This is set midway through the 1st half of season three (as it was also written then). I started Grad school (why did someone not warn me that it would be so time consuming?!) (; I'm just getting around to posting this after finding it and revising. After such a long time away from the show, interest kind of fell off (stupid SciFi). Could be fleshed out, but that could take another year if I really go at it so... (what 6000 words isn't long enough?)
Warnings: J/T underlying, don't be thrown by the title nothing kinky here; no beta; characters and concept are not mine, I'm just borrowing. reviews are nice (hint, hint), but I live for the hits too. enjoy- s
"Bonding"
This was why she did not drink the imported stuff. It had a strange effect on her, and she needed to keep a clear head. She had duties and responsibilities that should not be ignored. Right now she felt like she could shirk every one of them and not give a damn. Now for instance, she should be moving around the room, speaking with others, but she'd hardly moved all night.
She found herself giggling easily at something Laura was saying, but she didn't understand half of it. And she didn't really care. This was a night of relaxation and celebration.
"Are you alright sweetie?" Katie Brown's soft voice floated into her ears.
"Yes, I'm fine. Maybe a little warm. Are you warm?"
"That would be the alcohol, hon." Laura Cadman couldn't help but laugh at her friend.
"Or the delectable Corsicon men." All three women looked surprisingly at Kate Heightmeyer. "What? Look at them wearing those tight leather pants and tank tops. Kinda reminds of Ronon, only with less hair. Tell me you haven't been thinking the same thing, Katie?" The botanist had the sense of mind to look shocked before smiling slightly, ducking her head too late to hide it. "Ha, I told you."
"Maybe she's too busy checking out one of Atlantis' very own. McKay actually looks relaxed, well as relaxed as McKay can get." Laura linked her arm with Katie's as she turned them to the notoriously wound up scientist. "Maybe tonight he'll ask you on a long-awaited second date." Katie glared at her friend before sighing deeply and laughing lightly.
"As long as it's nothing like the first, well except for that kiss." The blond lieutenant laughed slightly louder than the other women.
Teyla Emmagan had never had this before. Of course there had been laughter and celebration, but never with other women near her own age. There had always been other duties and responsibilities. Here, she could let her guard down a little and lose herself in these moments. And for the Athosian leader, that was a dangerous thing.
The four women had hardly moved since gathering near the balcony doors more than two hours ago. They knew others in the room were watching, listening, and wondering. How could four very different women from four very different backgrounds, who would have never come together outside Atlantis, suddenly act like longtime friends? Atlantis had a way of bringing people together. Constant impending doom did that to some. Then again, so did parties, half-naked men, and alcohol.
There was a lightness to her that he hadn't seen in months. She never let herself be this loose. He could see it in her whole body. Not only was she smiling outright, there was a childlike manner to her now. He couldn't stop the smile that slowly spread across his own face. They should throw these shindigs more often.
"Wonder what they're laughing about," the crumbs of cake falling out of Rodney McKay's mouth nearly distracted John Sheppard from the actual sentence.
"Probably your manners. Dear God, Rodney, would it be so difficult to bloody chew first?"
"I am chewing, Carson," John watched with mild disgust as crumbs flew from McKay's mouth to Carson's shirt. "Sorry. My manners are beyond reproach." Beckett and Sheppard looked incredulously at Rodney.
"More like beyond repair." Sheppard laughed at the two doctors, but soon tuned out the rest of their "discussion" as he refocused his attention toward the small group of women across the room. Well, on one in particular.
It was strange to see Teyla in the middle of the "Sewing Circle" as they had come to be known. Though from what John had heard, there was absolutely no sewing involved. Movies, tea, coffee, and some alcohol; late night chats, and poker, sure. He was glad to see the Athosian and even Elizabeth (to an extent) enjoying the distractions the Circle offered. John watched with amusement as their current method of distraction came in the form of a tall, well-built Corsicon.
"Carson, you may need to keep an eye on your girl tonight." Sheppard motioned toward the women who were most likely debating the benefits of leather pants and tight-fitting sleeveless shirts.
