1: Intrigue.
It wasn't just the way my mum was holding me that gave a clear indication that she didn't want to let me go off to school this year, but by her constant reassurances that we could move back to Brazil any time I asked.
"I'll be fine," I assured her again and again, but she wasn't going to budge.
"Zara, you're father will give up his job-"
"He's worked too hard for it, I'll be fine" I put extra emphasis on the last word and pulled away from her embrace.
Really, I probably wasn't going to be fine. I loved Brazil, and when I'd found out that my father was going to apply for a job in England, I almost died. When he actually got the job, I think I did die. And now I was sure that I was in hell.
My family didn't originate from South America, but I had lived there since I was one. My mother and father are originally from England and moved to Brazil because they wanted a change in lifestyle. I had grown up in the sun, at the beaches and around the sprawling, bustling cities. My school was not a big castle set around various lakes and mountains but rather a relaxed, drawn out area of blistering heat and rainforests nearby.
A loud whistling noise signalled that the train was about to leave. I smiled brightly at my mother, hoping that it convinced her enough.
"You'll send me an owl if anything happens to you, alright?"
I nodded dutifully,
"Yes, mum."
"You don't have to do this."
"I want to mum, really." Not really, actually, but I had been repeating this same phrase for the last half-hour that it had begun to sound like reality.
"Alright, I love you."
"I love you too." I kissed her cheek and hurried to the carriage nearest to me. I probably should have checked where other people of around my age had been going to, but the train had begun pulling away just as I stepped on. I waved goodbye to my mother until the train swept around a corner and the station was out of sight.
It was then that I realised I was standing in an empty corridor, and that everyone else had obviously made their way into compartments. I stood there for a few more moments, tugging nervously on the drawstrings of my sweater, as I debated over and over in my head what to do. I hadn't been so nervous back home, not so much as I was now. I had always looked at 'new kids' as outsiders who didn't really understand what they were doing until about six months into their new life. My heart began to pump unnaturally loudly, I thought I could hear each beat echo off the cramped hallway.
I peered into a compartment just a few meters ahead of me, but could only see the legs and feet of someone. I straightened and sighed, wondering how long I was going to last before I took to sitting on the floor for the rest of the trip. Surely, that would be better than intruding on a group of people I had never met before.
I was startled when a door from a compartment behind me slid open. It was not so much the noise that startled me though, but the girl who stepped out from it. She was very pretty, with brilliant green eyes and long, shiny red hair. But she was very different. My impression of her was probably built upon having spent a majority of my life living with exotic, dark-haired girls who had intimidated me since I knew what it meant to be good looking. I, myself had always been considered somewhat of an outsider where I had gone to school, there were only a few of us obvious foreigners who bore pale skin and pointed features. Unlike my father, who tanned very well, I looked very much like my mother. We had the same, wide, doe-like eyes and it was probably my look of shock that was always enhanced by these features that surprised the girl who had stepped out of the compartment.
"Oh, hello," she said, obviously taken aback, but she smiled warmly. "You must be the new student here… I saw you with your mother on the platform and thought I didn't recognise you. Dumbledore told me you would be coming."
It took me a few seconds to process what she had said, for I didn't expect so much conversation from someone who I hadn't ever seen before. I must have looked quite dazed, because she smiled encouragingly at me and prompted, "I'm very sorry, but I've forgotten your name, Dumbledore wrote it in the letter and everything…"
I finally found my voice,
"Zara Hamilton."
"That's right," the girl smiled even wider, "I'm Lily Evans, the Head Girl this year. I'm sorry, really, I should have tried harder to remember your name, but I was a bit overwhelmed by getting my badge."
She pointed to a shiny badge that she wore near her chest and I smiled vaguely at her,
"That's fine…"
Lily looked past me and then back to my face,
"Are you alone?"
I was embarrassed immediately, I felt my cheeks flush hotly and that embarrassed me even more.
"I was just…" I trailed off, trying to find some sort of excuse to explain why I was standing in a deserted corridor by myself. "I'm actually lost." Honesty wasn't so hard after all, although the heat in my cheeks persisted.
