"The human life is made up of choices. Yes or no? In or out? Up or down? And then there are the choices that matter: to love or hate, to be a hero or to be a coward, to fight or to give in, to live or die…live or die? That's the most important choice, and it's not always in our hands. Yes or no? In or out? Up or down? Live or die? Hero or coward? Fight or give in? I'll say it again, to make sure you hear me: the human life is made up of choices. Live or die? That's the important choice…and it's not always in our hands"-Derek Shepherd

Los Angeles:

Running a practice was harder than she thought, especially when you're trying to save said practice from bankruptcy. She sat at her desk filing through bills, looking at bank statements, mortgage loans, refinance loans and shook her head. The only bright side to working this hard were the lo mien noodles her boyfriend Kevin Nelson had brought her earlier that day. However, at this point, the noodles had grown cold and her butt hurt from sitting for so long. She needed to get up and stretch. She stood, rolling her shoulders back and forth, popping her joints. She looked up when she noticed her best friend of over 20 years standing in the doorway.

"Rough day?" Naomi Bennett said as she tilted her head at her friend.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Addison groaned as she made her way over to the purple couch that sat in her office.

"You look stressed," Naomi said as she sat beside her; she immediately pulled out a bag of chocolates. Chocolates always seemed to do the trick whenever one of them was stressed out.

"Do you really want me to tell you what's got me so stressed out?" Addison asked, biting her lower lip. She knew that Naomi was still apprehensive about their friendship since she'd taken over the practice. Naomi sighed heavily, noticing Addison's apprehension.

"Addie, I know that you didn't intentionally take over the practice; it's okay, you can tell me," Naomi said as Addison sighed.

"I'm looking over finances for the practice…" Addison said apprehensively as Naomi nodded, however before she could respond, Addison's cell phone rang.

"Carson?" Addison paused for a second, listening to the pain in her daughter's voice.

"Carson, sweetie slow down; tell me what's going on?" Addison's spine straightened as she stood, clutching the phone to her ear. Something wasn't right with her daughter; Naomi tried to speak, though she was cut off when Addison held up a hand.

"Carson, where are you? Driving? Who's car are you driving? Meredith's, you're driving Meredith's car? How did you…you stole Meredith Grey's car?! Carson Danielle Shepherd, you cannot go stealing people's cars! Carson, it's raining in Seattle and…your father said what? Why would he…nevermind? Carson, you need to go back to the hospital or to Meredith's house. Carson, I know you're upset but taking your father's girlfriend's car isn't the…hello? Carson? Carson? Carson!" Addison was practically shouting into the phone when Naomi reached out and grabbed her arm, forcing her to whip around.

"Something's happened to Carson," Addison whispered tearfully.

Seattle:

"Ya fucked up Shep," Mark Sloan said to his best friend as the two men played golf on the hospital rooftop.

"Gee, thanks, Mark," Derek deadpanned as his swung his golf club and missed.

"Did ya really have to bring up the fact that I screwed Addison, and in front of Ryan of all people? I thought the three of us agreed that Ryan would never find out about that; Carson knowing was bad enough," Mark huffed.

"Why did you sleep with my wife?" Derek asked, tossing his golf club onto the ground as Mark shook his head.

"You're not gonna pin your outburst at Carson on me Derek. My sleeping with Addison happened years ago; I thought you were over it?" Derek sighed harshly; it had been years since Mark slept with Addison and the three of them had come to the mutual decision that they were over it.

"You're right, I just…she hates me Mark; she told me I was a terrible father," Derek shook his head slowly; how had his life become reduced to this?

"Shep…" Mark began as Derek's cell phone rang. Mark watched as Derek moved to the other side of the rooftop and spoke in hushed tones for a few moments before rushing towards the stairs.

"Shep! Shep, wait up!" Mark had a sinking feeling in his gut that something was wrong with the way Derek left the rooftop.

"Derek, Derek, what's wrong?" Mark finally caught up with his best friend as he was racing to the elevators, leaving the hospital.

"It's Carson; something's happened…Addison called and, I have to find her," Derek's words were jumbled as he spoke, letting Mark know that whatever was going on was serious.

