Author's Note:
Believe it or not, this came about because I happened to be writing another fic, and I had Dean calling his brother 'Sam-I-Am'. A weird afternoon of daydreaming ensued, and this was the result. Don't phone in - it's just a bit of fun!
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A week with no Hunt,
A week with no Hunt,
I do not like a week with no Hunt.
No zombie to stake?
No demon to punt?
C'mon, Sam-I-Am,
Find us somethin' to hunt!
Ok Dean, just hold your horses!
I'll check for signs of demonic forces.
My laptop is fast, it never crashes
Even though it runs Vista, which everyone trashes.
Do I look like I give a crap about the operating system?
Just find us some creatures so we can waste 'em!
I will, I will, if you'll just wait,
But it's Saturday night and it's getting late.
Could you, would you, leave me be?
Could you, would you, let me see?
Go to a bar! Go to a bar!
Go to a bar, but don't take the car.
Go chase some skirt and sink some pints,
If I find anything good I'll call you, alright?
I will not, will not let you be.
I will not, will not let you see.
I will not, will not go to the bar -
I'm outta pool money and the walk's too far.
Get on the 'net, find a way,
Find us a job, Sam, a job, I say!
Ok here's one, you might need your coat:
A witch in Washington, does that float your boat?
A witch? A witch?
Listen up if you can:
I do not like hunting them, Sam-I-Am.
Well in the same town, is this more to your liking?
A vampire's loose, doing all kindsa striking.
So how about a vampire, an undead bloodsucker?
A vampire? Super! I'll kill the fuc--
Dean! No swearing, this rhyme is rated K+!
Ok, Samantha, don't make such a fuss.
I'll watch my language, I will, I will.
So what are we doin'? What do we kill?
It's a vampire, a vampire, a vampire I say.
Disappears without a trace during the day.
The news says there's one survivor - a waitress.
We need to leave now, there's no call for lateness.
You got that right, can't leave the poor girl hanging--
Don't you dare try and make up a rhyme about 'banging'!
Sam, you misjudge me, I was tryin' to be like you,
All considerate and helpful - and soppy too.
You know it's what you want, you do, you do!
You always want me to be more like you.
Well I'm trying you know, but it's not easy
All this touchy-feely crap makes me feel queasy.
That's not fair Dean, I'm just friendly. Oh
And if you could manage it, no innuendo.
Cos really dude, I can already guess
How you'll react when I tell you that Tess
Is the waitress who's just 28--
Am I allowed to say we're already late?
Say what you want, remember it's a vamp.
Dude, I know. Now which off-ramp
Do we use to get to this place, where is it again?
I told you, Washington - get with the game.
If we leave now and don't stop for gas
We can be there tonight--
And slice 'n dice its ass.
My thoughts exactly! You ready to go?
Looks like I'm outta reasons for 'no'.
Then get your coat, don't be so lazy.
Sam, what are you, buckets 'o crazy?
Can't wait to get started, to find this bloodsucker.
Dean, stop it! You can't make me say 'fuc--'
Gotcha! Ha-ha! So close, hot-damn!
You nearly swore, Sam-I-Am!
Dude. Seriously. What are you, five?
Just gimme the keys, or are you gonna drive?
I'm driving Sam, you know that's a given.
Only when I was dead have you ever driven.
Oooh, that's a clever sentence, hurt your head much?
Don't be an ass, I can still reach out and touch
Your laptop from here. Want it in pieces on the floor?
Just pack your crap and get out the door.
We have a long drive, and at night too--
Oh and don't tell me: "we got work to do".
Some things never change, and that's just rude.
Let's just get going, we're losing light, dude.
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FIN
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I'm stuck with Writer's Block right now, and I don't even know if I will ever finish the story I'm on, or if I have any more stories coming. I'm off to the LA convention (27th-29th March '09) in three days, so hopefully after my ten-day holiday on a different continent I'll feel differently. But right at the moment… I got nuthin'.
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