"My what?" Catching an eyeful, the doctor merely shook his head. "Oh, yes, well umm, she's just, well I mean she…"
"Doc, ya got nothing to worry about. Women like to look. As long as you keep her satisfied, you'll be fine." The comment from the Satedan had Beckett sputtering even more.
"Thank you Ronon, that image will now be forever burned in my mind. Ooh is that pie? That's not key lime is it?" Sheppard found himself again laughing at the antics of his friends.
As Ronon and Rodney left to attack the dessert table, John found his gaze drawn back to the doorway. Light eyes locked with dark as he took in the one-sided smile and slightly- hooded gaze his teammate was gracing him with. John felt a little shiver run through his lithe body. Did she just…? Nah. He shook himself clear of the thoughts that tempted his crowded mind.
"Colonel, are you alright?" The brogue barely touched the edge of his foggy head, but it was enough.
"Huh?" John had nearly forgotten about Beckett. "No, yeah, no I'm fine. Thinking too much maybe, but otherwise, it's all good." Beckett didn't seem convinced, but let him go anyway. It had after all been a longer that usual week.
"They do appear to be enjoying themselves don't they?"
"Ronon's right, Carson. I don't think you have anything to worry about where Cadman's concerned. Besides, if she does find more than her eyes wandering, I'll assign her to McKay as punishment."
"I don't think that will be necessary, Colonel. But thank you anyway." Carson chuckled quietly as the object of their discussion winked and wagged her eyebrows at him without a hint of self consciousness. Sheppard watched Beckett with a little bit of envy. Amid the chaos and uncertainty that regularly appeared in the Pegasus Galaxy, the doc had found something to smile about.
"Well then, good for you, Carson. Hey, should Teyla be drinking that stuff?"
"She's finished the antibiotics so medically speaking it's safe. Besides, I think she'd due a little release. I've had my eye on her, and I believe Ronon has also been checking in with her. John, the lass is stronger than many of the men I've treated."
"Stupid chicken pox." He cursed the childhood disease that nearly killed the Athosian.
"Yes they are."
"So, we have the schedule for the harvest and we'll send a group of our people to your planet in four days to coordinate things." Elizabeth Weir appeared behind them with Galen Roos, an elder of the Corsicon people.
"You have shown more generosity than we could have hoped for," He smiled at the Colonel and the Doctor, including them in his thanks. "But I should not be surprised. Teyla has spoken highly of you. For her to garnish such respect on ones not long known among these stars, says much about you. The Athosians have long been friends to my people, and I am confidant we will say the same of the new Lanteans."
John liked Galen, and was relieved that they could finally let one of their "allies" through the Gate without worrying about an ulterior motive. Since stepping through the gate to "New Corsico" more than four months ago, Atlantis had found a strong ally and Teyla had rekindled friendships long lost in the shuffle to escape the Wraith.
"You sure you have to go back tonight? We have plenty of room."
"No thank you John Sheppard. I believe that if we stay any longer, we will have difficulty leaving in the morning. We have Harvest at weeks end and much to prepare for. Do not worry, when the Harvest is complete we will show you how we celebrate on Corsico," The robust leader clapped John on the shoulder so hard he nearly toppled him. "I will say good night to Teyla now."
"Are you alright, John," Elizabeth brought a hand to her face in order to hide her smile. His exaggeratedly whispered "oww" only goaded Carson and Elizabeth into more laughter. "Well, since you're ok, you can make sure Galen and his people get home safely."
"Sure Mom," Avoiding the glare from Elizabeth, John looked around for Ronon. If he had to go, so would the big guy. Besides, he was pretty sure the Satedan had his eye on a certain young lady they'd be escorting home. "You know when we go to this Corsicon party, someone else gets to be the designated driver." As the Colonel walked away, he threw a cheeky grin over his shoulder in response to Elizabeth's muttered "smart ass."
More than two hours later, John Sheppard returned to the "Party Room." He found a few off-duty personnel still lingering about, catching up with each other and the few Athosians who had rooms on Atlantis. Five hours after it started, the party was definitely over. Atlantis threw one hell of a fiesta when it wasn't being threatened with death and destruction.
