A/N: My other LoTL based fiction. This is much more a missing scene and is just one take on what might have happened to The Doctor during 'the year that never was'.
DR D came up with the title – which says it all. The Doctor may be old but he NEVER gives up. It comes from the poem – To The Fallen by Laurence Binyon.
Kudos to you my friend.
FB is always welcome.
Age Shall Not Wither Him
I am old but I've never BEEN old before. I've lived 900 years in a succession of bodies, some young, some not so young but none of them old. It's a strange sensation and not one that I enjoy because, although my body is old, my mind isn't. My mind is the same as it was a year ago when my body could keep pace with its lightening changes of direction and flashes of inspiration. Now my body can hardly keep pace with what passes for my life here in the world of the Master, let alone with any plans or ideas I might once have had of escape and freedom.
Almost a year has passed since I failed to stop the Master and in doing so unleashed more death and destruction than one planet should ever have to suffer. I tried reason and logic and even heartfelt passionate pleas all to no avail. He was mad, years and years of the constant drumming in his head had made him so, and the last, the VERY last person he wanted to listen to was me and so he made me old.
He made me old and weak but left my mind intact knowing I would HAVE to do something, knowing I would have to try and save the Earth. He wanted me to try just so that he could punish me and I'm sorry to say that I didn't disappoint him or him me.
I stood by and watched as he 'decimated' the population of the world. Millions upon millions of people wiped from the face of the planet like they had never even existed. He thought that this would break the will of those who were left, making it easier for him to stand on high as their Lord and Master issuing his instructions for his crazed vision of a brave new world. It almost worked too, except that he didn't understand the true nature of humans, their instinct not just to survive but to survive on their own terms. I knew he would never truly rule all the people, there would always be some who stood up to him, and I used that knowledge to send Martha Jones on a quest to help me. She had to find these people and unite them with a belief in something stronger than evil.
He let me watch as his men dragged Jack away struggling and cursing with every step, typical bravado from a man who cannot die. We both knew what he could expect from the Master, to suffer and die over and over until the novelty wore off. My eyes told him I was sorry, his eyes told me not to be, that he understood and that he still believed in me. He still believed that I could save not only him but ALL the people of the Earth.
Martha's family were next, pushed from the flight deck in a huddled mass, clinging to each other for support, looking to me to help them. There was nothing I could do, no words I could say to encourage them. All the things they had done for Harold Saxon, thinking they were helping Martha, saving her from me, had been exposed as nothing more than a sham. They had seen their world literally destroyed before their eyes and they were empty broken people. For now all they had was each other and I had to believe they still had some hope in Martha if no longer in me.
The Master sent Lucy away and dismissed most of his guards leaving us for all intents and purposes alone. The last of a great race reduced to this, a madman and an old man, how did we ever let that happen?
I struggle to my feet, every bone and muscle aching, every joint creaking, I really don't enjoy being old, and grip the edge of the table for support as I try once again to reason with the Master.
"There has to be another way." I say still unused to how my voice sounds as old as my body feels.
"Why – I like this way! This way is MY way."
"But these people, they never did anything, they never…"
"And that was their undoing Doctor" I was sure that now there was more venom in his voice at the use of my name. "They did 'nothing' they just followed me like lambs to the slaughter." He laughed out loud "Yes, lambs to the slaughter…very funny that don't you think Doctor?"
I didn't answer him.
"What makes you so righteous Doctor? You have done far worse things than I have. How DARE you judge me with your silent indignation." His face was just inches from mine now and I could feel the flecks of spit land as his rage grew. "You destroyed OUR people, your OWN race! That's genocide Doctor pure and simple, face the fact, GENOCIDE."
His rage boiled over into violence as he pushed me backwards, my old legs failed me and I stumbled and fell to the hard floor. The fall winded me badly and as I lay there gasping for breath I could hear him laughing, no doubt at the pathetic old man at his feet, and I longed to be myself again, a proper match for the Master. He bent low, kneeling on one knee by my head.
"How does it feel Doctor? Does it hurt inside to know that I've won?"
"You haven't won yet" my voice is more ragged than ever and my words must have sounded so hollow to those who heard them.
"This world is mine, you are mine. That sounds like winning to me, Doctor."
He was right, in a way, he had won. The world was his slave and I was his prisoner and for now there was nothing I could do to change that. It wouldn't always be like this but for now it had to be. I had to get through whatever came next, I had to believe in Martha and I had to wait.
