A/N: my first songfic so I hope I did alright. Basically its written to the lyrics from Black Horse and the Cherry Tree by KT Tunstall. If you read the lyrics first, then the following part is sorta along those lines. And it shouldn't be hard to guess who the black horse is and who the cherry tree is...haha.
Disclaimer: don't own Naruto or the song "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree"
Black Horse and the Cherry Tree
Two, three, four
(woo-hoo, woo-hoo)
(woo-hoo, woo-hoo)
It's been 4 years since he came back to us.
Sasuke, the boy I had loved with all of my heart. The boy I'd give up everything for.
Well my heart knows me better than I know myself
So I'm gonna let it do all the talking.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
When he left, my world, my heart, shattered to pieces leaving me empty. It's hard to describe how much pain I was in all because of his betrayal. The pain only intensified when I learned how he had almost succeeded in killing Naruto.
Naruto had promised to bring him back to me. And I believed he could do it with all of my heart. I knew that he was the only one who could, because I had already failed.
But even Naruto came back, feeling just as empty and broken as myself, and my heart disintegrated. What had been left after the initial shock of Sasuke's leaving could not withstand the pain of seeing first hand what he had done to Naruto.
Seeing Naruto hurt so badly was both a death stroke and a blessing. I could feel my life shifting from that moment as the girl I had been was left painfully broken and replaced by one with a new resolve.
I was both destroyed and made new, and I made my own promise to Naruto. One that my heart would keep: I would get stronger, and together we would bring our teammate back.
I came across a place in the middle of nowhere
With a big black horse and a cherry tree.
(woo-hoo, woo-hoo)
After years of intense training, myself under the Hokage, Naruto under Jiraiya's care, he returned to me and Konoha, and we began to hope. The two of us were now stronger than we could ever have hoped for ourselves.
What was once broken was now a powerful weapon, and we knew that together we could save him.
And after many struggles we once again found him, and together we were able to salvage the Sasuke that was our friend and teammate. Naruto and I were able to bring him back.
Back to Konoha, back to us.
Finally, Naruto's promise to me was fulfilled, as well as my own to him. I thought, finally, we could be whole again.
And now in the present, when Sasuke asked me to meet him, under that giant cherry tree, my feelings were not where I thought they should be.
I fell in fear, upon my back
I said don't look back, just keep on walking.
(woo-hoo, woo-hoo)
As I walked to that cherry tree I kept thinking back to how I had felt when he left, and how it had hurt.
To how Naruto had promised to bring him back.
How he was willing to die for that promise.
How I had missed Naruto when he had left me.
How I had felt upon his return from training.
What was wrong with me? How could I just now have second thoughts?
There was Sasuke, dark and brooding, but still so handsome, standing under that cherry tree.
It was strange, as I got closer, that I couldn't help but notice how he didn't seem to fit there. He stuck out like a sore thumb among all the beautiful cherry blossoms. He himself was so dark, and the blossoms were so bright.
Was it possible that they seemed to dim somewhat, fluttering around him?
Without understanding why, I was strangely both frightened and anxious of what this man wanted from me.
When the big black horse that looked this way,
Said hey lady, will you marry me?
(woo-hoo, woo-hoo)
He looked my way and briefly nodded his head in acknowledgement.
His eyes were so different than Naruto's.
Naruto's eyes were bright and honest, while Sasuke's were as vague as smoke. Unreadable pools of onyx that held a deadly power. His hands were stuffed in his pockets nonchalantly, and his stance was bored. I found I couldn't even look at him as I came to a rest before him.
"Hello Sasuke…kun."
"Sakura"
The sound of my name on his lips made me shiver in spite of myself, and my heart felt abnormally empty. There was once a time when his voice alone brought a cascading wave of emotions humming throughout my being, but now I just felt strangely hollow.
"You wanted to talk to me about something?"
He was looking at me now, expectantly, wanting me to look up at him and I knew I could no longer focus my attention on the ground.
"Yes, I did. You know my life was solely to be an avenger, and I have succeeded in this."
I nodded numbly at his statement. It was true he had finally killed Itachi, his whole life's purpose seemingly met.
But I knew there was more than just that.
"Well, there is more that I need to do. Do you know what I'm talking about?"
"You want to restore your clan."
The words were out of my mouth before I could even think about his question. It was what I had expected. Even though I had had the suspicion of his intent, I still felt as if steel bars were forming a cage around me.
What if I couldn't escape?
My heart-rate quickened at the thought and I looked up at the cherry blossoms and was calmed slightly by them. Time stalled as I waited for him to speak.
"I must restore my clan. This is my new purpose in life. Sakura, I want you to help me with this. I want you to become my wife."
But I said no, no, no,no-no-no
I said no, no, you're not the one for me
No, no, no,no-no-no
I said no, no, you're not the one for me
(ooooo, woo-hoo)
And there it was, echoing within my mind as I felt a cold chill run down my back. The cage closed around me and I immediately felt suffocated.
