Breaking up is hard to do…

Hermione remembered the day it all started. It was one year ago on a Friday afternoon and she was having lunch alone at a muggle café in London. She was preparing to order when a familiar voice came from behind. She turned and was surprised to see Harry Potter talking with the hostess. He looked her way and grinned and it was then that she wondered to herself if he had always been so handsome. He had certainly grown into his features and his hair was just as unruly, jet black, and sticking up everywhere. She waived him over to her table, and as soon as he reached her they hugged each other tightly. She couldn't help the happiness she felt to see him and her eagerness to learn how he'd been in the last few years.

They talked about days gone by and laughed together over memories of mischief at school and about their lives now, compared to their days at Hogwarts and experiences throughout the war. She reluctantly told him about her short-lived romance with Ron and about how things between them just fizzled out soon after they graduated. She told him that she realized soon after they began to date that she and Ron didn't have as much in common as they thought. The only thing they did have in common was their loyalty and devotion to Harry. She confessed that she didn't think that she was meant to be in love and that she always wondered why love was so complicated. Conversation seemed so easy, it was like they had never parted. It was comfortable.

Harry didn't hold back either. At first he told her about Ginny and the children and how being part of a family was what he'd always wanted, then he talked about how he and Ginny were starting to grow apart and that things were just so much more complicated these days. Hermione whole-heartedly agreed to that and at the same time wondered to herself what, if anything, was so complicated about being married to Ginny. She remembered being at Harry and Ginny's wedding and had always thought that they were so much in love. They were perfect for each other it seemed. After a long lunch they set a date to meet up again later that week, then a week turned into in a few days, then tomorrow, and finally it turned into "how about tonight?" They were habitually seeing more and more of each other. Things were so easy between the two of them. Unfortunately the newness wore off and just like all other good things, this too started to come to an end. They had been seeing each other for an entire year now and things just had to change.

She continued thinking to herself, 'how did things come to this?' In the beginning she was involved in a relationship with a man she grew to love and now she's being used by him. She was being used for the one thing she could not control; her love for him. She couldn't help it and Harry knew it. That was what kept him coming back to her every time. He needed to be with her… "his Hermione." He told her she soothed him, calmed him, and took care of him like no one else could, not even Ginny. So, now looking back and mulling over it all, she decided to end it. She just couldn't do it anymore. At first, she thought he loved her as much as she loved him, but then at some point throughout the year long affair his love started to slip. She had become a convenience more than anything. And worst of all, Harry's love for his wife Ginny never faded. The realization that she would never compare, EVER, was a very hard pill to swallow. She choked it down anyway.

The bathroom door opened breaking Hermione out of her reverie and there stood a newly showered Harry. Hermione thought she should try one last time. "Harry?" Hermione asked. She almost didn't want to bring the subject up again, but it had to be done. She had to know the truth.

"Yes, Love," he answered while buttoning his shirt.

She shuddered at his response to her. "Have you told your wife yet?" It was the question she'd been asking for three months now. Although she didn't want to admit it, she did care for Ginny. Every time her and Harry were together she just couldn't help thinking about her. Hermione knew she was probably going crazy but she couldn't help feeling a little guilty every time they saw each other. Ok, so by now it was more that just a little. She felt the guilt before they met up, while they were together, and even after they parted every time. That was no way to live her life and if she wanted to quash the guilt she knew that she had to offer up an ultimatum. She also knew that he was leaving her now to rejoin his family and no matter how many times it had happened, it always hurt more than she liked to admit, to herself or anyone else.

Harry crossed the room in three steps and was in her face with a look of sheer annoyance. "Why do you do this to me, Hermione? Why does she have to know? Do you want this to be over for us? If I were to tell her, do you think that I'd be able to just carry on with you while still being married to her," he said. Finally the truth comes out. She knew it. He didn't ever plan on telling her, he never planned to leave her, it was all a lie. Hermione could quite literally feel her heart start to break. She had a lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow and tears began to sting her eyes but she wouldn't let him see her cry. She had to stay focused and strong.

He turned away to continue dressing, not really looking at her. "Harry, you told me that you were going to tell her and then we'd be able to get on with our lives together. You said that you didn't love her anymore. You said that you loved me. Was it a lie?" As she finished that sentence she held her breath because she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer to that question.

"I do love you, Hermione. But I love Ginny too. She is my WIFE! She is the mother of my children! You can't expect me to choose you over her!"