"Get this…thing out of my sight!" he barked as strong hands pulled me to my feet and I was more dragged than marched off the flight deck "And don't be too careful with it!"
He had chosen his guards well because they followed his orders without question and with just a little too much enthusiasm for my liking. By the time I reached the small windowless room that was to be my prison I was cut, bruised and bleeding everything ached and every breath was a struggle. They threw me through the door, laughing as I crashed against the far wall and slid to the floor. Their laughter was the last thing I heard as one of them swung his rifle into my head and the world went dark.
For I don't know how long this room was all I ever saw, the endless time only punctuated by infrequent visits from Tish or Francine who came with something that was supposed to pass for food but didn't quite. They were always accompanied by guards and so our chances to talk were limited, I didn't want to endanger their lives any more than I had done already. I did learn that they worked for the Master as his personal servants tending to his needs day and night. They had seen some of his 'handiwork' on the Earth – he never could resist boasting about his achievements even when we were children – and told me what they could. It seemed he was building a fleet of spaceships but why still eluded me.
They looked more tired and drawn each time they visited, worn down by servitude to a madman and by the worry of not knowing about Martha, if she was still alive on the broken planet beneath us and by what I had asked of her. They worried for me too, helplessly imprisoned as I was, waiting for my chance, waiting for our chance to break free. I got them into this mess, I lost them their world as they knew it and yet they still cared about me, doing what they could to ease my time as the Master's prisoner. Humans………what a brilliant race!!
I didn't see the Master again for a long time, although there were times when I knew he was just outside my cell because I could hear the tapping of his fingers on the metal door, the same incessant rhythm that he had used to hypnotize the Earth. We both know it won't work on me, I won't be seduced by the tapping, I can't be seduced by the drumming. I think he just does it now because he can't stop. He tapped and he tapped but he never opened the door, maybe he thought the loneliness would send me as mad as he was. The Jones's told me that he never spoke of me either; he would fly into an often violent rage if they mentioned my name to him. It was nice to know that I still got under his skin.
I knew it wouldn't last; the Master couldn't stay away from me forever. He would come and when he did he would gloat and preen and talk endlessly of his own self importance and I would listen and say nothing. It had always been that way, from childhood to this desolate place we now find ourselves in, he talked and I listened. He LOVED the sound of his own voice and he was never short of an irrational or impossible plan to talk about. Sometimes, in my solitude, my thoughts would turn back to those days, days when we were just children and all his plans were just dreams. If I'd been more, astute maybe, I might have seen the darkness in his eyes and his soul but he was my friend and so I chose not to look. Now he is my enemy and the darkness has consumed him and yet still I know that he is me and I am him. We are the last of the Time Lords and enemy or not I must try to help him.
Once again I can hear the Master outside drumming his fingers against the door. What seems now like a lifetime ago, and in many ways it is, he told me the drums in his head won't stop, they have, over the years taken their toll, driven him to a madness that will never stop until they do. If I can make him listen, make him see sense and reason get him to come with me then maybe I can help make the drums stop without causing his death. We are both already responsible for more of those than we should be. This time the drumming on the door stops and he is there, the man I would have as my friend if he would only let me.
For a long moment there is silence as we look at each other, almost as if we have never seen each other before. We both look so different to the last time we met although our reasons for meeting never seem to change with the times. He always wants to rule, to dominate and to gain power and I always seem to be in his way.
He seems a little more distracted and dishevelled than before, his shirt is sweat stained, his tie loose, he looks a little tired too. Obviously conquering the earth is taking its toll and although I don't know exactly what his plans are I can only hope that at least some of the human race are making life difficult for him. Sadly I notice the manic look in his eyes is as strong as ever.
"I hope you haven't been too lonely down here" it wasn't a question and so I didn't give it an answer, "only I've been SO busy with your pathetic little friends on Earth I haven't had the time to come and see how you are getting along without me."
He glanced around the small space noting I'm sure my own more than dishevelled appearance. "Cosy" he exclaimed sarcastically. He looked directly at me, "I have missed you on occasion you know, missed seeing the look on your face when I blew up another city, missed hearing you asking me over and over to stop. The place just hasn't been the same without you. I even miss the Jones woman, she would have made a good addition to my…. team" he paused, "still that freak Harkness has kept me amused."
My insides twisted at his words and the implications of what he would like to have done with Martha and what he was doing to Jack but I didn't rise to his bait, now wasn't the time or the place.
"Nothing to say for yourself then? No 'stop it Master' no 'I can save you Master' no whining on and on about us being the last of our race? Look at you, if you are the last of our race then I'm better off alone."
