Disclaimer: Ansatsu Kyoushitsu / Assassination Classroom is property of Matsui Yuusei.
NTR
A couple of knocks were given on the surface of the door, making the girl's head lift up heavily and her grip on her skirt to tighten.
Sighing frustrated, she settled into the toilet's uncomfortable surface in which she sat, while her violet eyes looked with askance at the door of that bathroom stall where she was.
Hearing the breathing of the other person on the other side, she imagined that it would be Ren who was looking for her, that would be the most logical and rational thought. But it didn't take long for her to hear another voice, which made her realize she was wrong. That was even worse for her.
"Asano." Another girl said seriously. "Get out of there."
Great.
The last person she wanted to talk to.
Karma's voice, speaking in a serious tone, echoed throughout the walls of the place, making Asano cringe in her spot, while a worried expression crossed her face.
As if she wanted to do it.
She didn't know why Karma was there or why she was looking for her, but she didn't want to know. She didn't want to know anything about Karma, or what she was doing, or who she was being.
That was precisely her problem, although it wasn't as if she could speak aloud.
Gakushuu frowned and remained silent, not even wanting to answer nor move from her spot/from were she was. She settled one of the strands of her short hair behind her ear and took a deep breath trying to calm down. She had to, because her thoughts were mixed and spinning out of control in her head. Her mind was racing and almost got collapsed, she couldn't think well, and it was more difficult to reason with the confusion and the blockade that she was beginning to feel.
At least she knew that she had to act before Karma decided to keep talking or break the door down, and she was able to do that. But she didn't do it because she couldn't even identify what she was feeling.
"Get out of there." Karma said more impatiently. "Now."
Typical of her. She didn't care about how she was lost in her world or how hard it was for her to distinguish some thoughts at that moment. Sometimes she was quite selfish.
A few knocks on the door, stronger than before, left her startled. Of course, she would also have to see it coming. Still, she wouldn't answer.
"Asano, If you don't open the door right now, I will tear it down."
That was, supposedly, which made her get up and walk slowly toward the door.
Okay, she didn't want to talk to Karma. The redhead was the last person in the world she wanted to see there. But she didn't want to have to pay for the door of that place, so the best decision she could make, was leaving.
She stood in front of the door, rubbing her eyes tightly and sighing heavily. She didn't know how to cope neither with Karma nor herself. As much as she tried to think, everything became more complicated, harder to understand and solve.
She was a determined, strong, brave, tenacious and intelligent girl in everything she did, but there were things that surpassed her, things that she didn't think she would come to live, situations in which she never would have thought of being involved in and for which his father hadn't prepared her. And now that she was fully involved in something that she didn't even understand, she felt lost and useless, with her mind blank and her scrambled thoughts, unable to take a useful decision.
The web of lies that she had built along with Karma, was destroying her. And none knew what to do about it.
Shrugging and taking a deep breath, Gakushuu decided to hide her growing emotions and feelings under the mask of haughty and proud girl which she used to show to everyone. She breathed deeply and raised an arm to open the door decisively.
Karma's amber eyes looked at her reproachfully and angrily when she opened the door. She couldn't do more than ignore them as she pushed her aside to walk with sure steps towards the large mirror of that bathroom. She wanted to get out of there now, but she had to pretend in front of the redhead, at least to get away from her.
"What were you thinking of?" Karma said angrily as she followed her.
They ended up next to each other, staring at their narrowed eyes and facing the great mirror of those bathrooms. Unwittingly, they looked at the other more intensely than they should, despite being on the verge of an argument.
Karma didn't hide when she went through Asano's whole body shape with her eyes, stopping at her chest and her legs longer than she should and without admitting the fact that she being groomed and well dressed, affected her more than she wanted; Meanwhile Asano, looked somewhat embarrassed at the way that Karma's long hair was neatly combed and her new clothes were better tan usual. She didn't want to think about how good her new perfume smelled, only if she was using one.
It was difficult to hide a latent attraction like that, and even more when they were close and could feel the intense gaze of the other on her body.
And that was horrible.
Intending to remove those thoughts form her head, Gakushuu decided to stop looking at the other and bowed in front of the mirror while she combed her hair with her hands, feigning disinterest in Karma's anger and the question she had asked moments before.
"What do you mean?" The president of the student council asked in a flawless performance.
"You know it very well." Karma reproached clenching her fits and staring resentfully at her.
"No, I don't know." The other answered normally. "Anyway, what are you doing here? You should be studying as the loser of the E class you are."
"It doesn't matter." Karma said, ignoring her provocation. "I've seen everything that has happened."
"What?"
"Everything."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, no? Do I have to refresh your memory?" Karma asked leaning toward her angrily.
"Maybe."
"You and Ren arm in arm. You and Ren on a date. You and Ren kissing on the hallway. Do I have to keep talking?"
Asano gritted her teeth and frowned. Yes, yes. She was right, everything Karma said was true. She had been out arm in arm with Sakakibara Ren, at that time she was having a date with him, at that karaoke. And yes, they had kissed in the hallway. It was true, everything was true. But who had pushed her to do it? Who was guilty for everything she had done?
Karma didn't have the right to blame her anything, much less to get angry like that. For a very simple reason.
"Why do you care about what I do in my date when you have to worry about what you're doing in yours?" Gakushuu asked, wearily.
Yes, she knew it. Asano wasn't stupid and Karma didn't know how to hide very well when she was angry.
Karma had a date with Shiota and she couldn't deny it. The way she had bothered to groom herself, was enough to know that.
But what both had to ask was:
Why Gakushuu, having a date with Ren, had locked herself in the bathroom for a few minutes? And why Karma, having a date with Nagisa, had decided to follow her?
They had to find an answer to that, but having arguments was easier.
"I care because I don't like the fact that you go kissing each othe in front of others. Aren't you ashamed?" Karma said, angrily, in an attempt to justify herself.
"Oh, please. On the stairs of this karaoke there were four or five couples doing the same, and some of them were even taking off their clothes."
"And what?"
"Why they don't bother you and we do?"
"Because yes" She exclaimed shaking her head. "You are of the student council! Shouldn't you be setting an example?"
"Since when do you care about the example we set if you do what you want?" Asano answered surprised. "In addition, members of the student council have a life, did you know? And we can do whatever we want with it."
