The Wildest Dream and the Worst Nightmare
A Batman/Wonder Woman/Catwoman story by Icha
Rated T
Disclaimer: What will happen if Batman faces Wonder Woman AND Catwoman together? I mean literally. All characters belong to the DC Comics, no infringement intended. Special thanks to Hepburn for the great beta! Please note that I've downgraded the rating from M to T… I'm sorry to cause some disappointments; there will be kisses and all that… but I'm not sure if it is hawt enough to classify as M. So, to avoid higher expectations, I'm downgrading it to T. My sincere apologies.
Part 1. Mirrors
The Annual UNESCO charity had just commenced when the glamorous audience and paparazzi at the front door automatically turned their heads towards the red carpet outside. A tall, raven-haired beauty was walking down the aisle. Her slender figure was exotically clad in white and gold silk sari that accentuated her beautiful tanned skin. The outfit was not her usual garment, but she was definitely not out of fashion in it. Flashes of light blocked her way as the paparazzi tried to capture her pictures for the earliest edition of their media. She posed for 1-2 minutes elegantly before resuming her walk, which was kept ever slow by other interested parties who wished to talk to her.
"I never thought that you could be this beautiful and elegant in saree, Diana," a deep baritone voice greeted her as she finally reached a safe corner where she could drink her Martini offered by an awestruck waiter only moments ago. The tall beauty hid her smile behind her Martini glass before she replied,
"Well, Mr. Wayne, you have never seen me in a sari before."
"You could have worn it to the Wayne Charity last month."
"You didn't ask for it."
"I will, for the next one."
Diana of Themyscira was indeed very charming that night in the white and gold sari. Her forehead was still adorned with her tiara though, and a pair of silver bracers still enveloped her wrists, an unmistakable signature that she was actually Wonder Woman who happened to wear a traditional Indian dress. Diana unveiled her smile and finally broke her regular banter with Bruce Wayne. "Don't push too far, Bruce. If I didn't know you better, I would think that you are flirting with me."
Bruce still flashed his playboy smile. "Perhaps I am, Princess. Speaking of which, where is your knight of the night? Don't tell me he left you alone here."
"Tom?" Diana shrugged. "He has things to attend to at the moment… and you know… it's nice to be alone once in a while. Enjoying being your self by yourself, you of all people should understand that."
It took him only a fraction of a second before coming into agreement with her. "Don't I know it." He then changed his tone into a more formal one as he asked her, "What do you think of the exhibited jewelry? I assume that the Embassy of India asked you to give the opening remarks for this occasion?"
This year's Annual UNESCO gala dinner was collaborating with the Embassy of India for the United States to display an exquisite jewelry collection from India, stretching back to more than 1,000 years ago. One of the masterpieces of the night was a layered gold necklace beautifully adorned with a string of red blood ruby stones. This piece was particularly famous for it used to belong to Sultan Jalaluddin Muhammad Akbar of the 16th century Mughal Empire in India. Diana was looking at that particular piece of jewelry, displayed and protected at the central point of the convention center, as she replied to her colleague's question.
"I think…honestly… if none of your Gothamite friends attempt to barge into the night to spoil the party… it will be such a lucky and lovely night for this beautiful collection to be admired." She drilled her gaze into Bruce's deep blue eyes. " Please don't tell me that it's the only reason for your being here? New York is, after all, not your playground."
" Well that… And to see you in sari."
"Sweet," Diana grinned and waved her empty Martini glass. "Here's your date of the night, Bruce. Don't let her see you flirting with me." With that, she left him to stick around with a beautiful red head who seemed to have forgotten that she had two breasts to cover, partially at least, for they were almost spilling out all over the place.
-xxx-
The evening went well for Diana of Themyscira, the Wonder Woman… at least until she was called to the podium to deliver her opening remarks. She walked up to the podium with ease, definitely not hindered by her flowing sari, and gave a very interesting short speech on the great civilizations of the past that often met with the Grecian culture along the way. She was about to end her speech when she spotted a short-haired woman with a very lithe figure strolling along the other end of the floor, a few feet away from where Bruce Wayne and the clinging red head were standing. Diana made a mental alarm note to check that woman's suspicious movements as she spoke.
"And as Sultan Akbar promoted love, peace and harmony throughout his entire empire and embrace the Hindus and the Moslems together, let us celebrate this night as the night where we remember that – no matter what our differences are – we live on one planet, and should ultimately flourish as one civilization. The civilization of humanity!"
