This idea came to me and I was cracking up the whole time! I hope you like it! I'm not too sure if this is going to be a one shot or a story, but please review to tell me! Hermione's 7th year and IGNORES DUMBLEDORE'S DEATH AND SEVERUS' DEATH…you know eventually.

I attempted humor so I don't know if I sucked at it or not, but please use you imagination and think of Snape's bored, dull voice.

Rated M for language, and steamy kisses, but no sex. (Sorry all you porn lovers :P hahaha jk…don't sue me)

DISCLAIMER: I am pretty darn sure that I am not J.K. Rowling. And I am pretty sure I do not own Harry Potter. To be honest I don't really own anything. SO DON'T SUE ME! Please!

…also I think it may be important to mention that HERMIONE IS A VAMPIRE! Ok ok don't judge! Don't like, don't read, NO FLAMES!

I ran down the corridor my face flushed and my heart racing from running down to the dungeons for Potions. Potions.

I groaned. This is the first day back, and I'm already late for my first class of the year. And I'm Hermione Granger! I never miss class! And I most certainly am not EVER late.

I approach the door, and slowly open it. I am about 2 minutes late, so hopefully I can sneak in without Snape knowing—

"Miss Granger," Snape droned in his usually bored voice, "First day back and late for your first class? 10 points from Gryffindor," He said without looking up at me. Creepy.

I growled. Well I can't help it! I'm a vampire for Christ sake! Growling at people is like, in our blood. (No pun intended because we actually do have blood in our systems).

Ok, I should explain a little bit. I was turned into a vampire during the summer, by my dad. I actually wanted to be one.

Vampires have super strong strength, can run at amazing speeds, and can still eat regular food even though they have to drink blood. And I can be a vampire/witch! The first actually to be both. There are some wizards/vampires, but I am proud to be the first witch/vampire.

When we drink blood, it was to be from humans, we cannot survive on just animal blood alone. We also do not kill when we drink, we only take a sip, then leave. The people we drink from do not get turned into a vampire. You are only turned into a vampire if you exchange blood, and that was how I was turned.

You have to suffer pains that feel like someone is using the Cruciatus curse for a few minutes, but trust me it can feel like hours.

After you are turned you train with the vampire who turned you (My father). For as long as that new vampire needs, and they teach him or her the ways of being a vampire. After that you pretty much go one with life.

I am a full vampire. A full vampire mean that I have like super strength, and can left hundreds of pounds without breaking a sweat, I have "super spit" which mean I can heal most wounds with my spit (It's pretty awesome) , and I can run up to about a hundred miles an hour. We also have this gas that we can let out that can knock humans out (my dad calls it my bad breath), which is what we use so the person that we drink from doesn't know that we are, and so they aren't traumatized for life. Additionally, we have strong nails that can cut just about anything

More plus sides are that vampires can still be witches or wizards, and they are immune to any of the Unforgivable Curses, and our memory cannot be erased. It's pretty damn awesome. We can be affected by other spells, but because of our speed and strength, some of the spells might not have the same effect as on regular people. But again, knives, guns, drowning, suffocation, starvation, etc. can still affect my people and I.

A bad thing is that I am infertile, so I cannot have any children. That kind of bothered me, but I am kind of okay with it now. I might regret it later, though. Another bad thing is that I am going to have to go out to Hogsmeade and drink from people who are walking by about once a week.

I always hated that part—drinking from innocent people. Although I would kill any Death Eater without a second thought.

Actually, me being a vampire might actually help in the war. But I had to take a seat in Potions class now, so I can't really continue to think about being a member of the Order or killing Death Eaters yet.

Snape's eye's narrowed at my growl, but he dismissed it thank GOD. But honestly, I have this urge to break him, or at least make him look stupid in class.

Even though I may be Hermione Granger, I still have an evil side. Oh and by the way, vampires aren't evil, despite all the myths and rumors. It is just that the war with all the wizards and witches isn't their problem, so they are just butting out The people that areboth wizards and vampires do not fight in the war because they are now loyal to being vampires, although some use wands and magic.

And I don't really blame them. The vampires and vampaneze are in a war within themselves. So to put it simply, the vampires don't kill when they kill, and vampaneze do. And they hate each other and want the other "race" dead.

Anyway back to class, I took a seat in the middle of the room, and as soon as I sat down, Snape got up and mumbled in his usual bored and annoyed voice, "Now that Miss Granger has decided to grace us with her presence, we will start by making a potion of—"

He was interrupted when an extremely stupid Ravenclaw third year said, "Really ? A potion in Potions class?" In a fake, exasperated voice.

I actually laughed. Of course, I was blamed.

"Miss Granger, do you find other children's sarcastic jokes funny?" He said with bored eyes, and an expressionless face.

Before answering I had to decide whether or not to respond sarcastically. But what would possibly make a gloomy, almost middle-aged man angry and pissed off? Happiness.

"Nooo, sir," I said sitting up straight and looking past him, looking serious. But I knew I had a smirk on my face anyway to prove that I sort-of didn't care.