"Whatever you want?" Karma said raising her eyebrow. "I wonder what your father would think if he knew all of this."
"Get out." Gakushuu ended up saying turning around and refusing to look at the mirror. "If Shiota and you don't have courage to kiss, that doesn't affect us."
"What?"
"What you just heard."
"Don't talk about what you don't know."
"You're the one who speaks without knowing!" Asano shouted angrily. Not even herself couldn't believe how much Karma pissed her off. "You have to understand this: My date, my boyfriend, my decisions. You've got nothing to do in here!
"I have things to do in here if I want to!."
"You don't! Who gives you the right?"
"You if the first thing you do on your date is locking yourself in the bathroom!"
Asano breathed slowly and tried to lessen her anger. She couldn't believe what was happening. Was Karma really saying those things? With which reasons? With which privilege? She was no one, she was nothing. Karma didn't know why she had done that, or what it had driven her to it, even if she knew, what affected her? Why did she care? Karma showed long ago that she wasn't interested in anything that happened to her and that included how was her date doing and what she did in it, the situation didn't make sense and Asano didn't know what to think.
"Since when do you care about me?" She snapped, angrily. "This doesn't concern you."
Karma looked at her seriously and crossed her arms, then stared at her decisively.
"No?"
"No!"
Karma approached to her angry, gritting her teeth and fists, glaring at her furiously. Asano shrank herself for a moment and then she decided to defend herself. If Karma thought for a moment that she could hurt her, she had no idea with whom she was trying to pick up a fight.
But, it was the opposite.
When she Karma's soft hands entangled in her hair and squeezing her cheeks, she knew what would happen. Deeply, both knew from the beginning, from the time when Karma went into the bathroom ready to find the other, they knew where they were going to arrive.
Her lips collided hard, with anger and haste, trying to channel all the anger that they felt in that urgent and somewhat heated kiss because of the argument. They didn't even bother to move their lips, they only stilled, static, their minds now blank as they joined their mouths without contemplation, they needed nothing more to shake their bodies with.
Karma closed her eyes tightly as her fingers tangled in the fine strands of Asano's hair, breathing hard, inhaling her scent and feeling butterflies in her stomach. Although she didn't even have the courage to move, she was afraid that her hands began to tremble by the stress. Meanwhile Asano, with her eyes open, she looked at her carefully appreciating the concentrated face of the redhead. Helplessly, her hands clutched to her thin shoulders, without seeing the necessity to break out of that.
They should separate, they shouldn't be doing that. That was mean of them. And even though they knew it, they couldn't stop it, none did anything about it.
After a few seconds of hesitation, where they could only focus on the touch of their fine and soft lips over the other, Karma opened her eyes slowly to look at Asano's, surprised to see the intensity and depth in them. Irretrievably, she ended up intensifying her caresses in the other's hair, trying to move her lips to continue the kiss, narrowing the closeness of her body against hers to feel her warmth while sighing with necessity. Gakushuu almost felt faint when Karma moved her lips against hers, her heart jumped at that, she stifled a whimper in her throat and she tightened her grip on her shoulders as she struggled not to close her eyes.
Where would they be able to reach? Would it be okay to be swept along by that?
"Karma? Are you okay?
"Gakushuu, are you there?"
No, it wouldn't be right. At all.
When the doubtful and worried voices of Ren and Nagisa echoed behind the bathroom door, the couldn't avoid the panic.
Both opened their eyes in surprise, waking up suddenly from their reverie and realizing what they were doing, and all that this would imply.
They were the worst.
Asano pushed Karma hard, away from her, as if she burned, and looked at her with rejection, blaming her for everything and silently reproaching her what they had done. She went to the mirror quickly while she carefully combed some locks of her orange hair, which Karma had tousled with her hands seconds earlier.
"Y-Yes, we're fine." The girl replied pretending to remain normal. "We're leaving."
Karma didn't even speak. She just look at herself in the mirror, fixing her shirt up and not bothering to hide the sulky expression which she was carrying. She finished rubbing her sleeves against her lips, as if in that way she could get rid of of the sweet taste of Asano's in these.
The atmosphere had become tense and uncomfortable between them, something completely normal considering what had just happened.
Neither of the two girls wanted to cross their looks, or their words. They bowed their heads and reemerged that strange silent between them, in which they decided not to mention that kiss. As if it hadn't happened, as if it had never existed.
Because it wasn't the first time that it had happened. And not talking about it was better than anything else.
Asano was the one who left first, completely ignoring the redhead's presence and lifted her head proudly as she showed an indifferent expression, as always. She was also hiding her insecurity and confusion behind that mask of perfection, believing that sooner or later these distressing feelings would disappear behind her idealized image.
Although unfortunately for her, it was when the girl came our of the bathroom and met with Ren's friendly smile, when that mask of indifference broke a little to reveal some discomfort in her eyes.
She felt the worst.
~0.0~
"Are you really alright?" Ren asked, worriedly.
Gakushu suppressed a sigh and decided to ignore his brown eyes to look closely at the glass of water which the boy had brought and he had placed on the table for her moments before.
No. She wasn't alright. She wasn't alright at all.
"Yes, I'm okay." She lied with a fake smile. "I just felt a little bad, I'm better now."
Liar.
She was a liar and an opportunist.
She knew it and still she lived with it. It had been too long since his father had taught her that taking advantage of the weakest was the best way to succeed in life; That by controlling others from the shadows, her victory would be assured; And that by being a fake doll with expressions without feelings and perfectly calculated movements, she could have the world at her feet.
She had spent years lying and being a false friend to everyone. So, why she cared about it now?
Perhaps because cuckolding her boyfriend in that way with Akabane, wasn't the same as manipulating the whole school in order to get what she wanted.
Being the center of Kunugigaoka, controlling them all as mere puppets which were there to play with, guiding them in the dark with a condescending and even cruel smile. Everything was done in order to achieve a goal; to make her father surrender before her, to make him realize what she was worth, what she was capable of.
But this whole affair, why did she do it? For which goal? What did she want to get?
Not even herself knew, and it made her doubt of many things.
"Oh, good. I has worried." Ren replied with a smile. "If you begin to feel bad again, we can leave anytime."
"Yes." She said lowering her head. She felt so bad.
"Although we should have brought an umbrella."
"Eh?"
