" Castiel if you're listening i need you right now" Dean said quietly perhaps even whispered in his husky voice, he did so quietly, that Sam would not be able to hear him from the next room of the grubby motel, he needed this to be private.

"Hello Dean" a deep voice answered.

Dean spun round startled "You have got to STOP doing that"

Cas looked confused and emotion he regularly portrayed "you needed me Dean?"

"shush shush be quiet i don't want Sammy to hear us" Dean whispered

"I don't understand Dean?" Cas said with that puzzled look on his face

"nevermind just be quiet" Dean said abruptly as he heard movement in the next room,

moments later Sam walked in "Remember we were researching the disappearances of those two girls? yeah well heres the thing it turns out…" Sam stopped speaking as soon as he saw Cas, "oh, Cas um i didn't know you were here"

"Hello Sam"

"um yeah hi, um Dean can i speak to you for a minute"

Cas looked at Dean then back at Sam a look of confusion on his face, then with the sound of wings he was gone

"ugh look what you've done, he's probably pissed" Dean huffed

"but um Dean i thought we weren't speaking to Cas since the whole becoming God, dying then coming back to life and going insane thing"

"yeah, well, things change"

"um okay well, i think this is a really bad idea he was our friend he seriously betrayed us, i understand he's still one of us but man, he was off his rocker who knows what kind of state he's in! uh..but whatever man anyway I'm gonna go speak to some potential witnesses and i'll just leave you alone"

Sam lugged a large rucksack over his shoulder and exited just as he opened the door he looked back once again at his troubled brother leaning his head against the door frame he gave a sympathetic smile and left, Dean just sat there on the grotty bed looking at the floor troubled thoughts circling his head, 'maybe Sam is right maybe it is a bad idea making contact with Cas' he thought, but after Bobby's death he hasn't had anyone other than Sam to vent to besides he couldn't help the feelings he has for Cas even if he wanted to, in Cas' terms 'they share a more profound bond', but Dean knew it was more than that, well at least for him.

Grabbing himself a beer Dean sat down a flicked on the television set, flicking through the channels he came across a porn channel his eyebrows raised and his natural pout became more prominent setting his beer aside he began to unbuckle his belt, when Castiel reappeared

"is that the pizza man?"

"Jesus Christ!" Dean shouted quickly covering his crotch with a near by pillow and turning the tv off

"No, its Castiel" responded that puzzled look once again on his face and a slight tilt of the head,

"I know Cas I mean.. uh ..nevermind" Dean said while shaking his head and becoming reacquainted with his beer, Dean leaned back on the bed let out a sigh of satisfaction from the ice cold beverage

"Cas we need to talk"

Cas tilted his head even more, he desperately wanted to inform Dean they were already talking but was interrupted in thought by Deans following sentence

"We need to talk about us, Cas?"

"I'm not sure i understand Dean"

Dean sighed and got up from the bed, his belt still undone, but he didn't care because what he was about to say was more important, "Cas do you ever have feelings you know you're not supposed to because they are, wrong, well not wrong but not right?"

"I dont understand Dean"

Dean let out another sigh, he couldn't explain it especially not to Cas and he certainly couldn't speak to Sam about it

he knew no one would understand hell he couldn't even understand it himself, 'I'm not even gay' he thought 'why do i feel these things' he looked deep into Castiel's eyes hoping to find and explanation but instead found himself feeling more lost than ever in his deep blue windows to the soul, after a few moments of silence, which seemed like hours to Dean, Castiel spoke, "i feel things Dean… things i don't understand, i don't understand many human emotions but this one is different.. its powerful ..and…. i feel strange around you"

Dean was stunned by what Cas was saying, 'is it possible he feels the same, no it couldn't be' Dean thought, Dean being a pessimist wanted to drown every good thought of Cas returning his feelings towards him but maybe it was true maybe Cas felt the same way.