-1This is a really sad fic. Sorry for anyone who wanted Meredith and Derek fluff. Although they are together, major sadness has hit them and it will be obvious from the start. I ask that all readers listen to Eva Cassidy's version of Fields of Gold.
Meredith stood lifeless in the corridor of the hospital, everyone watching her and Derek as they realised that the biggest part of they're lives had just been taken away from them. Derek shook his head and walked out the corridor, Meredith crumbling to the floor. No one dared go near her, no one having the strength themselves to deal with her. Izzie stood crying into Alex's shoulder, his own tears hitting her back. Christina watched Meredith, Both her and Burke crying silently. George leaned up off the wall, Callie trying to be strong for him, but her own emotions were too much to push down.
'He's…he's not dead…your lying…he's fine…your all lying to me…he's fine,' Meredith curled up, the paediatric surgeon lifting her to her feet. She just crumbled again. Bailey stopped after seeing the sight in front of her and quickly put the dots together. She ran over, kneeled down beside Meredith and held her against her chest; rocking her back and forth. Meredith broke down, her sobs loud, the screams of her sons name seeming to be the only noise in the hospital. Meredith grabbed onto Baileys arm, hoping that the woman she looked up to would tell her that her son was alive and well. But the words never came, only the feeling of emptiness. Mark came from the along the corridor, running towards the exam room. He stopped suddenly as he seen Meredith.
'Where is he?' George went forward, the blood draining away from Marks face as he told him what had happened.
'Meredith,' He lifted her up off the floor and sat her on the bed in the on call room.
'Derek walked away…he just walked away,' Meredith leaned back against the wall, Mark watching her, wiping away the tears that fell down his face, knowing he had to be strong for Meredith and Derek, that his grief could come later. Meredith stood up and walked along to the exam room, no one having moved from outside it. she pushed the doors open and stepped inside, not coming away from the back of the doors. The young boy lay still, his body pale white, his hands and lips cold. Meredith kneeled down next to the bed and gently wiped down his face with the damp cloth. Meredith didn't notice as everyone left from outside the room, her attention solely on Ben. She ran her fingers over his face, her finger getting caught in his hair. Meredith didn't look up as Burke came in and stood at the end of the bed.
'Meredith…Derek is outside,' She put her hand up, silencing Burke. He stepped to the side of the bed, his hand resting on the pale chest.
'the lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. Here me, even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me,' Meredith looked at Burke, her mouth half open in shock.
'He's gone Meredith,' Meredith shook her head, not wanting to believe that this was happening. Derek quietly pushed the door open, Burke standing back.
'He's just sleeping Derek…he'll wake up,' Burke left Meredith and Derek alone, each of them by the side of the bed.
'No…he's not sleeping…he's gone…he's really gone,' Derek pulled Meredith away from the side of the bed, Meredith fighting him off. He held her tighter, Meredith refusing to let him go, refusing to acknowledge that her son was gone. Both of them collapsed onto the floor, each of them holding each other and crying with each other.
'I can't lose him…we can't lose him,' No one dared come into the room as they sat in the darkness. Meredith stood up, Derek doing the same.
'We need to say goodbye to him…but I can't Derek…I just can't,'
She lifted the seven year old boy, holding him against her chest.
'you will always be my angel,' Derek choked out a sob as Meredith laid Ben back down onto the bed and turned away, not wanting to see him again. Derek took hold of Ben and lifted him off the bed, cradling him like he would never let him go. Placing him back on the bed he kissed his forehead and ran out the room, Mark seeing him run through the lobby out into the rain. Derek started screaming, Mark grabbing hold of him. Derek pushed him away, Mark still holding on. He collapsed into a heap on the ground like a house being knocked down after the foundations had been ripped out. Derek's foundations had been ripped out, his heart shattered like smashed glass.
'It's ok…it's ok,' Bailey brought Meredith out, Meredith holding onto her like she would die if she didn't hold onto her. she fell to her knees in front of Derek, her hands grabbing onto his face. She took hold of his gaze, both of them realising for the first time that they had both lost the same person and that the only way they could get through this was to be together, no matter how bad it got, they had each other.