He made his way out to the balcony overlooking the city. The first time he had been out here was a haze. The city had just been raised and they were celebrating with their first real allies of Pegasus, the Athosians. He wasn't much into celebrating that night. Tonight was a different story.
His life had changed more than he thought possible in the last two years. John leaned against the railing, taking in the cool air and clear sky. Lights from the various rooms and spires glittered off the dark water below. Every time he came out here, he felt his breath hitch slightly. Yeah, it was still awe-inspiring. The whole scene was like something out a sci-fi movie and he couldn't imagine his life without it.
A deep belly laugh broke his reflection. He turned to see Laura Cadman pitching something over the railing.
"You know, Atlantis has a fine for littering," she at least looked slightly sheepish, until he continued, "twenty hours as McKay's assistant."
"That's not a fine, sir, it's a death sentence." She made her way over to her superior, laughing lightly at his gentle teasing. He had grown fond of the young lieutenant since the "Dart debacle." Anyone who could be that close to McKay for three days straight without imploding earned his instant respect.
"What are you doing anyway?" John pointed to the objects in her hand. He was pretty sure the Marine had been tossing whatever it was she currently had concealed in her hand. When she didn't answer, he prodded lightly, "Lt., are you doing something you shouldn't be? And should I be worried?"
"Just hanging out with a friend, sir." He followed her eyes to the far part of the balcony.
Sheppard knew the figure standing there. Arms on the railing, eyes toward the sky, long hair waving with the light breeze. There was no mistake. Teyla. There was also no mistaking that there was something out of place. She looked different now. Serene, yet with a sadness he instantly felt radiating through the air.
He didn't understand it. The last few days had been going well for Teyla, so he thought. She had finally been released from the infirmary, and had been reunited with what was left of her grandmother's people, thanks to Galen. She should be celebrating twice over. Unless…
"What happened. Is she sick?" His focus was solely on the brunette as he addressed the Lt. to his left.
"No, she's holding her own. I know something happened. She hasn't said exactly, but I think it's got something to do with Marna. She came in looking for Teyla, all excited about something. They headed out here, and twenty minutes later Marna practically flies out of here. Miss Emmagen has been there ever since. Staring. In that creepy, introspective, meditating way she has about her."
"Creepy?" Not exactly a word he would use to describe the Athosian.
"Don't give me that look, sir. Teyla's been one of my closest friends here. Anything I can do to help her, I will." He had seen Laura Cadman's loyalty and devotion on more than one occasion. He'd unfortunately also witnessed her wrath. Yeah, Sheppard was glad she was on their side.
"Aren't you on duty tomorrow afternoon, Lt.? Why don't you go get some sleep."
"Thank you sir. Let her know if she needs me, to come find me." At his nod, Laura turned and walked inside. There was no one left but him. And Teyla. A quiet, sad Teyla. Oh crap.
This was one of the most beautiful nights in recent memory, but Teyla paid no mind. Her thoughts wandering as far from Atlantis as possible: Earth. Although it was not real, her "trip" to Earth courtesy of the Mist on M5S-224, gave her a glimpse into a world she could never experience firsthand. Colonel Sheppard often mentioned things he would show her when she finally made it there; things she hoped she would never see. Things she feared more than the Wraith.
She suddenly felt exhausted. Slowly lowering herself to the floor, her usually graceful body betrayed her, and she felt herself falling. Hands, strong and warm, were on her body. One wrapped around her upper arm while another gently cradled her lower back. John.
He was not even five feet from her when she began the ill-fated descent. Reaching her in long, quick strides, he wrapped his hands around her most accessible body parts hoping to stop her fall. John placed her on the ground as gently as possible then slowly let his arms fall free. Standing straight, he towered over her and watched as she tilted her head completely back before folding her legs in front of her. John smiled down at her as she peered up at him with doe eyes. Sinking down beside her, those eyes followed him curiously before she let loose a smile of her own.
"Thank you, Colonel. I seem to be less than steady on my feet at the moment. "
"Hmm, wonder why." He glanced sideways at her in time to see the raised-eyebrow glare she threw at him.
"What are you implying, Colonel Sheppard?" Rank and last name. Oh no.