"I should've known that you wouldn't have a clue about who anybody is," Lily sighed to herself, "You're very welcome to join my friends, if you want. I have to go to a meeting in a minute but I'll introduce you to the girls right now, just follow me…"
Somehow, only a few seconds later, I found myself squashed between Lily and the opening to the compartment she had been sharing with her friends.
"This is Zara, she's new here" Lily said, and then –I must have missed her goodbye- she was gone.
"You'll get used to that."
Another voice came from inside the compartment, and I smiled nervously.
"Sit down, we don't bite."
The girl nearest me flashed a bright smile, pointedly showing off her teeth, and gestured to a spare space opposite her. I moved quickly and sat down, folding my hands in my lap as the three others stared at me intently. They were all quite pretty, two of them wore their hair long and blonde –they could've been sisters- and the other had short, brown hair. I suddenly felt quite intimidated, I wasn't like either one of them, what would they think of me?
"Hi" I said, realising I hadn't actually said anything yet. They must have noticed the slight accent I'd brought with me from my adopted home and the girl who had spoken first asked me,
"You must be foreign, where do you come from?"
"Brazil, but I wasn't born there. I come from England originally…"
"That explains your voice" she nodded, "I'm Angie, that's Emma, and that's Nicole"
The girl who had joked that they didn't bite was Nicole and Angie was seated beside her. Emma was sitting next to me. I smiled back at them all, unsure of where to take the conversation.
"You went to school in Brazil?" Emma assumed. Her voice was quiet; I noticed a small journal in her lap.
"Yeah," I nodded, "It's very different there, very warm."
"You don't look so tan" Nicole observed, tilting her head slightly at me. I smiled wistfully,
"I don't tan, my skin is very temperamental."
I looked at the three girls and noticed that even though they still bore pale, stereotypical English skin, they still glowed a little from their summer holiday. In my mind, I sighed. In the sun at Brazil, my skin looked somewhat nice; in this dull, grey weather it looked sickly.
"So have you met anyone else, yet?" Angie asked, interest lighting her eyes.
"Uh…" I thought about the legs I had seen in the compartment I'd spied into. "No, not really…"
"Good," Nicole grinned, "We'll tell you everything."
It went on like that for the rest of the trip. Lily returned shortly after I'd met the other three girls and we'd maintained a steady flow of conversation until night had settled on the day. It was only just over an hour after that when the Hogwarts Express pulled up at the station. I was standing in my robes, waiting to get off the train –I had been sorted before the school term started, the Headmaster had saved me the embarrassment of joining the first years in the annual ritual in front of everyone else- and I was relieved to find that I was in the same house as the other girls. Settling in would've been ten times harder if I hadn't been.
"C'mon, we have to run now!" Angie announced, and she grabbed my hand before I even knew what she was talking about. I stumbled while I tried to run behind her as we all weaved through the mass of students piling off the train. I had no idea where we were going until we stopped at the edge of all the bustle, where there stood dozens of horseless carriages. I climbed into one behind the others, and expected to wait for a horse or another creature that would come and pull it. We jerked forward though, it was moving at its own accord.
"Whoa!" I grabbed the edge of the carriage as the others giggled at me.
"Don't worry, this is normal." Lily assured me, smiling. I nodded vaguely.
I had to admit, as we passed through the gate into the Hogwarts grounds, that the castle was quite beautiful. It was huge, of course, and it was then that it suddenly dawned on me that I'd have to find my way around the thing. I prayed that I'd have classes with the other girls. I think they were watching me as I tried to take in the details, because when I looked back at them they were watching me with slight smiles.
I was the last to climb out of the carriage, and I followed the others up the front steps of the school and in through the doors into an enormous entrance hall. The others walked confidently through the crowd of students around them. I noticed that Lily was most confident; she was almost trying to show off to everyone else that she was wearing the Head Girl badge. Nicole and Angie were talking in low whispers to each other and Emma seemed to be off in her own world. I felt slightly rude, intruding into their group. They had been going here for six other years together and now I was here to intrude on their last.