"I think it's raining outside, but doesn't matter." The boy said. "I'll lend you my coat when we get out."
"Okay." Gakushuu answered quickly as she took the glass of water and drank nervously.
Why was he so good to her? Why was he doing this?
Ren was a casanova, yes. But he knew how to treat women, especially her.
She had been aware of what Ren felt for her for a long time, it would be silly not to notice all the smiles, the admiration with which he looked at her and the somewhat different attitude he had with her in comparison to other girls with whom he flirted. He liked her and she knew it, everybody knew it, Ren constantly showed it. He had never used those tricks and catchphrases from popular guys with her. Beside her, he was himself, honest, kind and comprehensive, something she would always appreciate. He had never forced her to anything and he had been patient with her, more than he should have been.
Ren was a good boyfriend, he was a good boy. Why couldn't she do the same?
Ren was special to her, everyone noticed it. He was always at his side, supporting her, encouraging her, smiling at her wherever they went, waiting for her to notice his feelings at some point despite going out with a different girl every weekend. She knew him for years and sometimes she trusted in him more than herself. He was the first to look for her when something went wrong, to comfort her when his father treated her like he used to do, to call her immediately when her mother made an appearance in her life, no matter how late it was. Ren was her confidant, her protector, her bodyguard, her right hand, a good friend.
That.
A good friend, a friend.
How could she? How could she do that? How could she sleep at nights? She had a limit of things which she could bear.
Because that was the vision she had of him, that's how she saw Sakakibara Ren: As a friend. Nothing else, just that. She didn't feel nothing for him more than friendship and love, but it was not enough compared to what he felt for her.
She would never blush because of him, she wouldn't be until the late hours of the night with the phone in her hands debating whether to send him a message or not, she wouldn't count the minutes to see him, her heart wouldn't throb in her chest when thinking of him, she wouldn't be at every moment of the day at his side. She would never fall in love with him.
And yet, they were dating, she had the courage to look at him at the eyes and say "Yes". Yes to going out with him, saying she liked him /even if it was a lie), yes to be his girlfriend. They were a couple, they had been dating and she had dared to kiss him. Without feeling anything, wanting nothing, without that kind of appreciation toward him.
She was the worst. Gakushuu felt the worst, because despite not feeling that kind of appreciation for him, she liked him, he was her friend after all. She didn't want to hurt him, not like this, but she was doing it unconsciously. She was getting his hopes up, saying that she felt the same when in fact she was tricking him. And he didn't deserve that, because despite everything, he was still being considerate and kind, even though she didn't deserve that kindness. Those actions only made her feel more miserable than she was.
She shouldn't go out with him, she shouldn't do this to him. Why had she said "yes" that day?
Perhaps to forget.
Maybe in order not to think about the fact that Karma had started dating with Shiota.
Yes, surely.
She still remembered how betrayed and shattered she had felt that day. As if someone had thrown thousands of daggers at her back, across her chest and heart.
It was Karma who told her, braiding her long hair in her hands, giving her a kind of condescending smile, feeling superior for having "found a boyfriend before her", she said. But instead of focusing on that, her mind focused on how she felt ignored and betrayed, as if Karma owed her something, as if she should be with her instead of with Nagisa. And basically that was what she felt: Envy, jealousy, a senseless anger, a broken heart for which she couldn't find a reason or solution. She didn't ask herself when she came to feel that for Karma, or why she liked a girl, or why didn't she realize before going out with someone else. In her mind there was only "Why?" "Why him and not me?" An although there weren't answers for those questions, it seemed that she would destroy herself with them.
And then appeared Ren, with his smile, his kindness, his expected reaction on seeing her more serious than usual and his sudden concern for her welfare. And it was when she asked, "Why not? "What could go wrong?"
Yes. What could go wrong? She liked Karma, but she hadn't noticed that. Now, she was going out with Nagisa and she had lost her chance. Why not trying to forget? There were thousands of options, more redhead girls to go out with, but Ren was the first choice and the most affordable one.
So, in a desperate attempt to forget Karma, he threw herself into Ren's arms as if they were the only ones who could sustain her. It made sense, right?
Yes. In her privileged mind, it was like that.
But as always, Karma was determined to ruin her life. It didn't matter that the two already had boyfriend, it didn't matter that they had cut the few and nonexistent relationship that they had. Karma came as a breath again, chasing and demanding things that made no sense.
As those kisses, for example.
She hadn't counted how many times Karma kissed her. What did it matter? She had done it, they had done it. A lot of times, in a lot of places, having a boyfriend and being a few meters away from them, always being the result of a fight or a bad look, but still there. Why? No idea, it just happened. And it shouldn't, really shouldn't. But Asano couldn't stop it and, somehow, she didn't want to. Why would she want to stop kissing the girl she liked? What sense did that have? Although she tried, it was of no use. In addition, Karma was persistent, she didn't know why. She would never understand the redhead and why she had started it all. She was the one who did it, appearing out of nowhere and kissing her for no reason, then chasing her in all places and doing the same.
The worst thing is that they had never spoken about it, but it was better not to.
They were two girls were cheating on their boyfriends, unable to break up with them, kissing each other secretly. What would they talk about? Nothing.
As much as Asano would like an explanation to calm his restless heart, she didn't get one.
So she had to lock herself in the bathroom, to try to calm down.
Because when she kissed Ren in the corridor, at least to pretend she felt something, she didn't feel the same as when she kissed Karma.
She didn't feel the butterflies in the stomach, or sighs wanting to escape from her lips, nor the warmth and emotion of her chest. She felt nothing of that and she needed to think about what she did, or how to fix this mess, alone, sitting on a toilet, but alone. Because she couldn't break up with Ren and cause more damage than she was already causing, but she didn't want to stop kissing Karma. And it was when she was in the middle of the crossroad, when the redhead decided to show up with that horrible and unjustified attack of jealousy.
Gakushuu felt fizzy and she had to rest her elbows on the table to hold her head. There were a lot of doubts in her mind, too many unanswered questions, too much guilt to bear. She couldn't stay like that and didn't know how it would last.
She sighed heavily as she leaned over the table, her intention was taking the glass of water, but the worried look of Ren distracted her.
"Gakushuu?" He asked, worriedly.
She looked up hesitantly to look into his eyes while she had a serious expression.
"What?"
"Are you really okay?"
