Ookee Mouth

13-year-old Kyle Broflovski was innocently studying in his room when he slightly crazy blond friend Kenny McCormick burst in out of breath but grinning from ear to ear.

Kyle jumped at this and spun in his desk chair "Kenny? What the hell dude!"

"I can do it," he gasped, still with a wide grin.

"Can do what?"

"Ookee Mouth."

Kyle gave a quizzical look. "What?"

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Ookee Mouth. You remember, your mom made you play it with me when she tried to get you to catch my chicken pox when we were eight? I had to spit down your throat and you had to say 'Ookee mouth' at the same time?"

Kyle raised an eyebrow but it gradually came back to him. "Oh yeah… but it was impossible right?"

Kenny shook his head. "I can do it."

Kyle rolled his eyes this time. "Well obviously you can spit down my throat but-"

"No! I can say Ookee mouth. It's all about relaxing your throat muscles! Though granted I choked to death about 3 times trying but-"

Kyle scoffed, "No way. And…. And even if you could, why would you want to?"

Kenny looked confused. "Well… well why wouldn't I?"

"… there's no way."

"No really! Go on, spit in my mouth!" Kenny said excitedly opening wide and tipping back his head.

Kyle gaped. "S-sick dude! I'm not doing that!"

Kenny's eyes immediately went puppy dog. "Pleeeeeease?" he begged and opened again. Kyle could see his uvula twitching.

Kyle was hesitant… but finally spat down his friend's throat.

"Ookie moufth" Kenny choked out. A bit garbled, but definitely discernable. Kyle gaped again, but this time broke out into insane laughter.

"Oh my God. No WAY!" he doubled over as Kenny took a bow.

"Krazy Kenny is back for an encore round!" the blond cheered and threw a fist in the air. Kyle sighed and spun back around in his chair.

"Well that is pretty awesome Ken, but I really have to study for our science test now. You should go show Cartman, he'll probably try to set up a tour for you or something."

There was a pause where Kenny didn't leave. Kyle felt a little awkward until Kenny spoke again and said, "I could teach you."

Kyle was startled, since they had been silent for a while. "Huh?"

"I could teach you to say Ookee mouth," Kenny said shuffling his feet with a mischievous smile on his face.

Kyle turned back in his chair and gave Kenny a deadpan look. "I don't want to learn to say Ookee mouth."

Kenny shuffled his feet again. "Then you could be cool toooo….."

Kyle twitched. "That's okay. I'll pass."

"Come on, it's really easy once you get the hang of it!" Kenny whined.

"Not on your life, or mine for that matter! Didn't you say you died three times trying to get that to work?"

"Yeah but death follows me remember? Plus my brother threw a firecracker down my throat too the second time. I wouldn't do that! It'll be fine. Just relax your throat to get the saliva down at quick as possible and then go Ookee mouth half in burp talk, it takes practice but-"

"I don't want your spit in my mouth Kenny!"

"How do you know you wouldn't like it?"

"Cause I had it there before and I didn't like it!"

Kenny looked serious for a moment "What if I took a breath mint?"

"That's so not the point!"

"Okay, just try it once and if you don't like it-"

"I'm not letting you spit in my mouth Kenny!" Kyle snapped, but as he did Kenny launched himself at him and he let out a yelp as a gob of foreign saliva was spewed down his throat. He sputtered and coughed as Kenny burst into laughter "DUDE!"

Kenny wiped away a tear. "Did I embarrass you Kyle? Your face is REALLY red!"

"OF COURSE ITS RED! You spat down my THROAT! I was CHOKING! GOD!"

"Whatever," Kenny waved his hand and smirked, "So ready to learn to say 'Ookee mouth' yet?"

"NO!"

Kenny looked heartbroken. "Awe…"

This time Kyle was immune to puppy dog looks. "Get out of here Kenny!"

Kenny pouted, but headed for the door none the less. He did stop for a moment at the doorway though.

"Heh… you know we just swapped spit right?" he said, grinning over his shoulder at Kyle's horrified look. He hastily made his escape as the horrified face turned furious and the Jew started screaming profanities. In the hall Kenny cast a gleeful look at the fat boy scowling at him.

"That's not what I meant when I dared you to 'swap spit' with the Jew, poor boy!" Cartman growled.

Kenny cocked an eyebrow and shrugged. "Whatever. That's ten bucks, pay up fat boy"