Hey, guys! Thanks for checking out my new story! I know I haven't exactly finished my others but I've been wanting to write a SWAC fic for a while and so..here it is! And for anyone else who has read my other stories I do plan to complete them...eventually, but my main focus will be TCB and Overcast.

As for this story, it begins with a diary entry from Sonny almost every chapter from here on out. It will also be mainly in Chad's point of view, at least until you guys figure out what is going on with Sonny, then it will be both. But until then you will get to see snippets of inside her mind. It is a suspenseful story and a romance of course. I'm a Channy sucker, just like the rest of you! :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny with a Chance because if I did they would've gotten together a looong time ago. And I'd being playing Sonny because Sterling Knight is one of my many husbands. :p

Overcast

November 2, 2010

Some days I question everything. The most plaguing thought is "why": Why me? Why now? Why here? I thought I had escaped it all, but then it followed me. How I survived this long, I don't even know. Will it ever end? More questions, of course. . . I don't think that I'll ever be able to get over the guilt and pain I feel whenever I think of him. He has hurt me more than any person I know, and yet he claims to love me. Surely love isn't this cruel. Love isn't unbelievable pain and then apologies the next day. It CAN'T be.

Moving here had helped me; I did't have the countless reminders of what has happened and what he's done. Now, with him here, the memories are flooding back; the hate, the pain, the confusion...the fear. I was always on edge, wary that something I would say or do would set him off. All the memories I have of him, even the happy ones, are tinged with darkness...except for the last one.

The last time I saw him-I can't help but smile-was-is a good memory. It might be the only one—that I can think of—that hasn't been tarnished by hate. We were at an amusement park, but even then I could tell that the cycle was starting again and I knew that it couldn't keep continuing; I had to get away; I had to protect myself. Was I miserable away from him? Yes, I was wracked with guilt. But was I even more miserable with him? Oh, God yes! I don't need the physical pain as well.

I was becoming dependent on him and his moods and I knew that wasn't healthy. I had to focus on myself for once. I have never cared for myself as much as I should because I've always only wanted to make others happy. That's probably one of the reasons why it continued for so long. In my attempts to keep peace and make others smile, I completely disregarded the effect it would have on me. I hurt myself by denying it and now I'm experiencing the consequences.

Three months earlier...

Chapter One

CPOV

To say I was stressed would be an understatement. My "father" was never satisfied with anything that I do. He wasn't even my real father, just my mother's third husband. Just because they've been married for 3 years does not give him permission to try to be a "father" to me. I'm seventeen and I had nothing to prove to him...At least that's what I keep telling myself. He was the only father I had right now, and with my previous step-father gone off to war I craved his approval and I couldn't make myself stop. I guess I felt as though if maybe I was good enough he wouldn't abandon me too.

It had always been my mother and I through the relationships and heartbreak. I was always there for her and she supported me with my acting in turn. But lately-no since the beginning of their relationship-she has been more subdued and less strong-willed. She can't make a decision without his approval majority of the time. Will seems to like power and despite how much I wish I could deny it, he had me in his control as well.

Lately, he's accused me of being lazy and not working hard enough, just because the ratings have gone down by 1%. 1%! Will was a man of extremes; it's either all or nothing with him. He felt as if a one percent drop would be the cancellation of the whole show. We just started on season 5's filming; right now the only episodes on were re-runs. He acted as if I had control over the population or if I had had "worked hard enough" people would still be as interested in repeats. I knew what he was saying was a complete overreaction, but I found myself working harder anyways to try to appease his standards. I hated being too weak to walk away, but I had already lost two fathers and I didn't need to lose another one.

I heard my dressing room door open and looked over to see Portlyn's face looking at me, "Knock, knock."

I sighed, "Hey, Port." She walked over to sit next to me on my couch.

"Stressed?" she asked.

"Try exploding from pressure."

She grimaced. "I'm sorry, Chad." She was one of the few cast members that I was really close to; she was like my sister so she knew about the pressures that Will put on me. I vented to her frequently and surprisingly to most people, she was a really good listener. She's helped me through a lot of rough patches. This past year has been different though. Seeing Sonny always managed to relieve that pressure on my chest; her smile brightened my day. On particularly hard days I would take the long way to set just to see her. But ever since our summer break, she's been different. I can't really place it, but sometimes her laughs seem forced and her smiles are less frequent, her genuine ones, anyway. Even her eyes have lost that familiar sheen of mirth; they've been dulled.

Everything started changing, though, after that week. That was a sunless week for everyone, even the weather cooperated with rain showers and overcast skies. That next week was odd because her mood and behaviour changed so drastically that it didn't even seem real. That's when day by day her eyes slowly lost their shine, her smile dimmed, and the geniality of her laughs faded. None of us knew what happened, during that week I had even formed a temporary alliance with the Randoms for information. They didn't know what had happened either. The following week when she was all smiles and giggles they dropped their worries; they were just happy to have Sonny back. My curiosity and concern, however, hasn't evaporated. They either couldn't notice the small change in Sonny overall, or they just didn't care. It couldn't be that bad right? Maybe her Grandmother died or something. That's upsetting. But something that normal shouldn't have to involve so many secrets. Something was seriously wrong with Sonny.

My closing door broke me from my streaming thoughts and I noticed that Portlyn was no longer here; she always was able to pick up when I didn't really want company. And I was grateful for that.