Looking at his eyes, I found them as blank as ever. There was no emotion behind his proposition and I should have known there never would be. Sasuke lived for revenge, and then he lived to revive his clan. He did not live for love, and he never would.
But I still felt that age old dedication to him pull my heart one way. This part looked strangely like my 12 year old self, while at the same time the present me pulled my heart the other way.
The present me was trying to tell me something of sunshine and bright blue, but I couldn't quite decipher what that meant.
My 12 year old self told me that I would be taken care of and well respected being with him, and I knew this was true. He would take care of me. I wouldn't need to do anything but mind the house and children because that was the kind of wife he wanted.
The cage walls began shrinking and my space grew even smaller.
The present me was defiant and reminded me of my new dreams and goals. To become a great shinobi like Tsundae-sama herself, to protect those I cared about, to be a good asset to my village, to stay strong and never fall behind like I did when I was younger.
How could I give up being a shinobi? How could he demand such a thing of me?
A fist struck out at the thick bars of my cage and they began to falter.
I didn't want everything I had accomplished to mean nothing.
Another strike.
The bars began to crack and buckle.
I looked up into his handsome face. He was so dark and brooding and beautiful, my younger self reminded me. Surely I would be happy with this man.
My present self had now had enough and began arguing fiercely.
He is too dark, she said. He will make me dim and I should be bright.
His eyes are dangerous. They are too black, or too red. They are not blue.
His hair is too dark. It is not blonde.
He smirks, he does not smile.
He is too pale, his skin is not tanned.
He is cold and will surely freeze you. You need warmth to thrive.
He is the night, and this flower cannot bloom at night. Sunlight is what you need to bloom.
The door to my cage was flung open by someone, bright and warm, but I couldn't see who.
My younger self was completely gone now, and my mind and heart were finally in sync with one another and I knew what I had to do.
Shoulders squared and chin held high I faced him.
"I'm sorry Sasuke, but I cannot marry you. You aren't the one I want."
And my heart had a problem, in the early hours,
So I stopped it dead for a beat or two.
(woo-hoo, woo-hoo)
I walked away without really knowing where I was going, and left Sasuke there to reach his own understanding.
I began to worry if things would ever be the same between us after this, but I reasoned our friendship was a strong one and would last. He probably thought we'd kill two birds with one stone by his proposal; He'd revive his clan, and I'd get the boy I had always wanted. The only problem was that I didn't want him anymore, which how could he have known when I didn't realize it myself.
Therefore, I deduced things would be alright between us. It still hurt though, the thought of letting him down.
My heart was both weeping and laughing and the blend of emotions felt so bizarre I decided to stop feeling at all and let myself have a break. Perhaps I was still in shock with the whole situation. Or mainly the fact I had turned down Sasuke.
How could I have ever done such a thing?
But I cut some cord, and I shouldn't have done that,
And it won't forgive me after all these years
(woo-hoo, woo-hoo)
I really had changed from my 12 year old self, and this thought made me feel slightly proud of myself.
When Sasuke left, I had felt some kind of sever within my heart. I had always thought it would heal once he came back, and then everything would go back to how it was. But the tear had not fixed itself, and instead grew over the years into a gaping hole.
I felt it, and thought, once he comes back the hole will be filled and things will go back to normal.
Things did not fill in with his return.
But maybe, he was not what could fix me after all. It was not Sasuke who always tried to make things right. No, he lived for his own purpose. All my hope now lay with another.
The one who might be able to fix me…was…
So I sent her to a place in the middle of nowhere (woo-hoo, woo-hoo)
With a big black horse and a cherry tree.
"Hey Sakura-chan!"
And he was right there in front of me, as if he knew exactly where he was needed at that moment and appeared. For someone who seemed dense about many things, he sure had a knack for being there when he was needed the most.
"Hi Naruto."
Seeing him, I was able to allow a genuine smile to come through. It felt as if I hadn't really smiled for so long, but something about his grinning face didn't allow me to hold anything back.
"What're you up to Sakura-chan?"
His bright blue eyes were questioning, and I found I had no problem looking into them, unlike my discomfort with Sasuke.
But then, with one innocent question, everything came back tumbling upon me and my heart remembered what had happened.
Seeing my face fall, Naruto's curious eyes darkened with worry and he stepped closer to me as if his closeness would lend me some of his lightheartedness.
Now it won't come back, cause it's oh so happy
And now I've got a hole for the world to see
(woo-hoo, woo-hoo)
His warm hands rested against my shoulders as he seemingly tried to hold me together. At that moment I realized I had two choices I could make.
One, I could hide away like I would normally, and make up some excuse for being out without ever letting him know the real reason. And this way I could shield myself away and never open myself to anyone ever again. I would never be whole again, but I wouldn't be in danger of being hurt. Being broken was the price I would have to pay.
But, how much could I really hide away from him?