"Not a thing." No fooling her. The glare was still there. "You girls had fun tonight, huh?"
"Yes it was a most enjoyable evening."
"Must have been nice having Galen here, you know, with your people." Perfect. Bye-bye- glare.
"I am glad Galen could join us in our celebration. I hope it will be the first of many gatherings between our people."
"It will be. So, I heard Marna was here earlier," when Teyla's head fell forward on the rung, John knew he'd found his answer. "Teyla, what happened?"
"I do not wish to discuss it, John."
"Telya…"
"Colonel, please, not tonight." She was pleading with him. Whatever had happened was not open for discussion, at least not now.
"Alright, not now. So why don't we get you to bed." That conjured up too many images which were thankfully squashed by Teyla's amused look.
"You wish to take me to bed, John Sheppard?" Momentarily silenced by her reply, John tried to remind himself that this was Teyla, and she had been drinking. Apparently more than he realized. Look who she had been hanging out with anyway.
"You've been spending way too much time with Cadman." Again, his hands found their way around her arm. "Let's go. Time to sleep it off." He pulled her to her feet and held on as she got her bearings. Just as he was about to pull away, Teyla's small hands wrapped around his biceps before sliding up to his shoulders. John closed his eyes and leaned his head forward, preparing for the Athosian version of "aloha". It took more than two years, but he finally getting comfortable with the meeting of the foreheads.
But it never came. Instead her left hand moved across his shoulder, glided up his neck, and rested lightly on his cheek. He lifted his head and followed her with wide, curious eyes. Before he could speak, she dropped her hand back to his shoulder and leaned forward. John swallowed a sigh.
"Thank you John."
"Sure, no problem."
They separated with reluctance and after a long moment moved toward the already opening doors. Her soft touch stopped him again. Questioning green eyes met starry brown ones.
"Promise me something, John."
"Anything."
"You will never let me drink Earth liquor again." He laughed at her request. John found her low tolerance for "Earth liquor" amusing. He'd seen her down countless glasses of Pegasus moonshine, but for some reason she couldn't handle the processed stuff.
"If you promise me something." He waited for her agreement, then continued, "Whatever happened tonight between you and Marna, you'll work it out with her before she heads out with Lorne's team on Monday."
Teyla said nothing. A slight nod from her bowed head was her only reply. When she didn't move, John reached around her and placed his hand on the small of her back. With a light push, they were through the doors on the way to her quarters. John's hand never left the warmth of her bare lower back, and Teyla never protested the guidance of it.
It took all of fifteen minutes for the Athosian to settle in to bed and fall asleep. John waited until she was out before turning off the light. Still, he sat by her side, watching her sleep. The moonlight streamed through the window to the left of her bed bathing her in a soft blue light that gave her an ethereal quality. Her now peaceful features belied the pain and worry she felt just thirty minutes ago. What the hell happened tonight? Brushing the soft hair from her forehead, John took one last look then stood and left the warmth of her room.
Sheppard knew Lorne was on duty tonight. He also knew his 2IC would provide him with some much needed answers. Tapping his earpiece, he called the Major, "Lorne, come in. It's Sheppard."
"Everything all right sir?"
"Yeah, peachy. Got a few questions for you. What's your twenty?"
"I'm in the Control Room, sir, typing up some reports."
"Alright, I'll meet you there."
Sean Douglas had been with the expedition since day one. John liked the quiet archaeologist. They had talked sports, teased McKay, and avoided Earth together. Sean never said outright what made him stay in Atlantis for so long; no one to go home to most likely. It had something to do with a car accident that had left him in foster care as a teen. Douglas had a few friends on Earth, but had made better ones here in Pegasus. The only things I really miss, Sean had once said, were the Philadelphia Phillies and cheesesteaks. Then there was Marna.
Sean and Marna, a women Teyla likened to a sister, were getting bonded or married, he wasn't sure since her significant other was an Earth scientist. That much he learned from Lorne, who had taken on older brother like tendencies where Marna was concerned. The young Athosian had offered her assistance, much like Teyla and Halling, in the form of a guide to the Pegasus Galaxy. Teyla requested that she be assigned to Evan Lorne's team after the major personally promised to protect and watch over Marna when Teyla could not. In the process, he had become her confidant when her "older sister" was not available.