"So kill me." It's a dangerous bluff because I feel there is a part of him that could, would even, relish the chance to kill me and although there have been many times in my long life when I have thought that I wanted to die, to really and truly die, this wasn't one of them. There was still so much to do before Martha and the world ran out of time for good.
"What? And have you miss my MOST glorious achievement? I DON'T think so Doctor. I want you to be at my side when I finally tear this universe apart. I want to see you kneel at my feet and acknowledge me as the rightful Lord and Master of the new Time Lord Empire. An empire that I will rule until the end of ALL time."
"That day will never come and you know it." I didn't just mean that I would never kneel before him or acknowledge him as my ruler and he knew that. He knew that conquering the Earth was going to be his biggest battle. The human race would never fully accept his dominance and the only way he would rule them all would be to kill all those who opposed him and where was the victory in ruling a world like that?
"You have too much faith in the Human race Doctor, you always did have. That was why I chose to start here on Earth. I knew that if I put the planet you care about most, in danger then you would have to come running to save it. The last of the heroes. The last of the Time Lords. Only you are neither are you? You are just a sad old man who can't save himself let alone his…'friends'. Sorry Doctor but this is one battle that you can't win, one planet that you can't save. You loose. I win. Game over."
"Let me help you." I had seen the fervour in his eyes growing as he spoke and watched as, without conscious thought, he had started drumming his fingers on the wall of my cell. I could only guess that the drums he heard in his tortured mind were beating again, louder and louder as his journey towards the point where even I could no longer help him began again. "You have my Tardis, we can use that, go far away from here, we can travel through time and space until we find somebody, someplace something…anything that can help you." The words spilled from me in a rush as I rose slowly to my feet and approached the Master "Please, please don't keep doing this, let me help you."
There was a sudden eerie silence in the room. The Master had stopped tapping his fingers and stood staring at his hand as if it was possessed. I took another step and saw his ever present guards bristle in the corridor beyond, their trigger fingers curling around their weapons and I hoped that he had told them that he didn't want me dead just yet. Tearing his gaze from his hand he turned it on me and I saw the pain and the sorrow and his own loneliness etched in his features. Now was the time to press my advantage. I swallowed my distaste and used his name
"Master?" There was no response and his gaze seemed fixed in the middle distance as if he was lost in his own private world. "It's not too late, it's never too late. Stop your plans now, come away with me. I can help you."
The sad face of a tired old man looked back at me and for the briefest of moments I thought he was going to let me help him. I thought I saw a tear cloud his eye but before he could open his mouth to speak I heard the high pitched mechanical whine that preceded the arrival of one of his Toclafane spheres.
"We are ready to proceed with the next stage Master" the child like voice echoed in the corridor as the sphere hovered and spun just behind the Master. The Toclafane had been the stuff of children's nightmares back on Gallifrey, a made-up monster that you soon grew out of and yet he had chosen to use that name for the killing spheres he had unleashed on the Earth. I suppose for the population of the shattered and broken planet they had been and still were the stuff of their nightmares but for me they were more a source of questions without answers…what or who were they really?
The sphere's arrival broke the Master's reverie and any chance I had to reason with him was lost in less time that it took for the hardened look to return to his eyes and the sadness to pass from his face.
"What?" he demanded of the sphere as if he had been aware of it but hadn't heard
"We are ready to proceed" the sphere repeated.
"Not before time either!" the Master barked back without looking at the messenger. He started to turn away from me but then changed his mind, maybe he saw the curious look on my face.
"It's killing you isn't it Doctor, the fact that you can't work out what they really are and after all the time you've had to think. I always knew you were never as bright as you made out." He turned to the sphere and held out his hand, the spinning ball obediently settled on the palm of his hand like a pet. "They are my children Doctor."
"We like the nice man" the sphere chimed in as if seeking acceptance.
"Actually, if I think about it they are not just my children Doctor, they are everybody's children. They are the children of this world and when I am done with this world they will inherit it."
I knew that I should have worked out by now what they were and I felt like the answer was there – if only I had that last piece of information.
"What will you leave them to inherit?" I asked sarcastically "A dying planet populated by slaves adrift in space. Not much of a legacy is it?"
"I will leave them more than that. I will leave them their own future. You see Doctor, the paradox of my children is that they are the product of this time. You and I are not the only travellers in time." A sudden and frightening realisation hit me, I knew what they were! The Master saw that in my face and spun away from me laughing. He had contrived a way to use the population of a future earth to destroy this earth and I had helped him do it. I had frozen the coordinates of the Tardis so that all he could do was travel between here and the end of the universe where I had found him. He had done that time and again until he had found the last of the human race and turned their dream of Utopia into his version of hell.