Perhaps I really couldn't hide my pain from anyone, I just thought I did. But the other choice required a lot of strength from my part. I could open myself to Naruto, my teammate and friend, someone who I loved dearly, and let him repair me. To do that, however, would require I look weak in front of him; something that I was afraid to do.
To bare myself to him was something I was not sure I could do. What if he hated what he saw and turned away?
No.
This was not Sasuke who hated weakness. This was Naruto, the one who understood and never turned away from someone in need. Because Naruto was Naruto, it would hurt him more to lie to him than to lean on him.
"I met Sasuke."
I was surprised by how calm my voice was, and yet it held a certain sadness to it as well. This didn't go unheard by Naruto and his worried look changed to that of anger, the corners of his mouth pulling down in a frown.
"Sasuke-teme didn't hurt you did he? If he did I'll kick his a—"
"No, he didn't hurt me. He…he asked me to marry him."
I said no, no, you're not the one for me (ooooo, woo-hoo)
No, no, no,no-no-no
Said no, no, you're not the one for me
Though it hurt for me to say it, to tell him, I felt something release from within me. My eyes never left his, because I would never again be afraid to be open with Naruto. He was my pillar of strength and I needed him so badly. But now he looked hurt, and I watched in horror as the light dimmed in his eyes.
He was withdrawing from me now, and I immediately missed his warmth. I wanted to just fall into it and have him hide me away, but I couldn't.
Not yet.
"Heh, wow. Took him long enough, ne? I'm sure you're both really happy now."
"Well, I don't know about Sasuke, but I hope I find my happy ending…if I even have one that is."
"You hope? You mean you haven't yet?"
"No, not yet."
"But, Sasuke's what you've always wanted…"
"Yes, he was."
His confusion had returned, and I had to smile at his misunderstanding. He didn't quite get it yet, the weight of what I was saying, but even so, I felt even more pressure release from my heart as I spoke.
"But, I said no."
(not the one for me, yeah)
(ooooo, woo-hoo)
He was silent for a moment, blinking hard down at me as if trying to figure out what I must have said, because what he heard was all wrong.
It couldn't have been right, it was a mistake, but he must have held a glimmer of hope for he asked:
"You said no?"
Said no,no, no,no, no, no, no
You're not the one for me
Said no,no, no,no, no, no, no
You're not the one for me
"I said no."
It was becoming easier now, and I was glad. I was already starting to heal, and, as if to confirm that, my heart gave a quick flutter because of the look he was now giving me. There was still a lot of disbelief in his eyes, but the light had returned and for that I could be happy.
"But why Sakura-chan? Why would you turn him down when you…love him?"
The end of his sentence was nothing but a gentle, sad whisper and my heart drooped because I knew I had hurt him. I didn't want him to hurt anymore because of me, so I did the thing I would have wanted done in an instant as this.
I threw my arms around him and held him close, burying my face into his shoulder and gathering his warmth to my heart. He was warm and sunny and I could truly live with a person like him. He was what I needed, and he was what I wanted.
"I said no because he isn't the one I want."
He was trembling slightly now, and that made me hold onto him tighter, as if I was afraid he'd disappear. I felt reassured, however, when his hands snaked around my waist and he held me back just as tightly. His cheek was pressed against the side of my head, his breath blowing a few stray locks of my hair, and when his breath caught slightly I knew he was about to speak again.
"Who is it you want?"
The boy who had waited countless years on me had obviously decided he didn't want to wait any longer.
I felt disgusted with myself for making him wait so long, and I knew I didn't deserve him.
And then I became worried that perhaps he had moved on like I had moved on with Sasuke, and I shuddered reflexively at the thought.
But I had to know, either way, so I pulled away from his embrace and held his hands loosely in my own. And looking up into his beautiful blue eyes I saw something that I never noticed before, or perhaps I just had never looked.
I saw myself in his eyes, and I knew he was still waiting.
For me.
And now he had me.
"You, Naruto. I want…I need you."
I was blushing now as he studied me, and I felt the prickling of tears, but all the while I smiled.
A real smile all for him.
And then he was smiling back, and cupping my cheek with his hand, and I smiled even wider. He drew closer to me, till our noses were almost touching, and his breath danced across my cheek.
"I'm glad I waited."
"Thank you for making me whole again."
And his lips fit perfectly against mine, as if they were two pieces trying to find each other and finally had. From this one action I felt everything within me finally fall into place and I was whole.
His hand was made to rest right there against my cheek, and the other on my waist, as my hands were made to wind around his neck to pull him ever so closer.
My body was made to press against his, and his to press against mine.
And as we whispered our love against each others lips, I knew I had found my happy ending. I had chosen the path opposite of what my mind had always imagined for me, and even my heart had confused me for awhile, but now I knew.
Naruto was, and would always be the one for me, and I for him.
Big black horse and a cherry tree
I can't quite get there cause my heart's forsaken me
Big black horse and a cherry tree
I can't quite get there cause my heart's forsaken me
Thanks for reading! Hope you like and will review!
--Miss Soupy