Hey, The Jonny T Factor here with yet another story. It's been awhile since I've wrote a story that wasn't a crossover. I thought that maybe Batgirl would get herself in some big trouble and would have to try and get herself out. There will be singing. You have been warn. Hope you enjoy.
I do not own any of the characters of Batman. I also do not own any of the songs in the story.
Barbara Gorden stands at the top of a building, looking down into the dark streets of Gotham. Her tight Batgirl suit hugs her body.
"Man, this is so boring." Barbara sighs, "This is the third night this week that nothing has happened. Did all the criminals just take a vacation or something." She leaps down from the building. "Well, I'm done for the night." she says to herself, "I don't what Bruce says, I'm done." She makes her way into an alley, moving behind a dumpster. She pulls a dufflebag out from behind it and unzips it. "Good thing I came prepared this time." she thinks to herself. She removes her suit and dresses herself in her night clothes. She places her suit in the bag and zips it up. She stumble out of the alley, wearing a black tank top, a white short skirt, and black high heels. She walks down the sidewalk. "Maybe I could stop at that new club I heard about." she thinks, "What dad doesn't know won't hurt him." She walks for a few minutes until she reaches a large line outside of a large building. There was a glowing sign that read "Club Nialliv". Most of the people in line seemed upset.
"Oh, come on, man!" a man yells at the bouncer, "You've gotta let us in!"
"Sorry, pal, no one gets in with out an ID." the bouncer informs. Barbara moves though the line to the front.
"I have an ID." Barbara says. She hands the bouncer her ID. He studies it for a few seconds then hands it back to her.
"Not the right kind of ID." the bouncer says, "This is a private club." Just then, a man in a trench coat and hat pushes his way through the crowd. He holds up a ID that was around his neck. The bouncer looks at the ID, then opens the door. "Go on in." he informs. The man goes into the club. The bouncer closes the door and turns back to Barbara. "You want in, you need an ID." he repeats.
"Fine." Barbara sighs, then turns away. As she walks away from the building a wicked grinn comes over her face. "I'll get an ID." she thinks to herself, "It's a good thing I got a good view of that guy's."
A few minutes later, Barbara sat at a computer at Gotham's library. After a few minutes, she had the perfect ID made up. She holds up the ID.
"A perfect match." Barbara says to herself, "Even this will fool the bouncer. Man, I even amaze myself sometimes. Though, I should wear something so he won't remember me." Barbara strolls over to a window in the library. The sight of a small costume shop catches her eye. "Bingo!" she states. A few minutes pass, as Barbara exits the costume shop. She was now sporting a black wig, sunglasses, and a trench coat. "This place better be worth the twenty bucks I spent." she says. A few blocks later, Barbara finds herself back at the club. She makes her way through the line to the bouncer, who was still guarding the front door.
"ID?" the bouncer questions.
"Just stay calm and give him the ID, then you're in." Barbara thinks to herself. She pulls the fake ID and shows it to the bouncer. He studies it for a few seconds. The seconds seemed like minutes for Barbara. "Oh god, please tell me he doesn't know!" she thinks.
"Right this way, miss." the bouncer says, opening the door for her.
"Oh, thank god!" Barbara sighs in her head. She makes her way into the club. There was a lot of smoke and loud noises, mainly of people talking. The place looked like a casino, with black jack tables and poker games everywhere she looked. There was a small stage in the back of the club. And everyone was wearing trench coats. "Good call Barbara." she thinks to herself, "Now I'll blend right in." She sees a bar counter out of the corner of her eye. "Oh, what's one drink gonna hurt." she says, strolling over to the counter and sits down. "I'll take a Bloody Mary." she orders. The bartender nods and begins to make the drink. Just then, a woman in a trench coat with blond hair sits down next to her. Barbara begins to take a ten dollar bill out of her purse. The other woman notices.
"Oh, honey, you don't have to do that." the other woman informs in a high pitch sounding voice, "All the drinks here are on the house." Barbara looks at her surprised.
"Wow, this is a pretty cool club!" Barbara states.
"You must be new here." the woman says, "But don't worry, everyone here just wants to have a good time, win a little dough, and drink. Oh, but the best part is the entertainment." The bartender sits Barbara's drink in front of her. The woman looks over at a clock on the wall. "Speaking of entertainment." she says, pulling a megophone and a makeup kit from her purse. She turns to view the rest of the club. "Alright, everybody, the coast is clear!" the woman informs through the megaphone, "Boys, lock the doors!" A group of bouncers lock all the exits of the bar.
"What's going on?" Barbara questions.
"Nothing, honey, we just don't want to be disturbed." the woman answers, as she starts putting makeup on her face.
"Oh, god, please tell me there's not going to be an orgy!" Barbara says.
"Ha, ha, no!" the woman laughs. Barbara looks around to see that people were taking off their coats. She herself decides to take off her coat and glasses. Barbara's eyes widen when she sees a criminal from her past sitting at a black jack table. It was the Riddler. She looks around some more, now seeing the Penguin. Then Poison Ivy, then Scarecrow, then Two-Face, then Killer Croc, Mad Hatter, Bane, Ventriloquist, Mr. Freeze, and more.