She finally let out her breath and started to get defensive. This was not the way things were supposed to be going. She was supposed to be in control. "Am I not worthy of that, Harry? We've been together for a year now and this is all I get? I'm just your whore on the side that you can sleep with and tell lies to so that you can keep me in your bed," she spat. 'It ends now. It has to. I must have more self-respect than this.' she thought. Ever since they first started this, this, THING, Harry had always promised that when the "right time" came, he'd tell Ginny that he'd fallen in love with someone else and that he was going to leave her. Then he and Hermione could be free to go on loving each other and maybe even get married and have their own family. Was that such a horrible thing? Of course it was. After thinking through all of this the night before, Hermione finally realized that Harry never really intended to go through with any of it. Why would he? He had everything he wanted. On one hand he had his family life with a wife who undoubtedly loved him and children who adored him, and on the other he had Hermione. She was just a lover. Of course she loved him as well, and he knew that, but he mostly kept her on hand when he grew tired of the "family life". She was his little mini vacation. It finally became apparent to her that he was just fine with the way things were. That's when she had her wake up call. She cried the entire night contemplating her decision.

Harry turned back towards her and gave her a look of confusion. "Hermione, be serious," Harry began. "I can't just brush Ginny off like that. She's been with me through everything, we have children together, where would she be without me…" she cut him off,

"That's it then, is it? Well then I guess you've given me all the answers I need and unintentionally, I'm quite sure, made this a lot easier for me," she was lying now, "this has been a long time coming and I can finally tell you that I'm done with this. I'm done with us, whatever us has turned out to be. I'm tired of waiting for you to make a decision." she said. He was just staring at her now, opened mouthed like he didn't ever think he'd be hearing this from Hermione. She had always been so faithful, so loyal, and an unrelenting constant since he'd known her. She finally got up from the bed and stalked up to him and stood face to chest with him. "I was up all night trying to find the courage to tell you that this is the end. Next time you get the notion to call on me again, just don't bother. This time when you leave my bed, just go home and stay there. Just stay with your wife. You know, at first I thought, 'Ginny doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve to be lied to, cheated on and then treated like a worn out toy that you got bored of," she took another step towards him and he took a step back, "but then I realized that YOU don't deserve Ginny; or me for that matter. It's you who's fucked up. Not me, and certainly not her." she was ranting. She had to calm herself down or risk looking like an emotional lunatic. She took a cleansing breath and started again with a stone face, "Just get the rest of your clothes and leave. Don't come back. You still have a chance to save your marriage, so if I were you I'd take advantage of that. Maybe she still wants you because Merlin knows that I'm through with you." she finished coldly pointing at the door.

Harry was quiet for some time, obviously at a loss for words. He honestly didn't know how to counter that at first so he started toward the front door. He was literally fuming inside. She really could be a self-righteous bitch sometimes. Harry was tired of her emotional drama anyway. It had gotten old. He stopped in his tracks and turned back toward her room where she stood glaring. "You may think that you're done, but you're not." he said matter-of-factly, coat in hand. "You," he continued while she was quickly walking toward him "you'll call me soon. I know you, Hermione. Just to let you know though, I was through with you anyway. I was going to get rid of you soon; you've just saved me the trouble. Now I know why Ron left you. You really are an insufferable bitch." he yelled. And then, just as soon as the words left his mouth, the only thing he saw was her petite hand getting ever closer to his face and then finally colliding with his cheek. In all the years he'd known her, he never thought she'd ever hit him, Harry Potter.

"Get the fuck out of my apartment you, you…asshole!" she yelled pointing at the door. She really wasn't any good at insults. She could feel the tears starting to form, but steeled herself. She couldn't let him see her fall apart completely; it would only feed his ego. Merlin knows "Harry-fucking-Potter" didn't need any extra ego stroking.

His cheek burned feverishly. He brought his hand up to rub his jaw. "Hermione what the fuck is wrong with you? That better not leave a mark," he yelled. "You've never had a problem with us before, and you've certainly never been so violent. Why are you behaving like a child? We're both adults here; we both know that you need me just as much as I need you. You don't mean this." he stated flatly. Harry's face was showing a little panic. She couldn't just leave him like this. He wasn't ready for that yet.

"You're right Harry. We are both adults, but the thing is, I want all of you for myself. I don't want to share you anymore. But you, you only want a piece of me. You just want to come and go as you please. I'm just an extra piece of ass for you plain and simple. That's all I am to you, I get it now, but that's not good enough for me. Now get out before I get my wand!" she threatened. She stomped over to the door, jerked it open, and stood there expectantly staring at him. 'There's no turning back now.' she thought.

At her last words Harry's façade of indifference started to crack and he let it show. He met her at the door and sighed. "Ok, wait, I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't mean that. Come on," he pleaded as he leaned forward to kiss her. With a disgusted look on her face she jerked her head away from his advance. "Fine Hermione…you win. I'll leave, but I promise you I won't be back. Just remember that I was willing to be with you warts and all. You won't find anyone else who's willing to put up with you Hermione! You know it and I know it. No one else will be interested in my seconds." he said hatefully. With that last thought he exited her apartment and her life.