"Shep-"

"I can't Mark, not now," Derek groaned in frustration as he waited for the elevator.

"Screw it, I'm taking the stairs," Derek mumbled as he dashed down the staircase.

Mark sighed heavily as he watched his best friend exit the surgical floor. He shook his head and tried to dial Addison to figure out what was going on, but got no answer. He looked up when he saw the smiling faces of Callie and Arizona; at least someone was happy today, he thought to himself.

"What's up Sloan?" Arizona was her usual perky and annoying self as she spoke to him.

"Not now blondie," Mark muttered, still trying to get through to Addison.

"What's up with you?" Callie asked as Mark shook his head.

"Something's happened to Carson; Addison called Derek and the next thing I knew, he was running out of here like a crazy person," Mark said.

"I can tell you what happened to Carson, Derek's words hurt her feelings and she probably called Addison," Callie said firmly; she wasn't exactly a Derek fan, especially after the prom thing.

"Come on Callie, Carson was being pretty bratty today; taking Mark's car…" Arizona reasoned.

"Because Derek was taking all freakin day to get her something to eat!" Callie argued as Arizona shook her head sadly.

"I think your friendship with Addison is making you-"

"This has nothing to do with me being friends with Addison; what he said to her was…it was low, even for Shepherd," Callie said, glancing at Mark who looked visibly upset.

"Mark? Mark, what's wrong?" Callie asked.

"That was Addison, Carson's been in an accident," Mark said grimly as shock registered on the two women's faces.

"But, but how? Didn't Derek-" Callie was confused, trying to wrap her head around what was happening.

"She stole Meredith's car; Addie said she called her. The last thing she heard before the line went dead was a horn and screeching tires," Mark muttered as he began to pace back and forth.

"Mark, that could mean anything; it doesn't mean-"

"I shouldn't have let her borrow my car; dammit! If something happens to her Torres…" Mark was visibly shaken by the news. Callie stood in front of him, gently rubbing her hand up and down his spine.

"Mark, you had no idea Derek was gonna blow up like that; you had no idea Carson was gonna steal Meredith's car. This isn't your fault," Callie reminded him, though Mark didn't seem to be listening.

"She's my goddaughter Torres; if something happens to her…first I ruin Derek's marriage by sleeping with his wife and now his kid…" Mark slammed his hand into a wall out of frustration, causing people to stare at him.

"What the hell are you people looking at? Go back to work!" Callie shouted.

"Mark, let's just take a walk, huh? C'mon?" Callie said, gently leading him away.

Los Angeles:

"Addison, Addison what's going on? Addison, where are you going? Addison, why are you packing your clothes?" Amelia Shepherd stood and watched her sister-in-law frantically pack a bag.

"Addison, Addison, what's happening?" Amelia is nervous; she has never seen her sister-in-law like this.

"Addie, Addie calm down; you're scaring Amelia," Naomi was trying to keep her friend calm.

"Naomi, tell me what's going on. Addison came in and-" Naomi immediately walked over to the younger Shepherd sister and gently placed her arms on her shoulders.

"Amelia, breathe; something's going on with Carson and Addison's going to Seattle to make sure she's okay. She and Derek had a little spat and she was upset. There's nothing to be worried about; everything's fine," There, that wasn't so bad, was it? Naomi knew that Addison was in no mood to talk to Amelia. All she cared about was getting to Carson, which Naomi completely understood.

"Addison? You home?" Kevin Nelson's voice floated through the lower part of Addison's home, causing Addison to look at Naomi, her eyes full of desperation.

"I'll handle Kevin," Naomi said before heading downstairs.

Being a friend to Addison Forbes Montgomery during a time of crisis was a hard job sometimes. But Naomi understood; this was Addison's child and she wasn't sure what had happened to her so that meant her that rational thinking went out the front door. Naomi couldn't say she blamed Addison for that one bit.

"Naomi, hey, is Addison home?" Kevin was a nice guy, but couldn't fit in with Addison's hectic lifestyle.