I picked my script up from the coffee table and reviewed it before rehearsals in 15 minutes. I needed to have it perfect. I couldn't settle for anything less.

SPOV

I walked into the Prop House and sat down on the couch next to Nico, "Hey." I gave him my usual smile; I had perfected this smile to a tee. No one should suspect a thing. I had actually wanted to be alone-Tawni was in our dressing room-but he had already seen me and it would be extremely out of character for me to just ignore him.

"Hey, Sonny, what's up?" Nico was his same old zany self, the only exception being that Grady wasn't with him to amp it up.

"Oh, nothing. Just a little tired-I couldn't sleep last night." He was about to start drinking last night and after my "interference" he hurt me, I cried myself to sleep last night...again.

"Yeah, me neither. Grady and I went to go see the 'Monkey Cars 3' midnight premiere." He smiled, clearly reminiscing.

"Then how are you so awake?" I asked.

"Well, you know how rehearsal ended at 5 yesterday?" I nodded, waiting for him to continue. "Well Grady and I went back to my place and crashed beforehand."

"Huh, I see. That was smart. I remember when I went to see the 'Eclipse' midnight premiere with Lucy. I actually fell asleep at the end of the movie and I was very upset because I wanted to see the fight scene." Nico laughed at me:

"Only you, Sonny!"

"Hey," I said in defense. "It's not my fault. It's genetic or something, okay?"

He looked at me with disbelief. "Really? How so?"

"My mom does it all the time. When we went to go see 'Atonement' she fell asleep through the whole middle of the movie and then woke up at random times saying how the 'stupid' movie didn't make any sense."

He laughed again. "Wow."

"Yeah, I know. And then when we rented it ON DEMAND later, she was like, 'that was such a good movie.' I remember thinking, 'really, Mom, really?'" As I said those words a certain pair of blue eyes invaded my brain, graciously distracting me with the sparkle in their cerulean base.

"Ayo, Sonny!" Nico called, breaking me from my daze. I blinked a few times before turning to face him. I raised my eyebrows in question at him. "Anyway, as I was saying. We could totally turn that into a sketch!"

My face broke into a genuine smile. "We could! How did I not think about it before? My mom and I always laugh when I remind her about it!" 'So Random' really made most of my days. It was an escape from everything at home that hurt me. Acting was a way that I didn't have to be myself. I would immerse myself into the character completely, just to forget, and I think that is what really made me a great actress. I act every single day as the happy, bubbly, and outgoing Sonny that I was before that day. Before my life took a completely different turn and I just...snapped.

He promised he'd change though, that it would never happen again, but it has. Last night being simply the most recent example. Then I remembered this morning when he dropped me off at the studio:

"Don't forget that as soon as you get inside to talk to Marshall and call me about the time change for this week's show so I can pick you up on time," he said looking at me with his dark eyes.

"But, I'm supposed to be with my mom this weekend," I said quietly, not meeting his gaze.

"Just do what I say and don't talk back to me," he said, his eyes hard and menacing, before kissing me on the cheek. "Have a nice day work, sweetie."

Shivers found their way up my spine thinking about that look in his eyes. I felt that familiar heat and pressure behind my eyes just thinking about the threat if I forgot...and I did.

"Sonny, are you okay?" Nico asked, worried. I was staring straight ahead, my face frozen in what I imagine was a display of pure fear. I turned to look at him slowly, trying to simultaneously compose my features. I gave him my fake smile before standing up.

"Yeah, I just forgot that I had to do something really important, that's all. By the way, what has the show on Friday been changed to?" I asked nonchalantly.

He didn't looked convinced, but said, "Just an hour later, at seven."

"Great, thanks!" I told him before walking out of the prop house. I walked quickly, the tears threatening to fall; I was afraid to call and afraid not to call. The longer I waited the worse it would get, but if I waited long enough then he would miss me and not be angry like last time, before our summer break. But I didn't want to wait another 3 months before I knew it was safe to see him again. If he had gotten his drink last night then he should become more passive in a couple of days. It was almost like clockwork. But he didn't, and I didn't want to imagine what he was going to be like tonight.

I couldn't call him, I couldn't face his anger; not here of all places. Here I was supposed to be always happy and smiley and...sunny. But, I always been a good actress and I could pull this off, right?

Rehearsals didn't start for another half hour so I did have time to call him; I began walking to an empty dressing room. I couldn't put it off because I had to see him tonight and I didn't want a repeat of last night. I raised my hand to my cheek where he slapped me, thinking about how last time he said it wouldn't happen again. They were empty promises and I knew that, but I couldn't bring myself to leave, not again. I still remember that week and how empty and guilty I felt. I vowed that I would never do it again, and I haven't since, but...that doesn't mean that I haven't thought about it. I just didn't want to see him that weekend. He couldn't expect me to rearrange my plans for him.

I quickly dialed his number before I lost my nerve. My fingers shook with anxiety as I brought the phone to my ear. The phone rang and rang...and went to voice-mail. I hadn't known how stiff my body was until it relaxed upon hearing the beep. "Hey, it's Alison. I'm calling like you asked and it starts at seven instead of six. I love you, bye." I pressed the end button, indescribably relieved at that aversion of conflict.

I got up from my position in the corner and walked over to one of the mirrors to check my appearance. I was luckily one of those people who could cry and have it not show. Looking at my reflection, though, I could only see the ghost of the girl I used to be.

And that is chapter one! Review and tell me what you guys think!

xoxo,

topazgirl14