Nickname

Please don't call me by that embarrassing nickname. Er, okay, okay, you can call me that… just not in public, alright?

Somehow, I didn't expect things to go so far. I suppose it was kinda inevitable that he'd start seeing me as some sort of burgeoning replacement for that pain-in-the-ass friend of his, but it was still strange. I couldn't say I was opposed to the idea of us being friends; we liked a lot of the same things, and he was a nice, easy-to-get-along-with, guy, but part of me was certain that this was all a passing phase and once Kusatsu finally stopped sulking, he wouldn't need me anymore.

I was fine with that. Honestly, I think I would have put in more effort into cheering him up if I thought it was something permanent. But as it were, I felt guilty. I wasn't really sure what was going on or what my role in it was supposed to be, but I wasn't stupid. I could feel Kusatsu glaring at me when he thought I wasn't looking. And I could tell that he was going to keep up that bothersome attitude until Kinugawa finally broke down in tears and begged on his knees for forgiveness (or something like that).

Kinugawa said he didn't want to pry, and that was that. I can't claim to know if he was really alright or just acting the part, but somehow I found myself wanting to keep him company. Since he wasn't close with anyone else in our class, and I just seemed to naturally annoy everyone else, maybe it was just natural for us loners would drift together like so.

First it was just chatting. Like I said, we had a lot in common so between classes (and occasionally during class) we'd just… talk. That was really it. What I liked about Kinugawa was that he was a good listener. I could be very opinionated about some things and monopolize the entire chat, but he didn't seem to mind at all. And he wasn't one of those guys who just listened to be polite either; I could tell he was really paying attention as well.

So then it graduated to hanging out after school. Sometimes we'd go eat somewhere, sometimes we'd just walk around and talk for a bit, sometimes Kinugawa'd bring his handheld and we'd play video games on a park bench somewhere. Little things, really. It turned out we lived fairly close to each other as well so we would walk most of the way home together as well. I suppose that's something close friends did? (Looking back, I'd tell myself, "Duh!")

But still, I never really noticed just how close we'd gotten, until he invited me over to his house. Oh yeah, about his house: it's huge! Considering the guy was best friends with Kusatsu, who practically paraded his wealth, this really shouldn't have surprised me one bit, but honestly, I never pegged Kinugawa for a rich kid. Too humble. (And I did tell him that, only for him to get embarrassed and quietly deny it.)

Anyway, the week before, we'd gotten to debating (or rather mocking) different trends in horror films, and then one thing led to another and we wound up agreeing to a horror movie marathon. Kinugawa then mentioned having a big screen TV and suggested we watch at his house. I had no objections. (What he didn't mention though was that said big screen TV was in his room. Or that his room was literally every middle schooler's dream come true.)

Funny thing about Kinugawa: he had no trouble talking about them and making fun of them, but when it came to actually watching horror films… every time something even moderately scary happened on screen, I could feel him jolt beside me, and during the worst scenes he would lightly tug at my sleeve and wince. It made it difficult for me to laugh at the absurdities on the TV. I didn't want him to think I was making fun of him.

"You know, we didn't have to watch that, if it scares you that badly," I said as the credits of the first film began rolling. I did offer to stop the film at several points, but he refused.

"It's fine," he insisted with a nervous laugh, "Besides you hadn't seen that one before, right?"

"I'd have lived," I shrugged, "Seriously, you don't need to reach for the next one. I'm not trying to torture you here." Kinugawa just smiled.

"No really, it's fine. I wanted to watch these too," he said, "Still, thanks for not laughing at me. I could see you really wanted to."

"Er, no I wanted to laugh at the movie," I scratched the back of my head nervously, "When I said horror movies are dumb and over-the-top, I meant it. I find them more hilarious than anything. Damn, I held off laughing so you wouldn't think I was mocking you, and you wound up doing that anyway. Sorry, Kinugawa."

He just smiled. "You really are a nice guy, aren't you?"

I felt my face grow hot. "Just put in the next film, already."

"Right away, En-chan," I think he only said it in the excitement of the moment, but as soon as the words left his mouth and dawned on both of us, we froze.

"En…chan," I repeated slowly, feeling my eye twitch slightly. It wasn't that unbelievable that we'd move on to first names eventually, but seriously? En-chan?

