Like Broken Glass
A Twilight Fanfiction
I was lost. And you found me. In a Philadelphian diner, one stormy night. I walked to you and you took my hand. You gave me hope – hope that I had not experienced in almost a hundred years. I looked into your eyes – dying ruby met the strangest topaz or was it amber, perhaps? And with those eyes, you sent me a feeling of joy, so intense that for a moment I deemed it to be a figment of my imagination.
You led me outside and I followed you in a dazed euphoria of ecstacy, lulled by the angelic glow of hope. I let you guide me away from the prying humans, humans who I had, despicably, longed to drink. I let you pull me into the shadows of the night – your hand, soft and comfortable was like a beacon to me.
And then you spoke! You told me of this elusive Carlisle and his coven; you illustrated me the lifestyle where I didn't need to kill, and that I could walk among those whose blood travelled richly in their veins without becoming a murder. You said that it was possible to feed off animals.
You said it might be difficult.
You told me that it took practice and that it would probably be a while before I could consider myself truly off human blood. But I ignored those warnings and I over overly desperate to succeed, disappointed myself.
It was a stray hiker who just happened to be unfortunate enough to cross the path of my hunt. Young, maybe only nineteen or twenty years old with blonde hair and hazel eyes. Her skin was fairly pale but a cluster of freckles were prominent on her left cheek. She was small built but well built, probably due to healthy exercise. She had a promising future in front of her; she would probably get married, have children and possibly grandchildren too.
And I killed her.
It had been an awful rush; it was similar to adrenaline except there was next to no way for me to control it. I remember that one minute I was chasing down this pack of deer while the next, I was sucking blood from the young lass's throat. And when I noticed this, I found myself recoiling instantly, as though a 5 tonne weight had been dropped into my stomach. Three thousand nine hundred and sixty three deaths and counting.
More blood. More killing. More destruction.
It was amazing how after decades of bloodlust, the taking of just one more human life made me fall apart. Like broken glass, I felt myself shatter with self disgust and loathing. Hating my own weaknesses, hating that I had failed myself and hating that I had failed you, Alice.
Yet somehow, you managed to put those pieces of me back together. You told me that this one human did not mean that I would never be able to achieve a 'vegetarian' diet. You gave me the strength to try again. To chase down some other animal. I managed to do that, all for you. I managed to drink the animal blood (no matter how unpleasant it tasted) and I watched my eyes change from crimson into amber and then topaz, all because of you.
Of course I had the bitterness of seeing my eyes turn back to red as well. But you guided me until these experiences became further and further apart. And you were always a consistent force by my side as I began to build up some tolerance.
Not only did you show me another way of existence, you showed me love. Not marriages of conveniences which rocked my home life, not lust which had been all Maria ever been capable of but love in it's purest form. With you and then later when we found the Cullens.
Before meeting the Cullens, my image of a clan of vampires was always an army. My army. The enemy's army. The frosty neighbour's army. But now, you gave me a new word to consider. A family. Of course I was sceptical at first; which sane person wouldn't be? And if it weren't for your persistence, I would have probably said "No, that type of thing doesn't exist, we should just forget about searching for it". Come to think of it, I think I did say that but now I'm glad that you didn't believe me.
And when we practically gate crashed their house, they didn't try to tear us to pieces like I assumed that they would. And I could tell from reading their emotions that they were genuinely golden hearted. You seemed to fit in straight away like a piece of jigsaw puzzle. How could people not accept you? You were always that Me, I took a little longer to adjust. But I think in time, I found a comfortable little nook for myself too.
I think they helped me further control my bloodlust. After all, how could I not look upon these people who had defied the laws of vampire nature and not realise if they could accomplish this, surely I could too? I tried, Alice. Not perfect, but I was getting better right? Must have been because soon I was able to join in this strange world known as high school; mind you, a world teeming with crazy, unpredictable humans.
Are you proud of me Alice? That I've managed to come this far? I've surprised myself with where I've gone since the day you met me in Philadelphia. How else would I be able to sit in a classroom of psychotic teenagers and be calm enough to write this note to you?
Alice, I love you. Without you, I would be still in a dark and gloomy place. I'd still be like broken glass; I'd still be the roaming madman who was feared by everybody, including himself. I'd be a nobody, a dark shadow. But I'm not am I? I have you, my sun, my light, and without doubt the most fantastic person I have had the great fortune of meeting.
I love you.
Forever.
~Jasper
So, this is my second attempt at capturing Jasper and Alice. What do you guys think? If you like this story, I'd advise you to check out my other Jalice story, Heartbreak Made Me A Killer - it's angstier and personally, I think it's worth reading. Anyways, please be kind and drop me a review. :D Also hoping you enjoyed this story.