Chapter 1
The Hate

Dusk. I hate dusk. Especially here. When in this stuffy room, is reflected from blood-red walls, thicken around me and not letting breathe. There do not see this burn smell finally brings me to mind.
This is why I disguise in my room and come here for a minute before leaving. But not today. Before the game even half an hour, but I have to sit almost ramshackle bench, surrounded by those rotten hated air. The heart beats fast, and thought in my head going with the frenzied pace. What should I do, I do not know. This is not the first time, and always I have a feeling. I wipe damp hands on the black fabric of uniform shorts.
Black. How much I hate black. Although for a time, I had already once hardened with all this.
And with the nagging pain, too.
Recline on the creaking of my movements back benches.
Who would have thought that the locker owners are even worse than the guests? Yes ... Then, four years ago, I suppose this could not, when the crossed the threshold of the room. I think that is specially made to weaken the spirit of rivals ... How!
I am up a gum from pocket and stuck in the hair tail. You do not like when I do so, but it should be.
Close eyelids and loss with fingers my iconostases. Constant headache already just pick on. Perhaps this is because of the planet's climate. I hate it!
How much time has passed? I do not know. But, presumably, before the start of the game are ten minutes. Now here tumble into the rest of the team and will begin intolerable buzz. But most of them are adults' people!
Although none. Are they people ...
As for the orders, the door dump and I may hear dozens of steps. Voices, the rustle of clothes filled the already stuffy room.
But I was never to sit or to anyone not paying attention.
Sick. From all this I'm already sick.
But it should be.

Near falls not a little Bird, almost break bench forever. Although, what I'm saying. In this team I am very low, so the bird can not be small.
- You're sitting down - who would know how it annoys me ... and how I hate his voice, too. – For a long time?
- Half an hour.
- Captain - he always made a hitch, if you called me so. - I hope you have leeway and will play at full strength.
- You may say that I'm not playing at full strength, Sinedd?
- Well ...
- It looks like you've never been able to beat me one-on-one, even with the smog. But this is a great advantage.
I heard that she sad so evil:
- More of this ... You know what would happen if we do not reach the final. Be careful...

- F**k you!
Listen up only some poisonous and recessive snicker steps.
I indulge and immersed in my thoughts again.
Better that I had died a year ago, before you knew it all. Although ... to die is not a reason. But the power to seek it from me, too, there is no more. I do not see it. Excepting inevitably approaching of the end. And what comes after - it is not known.
I take a deep breath by surprise when I heard a mechanized voice, asks to go to the lifting platform.
Slowly rose, and most recently has been at the right place - in front of the whole team.
It's amazing how these monsters, and even the same Sinedd listen to me. I remember how Artegor handed me a form with red stripes instead of green. For what kind of honour? I do not know.
The platform swung and moved up sharply. The heart of a frozen, and then started pounding rapidly, giving roar in ears. And the higher we rose, then more my knees arch.

Sometimes I'm proud as I can to hide emotions. And this year, I learned to hide feelings. Even not… Not to hide. Hide them under the mask.
Native, would you know that what you see - that I let you see - not true.
But it should be.
It's heard noises in the headphones, and then voice of coach:
- Take it, Rocket! We need this victory.
- I know.
- Excellent.
Sometimes it seemed to me that Artegor all know. I even have Sinedd asked, but he doesn't answer, saying that the Nexus always knows how to affect the player's team.
Well, here. The platform was garbage again. We were first on the field. We came first on the stadium.
I closed my eyes, trying to calm the tremor.
You know, I'm waiting for this day for a long time. Month. Look. And it seems eternity.

TV in my room does not stop, and you show in it very often, but to see live - it is quite another. And remember how a month ago, we accidentally crossed at a conference on the beginning of the tournament?
Loud click signalled that the team has the enemy completely in the field.
I looked up and opened my eyes. As might be expected, and then stumbled upon the odious sight Captain of Snow Kids. He drills me and, apparently, that can break me.
But like others, I learned a lot this year.
It's time to play a role.
Smiled and looked at D'Jock, I run to look you seek.
What is it, my surprise when I stumbled upon on your cold, but such beautiful green eyes?
You measured me disdainful look and turned away.
I knew that it would be. It always happens. For the past eight months.
And it was good. Well, I do not see any more pain and despair. Even if the heart is quiet crying, I must do everything that you stopped loving me. So you will be much easier.

My former team went to their places.
I turned to my players, and nodded. They know what to do.
- Captain ... Play on full ...
Sinedd, with his nasty smirk, patted me on the shoulder.
- That if you have and was able to speak - with a share of irony, he let out.
I am silent.
Smog. Year here in this team, but their flow is not yet possess. Wonder how, without this Artegor produces me on the field. But, frankly speaking, it is not, and then I want to feel this in itself ragged smoke.
I slowly retreated to their position. Midfielder. But today I replaced the special side, not to play against you.
Sinedd noticed this and become sad.
I inspected the box, making sure that all players of my team at their ground and turned to the current champions.
The heart of a frozen and bring somewhere downstream.
On the opposite side of the field Thran something sad to you while embracing one hand. You nodded and he kissed you on the cheek, went to his position.
Fist unwittingly has mercy.
I know. I knew that for three months and you meet subconsciously had to be happy, but do not receive.
Every time I see him next to you, begin to hate all white light. And it is most ... because now he has the right to touch you, and ...
I want to howl, roar, fall on your knees and tear your fingers in the blood, impotence cutting land in my legs.
It was better if I died.
I love you. I love even stronger than before, but you can not see this. You can not break, you must be strong. And I will die.... Let Thran will be next and keeps your dream.
In headphones somebody delicate snicker. I'm still not expressing any emotions translated into Sinedd's view. He only warps a smile and turned to D'Jock, standing in front.
And I again, like the last fool, stared at you. I can do nothing, if you are at a close distance. Just climb in the head useless thought ... I remember your lithe movements, spasmodic breaths and sweetness ...
Roar in the headphones. Now it is Artegor.
I was the last time you throw in the mind, to spare that immediately after the match Arch takes away you to the Akillian.
But after two days we have guest match at my home planet...