That sudden silence that seemed to last a few seconds, made his answer less credible.
"Yes." She said. "I've told you that I feel better."
Ren looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a confused expression.
"You have been quiet for a few minutes. What are you thinking of?"
"Oh, of nothing important." She lied with a soft smile. "I was just wondering what I'm going to do during the upcoming holidays."
That issue seemed to move the boy, who changed his concerned expression for a genuine smile and a glint of excitement in his eyes.
"Oh! That reminds me of one thing!" He exclaimed leaning forward with a slight blush forming on his cheeks.
"What?" She asked somewhat reticent.
"My uncle gave me a trip to a luxury spas during the holidays. He says I can take one person with me." He explained, nervous. "D-Do you like to come? You know, we would be alone."
Gakushuu remained silent, waiting, frozen to the nervous and somewhat excited expression Ren had. She didn't know what to say, her thoughts resumed to run quickly in her mind.
Oh god.
Oh god, no, no, no.
Was he asking what she thought that he was asking? Did he expect what she thought that he was expecting?
Yes, he did it. My god, she would have be very stupid not to know what Ren was really asking. And it was completely normal to do so, because they were dating, they were in that age and although Ren had never forced her to do anything, a luxury spa, both alone and unsupervised, was the atmosphere and the perfect excuse to come up with something more than just a kiss. That was what Ren wanted and she couldn't blame him.
But she couldn't accept, she couldn't. Please, what was she doing? Ren couldn't have sex with her, he couldn't do something like that with an opportunist, lying and fake girl like her. Ren deserved to do that with someone who really wanted to, with someone who wanted to accompany him, not with someone whose only excitement had been kissing in a Karaoke's bathroom with a girl and her boyfriend behind the door. No, she appreciated Ren enough as to do something like that to him.
She couldn't do that, she couldn't anymore. That was the straw that broke the glass.
"I..." She started to talk nervously. It was difficult to look at him and reject him like that, but she had no choice. It was rejecting him now or rejecting him in the spa when he was determined to get something more. "I can't."
"What?" Ren muttered confused and somewhat stunned.
"I can't, I can't." Asano repeated nervously. "Sorry, sorry Ren. I'm so sorry, but I can't."
The boy's lively expression and the gleam in his eyes seemed to die after that. He looked confused and somewhat guilty, as he was the one who was doing something wrong, as if he was the cause that Asano apologized many times.
"Did I do something wrong? Or...?" He began to ask, worried.
No, please. He hadn't done anything, he couldn't feel guilty of anything, it was useless to do so.
"No!" She exclaimed feeling more guilty than ever. "No, really no, it's just..."
She thought as she lowered her head and felt his sad eyes on her.
"It's not you, it's me." Asano thought mockingly, one of the best know and clichés phrases of the entire history of break-ups speaking in her mind. Although it was completely true. It wasn't Ren's fault, he was the kind of boyfriend any girl would be lucky to have, it was her fault for being such a disastrous and deplorable girlfriend.
"I'm leaving." She said decisively.
She got up quickly from her chair, causing a small rumble and leaving Ren slightly startled by the sudden movement. She didn't wait for him to say anything, she didn't want to hear him. She just wanted to get out of there. Grabbing her purse quickly and ignoring everything, she walked to the door, she had to get out of there.
"Gakushuu, wait!" Ren's voice was heard behind her.
She didn't care about it.
She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to see anyone. She needed to be alone, leave that place and lock herself the necessary amount of time to think about what she would do with all that.
She ended up running toward the exit, with her thoughts confusing her again and unconsciously moving her legs.
She left the place pushing the door, without hearing the shouts and footsteps behind her.
When she went outside and felt the raindrops beginning to wet her entire body, all she did was starting running down the street, wondering why she had to like someone like Karma.
Because it certainly was her fault.
~0.0~
"What are you thinking of?" Nagisa asked curiously as he looked at her anxiously.
Karma settled into her place, turned her head and stared back with boredom. After that, her amber eyes ignored him and focused on the glass of water in the table, which she had bought moments ago.
The taste of Asano's lips was tormenting her and she didn't know what to do to stop thinking about that, or that kiss, or Gakushuu in general. So the best option was lying Nagisa.
"It's nothing important." She said, causally.
The boy looked at her a little worried, suspecting that she was lying. His assumptions were completely true, but she wasn't going to admit it. Anything was better than telling Nagisa the truth.
"Really?" He asked again frowning.
No. But he was too kind to let things quiet if he knew them, so it was easier to say what he wanted to hear.
"Yes, really." She affirmed, taking a sip from her glass and squinting.
"Karma..." He started to say. "If something's bothering you, you know you can tell me."
The redhead put the glass on the table and looked at him seriously, analyzing and assimilating those words as she examined the quiet and reliable expression of the boy.
"I wish it were that easy." She thought reproachfully.
What did Nagisa want for her to tell him? As much as she told him, everything would en up turning into a disaster for them. There was no way they finished well after this, it may happen sooner or later, but everyone was going to suffer. Both she, as Nagisa, as Asano and Ren.
The poor guys were into something that was none of their business, but the girls's actions had ended up dragging them into that like idiots. And without realizing it, Nagisa said that she could count on him for anything.
Really? For anything?
Liar.
If Karma revealed the truth and said she was in love with Asano, that she had started out with him to make her jealous and she had finished deceiving him with her when she realized that her relationship with him didn't affect her, Nagisa would feel miserable.
Well, who wouldn't?
The day that Karma got up and realized that she liked the chairman's daughter, she was raised to left the country and live in Russia for a while. Then, when she calmed down, she thought that it couldn't be that bad, she could just ignore those feelings.
But it was very difficult.
Because if she liked Asano in that way, it was for many reasons. Among them, that she was the strongest, auto-sufficient, manipulative and supposedly perfect girl that she had never known. That, wanting it or not, had drew her attention from the beginning. She had never seen anyone able to pass all subjects and then fighting a black belt as a hobby. Well, Asano did it, and not only she did it well, but also, she was hopelessly beautiful in every one of her actions. No matter the day or time when she observed her, she was cute and radiant, always. And it didn't matter how many fakes smiles she had, because even having seen the other side of her, she still looked amazing in all aspects.
So ignoring her growing admiration and feelings for her, was not an option.
