Hello all! This is my first fic in years and it's very clearly evident by the soon to be read text below.
All editing errors are my own.
Thank you for reading this rambling and as always, enjoy.

Blonde hair gleamed in the dim light that was cascading down the mountain side as sunset drew nearer. The girl's back was rigid as she moved, eyes darting around the clearing. Being out in the open was like putting a target sign on your back with the words 'shoot me' written below. But maybe… Maybe that's what she'd wanted. Maybe that's what she deserved.

495…

No matter how much she wished it wouldn't, the same images kept reappearing in her mind's eye. Each time she blinked or didn't keep her mind focused on the earth below her feet, she saw them. Them with their wild eyes and terrified expressions.

The screams.

The terrible screams that echoed in her head long after she'd left the Mountain.

Her hand twitched at her side. It had been doing that since she'd pulled the trigger. Since she'd killed Dante. Since she'd pulled that lever.

498…

A staggering step forwards caused her to almost lose count. Counting was always something that had helped her focus, to get her mind off of whatever was ailing her. But now… Now she couldn't breathe.

499…

The sound of hoof beats ring in her ears and she feels the ground beneath her begin to quiver with the weight of whatever is thundering her way. Maybe this is what she deserves, she thinks, as she sees forms riding towards her, unstopping. Maybe this was her punishment, death at the hands of one of the clans.

500…

With the last step, she drops to her knees, letting the horses surround her. She recognizes the armor, the smell, the war paint. Grounders. More importantly, the Woods clan. The thought leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

Green eyes flash through her mind, those gorgeous and yet haunting green eyes that spoke too much and yet not enough. The same green eyes that had left her for dead.

She could hear the words, taunting in her ears.

May we meet again.

Bile crept up her throat as she looked up into the face of none other than Nyko, a Healer for the Woods clan. His eyes were steely as he dropped down from his horse, looking down at her with something she couldn't quite make out. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn't pity.

"Get up." He spoke in an even tone, eyes locking with hers.

The blonde made no intention of moving, her head just moving to slump downwards, chin hitting her chest. Eyes closed as she waited for whatever punishment was coming her way. Sure, she hadn't been the one to do the betrayal but she had murdered so many innocent people in cold blood just to save her friends. This was her punishment.

"Clarke."

More silence followed, the grounder getting impatient.

With a slam, a sword was thrust into the ground right next to her, showing his impatience and also revealing the young girl's willingness to die for she did not flinch.

In a manner that could almost be seen as comical, the man dropped to his knees in front of her, not even bothering to reach for her chin because he knew this would get her attention. No grounder would willingly put himself in such a submissive position unless they had to.

"Heda gon skaikru."

Clarke's eyes shot up at that, her chin slowly lifting until their eyes met. Gone was the steely look, only fear remained.

"How did you find me?"

"You smell." He said with a slight smirk, repeating Anya's all too familiar words which only furthered to serve the detest in Clarke's stomach.

"I have nothing to say to you. So you should grab your sword and leave before I kill every last one of you."

The man didn't flinch, just like she hadn't, knowing it was a bluff.

"I'll do it. I'm sure you've heard by now. I, Clarke of the Sky People, massacred a whole slew of people and if I need to… I'll gladly do it again to the people that betrayed me. The people that left me to die in that moun—"

"Clarke." He started once more.

"No!" She yelled, jumping off her knees as she stared down at him.

Slowly, Nyko began to rise from his place on the earth floor, shaking his head towards the other Grounders who had reached for their weapons at the outburst.

"I don't want to hear it. I'll kill every single one of you." She spoke, a hand moving rapidly to raise her gun and aim it at the Healer's head. "I'll end you right here and now if you don't leave me the hell alone."

The man's jaw clenched, his anger seeming to bleed throughout him before he reigned it back, looking at her dead in the eye.

"Heda was wounded, Clarke."

The gun shook in her hands, sweat dripping down a dirty brow.

"You're lying."

"I do not lie."

Flashes of green eyes and tan skin filtered throughout her mind. That small smile that was only ever shown to her. The twist of a body as they left her alone atop a mountain. The smell of leather and mint clouded her senses, tasting the bile once more.

"How bad?"

She can't believe she has managed to utter out those words, words she doesn't even care to know the answer to. Because she doesn't. She doesn't care about her or the emerald eyes that gave her so much hope only to dash it when she needed her most.

"That's why I am here, she asked for you. The Ice Queen had her ambushed just shortly after we left the maun."

For a moment her heart seized painfully, thinking of the girl gasping for breath as she lay on a hard bed, covered in pelts. Just as soon as it came, it was gone, the screams of the innocent ringing through her ears once more.

"Take me to her."

Nyko seemed pleased with her answer, nodding to one of the men who then gave Clarke the reigns to a horse they'd brought along for just her. Gathering the bag she had dropped to the ground beside her, Clarke placed the strap around her neck as she mounted the horse.

She still wasn't used to it; riding horses or green grass or any of the things this world had to offer. She hadn't been given enough time to just appreciate because it was one thing after the next.

"It will be a day's journey to her tent and I am sure she will be pleased to know you're coming to see her. Heda is-"

"I'm not coming to see her." Clarke spoke, the reigns in her hand as she turned to face the Healer. The screams were alive in her ears, the blood too much to wash off her hands this time at the cost of her soul.

"But you have just said…"

Once again Clarke cut him off, the ice in her stare and the grinding of her teeth evident of her distaste of the whole situation.

"I am going to the Commander because she deserves to feel what I have felt. She deserves to be given hope only to have it walk away before her very eyes. I'm going to give her what she gave to me. And then if that doesn't make me feel any damned better then who knows what I'll do."

"Nyko! She talks slander of the Heda. She seems she wants to destroy her spirit." A young warrior spoke, his fingers still on the hilt of his sword.

"No." Clarke barked out a grinding laugh, blue eyes shimmering with anger. "The Commander has no spirit, no soul, no heart. Whatever the Ice Queen did… If she didn't finish the job, believe me when I tell you that I will."

Nyko looked at her, his back rigid and his muscles tense at the anger that the young girl was presenting. But he couldn't report back to his Heda without the blonde. She'd have his head and then where would that get anyone. So with a nod, he agreed, clucking his tongue as they began their journey.

Clarke's hair blew behind her as she followed along, the galloping of horses resounding in her ears. It was nice for a while, the screaming being drowned out by the constant noise. It didn't comfort her for long seeing as she knew where she was going.

It was time to face her very own Judas.

It was time to see Lexa.