"Hurry up, Zara," Angie laughed as she turned to find me a few paces behind. She stopped and waited for me to catch up before she said, "You're very safe with us, trust me."
I looked at her, wondering if she had been serious when she'd said that. What else was there to worry about? Still frowning as we entered the Great Hall, I made sure I stayed close by as they made their way to their seats. We were near the middle, and this gave me a good opportunity to watch as the other students filed into the Hall.
Everyone seemed glad to be back. There were groups of girls, and groups of boys who were all chattering away that created a consistent hum within the room. I tried to figure out from height as to who might be in their seventh year, but there were far too many people to look at. I spotted the Slytherin table, across the hall, and was a bit surprised. Nicole had told me that they were a surly bunch but I didn't expect to see such curt expressions on their faces as they took their seats. The Ravenclaw's and Hufflepuff's were not unlike the other Gryffindor's; they looked genuinely relieved to be back. Emma had commented that for most of the students, Hogwarts was just like home. The talking started to die down and before long the Hall was quiet.
The sorting of the first years took place, and I was glad to have not been subjected to that humiliation at my age. It would have been bad enough when everyone else form your year had to do it, let alone when you were the only one. The Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, addressed all the students, with a slightly odd sort of speech, and then the feast begun.
It was then, while I was placing some roast potatoes onto my plate, that I first saw them. The other girls mustn't have noticed my vacant face as I stared down the table, for what seemed like ages. There were three of them –and another- but the three who caught my eye were who held my attention. They were unlike any other boys I had seen –nothing like the boys at my school in Brazil. They were all lean, yet one was more muscled than the other two. Two of them had black hair and the other was a fair blonde. I was studying them closely; they laughed a lot and had the ability to eat almost three times more than any of the other students around them. They were absolutely devouring the contents of their plates, yet they still were oddly beautiful. All three of them. Their companion would probably not look so bad by himself, but surrounded by these boys he was no match.
"You don't eat much, Zara," Angie noted, and I was torn from my wonderment.
"Huh?"
Nicole chuckled, and asked,
"What were you looking at?"
My eyes darted back to the three boys down the table for a second, before I asked,
"Who are they? Down the table?"
Lily glanced at the people who were sitting down from us, and she didn't need to ask who I was talking about. I was glad to find that I wasn't the only one who had noticed them.
"The Marauders," she said, "they're in our year."
Nicole was grinning at me while I asked cautiously,
"The Marauders?"
"Yes," she nodded, "James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. They're the resident troublemakers at Hogwarts. Sirius is one of my distant cousins, twice-removed… or something along those lines."
"Sirius…?" I asked, unsure of whom each boy was.
"He's next to James, who's closest to us. They both have black hair. Remus and Peter are on the other side; Peter is the slightly… shorter one." I threw her an amused sideways glance; she had tried so hard to be respectful. I kept looking at them though, unable to tear my eyes away. The boy named Sirius was now talking very seriously to James, his head bent low. I could still make out his face though, very structured and slim. His wore his hair longer than the others, but he still held a very masculine attractiveness. His eyes flickered up for a moment, meeting my own. I was startled, and I looked down quickly. My heart was beating furiously against my chest; I could feel heat rising in my cheeks.
"They're very… good-looking." I noted. It was quite an understatement.
Nicole chuckled,
"It wasn't going to be long before you noticed. Almost every single girl in school fawns after them, but Sirius and Remus aren't interested in anything serious and James only has eyes for one girl." She threw a very obvious look at Lily who seemed to be ignoring the jibe. Angie giggled and asked,
"Lily, have you spoken to James yet this year?"
"We're Head Boy and Girl," she said brusquely, "Of course we've spoken…"
Nicole leant across the table to me and whispered,
"If you haven't already noticed, the feelings between James and Lily aren't mutual."
I was quite surprised, really.
"Why not?" I asked, and Lily turned to me.
"They're not very nice, a lot of the time. Remus can be polite to most girls but the others have no real understanding of how to treat them."
I frowned, and glanced back down the table to them. They were all laughing again, and I didn't really understand where Lily's ideas had come from. Emma asked a question about subjects and the conversation was diverted for the rest of the feast.