Thunderous applause welcomed the end of Diana's speech, and her heart was once again filled with warm feelings of happiness for she knew that at least some of her speech tonight struck the heart of some people there. With luck, some those rich people might donate a large sum of money for cultural restoration projects in several developing countries that eventually would also benefit the locals. She was about to leave when her enhanced hearing picked up a strange noise.
Oh Goddess… not the criminals please… She automatically glanced upwards to the glass dome above to see if there were any dark figures lurking there. There were none, as far as her huntress eyes could see. She made a quick sweep across the floor to see if there were any suspicious movements among the audience; her eyes caught Bruce Wayne's eyes squinting ever so slightly at her. He also sensed something wrong here. Good.
Then, all of the sudden, a woman screamed. For a good reason, for suddenly a weird freak in yellow and green costume emerged from one of the glass beads of her expensive dress. The freak flashed an ugly grin when he greeted the fainting woman.
"Greetings, Madam. May I take some of your jewelry?"
"Mirror Master!" Wonder Woman yelled across the floor. "Did you leave your brain at home?" Her voice was only a bit faster than her hand, for a second later her tiara already hit Mirror Master's gun, sending it flying across the room. The lowly criminal screamed.
"Ouch! That hurts, &#*$*!"
"Better luck next time," Wonder Woman suddenly already appeared next to him, still in her sari. Effortlessly, she lifted Mirror Master by the neck a few inches off the floor. "Do you want your lower or upper jaw broken this time?"
The lowly criminal was sweating, but he obviously was still trying to keep his bravado intact. "Why don't you…" he gasped for air, "… talk to my friend there?" His fingers pointed to the other side of the room – where the famous necklace of Sultan Akbar was displayed – and Diana squinted. Smoke. Gas. The audience started to panic. Oh, no!
She threw Mirror Master several feet away as she screamed, "Gas! Evacuate the room! Batman!"
"On it," replied a dark figure that suddenly glided across the room and landed next to her.
"Alert NYPD, I will do the evacuation." Diana was about to do her famous spin to turn into the full-costumed Wonder Woman when Batman halted her. "Forget it, Diana. It's not gas. It's –"
Diana followed his obscured gaze and frowned. "…Magic…"
The smoke abated to reveal a tall and slender woman figure with a mask.
"Morgaine le Fay," the Dark Knight whispered.
It was indeed Morgaine le Fay. The medieval witch walked leisurely towards the glass compartment where the gold necklace was kept. A five year old would know that she was attempting to steal the necklace.
Diana needed only a split second to overcome her surprise. She spun and changed into her Wonder Woman armour. "Morgaine le Fay! What in Hades' name are you doing here?"
"Ah, Wonder Woman! What do you think, Princess? Should I spell 'stealing' to you?" The witch raised her hands and produced violet rays that electrocuted the glass compartment, making it vanish from sight. Knowing that Wonder Woman would fly across the room in seconds to prevent her, she reached for the gold necklace –
- And was caught by surprise as her hands were suddenly strangled by a black leather whip.
"In your dream, honey!"
A powerful tuck, and Morgaine le Fay fell and rolled over to the floor unceremoniously.
"That gold necklace is mine, baby! That's why I'm here tonight!"
Wonder Woman halted mid-air; she almost could not believe her own eyes. Oh, Hera. What a great night…
A few feet behind her, Batman groaned silently. "Catwoman…"
-xxx-
It was Catwoman all right, complete in her head-to-toe noir costume and black leather whip. Her green eyes flashed naughtily behind her goggles.
"Sorry to spoil your party, Morgaine dear, but this necklace is mine," she purred in satisfaction as she reached for the necklace. Yet, magic proved too fast even for the Feline Fatale, for the necklace was suddenly enveloped in another string of violet rays and was flying on its own towards Morgaine le Fay's hand.
"Not so fast, Kitten," smirked the Witch. "Do you seriously think that a petty thief like you can beat me?" She let the necklace hovered over her head, still enveloped in violet rays held by one hand, while her other one produced a glowing green ball. She threw the energy ball towards Catwoman, whose agility saved her life from being fried into non-existence.
"How dare you?!" Hissed Catwoman as she made a summersault and returned to strike back. "Give me that!" The clever and persistent cat burglar kept a very close fighting range with Morgaine le Fay, hence forcing the witch to use brute force or martial arts instead of magic. Unfortunately for Morgaine le Fay, martial arts were never her forte. She was slammed to the floor and gasped for air; the necklace twirled over in the air and landed across the room.
"Damned!" cursed Catwoman as she lurched herself towards the necklace, finding it not hard at all to reach the spot, for almost all audience were already evacuated, leaving the convention floor empty. But she had forgotten another player.