The Toclafane were the last of the Human Race!
"You…you…." I couldn't get the words to form as I took a pathetic lunge at him, my patience finally snapped by the enormity of what he had done. I was met by the solid and very immovable bulk of his guards as he disappeared from my sight, his 'child' in tow. I could hear his laughter long after I could no longer see him as it echoed hollowly off the steel walls of The Valiant.
"Back inside" the bulk that blocked my way growled at me giving me just a little push for emphasis. I didn't want a fight so as quickly as my aching old limbs would carry me I backed away until finally the guard was satisfied and slammed the door shut with as much noise as he could muster.
Alone again I suddenly felt all of my 900 plus years – it was as if my body was as old as I was. I realized that I was shaking with a mixture of fury and sadness. I felt my own helplessness now more than I had ever done since the Master had aged my body. Would I ever be returned to normal or was I destined to live out whatever time the Master permitted me as a frail old man? Even if Martha could unite the people of Earth against the Master would it be enough to save me for without me the earth was doomed and with it the rest of the Universe? For the first time since I sent Martha away I had doubts, real doubts that I could do what was expected of me.
After that first visit from the Master I am not ashamed to say that I cried. It isn't something I allow myself to do very often and almost always only when I am alone….not good for the Time Lord image to be seen crying in public. Initially I cried for the plight of the human race now and in all the futures still to come. Tricked no doubt by the Master and now trapped into the horror that saw them become the cause of their own destruction was a cruel fate and one no race should have to face. Soon however, my thoughts and my tears turned inwards to the Time Lords, to the Master and eventually even to myself.
I thought about the destruction that resulted from the Time War, how I had been responsible for the demise of the oldest, wisest civilisation that the galaxy had ever seen. I was certain there would never be another civilization like it not in all my remaining regenerations and when they ended so did ANY chance of a new Time Lord Empire. The Master may have been planning a Time Lord Empire in his own likeness but, if it was my last act, if it cost me everything, which would be nothing less than I deserved, then I would stop him – I had to stop him. The Universe deserved to remember Gallifrey and the Time Lords for what they really were – peaceful, wise, kind….watchers and guardians of the Universe for its own benefit – not for the death and destruction that the Master would wreak in our name.
The Master probably didn't deserve the tears I shed for him and had I known the final act of vengeance he would unleash on me then I may have saved them. But I didn't and so I cried for him, driven by madness to turn his back on everything he could and should have been. As a child he was bright and charismatic some would even say hypnotic. He could have risen to the highest office in the Council, perhaps not all the way to President but certainly he could have been the Castellan. But if he had chosen that path then he too would be dead, killed by my hand in the Time War and I would truly be alone. The path of darkness and destruction he chose may ultimately be his saving if I can ever break through his hatred of me.
For myself my tears were of frustration and of loss. Frustration at how, maybe, I had let my need to help, my need to try and heal even the most broken of souls cloud my judgement so that I now found myself an old, tired and helpless prisoner.
The world, at least those who listened to Martha's story, were building an expectation of salvation that weighed heavier on me with each passing day. It is a burden that a younger, stronger version of myself would find hard to handle but I must handle it somehow, I must not give in to the dark thoughts that I am having now, for that will not only signal my end but also the end of everything but chaos.
I save a few tears for me….for all those I have loved and lost over my life, for their strength and their courage and their love. Some are dead, some no longer remember me, some I just left behind and it is for them, all of them, that I have to carry on.
My tears and my self pity are spent and my resolve is strengthened again. Time moves on and so do I. Once again I send myself into a deep trance and reach out through the walls of the Valiant into the cold dark environs of space searching for the telepathic field of the Archangel Network. The Master's greatest ally will become his undoing – I like the irony of that - as I link my mind and body to another matrix within the network and wait.
I hear from the Jones's that the Master's plans carry on without let up. That he continues to destroy vast tracts of the Earth, razing the land to nothing more than dust and ash, killing thousands more people just to satisfy his thirst for power. Those he doesn't kill he enslaves – forcing them to work in his factories building the rockets that when launched will awaken the whole galaxy to the Earth's existence – the Toclafane and the Archangel network keeping resistance to a minimum.