To make it worse, after absorbing what she felt and starting to approach her in order to observe her more closely, she had to start taking into account the tension between them and the way they behaved with each other. Because it wasn't normal, it had never been, they should have realized it before. That being aware of what was the other girl doing was something obsessive, and being angry when someone tried to enter in their complicated world, was something weird to be only rivals. And when Karma was aware of it, she didn't do nothing to wonder why, why Gakushuu didn't say anything? Or she didn't want to, or she didn't know anything. And the second option was the right one, because although Gakushuu was very intelligent, she didn't know how to distinguish her emotions and the saucy glances she threw into her body.
So, out of her imaginative and hopeful mind with her desperation to get something more from the girl, she told herself: "If Asano don't realize how much she likes me, I'll have to give her a push." How do it? With jealousy. Was it a good idea? Not at all, she felt silly. It was one of the stupidest decisions she had made in her life, and she was saying a lot considering that she had been the one who had thrown off a cliff to kill her new teacher.
She dragged Nagisa to a problem that wasn't his, accepting the proposition that he made her a long time a go to go out with him. Although she didn't feel the same, even if she were using him, it was all to make Asano jealous and to know if she felt the same.
Obviously when she told her and she saw the expression on her face, she knew that it didn't work. And the next day, when someone told her that Asano and Ren had started to date, she was more than sure.
Her strategy to make her jealous failed and she threw her into the arms of another boy.
But was she going to surrender? No, never. Because even though Gakushuu was with that womanizer, the hurt gleam in her eyes when she talked to her about her relationship with Nagisa, had been etched in her mind, preventing her from reasoning and without wanting to give up on obtaining her love.
So she continued to insist. She kept going to visit her, bothering her, daring her, making her nervous, wanting to see her cute face of annoyance. Everything while ignoring the fact that they were going out with someone and Asano couldn't hate her. She didn't care about anything, she had nothing to lose.
Finally, that little persecution for her part ended in unexpected kiss in the high school bathrooms. And that kiss ended in two, three, four and then she lost the count. Both momentarily stopped thinking and ended up lying to their boyfriends and everyone, including themselves.
But that was irrelevant to Karma, because being honest, she would say that for getting a kiss from Asano, it didn't matter what she had to do. She had already lied to her best friend to go out with her, she had lied to the girl who she liked saying that she cared about her boyfriend, she had lied to everyone.
They never talked about it, but the redhead didn't need words. They knew what they were doing and how it would finish. And if Gakushuu never did anything to push her and wriggle out of her kisses, that meant that she also felt something, that was enough to encourage her to continue doing so.
But that didn't mean that Karma couldn't lose her temper, because when she came to the karaoke a few minutes ago and saw these two kissing in the hallway, and then Asano locked herself in the bathroom with an apology, made her furious. She didn't hesitate for a second to follow the girl and blame her for things that didn't care, to finally end up kissing as usual.
She felt stupid.
Gakushuu was right. She didn't have anything to complain about. Her behavior in the bathroom was something she had to regret, she knew it. Because both of them had a boyfriend, the two were dating, the two had their lives. Who was she to reproach her for what she did with Ren? She was the first who was dating Nagisa, she was the one who pushed Asano to go out with the other boy, she also had a date that night. What right did she have to treat Asano like that? None, because she was nobody. Absolutely no one.
That was her problem, that was her biggest problem.
Despite jealousy, despite kissing, she was nobody to Asano, she never would be anything, not anymore. She had become that annoying and almost controller rival who kissed and shouted her for nonsense. They never came to nothing, because the two already had that "something". That something that should be between them, but as consequence of their behavior they had it with others.
And it was that night, in which Karma looked herself in the mirror after kissing Asano and she noticed how much her chest hurt, along with the image of Asano smiling to Ren while she was pretending that everything was right, when she realized how badly she had acted and the terrible consequences of her actions.
"I'm hurting her." She thought. "I'm hurting them."
Yes, she was doing it. And it was horrible.
Her attitude, typical of a proud brat had led her to hurt three people. And one of them was the girl who she was in love with.
He felt bad, for everyone. Mainly for Asano. And now in her head, as she went over and over the options she had to make things right with her, she just had a unique solution: Confess the truth to Asano.
Tell her that she liked her, why she had done everything. The girl deserved an explanation and she couldn't take more longer to give it to her.
Because no one could take it anymore. They were in the limit.
"I have to tell her, now." She spoke softly as she pondered seriously. She didn't know at what time she had grabbed the water glass, but now her hands clenched it tightly, as if it were the only way to channel her folly.
"What?" Nagisa asked beside her.
True, Nagisa was there. He had always been there, even though she had immersed him in her thoughts and her guilt, he refuse to leave.
Nagisa was too good to be with someone like her, whose unique purpose was to cause jealousy, like a cigarette butt throwaway.
"He doesn't deserve this." She berated herself.
She shook her head as she ran a fake smile while leaving the glass on the table.
"It's nothing, I was talking alone." She said naturally. "Lately I have many things to think about."
Nagisa nodded and looked deep in thought, that guy was more circumspect than he looked.
"Well, tell me about that." He answered. "I could help you."
"I don't think you could." Karma said quickly. She didn't want him to insist, she didn't want he to be so kind to her when she was using him.
"Why?"
"Because... You can't." She ended up saying as she looked down.
"I don't understand."
"It's difficult." She reproached.
It was a lot. A tense silence enveloped them, making the two silent in their own world.
The atmosphere became uncomfortable and gloomy. Karma felt the weight of gilt increasing on her back. In the end, it was Nagisa which ended up talking.
"It's not because of me, right?" He asked.
Karma looked up and met with his sad eyes, causing her to shrink in her place. Lying, she had to keep lying. She had no choice.
"What do you mean?" She asked trying to smile.
"The problem, it doesn't have to do with me." Nagisa declared lowering his head.
"What problem?" She asked starting to get nervous. "It don't have a probl..."
"It's Asano."
Karma froze, staring at him with surprise and feeling the panic flow throw her veins. No, he couldn't be saying that, Nagisa couldn't have known... Right? He was insightful and empathetic. But she had tried to keep everything in secret, sometimes more than others, but she thought she hadn't made any mistake.
Except that night, in which she hadn't paid attention to nothing apart from Gakushuu and her figure entering the bathroom.
"Karma, please." Nagisa finally said with a sigh. "I..."
