Inspired by Maelstrom, s 3. I thought about Laura's vision and considered several shows in which the options led to different universes split on the axis of a decision. So this is just a what if, set during The Hub, of Laura's vision as reality.
"I was afraid. I couldn't watch."
-Kara Thrace,
Maelstrom
She didn't really leave because she hated her mother. Yes, Socrata suffered from mental instability, a plethora of phobias from the war, and the soul crushing mystery of her dreams. And it fraked Kara Thrace up five ways to Geminon if she was honest. But she didn't hate her.
There'd been good times too. Caprican summers, that time her mother taught her to paint and created an image of the Valkyrie, on which she'd served, unknowingly, under the man Kara now calls her father (in her heart, not in her words). She wondered a few times if she should give in an introduce them, see if Socrata recalled her XO. She'd been planning to do just that the day she came in, an officer, to speak with her mother.
And thats why, when she realized from the letter, that her mother was dying and they wouldn't have time to at least attempt to patch things up, she was already prepared to run. Her mother's typical behavior was a front, as was the acidic retort she threw back in her face. Socrata would have been mystified and frightened by her lack of a return.
But to tell the truth, it was all a cover, just like their arguments. She wasn't running from her mother because the hurt finally got too much. Gods alive, no. She'd not been harmed in the way of her childhood for years by the time she ran out of her mother's life forever. And Socrata had been somewhat easier to talk to while she was in officer's school.
She ran because she was terrified of death. She didn't know it but she was.
Standing there now, in a hospital ward, she isn't afraid. Shes angry. At the Gods, at fate, at life. This isn't the resentment of her mother's death or the peace of her dream-goodbye. This is Laura Roslin and she is going to die today.
Theres some parallels in the relationship between Kara and Socrata and Starbuck and Laura. Theres the initial joy. Their mission and her mother's love of jokes. Then she lost faith like she lost her innocence. Then they resumed the steady normalcy of home and Galactica. And then Laura's health took a nosedive.
Thats where things changed. She didn't run like back then, didn't shove her away. She helped her walk to the Admiral's quarters, let her join a game of Triad with the others (She would have been a better pilot than president, slipping into crude jokes and smiles like she had been one of them all along), and now she was here by her deathbed, watching her father pretend to be strong for her mother (when did that happen?) and failing miserably.
"K..ar.a.." The raspy quality of her voice startles Kara for a moment, but she moves close to Laura's left side, taking her weakening hand in her own and looking into the eyes that are strong in defiance of everything.
"Hey." She says softly, trying to exude the peace from the dream state before she fell into the maelstrom. Laura feels it, she is sure, because she smiles and squeezes Kara's hand in response.
"Stay with them." Laura whispers to her. Her eyes dart to the two Adama men they both love and back.
"I promise." And she means it. Because she loves Lee and the Old Man and she most definitely loves this woman who sets the latter alight with life.
Laura smiles at her brokenly. She stands and goes to her place beside Lee. After a while, when Laura drifts to sleep, she turns her head and leans of Lee because it fraking hurts too much but she also fears she'd never have the same as the dying woman with her love beside her.
She follows the Old Man three days later, when a call makes him go pale and hastily hand Tigh the deck command. He's so distracted he doesn't notice her on his sprint from CIC to Life Station and she knows this is it.
When she turns the corner into Life Station, the scene before her makes her long to tel Lee that they need to make something work. Because Bill Adama and Laura Roslin look so in love even when the woman is dying today that she knows she wants that sort of love too (Don't children want what they see from their parents?).
He reads to her a bit, then shuts the book and leans forward to kiss her softly on the lips. She smiles into the kiss and it breaks Kara's heart at the same time it fills it with an unimaginable joy (family!mom!dad!family!complete!).
When he speaks, she cries. Because its beautiful and so him and she wants to stop the bleeding pain in his voice (Will daddy be ok? Where's mommy? Will daddy be ok?) and make it better. Trade places. Anything
"You go. You go. You go to your rest now. I'm not gonna be selfish anymore. You go. Rest. "(1) he says tenderly, breaking here in the finals seconds. Laura's eyes move under their lids, but she can't pull herself to open them. She whimpers so softly Kara is surprised she can hear it.
She doesn't even bother to hide her tears and they trickle down her face as she silently sobs. Socrata had no one. Adama will have no one. He kisses Laura one last time and then slips his wedding band on her finger.
"I'm not afraid anymore. Go rest Mama. Go rest."
And she isn't sure it isn't just Laura she's talking to.