I am not quite as proud of this fic as I am of The Talk. However I believe it is funny. I will put up two initial chapters and then my third written one tommorow. From there it will be updated whenever I have time.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Rating: T

Dear Sasuke,

What the (!) dude? I haven't seen you in weeks! Sakura was trying to tell me something about you the other day but to tell you the truth I was thinking about ramen while she was talking. I love ramen. The eggs, the pork, the noodles, all mixed together to ravage your taste buds as the broth slides down to warm your insides… Have you ever wondered what Sakura would look like if her hair was made of ramen? I practically get a-

But I'm getting off topic. Without you here I'm having trouble finding a suitable training partner. Kakashi is way too strong for me. Yesterday I challenged him to a match. I didn't know that a blunt object could extract that much blood. Stupid tree… Later I found someone perfect but apparently it's not "Progressive" or "Ethical" or "Legal" to train with a house cat. Pfft… it had it coming anyway. Stupid thing snuck into my house and attacked me. I talked to Kiba later that day and he thinks it's a rare German fox hunting cat. Damn cat thought I was a fox. Do I look like a fox to you? Well Sakura came over and stopped me before I did anything I'd regret, but not before that stupid thing bit half my ear off. Don't worry though.

I'm currently in the hospital writing this letter to you. Tsunade said they wouldn't be able to repair my ear so they had to do a transplant. The thing is they didn't have any human ears on hand… so they had to use a foxes. Go figure eh? Later that day Sakura brought over the cat to show me "how sorry it was". Long story short now I have two fox ears… and the cat has my wallet. Don't ask.

At first I thought I'd send this letter via hawk. However hawks are more expensive than I had previously anticipated… I talked to Shino and managed to procure a particularly buff butterfly to carry this letter.

Your friend + Rival + Partner - Friend

Naruto

The next chapter is longer. Reviews are very much appreciated, whether they be analytical , summarising , critical, or avid.