"10 points from Gryffindor," he said simply, but before he could continue with his lesson I cocked my head and said,

"For what, professor?"

"For speaking out of turn," He said simply, but I quickly added,

"But what about that Ravenclaw kid?" I smiled despite myself. Ever since becoming a vampire, I feel myself becoming more…daring.

"Miss Granger, I get to decide who I take points from, and with him only being a third year, I…let it go,"

That was when I broke. I couldn't help it. It was all too much and the tension inside me was suffocating me. I knew this would happen. No one else did though. I was the only on who knew because I wanted to piss Snape off.

I laughed.

I mean I'm talking full-blown belly-laugh of pure surprise and humor that I had to clutch my stomach. It was all just too much. Some people chuckled, but it was nothing compared to me right now. I looked up at some of the other students.

Those who weren't laughing looked stunned that they know-it-all, frizzy haired little girl was gone. Then I looked up at Snape's surprised face, and his scowl, and I laughed even harder as I managed to say, "Stop, STOP! YOU'RE KILLING ME!"

"MISS GRANGER CONTROLL YOURSLEF!" Snape bellowed. Some students twitched and fell back in their chairs in fright, but I just continued to laugh, slapping my desk before saying,

"'Decide who I take points from?' 'Let it go'?" I laughed and I swore I saw a slight blushed from his face, but it disappeared before I could register it in my mind, "You never let things go. But I will give you this. You do decide who you take all of your points from. Gryffindor. Ever single goddamn time! Let me explain."

I coughed and knocked my pencil over onto the floor. There was now dead silence, all eyes on me. They wanted a show? Then I would give them a show.

In my most amazing skill in exaggerating and interpretation, I said in his droning, bored voice, "Miss Graaaaaanger," Some people laughed, Snape was glaring at me, but that didn't scare me in the least. I continued, "10 points from Gryffindooooor,"

Draco Malfoy actually started laughing extremely loudly, but when Snape was about to say something, I told him, "Oh, professor, allow me. Draco Mallfooooy," I said in a bored droning voice and strolled over to him, making sure my robes billowed, "20 points from Gryffindooor," and I waved a hand at him in dismissal.

With that I bowed and people applauded and laughed, especially Malfoy. I thought that was hilarious.

I went back to my seat and I smirked and a stunned Professor Snape.

He growled, "How about a detention with me, Miss Granger from 6 o'clock to 8 o'clock?" And he smirked. People gasped and immediately stopped laughing.

Normally he gave everyone a detention, but never to me. Damn! He was going to ruin my record of no detentions.

His smirk widened when he saw my face loose color, but his face fell when I responded, "Why not?"

He took a deep breath and said, "How about every night with me for the rest of this month and the next?"

I leaned into his bent face and said, "With. Pleasure."

He smirked and leaned in to and said, "Including any holidays, no school days, or weekends?"

My face stayed the same expression—laughter and pure joy and I said, "Whatever it takes to spend more time with you." I laughed harder when he leaned back and I saw the realization in his eyes.

HA! He's screwed now!

And just on time, the bell rang. Normal classes are usually an hour or so, but since it is the beginning of the year, each class was only about 10 minutes for the professors to introduce themselves and give out homework.

I got up and packed up my bags, but Snape's voice said, "Everyone is dismissed expect Miss Granger,"

"Surprise, surprise," I said to myself, but some people actually laughed.

After everyone left, I sat in my seat and looked over at Snape as he looked over at me from his desk.

"Just who do you think you are?" He said softly, which surprised me.

"Besides Hermione Granger, a witch and a vamp…a la oo laa dowe da lalala," Oh shit. I almost said vampire! DAMNIT!

He stood up and walked over to me and sat down in a chair that was in front of me, but he sat in the chair backwards. It was informal that I raised an eyebrow, but ended up just brushing it off.

"Ok, listen. I know something is up. And I know I may not seem trustworthy, but I can keep a secret. I know you are hiding something, and you will tell me because I know that it might help in this war. Well, almost war. You know what I mean. Anyway you will tell me or I might have to…force it out of you in detention tonight. And I may just erase your memory so you won't be able to tell anyone."

He was smirking, because he thought he had me. But his smile fell when I said, "Well can't you just erase my memory of this past conversation now? And I can come to detention tonight, not knowing about all of the torture items you own that you just told me about?"

He took in deep breath and said with an evil smile, "Excellent idea, Miss Granger. Obliviate," He said softly.

I held my face in an expressionless face as he erased my memory. Well, he thought he erased our past conversation.

When he was done he said, "Miss Granger, I am just saying that I need you to bring a quill to your detention tonight. And ink. I will not provide anything except the paper."

"Yes sir," I said and got up and grabbed my bags. Before I left I said, "Professor Snape?"

"Yes?" He said in a bored voice and stood up and turned his back to walk to his desk.

"Don't worry, despite my obvious charm, I can keep a secret, too. And I have decided to tell you mine at detention tonight,"

He stiffed and turned slowly saying, "But I…I erased your memory. How did you know about that conversation we had…Wait I did erase it right?"