"Uh oh!" Barbara thinks to herself. She turns to see that the woman next to her was now wearing white makeup and a black mask. Barbara could now see she was sitting next to Harley Quinn. Harley sees that she is a little afraid.
"What's the matter?" Harley questions, "Ya look like you saw a ghost."
"Uh... nothing, I just... didn't know we were wearing our costumes." Barbara lies.
"Huh, I guess you didn't read the fine print." Harley replies, as she puts her hat on, "Don't worry, at least you'll know to wear it next time."
"Yeah." Barbara replies. She takes a slow sip of her drink. "If there is a next time!" she thinks.
"Get ready, 'cause here comes my favorite part of the show!" Harley states. She stands up, then removes her coat, revealing her tight harlequin costume. She black flips onto a poker table, then to another one, this repeats until she reaches the stage. She grabs the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen... and whatever the hell the rest of you are!" she greets, "I'd like all of you to welcome the man of the hour! The man you all love! The man I love! The founder of Club Nialliv! Please welcome... The Joker!" Everyone begins to clap their hands. Barbara takes a huge gulp in fear. The curtains on the stage rise to reveal the Joker, along with a band standing behind him. A spot light shines down of him. He smiles, then catches the mic that Harley throws at him. The band starts to play.
"Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed.
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...
Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed.
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...
When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes
Ah-whoa-oh,
Everything goes according to plan."
Joker jumps off the stage and into the crowded club.
"I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it!
Because you say so under your breath!
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better, and you can't stand it!"
Joker dances around in the club. Barbara tries to get up, but is caught from behind by the Joker.
"Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and..."
Joker pushes her towards the ladies room.
"I bet you just can't keep up with,"
"Keep up!" sings the crowd of people
"With these fashionistas, and
Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign.
I bet to them your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh..."
Before they reach the ladies room, Joker turns and pushes Barbara up onto the stage, then he follow. Barbara couldn't believe this was happening. Barbara turns, only to be cut off by Harley Quinn, who was holding up a mirror.
"Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears!
And keep telling yourself that
I'M A DIVA!"
Joker looks out into the crowd.
"Oh and the smokes in those cigarette boxes on the tables,
they just so happen to be
Laced
With
Nitroglycerin!"
"This is really getting nuts!" Barbara thinks to herself.
"I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it!
Because you say so under your breath!
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better, and you can't stand it!"
(Instrumental)
Joker grabs Harley and begins to dance with her. The only thing that was going through Barbara's head was that she had to get out of this mess. She looked for any escape rout she could find. It was difficult to think with all the eyes of the villains watching her. All of a sudden, she was pulled into a dance with Harley. Barbara quickly adjusted and started to dance with her. "What am I doing?" she questions herself, "I'm dancing in front of a room full of people who would like nothing more than to kill me!" Harley twirls Barbara, who went from seeing Harley, then the rest of the club, then to looking down the barrel of a gun. Barbara froze in utter fear.
"Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it."
Barbara looks into Joker's yellowish eyes, looking like he had no problem with pulling the trigger. He wore that evil red smile on his face as he continues to sing.
"Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it."
Joker pulls the trigger of the gun, Barbara closes her eyes as she hears the bang. But she felt nothing. The band had stop playing. She opens her eyes to see a "BANG" banner hanging from the barrel.
"AAAAAAHHHH, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAAAA!" the Joker laughs. He tosses the gun behind himself and signals the band. The band starts playing again.
"And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up!
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch!
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up!
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch!"
The band starts to quiet down.
"And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike THE PUNCH!"
The whole club claps for the Joker. Barbara was still frozen on stage.
"Thank you, thank you!" Joker says, "You're too kind! And how about a round of applause for this lovely young lady up here!" Everyone starts to clap for Barbara. "She almost had a heart attack so I think she deserves it!" he says, "Though, if couldn't give people heart attacks then I'd might be in the circus today, HAAAA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAA! Now, Harls, would you mind helping her back to her seat?"
"No problem, Mistah J!" Harley replies. Harley takes Barbara by the hand and leads her off the stage. "Ya did pretty good, kid." Harley informs, "Maybe a little work and you could be up there every night."
"No thank you!" Barbara replies, sitting down at the bar.
"Oh, and I'm sorry that Harley messed up in the introduction." Joker informs, "The name of the club is not "Club Nialliv". It's..." He pulls a remote from his pocket and pushes a button. A sign appears above the stage. "Club Villain!" Joker announces, "I know it's not that much, but the guys in marketing were out that day. But you, just because the name's not the best doesn't mean we can't still have a good time! So, eat, drink, and be merry! For tomorrow, we come up with newer scemes to hunt down the Bat! HAAAAAAAA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAA!"
"Oh, this is going to be a long night." Barbara moans.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Once, I do not own There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered, Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet. (DEEP BREATHE) That was a mouth full! Panic! At The Disco owns the song. Please Review. Thanks.