Karma was fully aware of what he was going to say, expectantly to his words, trying to find an excuse that could justify it, whatever he wanted to say. Neverteheless, before the boy could finish his sentence, a small bang and scream distracted them, making team revolve and pay attention to the scene.
"Gakushuu, wait!" Ren shouted somewhat desperate.
When they wanted to realize, Asano's figure had been running in front of them, clutching her purse, staring at the ground and heading for the exit door quickly.
Nagisa turned silent, stifling a gasp in his throat. On the other hand, Karma, realizing what was happening, she didn't hesitate a second to get up hastily, pushing the table and taking her belonging without thinking.
She listened how her glass fell down and broke into pieces, but she didn't care. She just had to follow Gakushuu, she had to go with her, follow her, reach to fix all that mess, tell her the truth, apologize for everything that she was causing, she couldn't stay there any longer.
Also starting to run towards the exit, she came to see how Ren also headed to reach Asano. But no, too late. The only one who could reach her was her, he wouldn't do it not even if he tried with all his strength.
So she turned around and looked at him seriously, threatening and hinting to let them alone, she knew that if Asano had run, it was also Ren's fault.
Ren stood still, looking at her surprised, but without leaving his place.
"Karma?" Nagisa asked somewhat confused as he stood beside Ren, he had also followed her to see what was happening.
"Leave us alone." She said seriously.
She didn't care about what they had thought, they could imagine what they wanted or what they already knew. Her presence would only be a hindrance to them, whether they wanted it or not.
So she turned her back to them, clenched her fist and started running again, hoping to reach Asano.
She pushed the door in the same way Asano did and searched with her gaze her short orange hair along the raindrops.
She couldn't be far.
~0.0~
The night had become dark, the dark clouds had covered the entire sky, leaving a view of the dull and boring city. The raindrops fell sharply and echoed rhythmically as they hit the ground and buildings. Puddles of water were becoming larger as the seconds passed and people had taken refuge to avoid getting wet.
Asano, who had left the karaoke a few minutes ago, was angry, wet, soaked to the skin and shivering. And yet she didn't want to stop walking quickly.
Crossing her arms across her chest, Gakushuu blew one of her wet strands of hair away from her face, thinking carefully where to go.
She had nowhere to go, she didn't know what to do. If she arrived home in that state, her father would ask questions that she didn't want to answer and she would end up in a big problem; Ren's house also was out for obvious reasons and she hadn't more people to trust in.
"Maybe..." She thought of Karma for a moment, but it was impossible. "No, what are you thinking? You can't go with her, she's the cause that you're like this."
She sighed heavily and shrugged due to the cold, she had to find a solution, but she couldn't think well at that time. She was dying because of the cold, she was damp, uncomfortable because her clothes clung to her body and still confused from what happened in the karaoke.
She stepped forward, thinking to continue walking around the city until she knew what to do or until it was late enough to go home and her father didn't ask anything. But before she could leave, hurried footsteps sounded close to her and splashed on the puddles on the ground, brought her into panic.
"Please, don't come to me." She thought, desperate.
She didn't want anyone follow her, she didn't want company. She wanted to be alone and try to solve her problems, it wasn't difficult to understand.
Although apparently to Karma it was.
When someone grabbed her arm and pulled hard to bring her back, and the first thing Asano saw were the strands of her long red hair, she wanted to run more than ever.
Closing her eyes, Gakushuu moved her arm and shook off her grip with strength, making Karma loosen an exclamation. Perhaps that reaction wasn't expected, but when the girl turned around to run, Karma reached to grab her again, determined not to let her go.
"Wait!" Karma shouted, nervously, making her voice resonate between the rain's sound.
"Leave me alone!" Asano answered, moving her arm again to escape from her. "Get off me! Go away!"
"No, listen to me!"
Karma clung to her arm harder and Gakushuu just tried to push her more forcefully. She wanted to escape from her, she didn't want to see her, not after everything that had happened.
"I don't want to talk to you!" She shouted angrily.
Karma growled low and frowned. Well, what was she expecting? Asano had enough reasons to not wanting to see her in years. But she still couldn't let her go, she couldn't leave things like that.
Her heart pounded hard, her nerves were skin-deep and the cold she had felt all the way had seemed to have vanished when she held on to the other girl. Although rain was drenching them, neither seemed to care.
"I know! I understand it!" She said trying to make her reason. "Just calm down, listen to me!"
In one swift motion, Karma managed to grab the other arm of the girl. She pulled it and ended up in front, looking her nervously and expectantly.
"I don't want to calm down, I don't want to listen you!" Gakushuu said angrily. "Leave me right now!"
"I can't, Gakushuu. I just..."
"No!" The other girl shouted. "This is your fault! Everything is your fault!"
Karma was silent, tempted to lower her head and drop the other girl's arms. It hurt, but she was right. Everything was her fault and it was too late to amend it, the damage was done.
"Look what you've done!" Gakushuu said. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why?
"I just..."
"No! Why?! What's the point?!" She interrupted quickly. "What led you to do this?! Why the hell did you do it?! This was started by you and I don't know why I followed your game! I don't know what to believe!"
Taking advantage of the amazement of the redhead and how she had been thinking of an answer, Gakushuu pulled back their hands to get rid of her and to leave.
"I'm leaving." She said decisively and without daring to look at the other. "I'm not going to let you take advantage over me. If you want a girl to kiss, get another one."
She turned once again, beginning to shiver from the cold and feeling broken inside. Things wouldn't be like this, it shouldn't end like this. But even knowing that, she couldn't continue with that situation, she felt used and miserable. Being Karma's puppet and then turning Ren in her puppet, as a vicious circle in which everyone became manipulative and wounded.
She tried to leave that place, but Karma's voice stopped her.
"I like you!" Karma shouted.
Gakushuu stood still, staring ahead and assimilating what she had heard in her mind. Those words seemed to sound like an echo in her head, triggering her to stop breathing for a moment. Her hands trembled, but this time it wasn't for the cold. The sound of rain seemed to calm down around her and the girl turned her head slowly to look at Kara expectantly, as if she were waiting for those words again to make sure if it had really happened.
Her violet eyes met with amber ones, who watched her serious, even though its owner was soaked and with a nervous expression as she clenched her fists.
"What?" She asked confused to make sure she had heard right.
