stood on the side, softly talking. Rinoa sat on
a chair, head in her hands.
"Squall?"
[How could you say we were from Garden?]
[You have endangered our whole mission Zell! Because of you, Galbadia,
Trabia, and Balamb Gardens can be in danger!] Selphie looked at him
with guilty eyes.
"I... I just wasn't thinking!"
[The problem is that as far as I've seen, you never think! If you
had only just followed Squall. Maybe even Seifer would have been
alive...] Rinoa looked up, then back at her feet.
[I never should have let you take the SeeD exam. You aren't ready.
You'll never be ready.] Quistis shook her head at him.
"I didn't mean to! It was an accident. And Seifer lived Rinoa! It
wasn't my fault!" Zell picked up a pillow and threw it at the figures.
They disappeared into thin air, but the pillow remained in a lump
on the floor.
[Zell...]
"Who's there! Just leave me alone!" Zell turned to his left, to see
what was going on. Selphie stood their, crying, trying to wipe away
the tears with her hands.
"Selphie?"
[How could you? If... if you hadn't said we were from Garden,
Trabia it... it would have been okay! Everything would have been
alright!]
"Selphie... I..." Zell reached for the ghost, to try and comfort
her. It faded at his touch.
[Zell.]
He saw a hand appear on his shoulder. It was the hand of one of the
people he trusted most, who had backed him up so many times.
"Quistis?"
[If only you had finished the job at the Desert Prison. You tried to
kill yourself there. Die the noble way. A way that would have made
your family and friends proud. But you failed. You were brought back
up. Save your friends by staying behind. Oh but you couldn't stay
behind.]
"I thought I could help them. And I made it, and you all seemed so
happy and glad that I was there and able to help. So happy when
we all got out."
[Yeah, you were able to help. What have you done?] Quistis floated
away.
[Chicken Wuss. Always swatting flies. Never getting anything done.
Well, you're finally getting things done. Or are you gonna chicken
outta this too? You gonna dial up the infirmary and chicken out?]
"I'm not a chicken!" Zell screamed at the top of his lungs. Seifer's
apparition laughed. "I can do this."
[Be a man? You're not your grandfather.]
"Stop saying that!"
[Its true. You're not him and you'll never be him.] Seifer faded
away.
"I tried to be him... I tried... but I couldn't. It was so hard."
[You let us down.]
"Squall. Make all this stop!"
[You never could handle anything. Even when we left you behind when
Quistis, Rinoa, and I went to the Lunar Base. If Edea hadn't pleaded
on your behalf, I would have left Quistis in charge.]
"I could handle it. I never got a chance."
[Like Seifer says, you're a Chicken Wuss.]
:::BANG BANG BANG:::
"Zell? You okay? We heard screaming."
"Squall?" Zell looked confused from the aparition to the door.
[You couldn't even stop Lunatic Pandora when you had the chance.]
"It wasn't my fault."
[Pretty conveniant excuse.] Rinoa appeared by Squall.
"Zell? Please open up. Are you alright?" Rinoa called from behind
the door."
[All these excuses Zell. Squall and I don't have time for it. We're
leaving.] Rinoa and Squall faded away.
"Don't leave me!" Zell cried out to the ghosts. Irvine and Selphie
appeared.
[We have each other too. Always a third wheel.]
[Like I'd ever go out with someone like you Zell. C-ya!]
Quistis showed up. [You were always the worst student I ever had.]
Seifer appeared with the DC as she left. [I have better places to be.]
Then, they were all gone.
"Zell? ZELL!" Selphie pounded on the door.
[You were never a good son. Always caused troubles. I sent you to
Garden to get rid of you.]
"Mom..." He reached for her, and she faded at his touch.
Zell laid back. He turned his head and saw his Grandfather next to
him.
"Grandpa?"
[You're weak. I expected more of you. Now look at yourself.]
"I tried to make you proud."
[You failed. Like always. I'm ashamed to be your grandfather.]
"Don't say that!"
"ZELL! IF YOU CAN HEAR US, OPEN THIS DOOR!" Quistis was sobbing and
beating on the door.
"Where's Irvine with the Master Key?" Seifer asked.
[My daughter and her husband never should have adopted you.]
...silence...
The door burst open. Everyone ran in.
"Zell!" They all yelled at different times as they ran to the
pale figure on the bed.
They were too late.
======
[the end]
Kinda sad. Read Sergeant Phoenix's One Day at a Time series if you like
stories where Zell actually has depth and isn't just a happy clown.
It is sad though.