Douglas was one of the better guys on Atlantis; so what if he preferred baseball, John could forgive him for that. So, as the young man sat across from him in the mess begging him to talk to Teyla, John couldn't help but feel sorry for the kid.
"So you crazy kids wanna get hitched. What's the problem?" John Sheppard slowly peeled his orange as he eyed the young man across from him.
"Me, apparently." Sean Douglas pushed his curly brown hair away from his face before setting his head on the table.
"What? Teyla's always liked you."
"Not enough to marry Marna." The response was mumbled, but clear enough. John was silent, giving him the chance to continue. Sean leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh that made Sheppard regret getting out of bed that morning. "See, Marna said yes, but if Teyla doesn't consent to the marriage, it doesn't happen. Well it could happen, but not without Marna being shunned or something."
"The Athosians would really do that to her?"
"Well, not really. They stopped that generations ago, I asked Halling. But Marna's freaking out and if Teyla doesn't bless this union, it's not going to happen. I think it's more about Marna wanting Teyla to accept it than any of the other stuff. I don't know what to do. Teyla won't talk to either of us about it, Major Lorne either."
"And you want me to talk to her."
"Colonel, if she's gonna listen to anyone, it'll be you. Hell, if you can't get her to agree to the marriage then at least get her to talk to Marna. This is killing her. I don't like seeing her like this."
Ah crap, Sean was in love, no doubt. John winced as the kid's forehead clunked the table again. The boy was going to give himself a concussion. Hmm, maybe that would make him forget about the whole thing and John could get back to more important things, like his golf swing.
The halls were mostly empty as the Colonel weaved his way through the dimly lit corridors. Damned if they weren't getting back to what passed for normal around here. Now, something else to worry about. The last thing Atlantis needed was a rift between the two societies living there. Oh Christ, their very own Romeo and Juliet. So what went wrong. And why had it fallen to a Lt. Colonel in the US military to fix it? When the hell had he become Dr. Phil?
So he found himself in front of her door late that night, begging her to talk to him. For five minutes, he tried to coax her into opening the door; she was awake, he could see the light seeping through the slit at the floor. Great, so now she was ignoring him too. Or she could have fallen asleep with the light on and he had just become the asshole who woke her up. Idiot.
He spent the next two minutes apologizing to the still-closed door before Sgt Weinberg strolled by. With a slightly amused glint in his eye, the big Marine quietly told him Teyla was currently in the gym. So I just spent the last five minutes talking to a door. Smooth Sheppard, real smooth.
Her grace and poise in performing the kata belied the turmoil stirring within. She felt wretched for her reaction to Marna's news. She could have blamed the alcohol she'd consumed that night, but it had only loosened her tongue. Teyla knew that had she been in her clear mind, she would have tempered her feelings and not been so cruel.
It had been two days since Marna approached her with the idea of performing the bonding ceremony with Dr. Sean Douglas. Teyla held no anger or hatred toward the young scientist. She enjoyed his company and he and Marna were obviously quite taken with each other. In love, they said.
Had they come to her a few weeks ago, she would have given consent. Now, however, she had many doubts.
Her concentration was broken yet again by her wandering thoughts. She moved back to the center of the mat to begin the routine again.
"You should be on your fourth turn by now." Teyla's startled turn told John that she had not been aware of his presence.
"I can not seem to concentrate." She walked to the bench and took a long drink from her water bottle.
"Could it have anything to do with the two young lovebirds you've been avoiding?" At her questioning look, he continued, "Sean asked me to talk to you."
"You should not worry yourself with such trivial things, Colonel."
"Colonel? Oh, I get. I try to help and now I'm gonna get the cold shoulder too?"
She flashed him a glare as she picked up her bag and made for the door.
"Teyla, come on. What's the problem?"
"The problem, John, is that this does not concern you. Nor does it concern Major Lorne, Dr. Beckett, or Lt. Cadman. This is an Athosian matter and will be dealt with accordingly."