"I like you." Karma repeated again. "This is why I can't get another girl, I can't be with anyone."
"You're with Shiota." Gakushuu reproached as she shook her head. She couldn't internalize what she was hearing.
"It isn't true..." She said. But then, she seemed to think for a moment. "Well, yes. But I'm not with him because I like himn that way, I only see him as a friend."
"Friends don't have dates." Gakushuu answered with some resentment.
"I know, I know. But..." Karma sighed. "I don't want to go out with him, I want to go out with you."
Gakushuu suppressed a sigh and tried not to drop a "And why don't you just do it? But she knew that Karma couldn't explain herself well.
"I-I've liked you for a long time and... I thought that if you saw me with someone else, you would do... something. I don't know." She shook her head and looked at her pleadingly. Now that she was hearing herself and her reasoning, she felt really stupid. "This is why I said yes to Nagisa. But when I realized that it didn't work, I had no choice but to continue to insist with you."
Gakushuu squinted and looked thoughtfully, absorbing her words and thinking what to say about them. If she thought about it, it all made perfect sense, and most of Karma's actions were explained, but Gakushuu could only give one answer.
"You're an idiot." She said bluntly.
"Eh?"
"You're a fool. Who in their right mind thinks that something like this would work?"
"W-Well..."
"Who do you think I am? Were you really convinced that I was going to do something? She asked angrily. "You know the only thing that it was useful for? To make me feel in despair and to make me go out with Ren. For that."
"Well, you don't look very upset with him..." Karma muttered something, jealous.
"That I don't let see my distress, doesn't mean that I didn't feel it." She answered sadly. "Ren is my friend, I don't see him as something else too and I'm playing with his feelings. And that's your fault."
"I didn't ask you to go out with him! I wanted you to go out with me!"
"How would I know it If you never told me! You already had Shiota for that!"
"But that didn't mean you had to go out with another person compulsorily! If you don't like Ren, why are you with him?
"How I would forget you then?!"
Gakushuu shouted that angry, anxious and with a disappointed air. Revealing to Karma how much had that little game of jealousy had affected and hurt her. Contrary to what the girl had thought, Asano hadn't thought that she expected, which is that she would do anything to get her back if she got out with Nagisa. No. Asano resigned, conceded defeat and stepped aside, thinking that if Karma was happier with Nagisa, she had to let them live their lives. And that way, willing to forget, she had thrown herself fully into a relationship that she didn't want, in an effort to stop thinking about her. And she had even shattered that.
Karma looked at her surprised, reflecting on her words and drawing conclusions slowly, finally reddening slightly and murmuring with a hopeful air:
"You like me right? She asked with some shyness.
Gakushuu looked at her resigned, gritting her teeth and pulling another strand of hair away from her eyes. The rain seemed to fall increasingly harder.
"What do you think? Draw your own conclusions and decide what you will do based on that. I don't think I can think about it anymore." She answered angrily.
"Just... Don't forget me." The redhead said quietly.
"What?"
"Don't forget me, don't force yourself to do it with another person." She looked down somewhat embarrassed. "Although, I think if you followed my game is because deep inside you like me and you didn't want to ignore our relationship."
"Our relationship?" Gakushuu asked raising an eyebrow.
"Yes... Our relationship."
"What kind of relationship are we supposed to have?" She asked.
Karma seriously looked at her and then sighed with a quiet smile. The way her amber eyes looked at her, made the words to be left over and their hearts to jump. Gakushuu tried to ignore the warm feeling that spread inside her chest, but when Karma approached to her, that became impossible.
Karma held Asano's face again in her hands, this time with a delicacy and softness that she had never used before. Although the rain was drenching them, their hands, their hair, their face and their whole body was wet and cold the touch of the other made them feel warm against that depressing and desolate atmosphere.
With a small smile, it was Gakushuu who ended up bowing to raise her lips for the second time in the day. Although unlike the first, this kiss was gentle, quiet and full of feeling. Making both close their eyes to enjoy the sensation, her pulse fired, they felt the butterflies in their stomachs and emotion flooding them, to smile shyly and concerns to gradually dissipate.
Winding her arms around Gakushuu's neck, Karma drew her body tenderly to feel her silhouette against hers, stifling a sigh and feeling ecstatic, While Gakushuu, caught the redhead's soft lips in her own and felt its taste after embracing her waist and feeling how the cold she had felt before had already vanished. Then, she raised her hands to the other's face to caress her cold cheeks slowly and entangle her fingers in her wet hair, relaxing her and making her smile against her lips. Their warm breaths clashed and they embraced each other regardless of where they were, they were only kissing, concentrated in the way they had long desired. No lies between them, transmitting to them the affection that they had repressed since they met.
They barely separated, without wanting to leave the other's lips, catching their breaths and watching the flushed and cheerful expression on the other's face with admiration and how their wet hair was framing their faces. That seemed to have dispelled their doubts and suffering, even a little.
"To my house. Now." Karma said taking her hand and starting to drag her towards the wet street, without any question or doubt on her answer.
Gakushuu only reached to nod, squeezing her hand tightly and looking tenderly at the way Karma ran down the street dragging her and how her hair shone because of the raindrops and street lights as it moved due to hasty steps.
That night was going to be special.
~0.0~
It was a buzz of her phone that woke her.
An annoying and somewhat strident buzz, that made her open her eyes heavily and moan kind of lazily.
Gakushuu looked to her right wearily, watching around the room in which she was: Karma's bedroom, which had the blinds down, their clothes lying on the floor and some cozy and homely atmosphere.
She tried to find out where that buzz came from, which sounded strangely familiar.
After blinking a few times, she established her position and realized that she was lying on her back in bed, on her underwear and with the soft sheets covering her body, giving some warmth. After that, she looked at the nightstand and finally learned that the buzz she heard came from her phone, which she had left there at night.
He reached out her hand quickly to hold it, but at the moment she did, the mobile silenced, implying that the caller had hung up. This made Gakushuu lit the device screen to see what was happening. The display light blinded her a little, but when she saw it all, she opened her eyes in surprise and stopped breathing for a moment.
Two o'clock in the afternoon. A little late to get up, at least for her.
143 missed calls from his father.
"I'm dead." She thought, panicking.
How could he have called her so many times? No one knew, but the chairman was determined to find her.
