FREEFALLING

You're standing at the outskirts of a huge industrial area of a big city. The air's cold and wet.

It's a rough September evening and the sun's already setting. You're waiting for someone. Some one who wants to meet you. Someone of your kind.

"I've been living in the suburbs of the city all my live. All I know is concrete and multistory buildings. All I've ever seen from the world is greed and violence. I never used to be able to think there's love in this world..."

You wince and turn around. You haven't heard her approach. The woman with her eyes closed stood right in front of you now. She is attired in a black, heavy leather jacket and black jeans.

"Clover's been the one who thought I was worth it all the time. I always doubted myself. -She never did. Never doubted me not a single time."

"My name's Clover. And this..." She points at a large multistory building behind her and sighs. "...is where I live. Not the brightest prospects, huh?" The woman walks towards you and takes your hand. "Let me walk you around for a bit, shall we?" She smiles and lowers her voice to a bright and happy whisper. "I want to show you my friend." Smiling wider, eyes getting sly she adds, "Actually my girlfriend."

Clover walks you through the gray city. The sky's covered by dark clouds and the air is cool. It's a rough September evening in the city and you're cold even though you're wearing your long warm jacket. You look around. You and her are passing a silent playground. No kids are playing there. Probably they're all home because it's already getting dark outside and none of the parents here would be so careless to let their children be out at this time. Cause when it gets dark here the city becomes a place of violence, a place of backstabbing drug dealers and drunks. A town of Harley bikers and rockers; of band members and thieves. The night was the time Clover enjoyed being out the most. She was one of the ones who never sleep. Those people are called 'Shadows' here.

"What do you do when it gets dark out? You don't seem to be a person of the night." Clover's eyes are glued to your face. She's been watching you all the time while she walked you through the city. Her eyes begin to glow. Her voice is but a whisper. "Are you afraid of me?" she asks. "You stepped back when I looked at you." She turns her eyes away and stares into the distance at an abandoned power plant near the playground. "I'm used to it. Everyone's afraid of me..." She takes a deep breath, and looks at you again. Here eyes are boring into yours. She reaches out for you. "I'm sorry I scare you." The smile that had grown on her face becomes insane, like the one of a psychopath. "But I can't help it. It's so much fun." Clover suddenly lunches at you. The headlights of a passing car hit her and her eyes widen with desire and obsession. She speaks in a rush, "You're a threat, you're a liar and a thief!" Then she purrs, "But just to me. In fact..." She pulls out a switchblade. "You're innocent." You see her face distort in insanity. "Or let's say you were!"

"Clover." A quiet voice whispers from behind.

Clover spins her head around and smiles, carefully hiding the switchblade behind her back. "Holly." She gently steps forward and touches the light blonde woman's shoulder. She is wearing a gray, expensive looking jacket. "You're here."

"Of course I'm here. I told you I'd come." Holly smiles back at Clover and steps forward as well, embracing her.

She chuckles, wrapping her arms around Holly and reaches up to kiss her. "And here you are."

Glancing at you Holly asks, "Who's that?"

Clover's eyes are wide and warning as she glares at you. "It doesn't matter. It's just someone… unimportant." She waves the switchblade at you. And starts kissing Holly deeply, pushing her into your direction. She smiles at Holly brightly and her eyes begin to fill with craving. "Close your eyes my love." she breaths into her mouth. She smiles wider. "And just ignore the person standing there. He won't be able to say another word in a minute anyway." She raises the blade behind Holly's back, intensifying the kiss and pushing her further towards you. "He won't bother us again sweetie. I promise." Clover glares at you her hand moving forward in one flowing incredibly fast movement.

You can feel the skin at your throat ripping. The cold blade cutting through it like it was the easiest thing in the world. Blood starts running down your neck.

Grabbing onto Clover Holly feels her pushing her tongue deep down her throat, leaning in closer into her kiss.

Holly grabs onto Clover, feeling her pushing her tongue deep down her throat as she breaths, "He won't bother us again…"

The thud on the ground makes Holly eyes snap open. She stares right into Clovers.

"I'd do anything for you," Clover says. "Anything for you."

"You'll do…" she starts.

"Anything for you." Clover continues, slowly lowering her gaze to the body lying next to her and then back to Holly's startled face. She drops the blood splattered blade she was holding and puts her hand on Holly's cheek "I… I-," She closes her eyes and breaths in. She doesn't go on speaking.

Holly's eyes fill with tears and she chokes as she pulls Clover closer to her by the cuff of her neck. Her voice is soaked as she almost begs, "Say it!"

Clover doesn't reply. She looks away.

"Say it!" She takes Clover's chin in her free hand and cries once more, "Say it!" Clover meets her eyes and her voice turns into a silent whisper, "Please, Clover. I know you do. I… just want to hear it out of your mouth." She gently touches Clovers lips with hers. She breaths lovingly, "Say that you love me." Smiling she adds, "Or at least say that you love me too."