John took note of the detached way she referred to her friends and the fact that she had her back to him as she spoke.
"You made a promise to me, or don't you remember?"
"I remember. I will speak to Marna after I have spoken with the council."
"Teyla…"
"It is already quite late and I am leaving for the mainland after breakfast. I should get some rest. Good night, John."
"Night Teyla." She was out the door so quickly, Sheppard didn't think she even heard his reply.
Teyla felt no better after the few hours of sleep she managed to squeeze out of her shortened night. In fact, she felt worse if it was possible. She needed this trip to the mainland. She needed someone to talk to.
Under other circumstances that would be John, or Laura, or Carson. Since the lieutenant had given her heart to the doctor, her perception of love had become slightly biased. And Carson, well Carson was a pure romantic. Teyla believed John would have understood, until he came to her pleading for the young couple. Her people would understand her point of view. Truth be told, Teyla was reluctant to confess her fears to anyone because they didn't apply solely to Marna any longer.
The Athosian entered the jumper bay, calling out to Sgt. Davies. The young man was a member of Major Lorne's team and had been assigned to take her to the mainland. When the Marine did not answer, Teyla checked her watch. Nine-thirty seven. They had agreed to leave at 9:30 in jumper three. She was late. Where was he? Having no earpiece, she headed inside the jumper to use the comm device on the control panel.
When Teyla reached the cockpit, she found the pilot's seat already occupied, but not by Sgt. Davies.
"Colonel?"
"Welcome to Atlantis Air, I'll be your captain for this flight. If you'll buckle your safety belt we'll get ready for takeoff." He flashed her his most charming smile, to no avail.
"Where is Sgt. Davies?"
"He had a headache so I volunteered to fly you to the mainland, which is not going to happen if you don't take your seat." The bulkhead door closed behind her effectively cutting off any opportunity to escape.
"I am sure you have more important things to do then fly me to the mainland."
"Nah, not really. Besides I haven't been there in a few weeks, so I figured I'd pop in and say hi." There was the grin again. And again, nothing. "Ohh-kay. Control, this is the Mainland Express requesting permission to head out."
"You're a go Colonel."
"Alright. See you in a few hours."
During the thirty-minute ride to the settlement, John said nothing. He hummed a lot, but no actual words were said. And that smile. That damned smile kept crawling onto his face anytime she looked his way. It was starting to make her nervous and suspicious.
She had been looking through the front window for the last several minutes, not really paying attention to the scenery. But now, the pieces began to fall into place. John was definitely up to something.
"Should we not have reached the settlement by now?"
"We're taking a little detour." Teyla didn't look mad just resigned to the fact that she had been duped. "Don't look so worried, you'll be at the camp in plenty of time for your meeting."
"I am not worried, John. But you should be."
Shit. Why the hell did he put himself in these situations. This wasn't even about him yet he was putting his friendship with Teyla on the line for the sake of a wedding. John hated weddings.
"Well here we are." He set the jumper down in a small clearing that looked vaguely familiar to her. She turned back to him and waited.
"No don't give me that look."
"And what look would you like me to give you?" Not that one. Raised eyebrow, face set in stone, jaw clenched. No, not his favorite Teyla face.
John reached over the console and hit the door to raise the bulkhead door. Teyla did not understand what he was doing. Why fly her out here? Why all the secrecy in doing so? She received her answer in the form of the meek calling of her name. Marna, and right behind her stood Sean Douglas. Teyla stood, looking between the Colonel and her young friend.
"Is this what this detour was about? This is the reason for your deception?"
"O for the love of… you're acting like I'm handing you over to the Wraith." John stood, took Marna by the arm and led her to his now-vacated chair. "I don't know what the problem is, but you two ladies are going to sit here and work it out. I don't care if I have to lock you in here, you gotta fix this."
"I told you before, John this is none of your concern."
"It becomes my concern when it distracts you. We'll be outside." He left the jumper, dragging Sean with him.
Sheppard sat limply against a large tree fifty feet from where he landed the jumper. The kid was pacing in front of him. Had been for the last twenty minutes. Sean stole glances at the jumper. Walking closer to it at times to get a better look through the front window.