I wonder how much more they can watch before they break. They are only human and the human heart and mind was never meant to endure such torment. I know they wish they were on the Earth with their friends and family, with Martha, not stuck up here as helpless as I am to stop the Master. I think they stay strong for each other, for Martha and maybe even for me although I can tell that they keep their hatred for the Master and what he has done barely under control. I think they think they would kill him if they had the chance, but cold blooded murder is not an easy thing…….as the Master would remind me …. I should know.
The door swings open and the Master stands in the frame, a smug self-satisfied grin on his face. Unlike the last time he 'visited' me he is once more composed, his suit is crisp and clean and the tiredness that had marked his face seems lifted.
"Missing me yet Doctor?" he quips cheerily.
"Not really. Watching a madman destroy a world …..It's not really what I would choose to do with my days."
"Surely you don't think I'm mad Doctor. What I am doing is an act of genius not madness and it will be the saving of the Time Lords. When I have finished there won't be anybody… anything… left in the galaxy that doesn't know the name of the Time Lords. That doesn't know the name of The Master."
"Yes and for all the wrong reasons and that is why I have to stop you."
"Stop me Doctor, I doubt that. I mean look at you…" he trails off sadly there is no need for him to continue.
"I have to try, you know I do. What you are doing is wrong… it is so wrong. We aren't... we weren't a warring people, why change that?"
"You changed that Doctor when you let our people die" his voice was quieter laced now with the start of his anger. "How could you do that, how could you let them all die?"
"You told me you were there…when…." Even all these years later I found it hard to speak about what I saw and what I did during the Time War. It is something that lives within me every second of every day and always will. When I found out that I wasn't the last of my race it was like some of the weight of my actions was lifted. Maybe if there was one Time Lord then there could be others too, we could rebuild Gallifrey, back like it was in the days before the Daleks came, back when it was known as The Shining World of The Seven Systems. Then I found out the other Time Lord was the one who by rights shouldn't even be alive and the only one who wouldn't want to share my dream, the only one who wouldn't want to help my guilt.
"When what Doctor? When the Dalek Emperor took control of the Cruciform and the city fell?" his façade slipped for just a second and I was sure I saw the fear that he had felt, that I had felt too, cross his face. "Yes I was there but I knew there was nothing I could do except save myself, and so I ran. I just ran…no heroics no empty gestures just looking after Number 1."
"I tried to save them… I really did, but you were right there was nothing I could do, nothing anybody could have done to save them, and I tried I really did. I tried threats but nobody would listen. I tried to fight them myself but I just got hurt. I even tried to change the very fabric of space and time so that the events that set the war in motion never happened but I wasn't strong enough…I was alone and I just wasn't strong enough. So I had to let them die…all of them. Time Lords and Daleks…there was no other way."
"Still enough of this reminiscing eh Doctor, soon I will be the Master of the NEW Time Lord Empire and everything will once again be right with the universe. You couldn't stop the fall of one civilisation Doctor and you can't stop the rise of another."
"I'll ask you one more time…don't.." He cut me off with a wave of his hand.
"Save your breath, I've heard it all before. 'Don't do it Master, stop it Master, yaddah...yaddah...yaddah. Maybe I need to teach you a lesson Doctor a lesson in manners" and with that cryptic comment he turned on his heel and I was once more alone.
I hoped that his 'lesson' to me wouldn't involve any of those I cared for, Tish, Francine, Clive, even that serial trouble maker Jack. They were all suffering in their own versions of hell because of me, I didn't want to be the source of more anguish, more pain for any of them. I had to hope that whatever this lesson was that the Master wanted it to be a one on one with me.
I didn't have to wait long to find out what his lesson was….humiliation, how much…crap I would put up with, the end of anything that would make me feel like ….me.
I was brought to flight deck of the Valiant accompanied by a pair of burly guards, my hands cuffed behind me as if I was a dangerous criminal and not a tired old man. The flight deck hummed with a quiet efficiency, the Master had obviously lost none of the 'charm' he had used to worm his way into the hearts and minds of the people of Great Britain. The smart suited, bright young things worked diligently their only distraction being when the Master himself appeared. Then they would hang on his every word like converts to a new religion, which I suppose is what they were, brainwashed into believing that his actions would benefit us all. Knowing the Master when he succeeded, if he succeeded, in launching his deadly army into space, he would have no further need for the bright young things and he would either kill them or enslave them.
It wasn't fair and if he let me live then I would do everything I could to stop him, even if it meant that I had to die, better me than all these young people, whose lives were not yet written.