Clovers eyes are on hers as their lips touch again. "I love you." Her hands reach for Holly's face, her voice becomes serious. "And that's why I kill," she examines the corpse to her feet and she smirks. "I need you all for myself to be with."

Taking in the bloodied knife and corpse Holly's eyes widen. She pulls Clover away from the body and speaks breathless, "We should run."

Clover lowers her voice to an insinuating growl and asks, looking straight into Holly's frozen blue eyes, "From who?" She grabs Holly tighter. "There's no one here who could've seen this. We're all alone. We…" her hand moves along Holly's side, pulling her back to her. "can do whatever we want."

Holly's voice is filled with fear as she exclaims, "Please, let's get away form here!"

"We don't need to." Clover's breaths, then speaks in a rush, "We can stay. Forever!"

Sirens are growing louder in the distance and Holly desperately pulls Clover away from the body and the empty playground. "Run with me, if you wanna, but please don't stay here! Stay with me!"

"I will stay with you," Clover says silently. She looks around. "I'll bring you somewhere safe." She starts running towards a subway station, dragging Holly by her arm. "We'll stay together! We'll stay safe!"

Holly is running by Clover's side now, asking her under her breath, "Where are we going?"

"We're taking the subway!" Clover is already heading downstairs. Lights of display windows passing her and Holly.

They both abruptly stop.

A metro is pulling into the station, the doors open to let passengers out and in. The green tiling on the ceiling, walls and floor is reflecting the fluorescent light in an intimidating way. The station looks like an imminence about to erupt.

Holly squishes Clover's hand tightly. She whispers, "Please tell me we won't lose each other in the crowd."

Clover's face hardened at the sight of countless people getting on and off the metro, all going to work or somewhere else. "I promise you we'll be fine," she says and smiles. "I won't lose you." She grips Holly's hand tighter and pulls her closer to her. "I promise you I won't."

"Clover, please… why..?" Holly began.

"Not here," Clover says tentatively putting a hand onto Holly's shoulder. "I'll tell you everything…" She looks around thronged. "But somewhere where it's less crowded." She sighs, gently guiding her towards the metro. "For now just let's get on the metro."

The two of them are walking along the station getting on and sitting down on two seats by the window and aisle.

Clover always wants to sit by the window. She loves to look outside the whole ride, even though she won't see much of anything in the subway tunnel. Holly on the other hand, always takes an aisle seat to keep an eye on the people on the train, bus or whatever they travelled with.

Holly puts her feet to the seat and wraps her arms around her legs, glancing at Clover who's leaning against the window from time to time. She thinks, She's pretty with her black jacket open like that. She smiles. I wonder if she's thinking of me too right now…

Clover catches Holly's eyes with her gaze. She smiles and leans forward. "You know… I was thinking of you just now… of…" She blushes slightly. "…how I'd love to…" Taking Holly's hand in hers once more, she sighs and looks out of the window, watching lights race past the metro. Her voice is almost inaudible as she continues to speak, "…kiss you again… and just…" She blushes even more, faces Holly's reflection in the window pane. "…hold you close to me…" She lowers her gaze to her into a fist clenched hand.

Holly's eyes widen with gratefulness. She stutters, "I, I-," she leans in, reaching for Clover's cheek. She whispers, "Thank you. Thank you so much. For…" She leans closer and opens her lips, breathing, "…being with me all the time and never doubting me." Her eyes gaze into Clover's emerald ones and she kisses her deeply, sitting on her lap, wrapping her arms around her. "I love you Clover." Drowning in her eyes she melts in her kiss. "I love you so much. I really do."

Clover pulls Holly closer on her lap and kisses her even deeper, and intense heat burning in the depths of her eyes. "I love you too, Holly." She gently touches her cheek with one hand. "I love you endlessly."

"I love you endlessly too." Holly pushes her tongue down Clover's throat, running her hands along her back. She opens her eyes and slowly leans back, taking Clover's hand in hers. "Clover?" she asks warmly.

She smiles and blushes. "Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're here," Holly sighs.

Clover softly tips the tip of Holly's nose with her finger. "I know," she says. "And I'm glad you're here too."

Holly gazes into Clover's eyes for another second before she looks out of the window. "Where are we getting off," she wants to know.

Her hand is being squished and Clover answers, "Wherever we want to."

Holly rests her head against Clover's chest smiling and whispers, "Then I don't want to get off ever again."

Clover gently strokes Holly's hair and leans down to her ear, purring lovingly, "Then we won't get off ever again." She hugs her close to her. "You can sleep in my arms if it's getting late my love. Rest a bit before tomorrow. You'll need it." She kisses Holly's cheek. "I'll take you to a place you might remember from your dreams."

