The Trouble With Leather Pants
Rated T for sexual references
Disclaimer: I do not own anything involving the characters of Phineas and Ferb. Anyway, on with the story.
The place: Abersnobbie and Lynch.
The time: 4:10 p.m.
Such the description in an afternoon like this. The place was infested with the stylish clothes and the priceless jewelry that all of the kids were flashing. The sound of 90's R&B music were blasting all through the four corners of the store.
Vanessa Doofenshmirtz had much on her plate to be exact. Nothing but a stack of jeans that she wanted to try out on an occasion like this. The reason she went clothes shopping with her secret boyfriend Monty Monogram was that the rest of the jeans she had were destroyed by her father of an evil genius. Well, it was pretty more than an accident. Dr. Doofenshmirtz invented this so-called "Pants-inator" in which everyone's pants would be sucked out of their body and end up stuffed inside a keg. That way, everyone in this city would end up walking or seen without pants.
Unfortunately, the vacuum sucked up the rest of Vanessa's leather pants, which forced the machine to malfunction, destroying every ounce of skin-tight denim and leather. Vanessa blamed this on her father, to the result that she decided to leave for the time being. What a nut her father is.
In the process, she decided to go to the local Danville mall where her boyfriend Monty met up with her. So far, it's been seven months since they seen each other and they were going strong.
The first place they decided to go was the stylish Abersnobbie and Lynch.
Vanessa was not in a hurry to choose what she wanted. All she wanted was new leather pants. After all, black was especially her color. She would just go random and get different kinds of jeans. Monty never knew she was frantic when it came to shopping with a loved one.
Vanessa approached one of the dressing rooms. But before she could go inside one, she looked back to her boyfriend.
"C'Mon, Monty... what's taking you?" Vanessa whined a bit.
Monty followed through, only to carry 12 pairs of pants. He kept on stumbling over the guests and tripping through the floor a bit. But luckily, he managed to keep his footing intact.
"Vanessa... I don't see why you would buy these many pairs of pants. It's crazy!" Monty said, struggling to keep his balance.
"Look, I'm sorry if I'm making you do something like this, but there's no way I'm wearing something ugly and unattractive such as Hello Kitty pajama bottoms." Vanessa frantically replied. "I'm 17 years old. I should be wearing cool, leather clothing."
Luckily, there was a counter where Monty could put the rest of their pants. Using all of his strength, the youngster put the heavy stack of pants over the counter and sighed, "Well, I can't blame you for that. Did your father really need that much pants?"
"I wouldn't know, Monty. I didn't take part in his stupid fiasco." Vanessa nodded off. "Anyway, could you hand me the pair of pants on the top?"
"Sure." Monty nodded.
The top of the pants pile happened to be 100% leather. Made from Levi's to be honest. Seeing the label, Monty handed her the accessory.
"Thanks." she said.
With her pants in hand, she got inside the dressing room.
What must Monty be thinking right now? Imagining Vanessa with nothing but her panties on?
Basically, that would be the only thing infesting Monty's image right now. With a blush and a chuckle, Monty could imagine getting a good look at Vanessa's tight panties. There would be no stretch marks and no fat infesting the swimsuit area. It was smooth, soft, and quite juicy where Monty would have imagined.
"Hehehe... panties..." Monty chuckled to himself.
But while he was having his little moment to himself, Vanessa's voice rang out by surprise.
"MONTY!" She shouted.
Hearing her voice, Monty came up to the dressing room.
"Vanessa? What's going on?" Monty said, concerned for his girl.
"It's my pants!" She exclaimed. "For some other reason, they don't seem to fit me well! I'm stuck here!"
"Let me in. I'm certain that there's nothing wrong with your pants whatsoever." Monty replied in safety.
Despite not giving him an answer, Vanessa let Monty in the dressing room...
...only to have him see Vanessa's entire stomach turning red because of the pressure of the jeans surrounding her entire waist.
'Yikes..." Monty muttered in disbelief, "No offense Vanessa, but you look a bit bloated. It's like you're growing the world's largest tomato in your stomach or something."
"Oh, ha ha, Monty!" Vanessa sarcastically laughed, "Will you please help me get these pants off and get me a new pair?"
"Sure." Monty nodded. "Now hang on tight to the bench, I'm gonna pry them loose."