"They don't seem to be talking anymore. I think Marna's crying." He frantically looked to Sheppard. "I think Teyla made her cry again."
"Kid, I doubt Teyla would do that to the girl."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the girl in question came running out of the Jumper. John would bet anything that those weren't tears of happiness streaming down her pretty face. Sean gave the Colonel an 'I told you so' look over Marna's head, which was currently buried in his shoulder.
John pushed himself off the ground just as Teyla stepped off the ramp. She looked their way before quickly heading in the opposite direction. Ok, so Plan B tanked. On to Plan C, as soon as he figured out what that was of course.
Sean watched as the Colonel warred within himself. "I'm sorry, sir. I never should have asked you to do this. Now she's mad at you too."
Sheppard waved him off. "This little fiasco was my idea, remember? And stop calling me sir." Before the Philadelphian could reply, John was jogging to the jumper. Sean turned his attention to the woman in his arms.
"I'm so sorry." He stroked her hair short, dark hair pulling her tighter to him. "You know I love you, whether Teyla approves of this or not."
Marna watched him with adoring eyes. "The council will approve the joining. You have more than proven your worth and loyalty."
"I just wish Teyla felt that way."
"Teyla sees no fault in you. She is worried for us, but I am more worried for her."
"Why?"
"She has fought for us, our people. When others are scared, she is brave and strong. She left the security of our village to fight with your people against the Wraith. I do not believe all of the Athosians understood how courageous that was. She has given up so much for us and for herself."
Marna didn't have the chance to elaborate before Sheppard called out to them. Walking hand in hand to the jumper, the couple waited for him to speak.
"Plan C. Doc, you take the jumper to the settlement and Teyla and I will meet you there."
"Colonel, the settlements almost an hours walk from here."
John held up a small bag and two canteens. "Got it covered. Besides it's a beautiful day for a walk."
Marna didn't look convinced. "Colonel please. I understand Teyla's reasoning. It is alright."
"No, it's not. Time to bring out the big guns." He steered them into the jumper. "Speaking of guns, Teyla didn't have any weapons on her did she? Bantos, knives, guns?"
"I think she could probably hurt you without those things if she wanted."
"Yeah. Let's just hope she doesn't want to. Drive safely. Hands at ten and two. Make sure you use your turn signals. Off you go."
John stood a fair distance from the jumper as it took off. Watching it fly off, John hoped he did the right thing. He also hoped that Teyla knew the way back to the settlement. But first, he had to track her down.
He found her sitting on a fallen tree, her eyes focused on the stream ahead. She hadn't wandered that far, most likely for his benefit. Teyla knew he had a tendency to get lost when trees were involved.
"Hey." John sat down next to her, receiving a nod in reply. "You didn't think we left you, right?"
"It would not be the first time." She smiled shortly at him and the memory.
"I said I was sorry about that. Besides, we came right back. Ronon said you were onboard you know, so blame him."
Teyla's low chuckle was followed by a deep sigh, then silence.
She stood, hugging her arms to her small body, and walked a few feet before stopping.
"Do you know how Sean and Marna first met?" John softly replied no, so she continued. "They became locked in a corridor together during a power surge. It was nearly four hours before they were freed. The next day, Marna decided to stay in the city. They were brought together by an accident, a coincidence."
"Kinda like us."
She turned to look at him over her shoulder.
"But they fell in love."
"Why is that so bad?"
"They are from two different worlds, John."
"You never had a problem with that before, Teyla. Why now?" John couldn't read her, she was facing away from him again, still curled in on herself. "They seem to be pretty happy."
"And for how long." She turned to him, resignation clear in her voice. "How long before the expedition is recalled or my people go back to Athos?"
Realization hit him hard- that's what this was all about. Teyla never had a problem with the relationship, or Sean. She was afraid they'd be separated. There had been rumors that the expedition would be going back to Earth after Robert Woolsey came to Atlantis to "evaluate" things. Everyone had been a little more careful and fearful.
