Tears spilled from Taylor Swift's blues eyes as she as she lay, curled up in bed. She wasn't sprawled out in the middle of the bed like she would have any day before. Now she only stayed on the left side, her side. She was always careful not to mess up his side. That side of the bed was always perfectly made, like it was the day he broke her heart.
Taylor was always very independent, even from a young age. And that was a problem. He was a gentleman. He liked to open doors, pull out seats, and pay checks. She didn't like that. Since she was in middle school her grandmother drilled into her head that she should be able to fend for herself, not have to depend on a man. So when they'd go out for dinner Taylor would insist on paying the bill. That would lead to a fight. The night usually ended in tears.
Taylor also didn't mind being alone. Since she was always in the spotlight, any time she could be alone was welcome. He wasn't clingy. In fact he was the opposite. But he likes to spend a lot of time with his girlfriend. Instead of watching TV with him, she'd watch it alone. But, now as she lay in bed crying she realized how much she wanted him. How much she needs him here when she cries, to hold her close and tell her everything's alright. That's just not an option anymore.
A soft sigh escaped her lips as she turned to her other side. Her finger softly made lines up and down the side of the bed where he used to sleep. She slammed her hand on the bed, stopping her previous movement. She had enough of this. Her tears had dried up, and she was so sick of drowning in self pity. She sat up, swung her legs over the edge. She didn't move.
She wasn't the perfect girlfriend that much was clear. But when he was with her she felt-whole. Everything was right. But, now that he's gone that feeling is gone. It's like her heart screams his name...or more accurately the pieces of her heart. She missed seeing his face everyday, the way he practically glowed when he would look at her. It was like she was his entire world.
But what she missed the most was his comforting words. She has so many people watching her, waiting for any chance to bring her down. When it got too much to handle she'd call him up crying and they would have hour long conversations. That "conversation" would mostly consist of her complaining and him repeating "everything will be okay" over and over again. But that didn't matter. Those four words still got her through the day. "Damn it," she whispered suddenly, into the dark room. She missed him like crazy.
She propped her elbows on her legs and rested her head on her hands. Her blonde curls fell over her face. She remembered how he use to sit like this after they'd fight. She never felt this way before. Everything that she does reminds her of him, even just sitting on the edge of her bed.
She spotted something on the floor. It was his sweatshirt, her favorite thing to wear. She quickly got to her feet and walked towards it. She bent down, picking it up with her left hand. She brought it to her face and inhaled deeply. It smelt just like him.
She slipped it on over her flimsy tank top. It was so big on her but she never mind. Wearing his sweatshirt made her feel like herself again. She sighed. They were perfect together. She knew, she always had.
She grabbed her phone from the night table beside the bed and pressed the button to get to the contacts. She scrolled down until she got to the Js. Jonas, Joe. She clicked the green button to call him. It rang, which was a good thing. He might pick up the phone. But a few seconds later she got the answering machine. "Joe-" her voice sounded foreign to her, it didn't sound like her at all. "I know I'm the last person you want to hear from but I need to tell you some things. I wasn't perfect, I was far from it. But, just like everything else I do, I put my heart and soul into us. That wasn't enough for you and I understand that. I also understand you found someone better than me. I just wanted to say I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted. Please, call me back," she paused briefly. "I miss you," she whispered softly before hanging up her phone.
She knew, deep in her heart, he was never going to call her.