I shrugged my shoulders and cocked my head to the side in confusion while saying, "You did. Or didn't you?" With that my eyes widened dramatically as I slowly shut the door.

With that I left a stunned Snape and walked over to my next class, Transfiguration, giggling insanely on the way.

**********I love Snape & I love Crepsley & I love Snape & I love Crepsley**********

Lunch came and went, and some people were shocked that I got a detention, but since Ron and Harry weren't here, only Ginny was my one friend here.

Harry and Ron went to go get the Horrcruxes, and I found them another man who was great at spells and such (like me) so I could finish this year.

I know with me being a …mudblood…I would die, but since most curses don't affect me, I am just walking around like no one in the world can hurt me.

Well, magical-wise anyway. But many of the Death Eaters would use one of the Unforgiveable Curses.

Ron and Harry were reluctant to let me go to Hogwarts by myself, but since Dumbledore was here, they were convinced that I was going to be fine.

We had no afternoon classes, so I spent my time at the library, as usual.

Dinner also came and went, and before I knew it, I was at the door of Professor Snape's office in the Dungeons.

I was surprised that I wasn't spazzing out completely. But I guess because I know he can hurt me (literally and figuratively) I just kind of let that feeling of discomfort pass.

With a wand in hand, I knocked on the door, and I heard a grumble "Enter" from Snape.

I opened the door cautiously, and before I knew it, I heard Snape yell, "Expelliarmus!"

Because of my vampire strength, I held onto the wand easily. His eyes narrowed and he came forward and looked me up and down.

I fought to keep and expressionless face, and luckily, this time anyway, I won.

He took a few steps back before yelling, "Expelliarmus!"

Again I held my wand, even though I could see it shaking, as if it were trying to break free.

He lowered his wand and the spell was lifted.

For the next 5 minutes or so, he hit me with any spells he could think of, and they either didn't work, or didn't affect me like it affected most people.

He walked over to his desk and sat in his chair.

"Sit," He said sternly, and I obeyed.

He looked into my eyes deeply, as if he could see all my secrets.

Then I realized he was trying to read my mind.

Oh, shit. I couldn't think of vampires. Oh, shit. Damnit!

I looked up at his face, and I could see he was troubled. Maybe he couldn't read my mind.

To prove this I chanted in my mind over and over again, I am a vampire. I am a vampire. I am a vampire and I vant to suck your blood.

His eyes widened in shock because he couldn't read my mind and he said, "Who-who are you? Tell me the truth."

I sighed and said, "if I did you would kill me. I mean you would attempt to kill me. That and you will think I am crazy and send me to some mental institute."

"What do you mean 'attempt to kill me'? Do you not think I can?" Of course, always the stubborn and annoying one.

"Magically, you can't. But physically you can. Like you can drown me, although I am stronger so it would be hard, so…I guess you need to be more specific,"

What came next surprised me. He laughed.

Almost like I did during his class today. He laughed while saying, "Before I even ask why I can't kill you by saying the killing curse, why on Earth do you think that you are stringer than I?"

My eyes narrowed and I said, "Fine. I'll prove it. What is the heaviest thing here?"

He got up and walked across the room. He was no longer laughing, but I could still see a faint smile in his eyes.

He pulled a huge enormous chest out from a closet, and I could see he was sweating slightly from the weight.

"If you can pick this up from off the ground, then I promise I will listen to you and no break out laughing at your insanity."

"As you wish," I said simply and walked over to the chest and grabbed the handles.

He started chuckling when I was trying to get a good grip on the chest.

I took a deep breath and looked at the chest. I couldn't lift it at the handles, because it would be at a weird angle. So I tilted the chest to one side, got a hand underneath it, then tilted the chest to the other side, and got a hand underneath it. I looked up at his face.

He looked surprised that I has actually able to lift to off the ground just a fraction.

If he looked surprised now, just wait until I get it up and over my head.

And I did. And his face was priceless.

First his jaw dropped, then he looked over to see that I wasn't using my want because it was on his desk now, then he looked up at my eyes, then he looked like he was going to faint, and then he said softly, "You may put it down,"

I set it down softly, and made my way back to a chair and sat down.

He looked up at me with an expressionless, bored face, but in his eyes I could tell there was something as he said, "Please tell me who you are. If you are worried that I will judge you, I will not,"

I sighed and said, "I will tell you. But I guess the better question would be just what I am,"

He raised his eyebrows and said, "Alright then, what are you?"

I took a deep breath before saying, "My name is Hermione Granger, I am the top witch in my class, and I am the first," I took another deep breath before finishing, "I am the first vampire witch,"

PHEW! I have always wanted to write a cross over *pats self on back* The Cirque du Freak characters will come in eventually, so don't worry!

And I am not sure if I am going to make this a Hermione/Snape or Hermione/Crepsley or Hermione/Darren fic…any ideas? Please share! Don't like then don't review. Constructive criticism is welcome as long as it isn't sarcastic or mean! IM A SOFTY!

R&R! I need at least 5 reviews or 3 really nice ones from DIFFERENT people for me to continue!

Vampiregirl