"She's um…something's happened to Carson and so Addie has to fly out to Seattle to see about her," Naomi said quietly as Kevin became alarmed.

"Something happened to Carson? Is she alright?" Kevin was doing his best to head upstairs to see Addison but Naomi stopped him.

"Kevin, Addison's very upset right now; she needs to finish packing so that she can catch her flight," Naomi explained.

"She's already booked a flight?"

"She's taking her family's jet," Naomi said as Kevin ran a hand over his face.

"Does she know exactly what happened?" Kevin asked; Addison and Kevin had been dating for just over a year and Kevin had grown to seriously care about Addison and her kids during that time.

"She doesn't; Carson got into a fight with Derek and called Addie while she was driving…it was raining in Seattle," Naomi said, not finishing the rest of her sentence, shuddering to think of what was going on with her pseudo niece.

"Jesus Christ; does Derek-"

"Derek didn't know; he'd put her on punishment and sent her upstairs to her room. She snuck out, stole Meredith's car and-"

"I'm going with her," Kevin said as he made his way upstairs to his and Addison's bedroom.

"The more the merrier," Naomi muttered before retreating upstairs.

oOoOo

Derek, if something happens to her; if something happens to Carson I will never forgive you.

How could you say those things to her Derek!?

Goddammit, Derek!

His conversation with Addison seemed to be on repeat in his head as he drove like a madman through the streets of Seattle in search of his daughter. He shouldn't have said those things, shouldn't have reacted the way he did. Addison was right, him becoming chief definitely led to disaster. First, there was the merger, then, there was Gary Clarke, and now this. How had he let being chief become more important than his children? How had he let history repeat itself? It was the desire to become chief that led him to spend more time at home than with his family.

Derek shook his head, banging his hand on the steering wheel in frustration; he needed to find Carson. His heart stopped when he saw the flashing lights of an ambulance a few yards ahead. He pulled his car to a stop and got out, searching for any signs of Carson or Meredith's car. When he looked ahead and saw Meredith's car wrapped around a tree along with another car on fire, he lost his lunch. Every bone in his body shook with fear as he ran towards the scene, glancing around for any sign of Carson.

"Daddy!" Derek's ears perked up at the sound of someone calling his name.

"Daddy!" Squinting his eyes, Derek breathed a sigh of relief when he saw someone running towards him, nearly causing him to topple over.

"Carson! Oh, thank god you're alright," Derek whispered over and over when he had his daughter in his arms.

"Daddy, I'm sorry!"

He pulled back to look at her; she looked somewhat okay, a few scratches and bruises here and there but alive. That was what mattered the most to Derek; his daughter was alive.

"What the hell were you thinking? You scared your mother and me half to death! Don't you ever run off like that again, do you understand me? God Carson, you could've…" Derek couldn't finish his sentence for the tears that spilled over onto his cheeks as he held his daughter close.

"I'm sorry daddy, I'm so, so sorry," Carson mumbled as father and daughter stood in the rain holding one another as they cried.

2 Hours Earlier…

Carson stormed into Meredith's house, pushing past her brother and her father's girlfriend. She didn't bother stopping, she ran all the way upstairs to the room that was hers while she was visiting her father. She slammed the door shut and flopped onto the bed. Hot, wet tears flowed onto the pillow as Carson sobbed.

How could her father say the things he said? She did nothing wrong! He was so…she hated him, hated everything about him. She couldn't stay here any longer, she needed to leave. Her father was too focused on his career to notice that she wasn't there anymore. She knew trying to go back to Los Angeles was a long shot. She needed to get away, to clear her head.

The only place she could think of was her father's trailer over on Bainbridge Island. She may have hated his stupid trailer, but it was the most remote place she could think of. If she could just get there, she'd be able to sleep and then she'd call her mother the next morning and get back on a plane to Los Angeles.

Once she was there, she'd beg her mother to never make her visit her father ever again. She was done with Derek Christopher Shepherd. What he'd done today was unacceptable and unforgivable; she, like her mother, had grown tired of him.

