Preface: Poison

"Feel, pain no more
Emotions never felt before
Where do we go?
She'll never know"

Jacob,
I won't be gone forever. I swear. Maybe a year or two. Ten tops.

Oh, who am I kidding? I can't tell him that. He's already hurt from that stupid bloodsucker; my departure would kill him. Ha, funny Leah. He wouldn't even notice you're gone. He's too wrapped up with his precious leech-to-be. Damnit, my life sucks. I rested my hand on my flat stomach, tapping a beat on the flat surface. In a few months, I'd be huge. Bigger than Mum had been with me. Well, almost maybe? I was a big baby after all, even if I was a month premature because I wanted out. Guess I was born impatient. My pen had paused at it's place before I crossed it out and began again.

Jacob,

I'm so sorry for leaving you. Things have changed, lifestyles have changed. I know it's not your fault for wearing protection but we both thought-

Oh God, am I trying to chase him off? He doesn't need to hear this. Instantly, I scrunched the note up. Who would have thought Leah Freaking-Good-For-Nothing-Margaret Clearwater could get knocked up before she actually stopped phasing. I'd just gotten use to the fact I'd never be a mother - that I'd never be wanted. That one night stand with Jacob had been nothing - I mean, I still loved him like I had a year ago. However, it had been two nights before the fight - the night where Jacob drank his sorrows away and that I joined him. He'd been sobbing that Bella was going to become like them, like his mortal enemy. I think he knew that I loved him; that I loved him much more than I should. I think deep down, he knew. Jacob and I had ended up on the bed, and to be honest, the rest was kinda hazy. I just remember he was telling me how he hated her for being so stubborn, for not realising, for just believing he'd never be good for her. Didn't he realise how my heart was racing inside my chest? Well, the night had ended to quickly if I remember. I woke up with a major headache to an empty bed in which I realised, had been mine. We'd gotten drunk at my house. I didn't actually remember doing anything, so I didn't really think I could be pregnant, let alone need protection. But yeah, then I woke up one day and smelled bacon and... well, you can guess the rest.

Jacob,

This is hard on both of us. Maybe one day we can be together again-

Oh stuff that - we all know he'll never be over Bella. I rake my hair from my face with tense fingers and scrunch the paper into a ball before throwing it at the door. If I hadn't been completely caught up with Sam three years ago, I may have had a chance to you know, see Jacob, but Sam... Sam was the most handsome man I'd ever seen. He had eyes the colour of the darkest of grays, skin the colour of copper and abs... Wow. Those abs. He was absolutely perfect and the only imperfection of him was that he'd never told me anything - me joining to pack had stirred things up a bit, and although the cover story is that it's because I'm a girl and girls don't phase and bla bla bla, it's actually because I tormented Sam. I made him feel what I felt when he went for Emily. I made him hurt and cry and bleed... I made him pay. I really didn't mean to hurt Embry as well, making him suffer to with me constantly bringing up the subject of his father. It was only meant to be to annoy Sam, but it turns out there's more than one possible father. There's three. Although Embry's handsome and all, I imagine he's Quil's half brother; they have the same kind of nose position and the same cheeky smile, although most the time Embry hides his. Then again, there's always Jacob... If they had the balls to ask their Dad's, this would be pretty simple. Hell, I'd do it if they asked me to. But not now, when I had this baby in my belly. Couldn't risk losing my temper... I also couldn't go to a normal doctor unless I stopped phasing, which I couldn't anyway. Gah, this sucks. I began writing again.

Jacob,

Get better. I'll miss you.

Leah.

Shit, I actually wrote it. It gave away everything, yet nothing at all. I slipped the letter into an envelope with the word 'Jacob' written in a curly font before walking across the street to Jacob's home. Billy smiled at me as I entered and I gave a half hearted smile back as I mouthed the words, 'going to see Jacob'. He nodded before facing the television show that was no doubt playing an old rerun of a soap opera.

"I'll look after that baby, Jenny, I promise I will..." The words stabbed me in the back and I froze for half a second before scurrying towards Jacob's door. As I imagined, Jacob's room was just as I remembered it. He was sleeping, sweating and broken. Immediately, I reached for his large hand and played with his fingers. They entwined with mine and squeezed, recognising my hand pattern.

"Leah," the voice croaked, and the hand pulled me closer, to his broken side.

"Careful," I whispered, stroking his palm with my thumb, "you've gotta be sore." I pulled away from him unwillingly and reached for one of the many towels laying on the chair beside Jacob. I dabbed at his forehead as I spoke, hesitant. "Jake, you should, um, go to sleep. You need rest," I whispered, hoping my lie would work. I was being so cowardly; I just didn't want to show him the letter in person. I wanted him to find it and cry by himself, if he cried at all. "By the way, you're still an idiot."

"And you're still a bitch," Jacob smiled a small smile that reached his closed eyes. "I'm fine - really. Doctor Dracula gave me enough morphine to give to an army," Jacob moved a little, attempting to move, but I held him down.

"Stay," I growled, reminding me a little that this was possibly the last time I'd see him before I had the little baby within me right now. "Jake?" Jacob was silent for a moment, before he mumbled a tired word.

"Yeah?" he yawned, leaning against my hand that rested against his check.

"I'm glad you helped me... I hope you find happiness someday," I choked on the next words, "whether it's with Bit-Bella or, or anybody else you find Jacob." Jacob mumbled a tired response and squeezed my fingers as he fell asleep. The tears came all too quickly; that had been unintentional; I hadn't meant to cry or even speak. That got a load off my chest, however a new load on my shoulders. He'd find somebody else, and I'd have his baby which I'd have to make up lie after lie about. I stroked Jacob's cheek before kissing it and leaving the letter on the chair. I left the room, only to be joined by Belwitch. Immediately, I growled a threatening warning. Better now then ever.

"Listen you, and listen good," I spoke, Bella paling to the vampire colour, "you touch my brother? You die. You touch Jacob? You really, really don't want to go there. I'll find some other dog for you to break their heart or make our with or have sex with, but touch Jacob, Isabella? You. Will. Regret. It. Got it?" Bella had goosebumps on her arms and nodded quickly, stepping out of my way as I stormed through. I collided shoulders with her, no doubt giving her a bruise. Good. I hope it dislocated. I hope I gave Bella enough of a warning that she wouldn't break his heart; he was broken enough already.

I left the home to pack my things, already having told Seth and Mum about my departure. My plane to Australia left at four in the morning, so I climbed into my bed for the last time, touching my stomach with a comforting hand.

"We'll make it without him...We have to."

"Holding on to you…
…to keep from falling
Your eyes are closing now
Another chapter's ending."

A/N: So, you see, I was extremely bored and was sick of seeing all these silly Edward/Leah and Bella/Jacob stories that I went for a good old fashioned Jacob/Leah. I'd seen many people make her pregnant and thought, what the hell? So, vuola!

This is one of those things I try too hard on and don't get reviewed. It really hurts. Should I continue? I'm telling you now, I'd really like to. (o Let me know through a review!

Side note: This isn't a song fic, I just think lyrics make it easier to pick up on the mood as I'm not too good at that.

REVIEW.