In one corner of the flight deck beside the stairs there was a dirty tarpaulin, hung to form a small tent like structure. The floor inside the tent had been covered with dirt and straw just like you would find in a kennel. The guards pushed me into one of the leather chairs which surrounded the board room style table that dominated the lower floor of the flight deck and we waited for the arrival of the man who would be king.
The doors to the flight deck slid almost silently open and the faint sound of music could be heard from the depths of the ship. The music grew louder as the Master got closer and closer.
Preceding him onto the flight deck came Jack, closely shackled hand and foot, his clothes were torn and dirty and his face bruised and bloody, brutish guards were both in front and behind him itching it seemed for him to try something. His tired eyes flickered to life when he saw me.
"Hiya Doc. Long time no see" his jovial comments earned him a short sharp blow in the midriff from his captors which took his breath away. I opened my mouth to answer him but the shadow that fell across me as one of my own guards moved behind me told me that maybe it would be better if I kept my own counsel this time. Instead I just nodded at Jack, acknowledging him as they shoved him into a chair at the opposite end of the table to me. Jack, being Jack, couldn't help himself.
"Nice to sit down for a change" he said as he did his best to get as comfortable as his close fitting chains would allow. "So Doc… how ya been?" The backhanded blow from one of the guards split his lip. "You hit like a girl!" he mumbled spitting blood onto the pristine floor. The guard drew himself up to his full height before showing Jack that he could punch like a man too.
"Enough!" the Master's voice cut through the music and brought an abrupt end to Jack's beating.
"Is that the best you got?" Jack chided wiping the blood from his face with his bound hands.
"Jack, stop it!" despite the possibility of getting beaten like Jack had been I had to say something.
"What, a guy can't have a little fun anymore?"
"Jack…….." Although he couldn't die he could still bleed and he could still be hurt and I didn't want to have to sit here and watch him go through either.
Resignedly he held up us hands "Ok Doc I get it…"
"Shut up the pair of you, NOW!" the Master yelled not used to being virtually ignored in his own domain. He clicked his fingers and a young man appeared at his side. "Get one of the Jones's up here now to clean up this mess, in fact get them all up here."
"Yes Sir."
"Now then not so pretty any more Captain Jack... you've made a mess of my nice clean floor and I don't think that is very nice. Do you?"
"Bite me psycho!"
"Jack...don't" I warned already knowing it was futile.
"Why? In case he kills me again, like he hasn't done that a hundred times already" Jack's anguish and frustration was evident in his voice.
"Wrong again FREAK……..it's one hundred and ONE!" He crowed gleefully pulling out his laser screwdriver and blasting Jack at close range. Jack didn't even have time to react before he was dead….again.
"You didn't need to do that" I hissed furiously at the Master as he looked disdainfully down at Jack whose crumpled body had fallen from the chair and now lay at his feet. He spun to face me his laser screwdriver once more held out in front of him, his eyes wild and shining with his madness. For a second I thought that he would kill me too, he seemed so unfocused, and I wondered if in my next regeneration I would be ginger… I'd always wanted to be ginger. But no searing blast came my way.
"What did you say?"
"I said that you didn't have to kill him."
"Yes, you would say that wouldn't you. But you know what I say…Doctor…..I say why not kill him again? Why not kill the good Captain; we all know that he can't really die."
As if on cue Jack spluttered and gasped coming back to life with what I can only imagine is a painful jolt.
"Jack, you alright?" I called out. A cough and a mumbled comment that I couldn't quite catch were his only response as he allowed himself to be pulled off the floor and back into the chair. He raised his head from where it rested on his chest and gave me a slight smile and I knew that although he was hurting inside he would, eventually, be alright again. I didn't know what toll his continued deaths were taking on his body and whether or not one of them might be his final one, but I did know that his resolve to hang on and his belief in me was as strong as ever and my own determination to succeed was strengthened again.
The Master hadn't wavered when Jack returned to life; I suppose he had seen it so many times already, he kept his gaze and his laser screwdriver firmly fixed on me.
"How touching. Now shut up!" he raised his free hand to his temple and started rubbing his head as if trying to ease a pain. "Can you hear them Doctor, the drums, the endless drums, louder and louder, in my mind all the time, they never seem to stop. Can you hear them Doctor?"
"No" I answered sadly. I knew that the endless noise in his mind was one reason for his actions. "Tell me about the drums; tell me what I can do to help you. I've been alone for so long, but now I have you...we have each other. We need to stay together now, we are the last sons of Gallifrey and we need each other. Let me help you…please" I choke back my own needs "Master".
