Next Contestant, a bleach fanfic

Haven't done a fanfic for so long. Sorry about that. I've been on FP for too long. So this is my first Bleach fanfic. It's a songfic with the song Next Contestant by Nickelback.

UPDATE: Someone was nice enough to inform me that this was under Ichigo and Love rather than Ichigo and Orihime. SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION CAUSED

I don't own Bleach, Nickelback or Next Contestant.

I judge by what she's wearing
Just how many heads I'm tearing
Off of assholes coming on to her
Each night seems like it's getting worse

Kurosaki Ichigo was pissed. Very pissed. At every opportunity, some one was touching her breasts, making comments about them or just generally molesting her. And the most annoying thing was, all of the guys who harassed her, knew that she was his girlfriend. Anyone who didn't know this simple fact was oblivious or stupid, particularly as he'd so kindly marked her neck with a nice, big hickey to tell everyone that she was taken. And lately, it was getting worse, way worse. Even freaking hollows were staring at her.

And I wish she'd take the night off
So I don't have to fight off
Every asshole coming on to her
It happens every night she works

Every freaking fight they got into, everywhere they went, someone grabbed her. Ichigo gripped the glass tightly and looked at Orihime Inoue. She was being harassed again. The music from the party blasted loudly, echoing throughout Ichigo's brain. The past six fights, people and asked for her number. Even fucking souls had asked her out. Ichigo had immediately and violently performed the soul burial on each of these souls. He was highly tempted to ask Inoue to stop helping him fight. He was fed up of beating guys left, right and centre. His knuckles still hurt from beating the last one

They'll go and ask the DJ
Find out just what would she say
If they all tried coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work
They think they'll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try coming on to her
This time somebody's getting hurt

The glass dropped out of his hands and shattered all over the floor. His jaw dropped. His fucking DAD was trying to get Orihime to dance. What the hell. He clenched his fists, furious. Now he was offering her alcohol. DIDN'T HE KNOW ORIHIME WAS A MINOR. He growled quietly under his breath. Yuzu came up to him, berating him for breaking the glass before giving him another one. Karin, who had come with her, followed his line of sight.

'Don't mind him.' she snorted. 'Idiot.' Ichigo ignored her and strode over to where his father and Orihime were dancing. He kicked his father away from her and then returned to his spot. He would have spent more time with her but he didn't like dancing and Inoue did. So he left her to it.

Here comes the next contestant

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next contestant

Shinji, who'd always been rather overfriendly with Inoue sidled up to her and started talking to her. He was standing to close to her for Ichigo's liking. He placed his hand on her shoulder in that over familiar way of his. For a top Vaizard, it was strange that he didn't notice the crushing, murderous reiatsu directed at him. Ichigo was tempted to unleash the fury of his hollow but no, Yuzu would kill him. Not such a good idea. As it was, it appear that he was being saved the trouble. Chizuru used her Special Move: Chizuru Genocide to hurl Hirako into a wall.

I even fear the ladies
They're cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work

This, however, turned out to be not a blessing but a curse.

'So Orihime-chan, how about a cute smile?' She grabbed Orihime's face. Ichigo cursed under his breath. How long would it take Chizuru to realise that Orihime was NOT a lesbian. He answered his own question: Until the end of time.

Each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody's grabbing her ass
Everyone keeps coming on to her
This time somebody's getting hurt

Here comes the next contestant

'Move it, woman.' Ichigo's jaw dropped in dismay. Grimmjow was asking out his girlfriend. He snarled. FUCKING HOLLOW. Grimmjow was the reason for this party. The shinigami had thrown it when he joined their side. It turned out that he was not dead, seriously injured, but not dead. Orihime had healed him and he'd joined their side shortly after. Unfortunately, he ex-Espada now had developed an attachment to her. And it pissed Ichigo off to no end. Grimmjow leaned in and whispered something in her ear and with that, Ichigo snapped.

'DIE!' He bellowed, unleashing Zangetsu. 'Bankai. Tensa Zangetsu.' There was no messing around. Ichigo had had it. Grimmjow responded with equal violence.

'Grind, Pantera!' He growled, exposing his released form. The two fought ferociously, paying no attention to the cries of the other's around them.

Eventually, the two managed to destroy the building, scattering the people. Ichigo sheathed Zangetsu, satisfied that he had knocked out Grimmjow. He suddenly became aware of all the carnage he'd created. SHIT

I'm hating what she's wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve
This time somebody's getting hurt

Here comes the next contestant

'INOUE! INOUE!' A voice that was definitely not his called. 'Are you alright.'

'Yes. I'm fine, Ishida-kun.' Inoue replied. Now ISHIDA was betraying him. Who next? Chad? Urahara? Kenpachi? And why was she wearing such an exposing outfit. Her breasts were hanging out, goddamnit. Why did everyone hit on his girlfriend. What's more, why did she let them?

As for that Ulquiorra bastard, forget it. With his kidnapping speech, the guy thought he could get into his girlfriend's pants. When he finally tried it on with Orihime, Ichigo had beaten him. Badly. It was a one sided battle. Tensa Zangetsu had been stained completely red that day. Ulquiorra hadn't even been identifiable.

I wish you'd do it again
Each night seems like it's getting worse
I wish you'd do it again
This time somebody's getting hurt

There goes the next contestant

But despite Ichigo worries, Orihime thanked Ishida for his worries and pushed him gently away. She hurried to Ichigo, kissed him and gave him a hug.

'Ichi, you know I love you, right?' Ichigo looked down at her, leaning against him, eyes closed. How could I ever have doubted her.

'Yeah. I love you too, Orihime.' Orihime looked around at the destruction caused, all over her.

'I can see that.' They ambled away from the rubbish pile, fingers interlocked.