"I'm sorry!" Kinugawa squeaked, "It just slipped out. Um, Yufuin-san?" And now he was being extra polite? I guess maybe my face was really scary of something, because he looked seriously terrified of what I'd do to him. I took a deep breath, hoping it would make me look neutral again.

"If you want to call me by my first name, it's fine," I assured him, "But please, pick a different honorific. En-san, En-kun," I smirked, "En-sama is also perfectly acceptable. Though I guess no honorific is cool too."

He considered it for a moment and then in a somewhat pouty tone muttered, "En-chan sounds cuter though."

"And that's exactly why we're not using it!" I retorted, "Sorry but it's kinda embarrassing to be called that at this age." Not to mention, "chan" was usually attached to girls' names.

I didn't think I said anything rude but that just made his shoulder's slump. "Y-yeah, you're right. I guess we're too old for something like that." I think he wanted me to drop the topic, for he grabbed the next DVD from the stack and moved to put it in the case. While his back was turned though, I suddenly remembered something.

"Come to think of it, you call that guy "Kin-chan" don't you?" I asked. I never questioned it, but thinking about it now Kusatsu didn't look like that type who'd like being called "chan".

"Yeah, but we were much younger when I started calling him that," Kinugawa explained calmly, "Actually my sister always called him that so it kinda rubbed off. He didn't seem to mind it though, so I just got used to it."

"Hmm…" Even though I'd brought it up, to be honest, I didn't really want to hear about Kusatsu. Of course, if Kinugawa wanted to talk about him, I'd listen, but if it was possible to steer the topic away, I would much rather do that. Still that nickname… how could I say it? It seemed very like Kinugawa to use such cutesy names.

"About "En-chan"," I said, knowing full well that I'd regret it later, "I suppose it does sorta have a nice ring to it. I mean, I don't really hate it or anything."

Seeing his eyes light up made me backpedal though. "Er, no, I mean, if you want to use it when it's just us, I guess I don't really mind. Just not in public." I was not going to budge on that point.

"Thank you, En-chan!" Was he… sparkling? "I might slip up in school though, so I really do apologize in advance." That guy… he was already planning to use it in public, I could feel it. Was there a gentle way of telling him that people would absolutely get the wrong idea from it? Probably not and I didn't feel like bringing it up. This was seriously a pain.

"Just do as you will," I sighed, conceding defeat, "Am I supposed to keep calling you Kinugawa or…?"

"You can use my first name," he said brightly, "Kin-chan used to call me "At-chan" if you want to use that." So not only was I was being saddled with a cute nickname but I would also need to use one… At-chan. No, just saying it in my head was embarrassing. And using the same nickname as Kusatsu left a bad taste in my mouth.

"Sorry, but no," I told him, "I don't do cute nicknames. You're stuck with Atsushi."

"Aww, that's boring."

"I'm a boring guy."

"Yeah, guess so," he quipped and, having finally put the DVD in, returned to the couch beside me. Looking at him, I couldn't help but think of how his overly happy smile would disappear as soon as the movie started. Really, what a troublesome guy.

Oh well, seeing him so happy felt really good though. I couldn't help but smile as well. If we'd reached the point of using our first names, I guess it meant we've leveled up from classmates to friends.

It had been a couple of months since he stopped hanging out with Kusatsu and started talking with me. At that time I still thought there was a good chance those two would make up and Atsushi wouldn't want to be around me anymore. But at that moment, as we sat there watching horror movies together (with Atsushi pitifully trying his hardest not to keep clinging to me), I selfishly hoped we could someday call ourselves "best friends".

A/N: Thanks for reading. I hoped you liked it. :)

So Episode 11... well it totally ruined the plans I had for another fic (and I'm so torn about posting it now x.x), but all in all I did like how the big falling out was actually over something very petty. It's a really relatable way to lose a friend (for me anyway) and it nicely reaffirms something we've always known: En-chan is the greatest friend ever.

I've wanted to write a story about his nickname ever since the first scene of the first episode. Considering the kind of guy Yufuin En is, there's just something really funny about him having such a cute nickname. And I mean that in the best possible way :D

So, um, yeah. Thanks for reading and I'd really appreciate any feedback :)

(Also, Thank you Misstressofcliche for catching my errors :))