7/18/2007

Disclaimer: I don't own the song "I Thought I Never Would Forget". It's written by Phil Vassar and Tim Nichols. It's performed by Phil Vassar. It's from Phil's 2002 CD called "American Child". I don't own House or Cuddy, David Shore owns them.

Rated: M. My apologies if House or Cuddy seem OOC. This story is un-beta'd.

A/N: I hope that this story makes sense, please let me know. Please R&R! Thanks!

It was Wednesday night, 10:00p.m. to be exact and House was in his bedroom. He never went into his room, except to sleep and have sex.

But this time he made an exception.

House sat on his bed; he wore a pair of old jeans, Nike Shox, and an old Stones t-shirt. House was a bit high from the Vicodin and a bit drunk from all of the Jack Daniels he had consumed earlier that evening. The only light in his room was from the lamp which was on a nightstand next to the bed. He looked at a cardboard box, filled with personal effects and he was listening to his I-Pod.

House listened to his I-Pod as he came across the song called "I Thought I Never Would Forget". It was by a country artist named Phil Vassar. House really liked country music, although he never told anyone. The first time he listened to the song, he knew that the song was written for him. It was the song that he listened to after he and Cuddy had broken up. It was the song he listened to tonight.

House and Cuddy had been together for 15 years, both as best friends and lovers. They started out as friends in University and then they became colleagues and lovers when House started at PPTH.

They had been together through it all: the aftermath of the infarction, Stacy, Vogler, Tritter, the fake brain cancer, essentially, everything. Through it all, they had had their fights and arguments. House would always say something sarcastic to piss of Cuddy even more or he would comment about her breasts or ass, knowing that would piss her off even more than when he was sarcastic. Though it all, Cuddy had taken the insults and sarcastic and sexual comments not to heart.

But there was one thing that she couldn't take personally. When House and Cuddy were together, House had helped Cuddy with IVF treatments, they didn't take. Cuddy was devastated. House was only doing this, because Cuddy asked him to, not because he really wanted to. When did House ever do anything he wanted to? Never.

They also tried to have kids the natural way, that didn't work either. They had been having constant fights about this, House's refusal to help Cuddy even more with wanting to have a baby and Cuddy's desperate motherly instincts to want to have a child.

The straw that broke the camel's back, was when House was working on a case and Cuddy had somehow gotten involved and House being House, was in a lot of pain, more pain that usual had yelled at Cuddy that it was a good thing she wasn't a mother, because the child she was caring for in this case was dying, which was her fault and that she'd make a horrible mother.

After this fight, Cuddy had left House without another word. When he had come home from PPTH later that day, all of her things were gone. Unlike Stacy, Cuddy left a note; House needn't be a genius to figure out why she had left him.

House did what he always did when he couldn't handle things, he got drunk. House got smashed that night and had done so every night since then. Wilson was House's drinking buddy and now his one and only friend.

Cuddy didn't know that House had kept a box of her personal effects in a cardboard box in his bedroom closet. And now he sat there listening to a song and reminiscing about his best friend and lover. He had been cleaning out his closet and found this box and he knew instantly what it was.

Using his I-Pod, he chose a random song to be played and 'I Thought I Never Would Forget" began to play. His mind drifted as he listened to the lyrics and as he picked up and looked at the personal effects in the cardboard box.

I went back in time today a box I thought

I'd thrown away

Had fallen off the basement shelf

I tripped and almost hurt myself

Scattered there across the floor

a New Year's Eve hat '94

Ticket stubs to Billy Joel and pictures

from the Sugar Bowl

Some of these souvenirs I remember

mostly I don't

Funny how time reduces a keepsake

to a footnote

House looked in the old, dusty, cardboard box and pulled out ticket stubs, a New Years Eve hat, and other odds and ends. He held the ticket stubs in his hand and remembered back to when he and Cuddy went to the monster truck rally show, that he loved so much. They both had had a great time. He had never seen Cuddy freak out so much, he loved seeing her like that. He smiled a little at this memory.

He picked up the New Years Ever hat and looked at it; it was green with blue polka dots on it. House remembered how Cuddy had made him wear it for a ridiculous picture that someone had taken at a New Years Eve party years ago. He refused to wear it until Cuddy said that she'd make him do six extra clinic hours that week if he didn't put it on. So he put it on, he hated wearing that stupid hat, but he hated doing clinic duty even more. Despite having to wear that ridiculously stupid looking hat, he and Cuddy had a pretty good time. He looked at the picture and he even had a smile a little, House looked at himself and saw a gruff, mean expression on his face. Meanwhile, Cuddy had a big smile on her face. He just looked pissed to have to wear the hat.

His mind drifted some more as he continued to listen to the song.

Chorus:

The wheres and the whens that meant

so much then

Have gracefully moved along

My memory had mercy on me and let me go on

Considering everything you meant I thought

I never would forget

House looked at the ticket stubs, New Years Eve party hat and other odds and ends he had laid on the bed next to the cardboard box. All of the good times that he had had with Cuddy were just that, memories, nothing more. He had thought that he had moved on, if you call moving on, getting smashed all the time, and having sex with hookers, then yes, he had clearly moved on.

Here's us dancing on your birthday

July 29th or 28th

The song was "Always and Forever"

I'm not sure but I remember

That's the night we first made love

the passion captured both of us

It held us, then it us free,

this is all that's left of you and me

A cardboard treasure chest with a diary

of two lovers

Now it's a dusty box no different

from the others

Repeat Chorus

House reached into the box and pulled out a bunch of pictures. He put them on the bed and looked at them. The first several pictures were of him and Cuddy; Cuddy had decided that she wanted to go dancing for her birthday.

Luckily or unluckily for House, this was the time, a few weeks after House had had the Ketamine treatment and so House had taken Cuddy out dancing for her birthday. Even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He'd much rather stay home and have sex.

Wilson had been the one to take the many pictures of he and Cuddy dancing. He smiled a bit at how beautiful, happy and relaxed she looked; her blue eyes were full of life and smiling.

He also smiled a bit at the memories they had made later on that night of their passionate love making that lasted all night long. His smile lingered on his lips as he recalled the taste of her kisses, the feel of her skin beneath his fingers, the smell of her freshly but still damp shampooed hair, the smell of the body lotion she used that he loved, and the way she called his name and so much more.

But that smile soon died just as quickly as it came as he came back to his senses and realized that all he had left was this cardboard box of memories to hold to and nothing more. He would never again see those smiling and often angry blue eyes, or taste and feel the power of her kiss. He would never again get the joy of seeing her lying naked next to him after they had just made love. He would miss her funbags, her ass, the tight suits she wore, the smell of her body lotion and shampooed hair. He would never again get the chance to hear her call his name when they made love or get to watch her sleep.

He was all alone and all he had left were these memories that wouldn't let him move on, even though on the outside he had made look as though he had moved on with the hookers and the drinking, but in reality, in his mind, he was still lonely and sad. And all he was left with was a life time of memories from these pictures, ticket stubs, New Years Eve hat, and other memories that filled his mind.

He put everything back in the box and hid it back in the closet, for yet another rainy day, just like this one. He would never move on and love anyone like he loved Cuddy ever again, thanks to the memories in that old dusty cardboard box and those in his mind.

He used his cane and went back out and sat on the black couch and got smashed once again, surely it wasn't the last time he'd ever get drunk. Life would never again ever be the same.