With his words clear, Vanessa managed to dive down on all fours. Wow, that was a sight Monty never expected to see out of her. The way her curvaceous ass was bending over in front of him. The way his hands wanted to sneak in a grab...
...but Monty smacked all of the dirty thoughts inside his mind and focused on getting Vanessa's pants off.
His hands grabbed on to the elastic and squeezed, but it only made Vanessa's rump run straight into his groin.
"Oof!" Monty yelped. "Whoa, this is tight!"
"You see? You shouldn't force me to push into you!" Vanessa complained.
"I'm sorry. Just take a deep breath and calm down. I'll try to be gentle." Monty said, calming her down.
"Be careful." Vanessa whispered, referring to the elastic that was molding her waist tightly.
Somehow, their conversation of help started to take an interesting turn. Somehow, Vanessa's grunts almost started to sound a bit sensual. Monty's grunts however, sounded a bit vicious, as if they were having rough sex (they weren't of course).
But to the customers outside of the store and dressing rooms, they were perhaps a little creeped out by their entire conversation. Some of the mothers managed to shield their little daughters eyes, while the fathers wanted a closer look at the interesting sound surrounding their ears.
"You see? You're moving around!"
"If you just stay still and concentrate, I can pull it out without having to pull in!"
"This is useless. Why, oh why did it have to be this tight!?"
"It's not my fault, Vanessa. You wanted to choose tight and look where it got you."
"I swear it hurts!"
The customers didn't know if Monty and Vanessa were getting it on or perhaps Vanessa was getting raped, but it was enough reason for the customers and kids to leave the store. And yet, it was enough reason for the owner of the place to call security mall.
"Officers, we seem to have inappropriate conduct inside one of the Abersnobbie and Lynch dressing rooms." The owner spoke out through a walkie-talkie. "Please come immediately."
Meanwhile, the pants struggle between Monty and Vanessa was getting so rough that Vanessa hung on to the walls. Monty was still trying desperately, but it was still no use.
"Damn it, why won't it come off, Monty?" Vanessa once again complained.
"I'm not sure, but I think it's trapped in something." Monty muttered out. "Here, let me find where it is..."
The second-generation Monogram began to search around every kind of elastic through Vanessa's tight jeans.
But before he could go around and search what was causing Vanessa's pants not to be taken off...
...the door busted in on them!
"A-HA!" The mall cop shouted, seeing Monty and Vanessa in a unconfortable position.
From the cop's angle, Monty had Vanessa in a doggie-style position. It was almost like Monty was dry-humping her from the cop's point of view. The couple looked at the cop and looked red-faced, embarrassed as they were.
But as much as the cop wanted to bust them...
...
...
...
...
...he didn't.
He looked a bit confused, especially when he heard the owner behind him.
"You see, I told you they were having sex and nothing else!" The owner said in a stern voice. "They were bothering my customers with all their baby-making jive!"
The cop then shot a glare at the owner, and then stepped aside, only to have the owner see Monty and Vanessa with their clothes still on.
"Oh, um..." The owner spoke in embarrassment. "Sorry about that awkward little moment. You see, I thought you were getting down and all..."
"It's all just a misunderstanding, men. My girlfriend was just having trouble getting her pants off." Monty said, telling the truth facedown. "You see, I was trying to help her take it off. It wasn't about having sex or nothing like that, even though you thought it sounded like that."
"I know, my apologies." The owner apologized to the couple deeply. "Carry on already."
The cop and owner of A&L finally managed to leave Monty and Vanessa alone, but not without shooting a glare at each other.
"This sucks. That's like the first couple not to have sex in the dressing rooms!" The owner said to the cop.
"This so wasn't worth my day!" The cop said to the owner.
After their departure, Monty and Vanessa shared an uncomfortable moment together. They couldn't believe the people inside the store actually thought they were doing it!
"Well, that was awkward." Monty blushed in shame.
"I guess we really creeped them out with our little 'session'." Vanessa blushed in shame as well. "Remind me to go to Old Navy next time..."
"Damn right..." He muttered.
Sorry if it lacked hilarity, but nevertheless, those sexual references in the dressing rooms oughta make up for the lackness.
Anyway, this had such a romantic-comedy feeling to it, so give me your take! You know what to do! (;D)