"I thought they would stop, I thought that when I did what they told me then they would stop. But they don't…they never stop….more and more they want from me….they are….they are inside my head Doctor all the time, even when I'm asleep. They want me, all of me all the time".
He looked at me and for a second I saw not the Master but the boy I had known as a child. I saw both the fear and the fanaticism of the truly mad on his face and wondered how I would have faired if I had, had the courage to look into the Untempered Schism, would it have sent me mad too? Then all too quickly the boy was gone replaced once more by the man. He dropped his hand from his head, smiled a weary, slightly sad smile that didn't reach all the way to his eyes and pocketed his laser screwdriver before he said
"But they will stop. I will make them stop by giving them this world and the next and the next until they do." I'm sure his words were for his own conviction and not for any other reason.
There was a bustle of noise as the young man he had sent to fetch the Jones's returned with them. I saw how they stood together for strength and safety as they waited for the Master to do or say something, Clive was just a little to the front of his wife and daughter, standing as tall as he dared, he knew that now it was his responsibility to keep them safe. Their ordeal had made them a family again and I hoped it would last into whatever the future held for them. Francine and Tish looked little better than the last time I had seen them, their eyes showed that they still lived and worked in fear of what the Master might do despite the hope and relief that flashed across their faces when they saw that Jack and I were still alive.
"Ah……..the Jones family. Welcome, welcome one and all" the Master's tone was suddenly light any darkness he had felt had lifted with their arrival. Now he was back on the big stage with an audience to play to and he wasn't going to let them down…..even if they didn't really care for his performance. "Now then lets' get on shall we?"
Firstly he went up to Clive who still held the mop he used in his daily work of trying to keep the Valiant clean.
"I see you came prepared….good. Now get over there and clear up the mess that you're not so late or lamented friend the good Captain made of my floor". For just a moment Clive didn't move and I saw his hand tighten on the shaft of his mop as if he wanted to use it for more than just cleaning until he remembered that his family stood beside him and his actions would no doubt rebound on them.
"Yes Sir" he mumbled through gritted teeth casting a swift glance back at the others and being rewarded by encouraging and understanding looks from them both before doing the Master's bidding.
"Now then – what's next? Ah yes …..the Doctor and the reason you are all here" he turned to address the guard who stood behind me. "Free him" I can't say that I wasn't relieved to be free of the handcuffs, my shoulders ached and my wrists were sore, but I tried not to let the Master see my relief.
"I have decided that the Doctor should stay up here with me now, all the better for him to be able to watch the dawning of my new empire. No…Doctor…. There's no need to thank me, not yet." I let my response die on my lips as the Master glared dangerously in Jack's direction, his meaning all too obvious, speak and he dies again.
"Ever since I came to this sad little planet and saw humans with their pets I've wanted a pet too. We never had pets on Gallifrey, did we Doctor? They were considered a what? A frivolous waste of time, time that could be better spent with a dusty old book or on some endless debate that never solved anything. It would have been nice to have had a pet instead don't you think so Doctor? And now… now I can have the pet I've always wanted…"
The Master had been walking around the flight deck as he spoke but now once more he turned to face me and the realisation wasn't long in coming to any of us, the Master wanted a pet and I was it. Well if that was his idea then I was afraid that I would have to disappoint him, I wasn't anybody's pet.
"I won't be your pet."
"Wrong again Doctor and let me tell you how I know you are wrong. You are wrong because I have your friends here and…" he let his words trail off as he traced Tish's jaw line with his finger tips
"Leave her alone" I demanded.
"Me?" he asked innocently before he leant in and placed a chaste kiss on the side of her face. She stiffened with revulsion and hatred and turned her head away from him. "Now Tish, that's not very nice is it? Maybe your Mother would be more receptive."
"Stop it!"
"And………"
"Promise me you'll leave them alone, all of them and that means Jack as well and I'll do what you want" I knew the Master's promises weren't really to be relied on but I had to try and stop him. The pain he would inflict on Clive, the death he would inflict on Jack, I knew these were nothing compared to what his 'appetite' would allow him to do to the girls. Clive and Jack would take their punishments if it saved the others but I could save them all…the price was only my pride.
"You'll do it anyway Doctor, because you care too much…a failing I don't intend to ever suffer from...and the thought, the mere thought of what I just MIGHT do to your friends. Well you could never let that happen could you? You always were a bleeding heart."
"At least he has a heart" Francine piped up "And no matter what you do to him, what you make him do, he'll always be twice the man you are."
