Author's Note: Another idea from my friend. The request was 'Snape, his first ever potions class, and why he hates children.' I'm not all good at remembering things from Harry Potter, so if I get something major wrong I'm sorry.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter and the characters, not me.
The Babbling Beverage
Severus Snape looked at the group of Gryffindor 1st years sitting before him at their tables, pots in front of them as they prepared for their first potions class ever. Snape could literally feel the fear emitting from the group of frightened children before him, and he would had laughed out loud if he himself hadn't been slightly nervous about this class. It was, after all, his first potions class ever as a teacher in Hogwarts.
"Okay class." He spoke, all eyes of his students turning and fixing on him as he spoke. "Today you will be making the Babbling Beverage." He said, wanting to start out with some easy and basically harmless so the idiots that could be in his class didn't get themselves killed.
Snape turned and wrote the few simple ingredients the students would need along with a few, easy to read direction that they had to follow in order for their potion to work on the board. Even if they made the potion wrong or skipped an ingredient the Babbling Beverage would still do what it was made to do, the potion would be more un-predictable and if any of his students decided to 'taste test' their failed creation they could begin ranting about who knows what.
"Professor!" One of the Gryffindor girls called, waving her hand around in the air as Snape slowly made his way over towards his desk. "I'm done!" She announced happily, seeming extremely proud of herself for finishing so far ahead of the other students (though it annoyed Snape slightly that she hadn't even given him two mintues of quiet).
Snape looked down at the potion that was bubbling inside the pot before the girl, noting that the coloring was right. He nodded and told her to wash it out and clean up then read ahead in her book, which she leapt to do in a heartbeat. Well, it was good to know at least one student in his class was good with potions.
He then turned to focus on a group of four young boys (that reminded him of the four who tormented him all through his school year) who were tossing things into the their now black potion. They had obvious forgotten the first few steps, since black was defiantly not the correct color for a Babbling Beverage.
"Prof, this thing doesn't look right." One of the boys at the table pointed out as Snape walked by. "I told you not you drop that in Jake!" He shot at the boy closest to him who had his feet up on the desk, leaning back casually as if nothing was wrong.
"It looks fine to me." The boy, who was apparently named Jake, replied as he opened one eye and studied Snape. "Why doesn't someone try it and see if it works?" He suggested, but before Snape could point out how badly this child's idea would turn out one of the other two leapt up with a spoon in his hand.
"And who better to try it than our Professor!" The boy cried, dipping the spoon into the mixture and leaning across the table and shoving it into a surprised Snape's mouth which had been open to object.
As the potion ran down his throat Snape felt words fly out of his mouth and, without any hope of stopping them, he continued to let himself ramble on and on and on. The four kids in front of him were the first to burst out laughing, and then soon the whole class was giggling at their now talkative teacher. Even the smart girl from before who had made the perfect potion was doubling over in laughter.
'I HATE children…..' Snape thought angrily as he started going on about his love for chocolate frogs now, the class continuing their loud and annoying laughing fit.