Disclaimer: "I hate him with a passion, and I don't even know his first name."

(An: I suppose this would be set somewhere in the first movie, when Will is still adorably pathetic and Jack is still pre-Sparrabeth. The timing isn't really important; this is just a piece to help me get a better handle on Jack's views on love.)

One needs not look very hard to discover the depths of Will's love for Elizabeth. Trust me. I'd know. I made the mistake of asking him about it once.

"Lizzie's a fine lass," I commented, "but I really don't see why'd you go to all this trouble for her. Seems to me she's more of it than she's worth."

Will raised his eyebrows at me. He always does that when I speak to him. It's quite patronizing. "That's Miss Swann to you… and I like her that way. I love her."

I took a swig of rum so I wouldn't laugh. You see? I respect him enough to do that, but do you think he'd return the courtesy? Of course not. "Bully for you, mate."

Will didn't even try to hide his grin. "Oh, I'd forgotten. You don't do anything unless you get something out of it."

I said nothing for a moment; I supposed that, in his eyes, I should have been chagrined by that, but it was a pretty astute observation, and I had rum. There was no use in lying unless it got you alcohol or gold. So I shrugged and grinned back at him. "Amen to that."

Will looked out over the water. "I suppose love'd be far too provinicial for you. Normal people fall in love, not crazy drunk pirate captains." He made to tip over my rum, and I quickly moved it out of reach. There are just some things you don't joke about.

I folded my arms. "I've been in love before."

Will snorted. "With who?" I opened my mouth. "And the Pearl doesn't count."

I shut my mouth. That made it tricky. "…I loved me mum."

Will scoffed, flapping a hand at me. "Of course you did. Even people who hate their mothers love their mothers."

I rolled my eyes. "Giselle and Scarlett, then… Anamaria's a fine lass as well." I smirked, but Will shook his head. He seemed a little graver now. Ruins all the fun, that boy.

"Not lust, love. The kind people write stories about."

I stared at him. "Wipe your ears, mate. They look wet."

Will shot me a look. "I'm serious. You're older than me… a lot older. There must have been someone."

I shrugged. "Plenty of someones, unless you insist on splitting hairs."

"There's a difference!" Will insisted. He looked downright incensed now. It was funny, to tell the truth.

"The only difference, Will, is if you ask a playwright or a sailor about it… pirates are better. Trust me."

Will rolled his eyes. "Sure."

I leaned back in my seat, frowning now myself. I was getting rather attached to this little discussion of ours. "All right, so what's so great about your side of the coin? I am older than you. Maybe I've just learned better."

Will looked at me like I was insane… which is how he looks at me all of the time, so never mind that. He turned his face to the sea. "You might have," he said, after such a long pause that I thought he wasn't going to respond at all. "It's the greatest feeling in the world when you're not actually around them. Then you're stuck thinking how you're not worthy of her, how every word out of your mouth makes you sound like an idiot… how her hair shines in the sun…" He shook his head. "But it's nice when she's not around because…" He shrugged.

"You can smile like an idiot without her seeing?" I suggested dryly. "After all, if I were Lizz- Miss Swann and I saw you right now, I'd go for Norrington even if he was with Gibbs in the pig swill."

Will glared at me. "Yes, actually, but you don't have to rub it in."

"Oh, I do," I said, finally getting my smirk back. "This is the one thing that you admit that I know better than you about- although there are actually thousands that you are simply in denial about, Master Turner."

Will sneered at me. "Drink your rum," he muttered, resting his head on his arms. "…So you've never felt that way about anyone?"

"That way specifically or-"

"Yes, that way specifically," Will snapped. "It's not that hard of a concept."

I decided to at least pretend I was giving it some real thought- humor the kid, why not- and found myself doing it for real. I sipped my rum, frowning. "There was Tia Dalma," I said finally, drumming my fingers on the table. "But not really."

"How can you 'not really' love someone? Either you do or you don't."

"Maybe in your world, bucko, where everything is nice and clear cut, black and white and all that." I sent one of my rings spinning across the table. "In mine, everything is shades of gray." I took another drink. I hadn't thought of Tia Dalma in a very long time, and I needed the fortitude.

Will raised his eyebrows. Damn, that boy is thick- but then, I suppose that was the point I was trying to make here all along.

"I knew from the moment I met her that Tia Dalma was in love with someone else," I said. "I was just a kid- me dad took me to see her one day- and even then I knew. It wasn't my love, either- it was the kind that people like you say will last forever."

"'Say'?" Will demanded. He looked all incensed again. Him and his naivete! He was making me feel old.

"Well, for Tia Dalma, it didn't." I let Will ponder this and reached for my rum, only to find it empty- of course it was! It always is.

"How did you know?" Will sounded less annoyed and more curious now. He was getting interested in my point of view in spite of himself. I love doing that to people!

I ran my finger around the rim of the bottle. I hated to admit that thinking about this part still rankled- part of the reason Tia Dalma hadn't sprung to mind immediately. "Well, she had a locket and a portrait… also, she tried to kill me every time I tried to kiss her." I paused. "I don't think it was because of the kissing."

"You stole something from her, didn't you." Will had his high-and-mighty, "you're a pirate and I'd still like to think that I'm not" expression. Ridiculous, really.

"I wouldn't call it stealing…"

"Appropriating and comandeering are the same thing as stealing, at least when you say them," Will said, leaning back in his seat and looking quite satisfied with himself.

I waved him off. "When you put it that way, anything sounds bad."

Will looked at me for a long moment. "So did you love her?"

"When you put it that way, anything sounds bad," I repeated. "…I wanted to. She reminded me of the sea- gentleness one moment, danger the next. But I knew she couldn't love me back."

"Because of the other man?"

I shook my head. "I wasn't worried about him. Whatever she might have said about the subject, I knew she'd left him and not the other way around… but she was like the sea, and sooner or later you always end up back on land." I shrugged. "Besides, after a while attempts on one's life lose their charm, and one must move on."

Will rolled his eyes. He didn't have to say what he thought of my version of love.

"Eh, to each his own, mate," I said, shrugging again.

"I suppose." Will turned away again. "And I suppose as long as I don't start believing what you say is true that I'll be fine." He smiled a little bit. What cheek.

I stared at him for a moment, and then I exhaled. There's just no reasoning with some people.

(So, yeah, that was quite pointless. It was just a character study, and comments are always appreciated.)