Glass

by Sea-Pig-Out-Of-Water

There's this old figure of speech that my Dad uses sometimes when I'm feeling down. "Don't think of the glass as half empty. Think of it as half full," He tells me, "Try to find the silver lining in every situation, and you'll feel much better." The problem is, my glass isn't half full or half empty. It's been tipped over and all the water is spilling everywhere, making everything cold and wet and... uncomfortable.

The kiss is what knocked over my glass in the first place. I was doing fine until you decided to come and ruin everything, standing up to me and calling me out for being such a bully. And when the water finally spilled, my emotions ran wild. I was so infuriated and in love that I reached out and kissed you right on the lips. And after that, the water just kept draining, getting on everything in my life that I thought I had under control.

There had been other times when the glass had almost fallen. Like whenever someone called me gay, or when I was in the locker room and started staring at some muscle-y guy in the showers. But I would always maintain my emotions and keep them under control.

I can't seem to do that anymore.

I'm angry. Angry that you have it so easy. Your Dad loves you for who you are. You have supporting and helpful friends that stick up for you. You even found a stupid gay prep-school guy you like and a new school where you're safe. You can be yourself naturally, something I will never be able to do without sacrificing my only friends and family, and my reputation.

I'm heartbroken. You wanted to help at first, but I pushed you and your stupid prep-school boyfriend away and didn't let you in to my heart. You never saw what I really felt. And now you hate me and everything that I am. You have no room in your heart for a monster like me. And you have no idea how much I love you. Your sparkling blue-green eyes. Your shiny coiffed hair, in it's beautiful shade of brown. Your dainty form. Your pale skin, so soft to touch. Your delicious lips. Your stunning voice. Your amazing clothes and grades and friends. I hardly deserve someone so perfect. You must understand that very well, because you obviously don't think a chubby boy who sweats too much and will be bald by the time he's thirty, like me, will ever have anyone.

Especially someone like you.

And I'm scared. I admit it. The only reason I threatened your life is so you wouldn't tell anyone at McKinley my secret. If anybody knew I'm gay, my whole world would end. I'd be kicked out of the house. My friends would abandon me. The town would turn it's back on me. And worst of all, not even the Glee Club would want me! I would be all alone with no one to talk to.

Now that the kiss has made my glass tip over and spill its contents everywhere, my life is a complete mess. And you're the only one who can help me clean it back up.

Love,

Dave Karofsky

Authors Note: I guess this is the letter Dave wrought to Kurt in Chapter Three of Cloud 9. Go read that if you haven't. It's really good kurtofsky (in my opinion, anyways). This started out as a spur-of-the-moment prompt-driven idea, that became the letter to Kurt. I hope you liked it! And I hope more people review chapter 4 of Cloud 9 because I HAVEN'T GOTTEN ANY YET! *SAD FACE*.

Review + favorite + alert = love + me writing the sequel to Cloud 9 faster (which I am in the midst of planning).

~ Sea Pig