Holly smiles. "I'm looking forward to it." Her voice is light and drowsy as she speaks, "I'm happy you're keeping me save while I sleep, you know that, right?"

Clover breaths in and out evenly, feeling Holly's body leaning against hers. "Yes," she says softly. "I know that."

The metro rattled on out of the city and towards the monotonous countryside when it got dark out. Trees and extending meadows are glowing in the moonlight. The bulbs in the train are not bright enough to lighten it up. Instead they are barely spending enough light that Clover can see her face, dimly reflected in the window pane as she watches the landscape the rail tracks that are leading the metro through becomes foggy; once in a while they are passing trees and small rivers and lakes. The width of the plain meadows was gone. It would take two hours until they'd be in the next town. Clover rests her head against the window pane and looks down at Holly, who is looking out of the window on the opposite side of the train, smiling.

Clover rests her head against the window pane and watches Holly who is lost in thought.

Flashback:

I knew she had to leave for a while and I also knew that she hated to have to leave. But we wouldn't be apart for forever. We'd be back again in a while, we knew that as well. And still standing here at the train station both hurt us like nothing else could.

I embraced Clover tightly and said, suppressing the sadness in my voice, because I didn't want her to cry because she had to leave.

"You'll be back with me soon, always remember that, all right?"

Clover sobbed, "I know. But I wish I could stay." She leaned back slightly to look me in the eyes and went on, "You know I don't want to go, right?"

"Oh Clover, of course I know that you don't want to leave." I smiled faintly. "But I know that you have to."

People around us were hurrying to get to the train that was about to leave in a minute.

"You should go, you can't miss your train," I said squishing her tight to me one last time.

Clovers eyes were filled with tears. "I wish you could come with me." Her hand touched my cheek.

"Clover," I didn't know what else to say. She was as sad as I that she had to leave, but we both knew there was no other way. "I love you." My voice was soft and soothing. I knew she was afraid of losing me, just as much as I was afraid of losing her. I knew what she'd do for me. I always knew. Knew that I'd do the same.

I smiled at her. Smiled and knew she'd instinctively reach up to kiss me. - And she did.

"I love you too." Her voice was but a muffled whisper in my mouth as her lips gently pressed on mine. For no more but a few seconds I forget that she had to leave. Forget that we wouldn't see each other for a while that was going to seem like ages. But as I felt her wet tears running down her face and soaking my white shirt I knew: She was crying.

Something leathery touched my wrist as I moved my hands to wrap them around her waist. I didn't want her to cry.

"Shh, it's ok. I'll be back with you in no time, I promise," I calmed her. My warm breath brushed over her face and I held her tight. For a moment, her tears dried. "We'll be fine, you'll see."

The horn of the train reminded us that it was about to pull out.

"You really should hurry now, you're gonna miss your train," I said.

Clover stepped back with sad emerald eyes. "We'll be back again soon. I'll write you a lot of letters." At least she smiled.

I smiled back at her. "And so will I. You know I'm always there for you when you need me."

"I know. And so am I."

Clovers hand slipped out of mine as she reached for her travel bag and turned around to head to the train. She kept looking back at me. I waved her until she was in the train, sitting at the window side waving as the train slowly pulled out and picked up speed.

"Goodbye for now," I whispered quietly, a sad and at the same time grateful smile on my face. Grateful, not for her leaving, but for knowing to have someone so beautiful in my life and to know that we'd be together again soon. I held back my tears. The train was almost around the corner.

"I love you," I whispered once again. Saw Clover's lips forming the words to my voice in unison, knew she had spoken them as well. Saw the tears in her eyes and the smile on her face that she was smiling just for me, so I wouldn't cry. Felt my lips returning it, as the veil of tears grew thicker. The first silver drop shattered to the ground.

The train was around the corner. I knew she hadn't seen it.

I stood there and felt my heart empty.

Within eight hours she would be over 10 000 miles apart from me again, far across the ocean, across the border, in a world that was so different from mine.

Slowly I turned away from the station, tears welling up in my eyes once more and I began to cry as I set one foot before the other, watching the shoelaces of my crème colored sneakers dangling from side to side as I made my way to the exit, feeling more and more like I was going to be eaten up by hopelessness and a slight sense of panic. Panic of not exactly knowing when I'd see her again.

I didn't look at anyone as I headed to the exit.

I just kept walking until I stood outside, until I felt the wet cold autumn air in my face and shivered.

My fingertips got cold instantly because I was once again wearing my fingertipless black gloves. I tucked my hands in my pockets and walked home silently, lost in thought.

Back in the present:

Clover strokes Holly's hair and asks her, "What are you thinking of?"

Holly moves the leather bracelet around her wrist and whispers over the rattling of the train wheels on the rails, "Of the day you had to leave…"

Clover pulls Holly closer into her arms and she buries her face in her black jacket.

Worn out, Holly fell asleep at once.