Pelly and I (look at the good grammar!) have been thinking about this fanfic for a couple days now. I finally decided to write it today when...well...I felt like writing. I'm currently listening to Candy Baby...it's a song on my friend Cookie's gaiaonline profile. It's so fun to dance around to. And I like to dance in the kitchen... not that you care. -.-;;
Uchiha Itachi had just returned to Akatsuki headquarters a few short moments ago. He had been on yet another mission that was far beneath him. All he'd had to do was kill some weak shinobi who happened to have found their hideout. Pathetic! Shouldn't they have people for this? And if they didn't...why not send her.
That stupid woman. Itachi had always hated her, ever since he came to the Akatsuki. That stupid blue-loving woman with a flower in her hair. What kind of S-rank criminal wears a flower in their hair? It was just not done! Itachi crushed a rock in his hand, turning it to powder.
He and his younger brother were more alike then they would ever understand.
Afterall, the two of them were both rather cold, both enjoyed crushing rocks with their bare hands, and both thought that the woman they secretly liked was the most annoying creature on the planet. However, there was one major difference; Sasuke had a chance. And Itachi? Never in a million years would the beautiful Konan like him.
She liked Pain.
And what kind of a name was Pain anyway? Itachi had come to the conclusion that the man called leader was just trying to flaunt his own power with that damned name. He probably wasn't even that powerful. He was probably weak, and that was why he sent Konan to do all of his dirty work. Poor Konan...always forced to do things beneath her vast skill-
Wait...hadn't he just been saying how weak she was? Well, that wasn't the point. The point was that damn leader of theirs. Itachi desperatly wanted to walk up to the man, 'Pain'fully rip his balls off, and hand them to Konan on a platter. Wouldn't his sweet little flower be surprised by that? She probably didn't even like Pain anyway.
How could she? He probably ordered her around all the time. He probably didn't respect her opinions. He probably made her do horrible things...things that Itachi would never- Okay...he would. But that wasn't the point right now! The point was that Itachi was a much better man for Konan than Pain would ever be.
Weak, possessive, bossy, abusive; Itachi would bet anything that Pain was all of these things. How could someone with all of those piercings not be a complete freak? Ha! Piercings! He was probably just trying to look tough! Itachi didn't need piercings to look tough. He was manly and strong without any type of outward markings. People just knew!
Well...except that one woman on the street last Friday. And that guy in the Grass Village yesterday. Really? What kind of shinobi, drunk or not, would walk up to the Uchiha Itachi, call him baby, kiss him on the cheek, and ask him if he wanted to get a room? It was disgusting! The alchol must have gone to this man's head...he was obviously not a woman! It was probably just the ponytail and...the man was probably gay! That must've been it.
Even if Kisame did disagree...Who cares? No one liked Kisame anyway!
The Uchiha threw his cloak on a chair nearby and sat down on the floor next to it, letting out a growl-like grunt as he hit the cold cement. Sasuke would be cracking up right about now if he knew what was going on in his elder brother's mind. Well, maybe not; Uchiha's didn't usually laugh. But Sasuke would be damn close.
A sound, coming from the left hallway on the second floor, caught Itachi's attention. He stood and walked toward the staircase, hearing more sounds. There was a loud bang. Itachi's eyes narrowed and he walked a bit faster. Was that coming from Pain's room?
There were a few more noises, like something (or someone) being thrown against the wall. Hn! Itachi knew Pain was abusive! Now he could catch him in the act, kick his ass to hell, and become the new leader of Akatsuki. He and Konan would be married and all would be right. Except for the fact that the body made another noise as it hit the wall.
And it sounded like a man, grunting, instead of a woman.
Itachi was intrigued. Maybe...maybe Pain was gay! Wouldn't Konan be heartbroken? And he'd be there, as a shoulder to cry on! Ha! He was playing this perfectly. He'd have his woman yet!
...Was that Konan screaming? At Pain? Oh my- When did she learn that word? Itachi's eyes widened with every syllable the blue-haired woman spoke. She was...she was...she was kinda scary. But definatly a hot, smexy kinda scary. Itachi stood and listened for a few moments, until a slightly-beaten looking Pain fell out the door of his room.
Yes, not walked. Fell.
"And don't come back until you bring me some ice cream, bitch!" Itachi heard Konan yell from inside the room. Pain ran away, a slightly perverse look upon his face, towards the kitchen.
Itachi decided to stay away from this hallway from now on.