"Not so fast, Catwoman!" Wonder Woman raced towards her. "That necklace is neither yours nor Morgaine's." Her hands reached for the necklace at the same time as Catwoman's. "It –"
"Mine!" Catwoman screamed.
" – Belongs to the world!" Wonder Woman also raised her pitched an octave higher.
And both women were suddenly enveloped in a bright golden light that seemed not to fade away.
The room was silent. Some NYPD cops who had just arrived were reluctant to approach the spot. From across the room, Morgaine le Fay's cold laughter was heard, her hands still smoking after launching a high voltage energy ball towards Catwoman and Wonder Woman. Her laughter was not for long, though. Batman suddenly landed next to her and grabbed her robe.
"What did you do to them?!" He squinted and lowered his voice into a mere whisper. "I swear by everything sacred and profane, if anything happen to either of them-"
Morgaine le Fay was taken by surprise for a few seconds before resuming her laughter. "Why Batboy! Why would you – of all heroes – care for such a thief and a murderer?! Unless…" The Witch blinked behind her mask. "By the dark winter! Of course! You love the thief!" Ignoring the Bat's grim glare, she produced a more hellish laughter before suddenly stopped. "Oh no… No way! This is far more fun! I never thought that you could –"
No one around her would know what she thought Batman could do, for a cop suddenly said, "Here they are! They're still here!"
Batman immediately dropped Morgaine le Fay and ran towards the dimming light. His heart beat almost stopped a few minutes ago, and now he could feel it beating again… air coming into his brain again.
"Wonder Woman… Catwoman…"
The light disappeared completely to reveal only a single figure. A woman clad in black leather, crouching on the floor and holding her head in pain.
"Catwoman…" The Dark Knight felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. Where is the Princess? "Thank God you're alright. Where is… Wonder Woman?" He helped her to stand on her feet again before repeating his question. "Where is Diana? What happened just now?"
"I… I don't know…" the Feline Fatale gasped for air. "My head almost exploded…I thought I would die…" she swallowed hard before suddenly asking in a sharp tone. "Where's the necklace?! Where is it?"
"I don't know where it is. It's not important anyway…" Somehow, Batman's tone was rather too soft for the Dark Knight.
"No!" Catwoman suddenly pulled apart from the Batman. "You don't understand! You will always never understand! I need that necklace!"
"Catwoman, forget it." Batman's dark tone returned immediately. "You need medical attention."
"No!" Catwoman retreated defiantly. "This is important. I need to –" her eyes suddenly caught a glittering item nearby. She leapt towards it to claim the necklace once more.
"I told you, no!" Batman was faster than her and grabbed the necklace. "Forget it! You are coming with me to the paramedics, or to jail!"
"Save the speech, Batman! I never need that!" Catwoman launched several attacks at the Batman, she managed to grab the necklace somehow, made a 360deg roundhouse kick to expel the Dark Knight – and a glowing light appeared again from within her…
… To reveal a confused Wonder Woman who stood wobbly with the gold necklace in her hand.
"Whuh… What happened???"
"Diana?!" Batman managed to stop his kick mid-air… not that his kick would fatally hurt the Amazon anyway.
"Batman? What happened?" feeling a sudden rush to black out, Diana tried to steady herself. She looked at the necklace with curiosity. "Did we stop them? Where is Morgaine le Fay?"
"Gone," assessed Batman. "So is Mirror Master. I think they were afraid of what happened to you two."
"Two of us?" Diana exhaled. "Gaea. Where is Catwoman?"
Batman was silent for 2-3 minutes, definitely too long for a Bat. He took the necklace from Diana's hand and examined it. A particularly big ruby reflected in the neon light, creating a surreal glow on his face. Finally, the Great Detective tentatively said, "Will you spin again, Diana?"
"Why?" Wonder Woman massaged her temple. "Hera… my head…"
"Just do it. I have a theory." He hesitated before adding, "Please."
Diana looked at her colleague through the semi-opaque lenses. She finally shrugged before spinning. A glowing golden light enveloped her… to reveal a more puzzled Catwoman.
"What the heck is actually happening here?!" Growled the Cat. "My head almost exploded again, and gimme back my necklace!"
Despite her anger, Batman felt his heart sinking. The weirdest of the weirdest things had happened to him, but not as ironic as this one.
"You've gotta be kidding, God. Wonder Woman and Catwoman in one package," the Dark Knight shook his head in disbelief. "The wildest dream… and the worst nightmare…"
-TBC-
Author's note:
Muahahaha! What do you think? WonderCat combo… what will she/they do to the Bat?