I was very tired when we were told to head off the our common rooms, but still alert enough to keep track of the girl's conversation. We reached the portrait that was hiding the door to our common room in no time.
"Welcome to the Gryffindor common room," Angie announced, gesturing around. It was warm and cosy, but all I could think about right now was getting into bed. I think they felt the same, for we were up a staircase and through a door in no time. The dormitory was furnished in the same deep red and gold as the common room, and I took my bed beside the door. Angie was next to me, with Lily on the other side of the door.
Oddly though, when my head hit the pillow, I found myself wide awake. I stared into the darkness and listened for any signs that would indicate that the others weren't tired. My eyes began to adjust to the light, and I could see my hangings closed around me. I sat up very slowly, trying not to make a sound, and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Pulling the hangings back, I found Angie sitting on the windowsill, using the moon as a source of light as she read a novel. She looked up at the sound of my hangings moving, and smiled.
She shut her book and walked over to me,
"Let's go down to the common room," she suggested, just as awake as I was. Very smoothly, she opened the door of our dormitory and slipped out. I was right behind her.
"I don't sleep well," she explained as we walked down the stone stairs, "I don't need very much of it. It gets a bit annoying, sometimes I spend half the night up by myself. It's good around exam time, because Lily stays up just as long and we study together."
It was nice, just having to listen to someone tell their story. For once since the train tide, I felt as though I didn't have to do all the explaining. We sat down on the sofas next to the fireplace, opposite each other.
"So you read?" I asked, and she nodded,
"Yes, mainly muggle novels. I come from muggle parents, I wasn't born into a wizarding family. Neither was Lily, but Nicole and Emma are both from very old wizards families. As Nic said before, she's related to Sirius Black, I suppose Emma is too in some way. They're all distantly related, those families…"
"Sirius Black," I repeated, "Is he the same Sirius as we were talking about before?"
Angie threw me an amused look,
"Zara, how many other Sirius' do you know? Yes, he's the same one." I smiled back, trying to seem inconspicuous in my questioning. I don't think it was working though, Angie had already caught on. "You're interested, aren't you?"
"Isn't everyone?"
"Not everyone," Angie said, "Obviously, everyone was at first. Except Nicole, of course, she knew she was related so it was never something she thought about. I'm friendly with them all though, I don't find myself attracted to them anymore. I think it's like that sometimes, when you go through your entire school life with the same people, you see their flaws more often than their good parts. Especially being in the same house, we're practically living on top of each other for the year."
I had this to ponder over for the next few minutes, realising what she said was true. I'd never really had any romantic involvement with any of the boys at my old school and that was partly because I came to know them as good friends rather than boys I would like to date.
"They're not in for anything serious though, are they" I commented, and Angie sort of shrugged, as if she was undecided on the matter.
"James is, definitely. As Nic said before, he only has eyes for Lily and as much as she doesn't want to believe it, I think he's genuinely in love with her. I've always thought that Remus was very much like Emma, they're both quiet when they're in groups but if you're with them one-on-one, they're very chatty. Peter is quiet as well, he keeps mostly to himself and although he's different, the other boys still treat him just like a brother. Sirius, I'll admit, has been skating on thin ice lately. But I think that he could be a wonderful person to be with, contrary to what most others think. I've had the opportunity to talk to him by himself and he's a very mature person, his heart is in the right place."
I was intrigued, and I knew that my interest was not going to go away anytime soon. My interest in Sirius Black was beyond anything I'd ever felt before, and I hadn't even head him speak yet. I did feel inadequate though, when almost every other girl in the school was after him as well. I was sure that there would be girls here who would bring my self-esteem down just by looking at them. I was used to that feeling, at least. Angie must've noted the conflicting emotions crossing my face,
"There's nothing to worry about Zara, your secret is safe with me."
"Thanks…" I mumbled, because I suddenly felt very unwell. This usually happened when I was very tired, but the confusion of thoughts in my head only made it more intense. I clutched at my abdomen and Angie asked, panicked,
"Zara? Zara, what's wrong?"
She grabbed my shoulders as I began to keel over and then all was black.