Carson packed quickly and quietly, placing the bare necessities into a duffle bag. She made sure to sneak downstairs when Meredith and her friends weren't looking. She managed to grab Meredith's keys and stealthily sneak out of the back door. Meredith's car was a stick shift, but luckily for her, Cooper had been letting her practice in his car, something her mother didn't know. She carefully pulled out of Meredith's driveway without anyone ever noticing she was gone.

The weather was nastier than it was when she'd went out to get dinner. The rain was pelting aginst the windshield so bad that she could barely see; she had to turn on the bright lights. She made sure the wipers were set at their fastest speed. Carson was still in tears as she drove, her mind replaying the incident between her and her father over and over. Each time she thought about it, the harder she cried. There was only one person she wanted to talk to right now. Carson reached down into the passenger's side and grabbed her cell phone, pressing her mother's number which was number one on speed dial.

"Hello?" Carson let out a sob of relief when her mother picked up the phone.

"Mommy," Carson whimpered.

"Carson?"

"Mom, I wanna come home…please!" Carson begged her mother who grew worried as she listened to how upset her daughter sounded.

"Carson, sweetie slow down; tell me what's going on?"

"I hate it here mom, I just wanna come home!" Carson sobbed into the phone

"Carson, where are you?" Addison said doing her best to stay calm, but it was hard to stay calm when her daughter sounded so upset.

"I'm driving; I'm coming back to LA," Carson sniffled

"Driving? Who's car are you driving Carson?" Addison asked

"Meredith's…" Carson mumbled.

"Meredith, you're driving Meredith's car?"

"Yeah…I sorta stole it," Carson admitted, hearing her mother sigh on the other end of the phone; now she'd done it.

"How did you…you stole Meredith Grey's car?! Carson Danielle Shepherd, you cannot go stealing people's cars!"

"Mom! I couldn't stay there, not after what dad said to me…" Carson explained as she cut on her turning signal in order to signal the driver in the next lane that she needed to get over.

"Carson, it's raining in Seattle and…your father said what?"

"Mom, I just…he said I was a spoiled brat and he brought up what happened with Uncle Mark," Carson said, biting her lower lip; repeating what her father said still hurt.

"Why would he…nevermind. Carson, you need to go back to the hospital or to Meredith's house," Addison said softly as Carson let out a growl of frustration; the stupid car in the next lane was refusing to let her over. She tapped the gas with her foot to get ahead of them. Maybe the next car would let her over.

"Carson I know you're upset but taking your father's girlfriend's car isn't the…hello? Carson? Carson? Carson!" Addison shouted into the receiver.

Carson was trying to respond to her mother, though she dropped her phone onto the floor.

"Shit," Carson muttered; she couldn't reach down to pick up her phone.

She still needed to get over, but the stupid car beside her refused to get over. She picked up more speed and finally had enough room to get over. However, what she wasn't counting on was the car she was trying to get over in front of to cut her off. Carson hit her breaks but it was too late; the other car hit hers, causing her to fishtail. Carson tried not to panic, but with the weather being as bad as it was, she couldn't help but panic. She tried to swerve in order to avoid hitting other cars but her breaks stalled; great, just great. There was nothing else she could do; she was going to crash. She grabbed the steering wheel and prepared for impact; she silently prayed to God that she didn't die.

She could still hear her mother shouting her name when she crashed.

oOoOo

"Alright people, we've got a multiple MVC coming in. I have to warn you that Shepherd's daughter was involved in the crash," Dr. Webber informed his trauma team as everyone began to ask a million questions.

"Calm down everyone; Derek said she seemed fine but , this kid is still one of ours. Robbins…" Dr. Webber began as Arizona nodded.

"Karev and I will take good care of her chief," Arizona said as Dr. Webber nodded.

"Hunt, we've got one driver with multiple fractures, a severe head lack, and a crushing chest-abdominal injury. Think you can handle it?" Owen nodded his head before assigning an intern to prep a trauma bay.

"Chief," Mark was running towards Dr. Webber, Callie following close behind.

"She's fine Sloan; Derek was out looking for her when he saw the crash. They're 6 minutes out," Dr. Webber informed him as Callie breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank God; see Mark, I told you Carson would be fine," Callie smiled.