Ronon posed the question one night early into Woolsey's stay- what would Teyla do if the expedition went home. I would remain with my people, she responded immediately, sadness laced through her words. John, in all his bravado, told them no one was going anywhere. Atlantis was too important to just abandon.
"Would your people really go back to Athos?"
"There has always been talk of returning, but recently…" She trailed off, stepping forward to lean against a nearby tree. "I would have to go with them, of course."
"Of course." He pulled himself up and made his way to her tree, sliding down to sit at the base. "You're worried that if the Athosians go back, Marna might stay in Atlantis because of Sean."
She slid down next to him. "What if it was Sean to go home, to Earth?"
"Teyla, he's not going anywhere. He's going to stay in Atlantis as long as humanly possible."
"What if he has no choice? What if you are recalled to Earth?" She held his eyes for a moment before looking away. "The expedition, I mean."
"Then they make a decision. He stays, she goes, they do it together. I'm sure they've talked about it."
"One will walk away from their people, their past, their culture. It would not be an easy decision for either."
"Then let's hope it never comes to that. Even if it does Teyla, you can't decide for them."
He pressed into her shoulder lightly with his own. She nodded, smiling sadly at him.
"You can't help who you fall in love with. It doesn't always happen at the right time or place, it just happens." Even sitting next to her, his voice was so low she had to strain to hear it.
"And how do you decide which to let go? Your heart or your people? " She met his eyes and held them.
He hesitated a long moment before answering, "I don't know, Teyla. I wish I did."
Placing her hand over his, she squeezed gently before letting go again.
Moments like this were more dangerous to her than battles with the Wraith, but she wouldn't trade them for anything. She knew that the day would soon come when John Sheppard and the Atlantis Expedition would leave Pegasus. As much as that thought pained her, pushing her friends away was not an option.
John would be happy to sit by the tree, and her, all day if possible. They could watch the sun play over the stream and let Atlantis fade away. But he knew it wasn't possible. They couldn't just let it go, maybe that's why he couldn't answer her question, not yet anyway.
"We should start back. The council will be expecting me." He stood, pulling her up after him.
"What are you going to tell them?"
"That we must begin preparations for a bonding ceremony." John smiled down at her.
"You know I'm kind of regretting sending the kids off in the jumper."
"You do not know the way to the settlement, do you?"
He turned his head left to right and back again. Lifting his arm, he pointed straight ahead, "that way."
Teyla raised her brow, then pushed his arm six inches to the left. "I believe it is that way."
"We'll try your way first if it'll make you feel better." She nodded at him before laughing lightly.
"So, tell me about this bonding ceremony. Do I have to wear a suit?"
"No John, in fact there are no clothes involved at all." She started toward the village leaving him standing by the tree.
"What? Are you trying to be funny again? Cause we've talked about this. We have to work on your sense of humor."
"And we must work on your sense of direction. I could leave you here and let you find your own way back."
He caught up to her quickly. "You know, it was kinda funny now that I think about it."
Teyla rolled her eyes at him and continued on. "Mmm. I'm sure it was."
"So, seriously, tell me about this ceremony."
"You really wish to know?"
"Well yeah. I figure I'm gonna get roped into it somehow so I better know what's going on. Besides we've got an hour to kill." He flashed her a smile that earned him a laugh in return.
"First, every unmarried man in attendance must shave the hair from his head in a sign of solidarity."
John stopped suddenly. She had to be joking, but the look on her face. Teyla had the worst poker face. Then he saw it- the hint of a smirk. The Athosian looked over her shoulder at him gesturing him forward with a crook of her finger.
Jogging to catch up with her, John fell in time with her easy strides. "Shaved heads. Funny. You had me going for a minute there."
They walked together in a comfortable silence. Eventually Teyla began to talk about the real bonding ceremony. John listened as she spoke with reverence and longing about a tradition long since abandoned by her people. Her resigned tone revealed all that she had given up in her position as leader. Would she ever experience this? Always a bridesmaid. Duty above all else. John knew that feeling firsthand. Not for the first time in the last three years, he wished they could both learn to be more selfish.
Maybe that day would come. Maybe it wouldn't. For now, all they could do was savor the time they did have, and quietly hope that one day it would be the right time and place.