The fact that she had the courage to speak out for me and to show her belief in me, after all she had been through in the last few months, was humbling and there was nothing that the Master could do to me now that would make me do anything to shake that belief.
I looked at her now, scared of what the Master might do and huddled behind Clive for safety and tried to reassure her with a smile.
"What is it you want from me?" I asked wearily, suddenly tired of his threats.
"On your knees Doctor" he ordered before manically rushing up to the top deck and retrieving an old fashioned hand bell. He leapt down the stairs, put the bell at his feet and was waiting tapping his foot impatiently.
"Get a move on old man" he growled.
I wasn't going to be rushed, and now I knew my slowness was a further irritation to him I took even longer than I needed to. Petty…….yes maybe…..but why not? He was stood at the foot of the stairs beside the makeshift tent and pulled back the flap, gesturing expansively with his free hand.
"Your new home, nice isn't it! Why don't you just crawl on inside it until I tell you that you can come out again? Oh and be QUICK about it or I might just loose my patience and then…." He made his free hand into the shape of a gun, pointed it in Jacks' direction and mockingly 'shot him' before he used the same hand to wave and blow a kiss in the direction of Francine and Tish. His message was perfectly clear and whilst I didn't believe that he might not carry out his threats anyway I had no choice but to do as he demanded and hope that my presence might just help keep him away from them.
This was not the time or the place to be concerned about pride or feeling humiliated, the fate of the world was still in the balance and I needed time to complete my plans so I pushed my feelings down inside me and I crawled on my hands and knees, just like a dog, until I was almost at the entrance to my 'home'. I could feel Jack's anger like a palpable living being emanating from him and knew that eventually he would make somebody pay for what the Master was doing to me. I hoped that I wasn't there when he did! I heard a quiet almost stifled sob that I guess came from Francine although I didn't dare look in her direction to find out. When this was all over I would try and make it up to her, and the others too, maybe take them all for a trip in the Tardis, although I realised that a better idea would be to let them have Martha back. Then they could be a complete family again.
The Master blocked my entrance, standing over me like the colossus he believed himself to be.
"When I want you I will ring this bell" he said kicking the bell at his feet, "then and ONLY then will you be allowed out, otherwise ….out of sight…out of mind." He moved to allow me to enter, helping me along with a not so gentle kick as I passed by. He dropped the tent flap and turned away.
"What are all these people doing here?" he demanded "Don't they have work to do…well?" I heard the scurrying of feet as the Master's people hurried to do his bidding. His voice was fainter now as he too left the flight deck.
"I have a headache… I need a massage….send ………to my room."
Most of the time the flight deck of the Valiant was a busy place and although I couldn't see much more than shadows and feet I could hear a lot of what was said, allowing me to try and judge how far along the Master's plans were, to try to judge how much more time I had before the instruction I gave to Martha meant that time, was quite literally, up. At what I guessed was night the noise fell to a background hum which I quickly learnt to tune out. I used this time to continue my search for the Archangel Network and when I found another piece of it I linked myself to it.
The Master took great delight in ringing his bell and calling me to his side so that I could watch him destroy another part of the Earth; soon I feared there would be nothing left for him to destroy. He goaded me as he made me watch his devastation, gloating and taunting me with his words and his actions. I said nothing when he turned the Russian Steps into an irradiated wasteland that would be uninhabitable for the next thousand years, nothing when he wiped out the population of South Africa in a single afternoon. He tried to get me angry or sad, he tried to get me to laugh or cry and I gave him nothing. I only spoke to him if I had to and then only enough to ensure the safety of the others. It didn't always ensure my own safety and several times I returned to my 'home' bruised or bleeding. I had my plan and for all my inactions cost me and cost the human race I had to stick to it.
Every time I was allowed out onto the flight deck I made sure that I took note of the time ticking down on the countdown clock as it moved with what seemed like unnatural haste to just a day before a whole year would have passed. I had decided that I should try and stop the Master myself, before the countdown ended. Although I had heard the Master's rants at reports of resistance to his plans and that at the heart of that resistance was Martha Jones, maybe when the time came it still wouldn't be enough.
I had one more day to try and stop the Master, so with the help of Francine who acted as a go between we planned to make our move. Jack and Clive would set up diversions which would hopefully distract the Master long enough for me to be able to get my hands on his laser screwdriver and then………well whether or not I could actually kill him I would only know when, if, the time ever came. It wasn't much of a plan but I had to try something.
The day dawned:
"Citizens rejoice your Lord and Master stands on high playing track number three………"