"Carson might be, but Addison's not," Mark said as he locked eyes with his best friend's ex-wife.

"Addison? When did you-" Dr. Bailey asked, completely surprised to see her friend.

"Not now, Bailey; Mark, where is she? Where's Carson?" Addison asked; she looked completely frazzled as Mark pulled her into a hug.

"She's fine Red; she was in an accident, but Derek found her. She's 6 minutes out," Mark said, still rubbing circles on Addison's back as she let out shuddering breaths.

"Did he really bring up the cheating?" Addison whispered, cautiously gazing up at Mark.

"He did; he knows it was stupid Addie," Mark explained as Addison sighed.

"Where's Ryan?" She asked.

"He's still at Meredith's," Mark replied.

"Could you go get him, please? As soon as Carson gets checked out we're going back to LA," Addison said firmly as Callie stared at her.

"Addison, you can't-"

"Callie, stay out of this; my daughter could've lost her life tonight. I can't trust Derek with them, not after this," She said as Dr. Webber stepped in front of her.

"Addie, Derek said she was fine when he found her at the scene, but you know how those things go. With her adrenaline rushing, anything could be wrong with her. Just, give us a chance to look at her before you make any decisions," Dr. Webber urged; he knew how to get through to her and it worked.

"Derek had better hope to god that she's alright, because if she's not…"

"We're the best Addie; you know we're gonna take good care of her," Dr. Webber said soothingly.

"Dr. Bennett, surprise seeing you here, and without Archer," Dr. Bailey said as she greeted Naomi.

"Dr. Bailey, nice to see you again, I just hate that we keep meeting like this," Naomi said as she shook Dr. Bailey's hand.

"I hate it too; you didn't answer my question,"

"Archer and I broke up a while ago…it didn't work out," Naomi said bitterly.

"We haven't met before; Miranda Bailey, I'm a friend of Addison's and you are?" Dr. Bailey asked.

"Kevin Nelson, Officer Kevin Nelson; I'm Addison's boyfriend," Kevin said as he shook Dr. Bailey's hand. Mark and Callie eyed Kevin suspiciously before turning their attention to Addison.

"You never mentioned having a boyfriend the last time we talked, or ever," Callie said as Mark continued eyeing the other man.

"Name's Mark Sloan," Mark said as held out a hand for Kevin to shake.

"So you're the best friend that she slept with," Kevin said as Addison's eyes widened.

"Kevin!" She hissed as Dr. Bailey and Callie smirked.

"What?" Kevin said with a shrug.

"Mark, Kevin, Kevin, Mark; Mark is Derek's best friend and he's Carson and Ryan's godfather," Addison explained as she silently warned both men to get along.

"Nice to meet you," Kevin said, finally extending a hand for Mark to shake as Mark grunted in response.

"I'm gonna go…do something; I'm sure you've got some babies that need to be saved?" Addison said to Richard who simply chuckled.

"I've got a few laboring moms who would love to see you, Addie," Richard said as Addison quickly made her way away from Mark and Kevin.

"Page me the second she gets here!" Addison called out as she motioned for Naomi to follow her.

"Well, things are about to get interesting," Callie muttered as Dr. Bailey agreed.

"Addison coming to town is always interesting," Dr. Bailey chuckled, giving Mark and Kevin one last glance as the two continued to stare at one another.

Chapter 2 to follow…

Hello, my pretties!

So some of you may remember this story from a while ago. I went through a major deleting spree of stories that were repetitive, lacked reviews and responses, and ideas I just couldn't follow through with. I really have faith in this series because of the concept, which is really awesome. So it's basically a 4 part story if you count the prequel 'Regret'. It starts around the Season 6 finale, which makes it canon divergent. There are certain characters present like Izzie, Teddy Altman, and Lexie Grey. This story is a bit of a crossover, seeing as Addison is in Los Angeles at the beginning. I have to tell you that while this story is Addek endgame strong, there will be references to Maddison, MerDer, and Slexie. With that being said, I hope you all enjoy and please feel free to leave a review!

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