Wel, it was normal. She had spent the night outside, after all... with Karma.
At the time she thought that, she felt how her cheeks blushed. She had a reason to do so, as she was on underwear, on the bed of the girl she liked, with her body a few centimeters from hers and with the thoughts of last night in her head.
The memories of how they came to her house holding hands, how they crossed the hallway of her home while kissing and losing their clothes slowly, how they got to bed, with the passionate kisses, the daring caresses, the moans of pleasure, sighs, their skins rubbing and covered with sweat and their smell spreading through the room. Getting rid of the cold that the weather had given them and drying their wet bodies in their own way. Being exhausted and sleeping in any position until the morning, smiling with understanding and talking about how much it had cost them to get there, and what they had felt during the time they had spent with "their boyfriends".
"No, no. Stop thinking." She told herself shaking her head on the pillow.
Slowly and in a lazy way, she turned her head to the left to look at Karma, which, supposedly, was still asleep.
However, she was a little surprised when she looked at the girl and she was awake. Watching her intently and somewhat absorbed in her world.
She was lying on her side with her elbow on the pillow to support her head and look at her more easily. Her long hair framing her face and falling on the mattress like a red cascade, a slight smile on her face and in underwear, covering the... Little and almost nonexistent bust she had. But she had despite being flat, Karma had something and she could confirm it after the night before, in which she had touched it she had touched and seen in many ways after all.
But ignoring Karma's undeveloped breasts, it was something strange that she hadn't said anything since she woke up and looked at her phone. And it was much more strange than ever now that she was looking at her curiously.
Gakushuu was about to say something, to make Karma notice her presence. However, as soon as she realized what Karma was looking at, she decided to keep quiet.
Karma's eyes were glancing directly at her...
Yes, her breasts.
She knew it. She should have seen it coming.
She didn't know what kind of fixation could have Karma with her breasts, it's true that were voluptuous and had a larger size than the normal among the girls of her age, but perhaps Karma saw in her chest what she didn't have herself. Who knows. It was true that it wasn't the first time she caught her looking at her chest in that way, she did it often, almost undisguisedly, without pretending that she wasn't doing that. But she didn't think that she'd like them that much to spend a few minutes without knowing what was happening in her surroundings.
Besides, that look it was starting to get her nervous, so she decided to intervene.
"Good morning." She said, nonchalantly.
Karma awoke from her reverie and looked her at her somewhat surprised, tensing and directing her eyes to her face quickly.
"Since when are you awake?" She asked, a tad alarmed. No, she couldn't hide that.
"Since a long time." Gakushuu answered with a smile. "What were you looking at?"
Well, that was obvious. She didn't have to answer.
Karma turned silent and without any remorse she looked back at her breasts, pausing for a moment to appreciate the dark bra that covered her and how it contrasted so well with her fine white skin. After that, she blushed furiously and turned on the bed, covering her head with the sheet, in an attempt to hide her embarrassment.
"N-Nothing." She muttered between the sheets as she suddered.
Gakushuu sighed heavily and looked at her wearily. She couldn't believe that after spending the night together, now Karma was ashamed to admit that she was looking at her chest. And even more when that night she seemed to have enjoyed them.
But that didn't matter.
"Karma, please." She said wearily. "If you want to do something, just do it."
It was like a kind of permission to her, which made slowly turn her head and look at her cautiously, as if she were thinking of doing something that she had long been repressing.
"I can?" She asked curiously.
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"It would be strange."
"It doesn't matter."
"Really?"
"Yes."
Before she could do anything, Gakushu felt how Karma turned around suddenly, got rid of the sheets and lunged at her to wind her arms around her back, burying her head between her breasts. She buried her face in them as if they were a pillow, settling between them, rubbing her face against them and breathing in the scent of the girl with a smile.
Gakushuu looked surprised and puzzled, not knowing what to do about the situation. Not everyday someone buried her face in her bra and fondled her breasts with her face just for fun.
Noticing the state of the girl, Karma looked at her for a few seconds and separated a few centimeters to speak.
"I've wanted to do this since the moment I knew you." She declared with a shameless smile.
"It's a joke?" Gakushuu asked, surprised. They had known each other for two years.
"No, really." The redhead answered naturally, admitting that it had been one of the fantasies that had been entertaining her in her lonely nights.
"Yes, you're right. It's so strange." Gakushuu said.
"But you let me, right?" Karma asked with a supplicant sparkle in her eyes that she couldn't refuse.
"Yes." She gave her permission, resigned.
Karma lowered her head again and settled between her breasts, sighing pleased.
Although the warmth and normalcy of that time, didn't make Asano forget about the issues that they had to solve.
"You and I... We're a couple now, right?" She asked, just to make sure.
"Yes." Karma answered, convinced.
"Which means that you have to break up with Shiota." The girl said.
"Yes." Karma answered again. "And you have to break up with Ren."
"Yes." Gakushuu admitted, nodding.
"But that means we have technically cheated on our boyfriends."
"Yes."
"Although we were cheating on them from the beginning."
"Yes."
"But now, that we've cleared up the misunderstanding, we must break up with them to continue our relationship."
"Yes."
"Okay."
"That's all very clear. What are you worried about?" Karma asked, confused. Neither was stupid, they knew things without saying them aloud, she thought that that didn't have any sense.
But Gakushuu had a very acceptable reason.
"My father called me 143 times and if we don't tell him everything, he will kill us."
Karma didn't respond, but the way in which her embrace became stronger, made obvious that she was also terrified.
Hi~
Well, okay. Karushuu Week Day 6, it's 4 a.m here and I need to sleep (?) The word this time was "Rain" and obviously, I had to write a kiss in the rain, it was necessary ~
About that one-shot, I know that everyone thought that it was a yaoi, but if someone have readed me before, she/he might know that I love Fem!Karma and Fem!Gakushuu and I use to write them a lot. The last Karushuu week I only included Fem!Karma in a one-shot, but this time I want to do a Fem!Karushuu so (?) In addition, this was an idea that I had a time ago, when I readed that yuri manga which titled "NTR" too, yes, I wanted to do this since I liked the idea of two girls cheating their boyfriends to stay together xD This is my longest fic, 11.000 words... Yes, I'm proud of myself (?)
And that's all. I only hope that someone liked it ~
See you (~*-*)~~(*-*~)