He made her want to scream out at the top of her lungs. He made her angry. He made her wish for a drink before she'd even gotten out of bed. Nate made her feel a lot things. He made her want to do a lot of things. But there was a single something he had no control over (and truth be told neither did she).
Because in the grand scheme of it all, Nate hadn't made Sophie fall in love with him. It had just happened. Slowly at first and then in the blink of an eye there was no turning back. Even now, ten years after she first caught of a glimpse of him in Prague, she was still falling for him. Still loving him despite how much she wanted to strangle him sometimes.
And she knew he loved her too, despite his reservations. Because no matter much they stayed at odds with one another, Sophie knew that Nate cared. That if it came down to it he'd do anything to protect her. That he would do anything for her if she asked it of him.
So now and again she wondered if he'd had any idea of what lay down the road for them when he'd chased her through the streets of Prague or when he'd caught up to her in Damascus two years later and she'd introduced herself. It was impossible, really, for him to know where they would be eight years down the road but it didn't stop her from pondering the idea. Because Nate was the kind of guy that just knew things, that saw something where others could not or would not.
But Sophie knew in her heart of hearts that if he'd had the foresight to predict this, a future in which his marriage had crumbled and his beautiful son was gone, that he would have done something to prevent it.
Anything, honestly.
Because he loved her, she had no doubt about that. But there was a part of him that still loved Maggie in his own way. That held on tightly to his son Sam as he always would.
So he drowned himself in a bottle and became angry. He became reckless with his own life (but never theirs, never hers). He pushed her away while simultaneously grasping her arm tight enough to bruise. He loved her and she loved him back and in their silence it grew and burned and consumed them whole.
Because the truth was that their relationship, as complicated as it may seem at times, was utterly simple at the core.
Nate made her want to scream, yes, but he also made her want to smile. To laugh. To bury her face in the crook of his neck while no one else was watching just to feel his warmth. He made her want to do a lot of crazy things, her Nate.
But he also made her want to live and that was the most important one.