Paying back in the same coin
Disclaimer: all characters appearing in this story belong to Marvel.
Loki Laufeyson, the former god of Mischief of that northern Olympus called Asgard, raised his eyes from his book.
Thor Odinson, the god of Thunder, who was his step-brother and also the unfair heir to the throne of Asgard, and who had been playing a fantastic fetch game with his hammer, threw Mjolnir-boomerang on the ground and stared at him.
"Well? What are you looking at?" Loki asked his brother, who seemed to be scanning Loki's cranium with his eyes.
Thor Odinson shrugged and focused once more onto his game.
If there was something Loki couldn't stand, that was being disturbed while he was trying to expand his knowledge, which was for him a reason of great pride and he showed it off every time he had the opportunity. Stupid Thor. Was his brother trying to catch up to his level of intelligence by analysing every single hair on his head? He didn't stand a chance.
Loki had been focusing on his fairy book for a few seconds, when he realized that the retarded brother of his was still studying him as if he were a rare monkey at the zoo.
"Why are you staring at me?"
Thor pointed at a tree a few steps away. "Keep that in mind."
"What should I keep in mind?"
Loki carefully observed the elm tree. There was nothing of particular importance to see nor to keep in mind. The tree had thick, healthy branches and its leaves were of thousand greens, now waving faintly in the breeze. Perched on one of the twigs was a plump magpie. Was Thor a fan of that midgardian bird-watching obscenity?
"Find a better justification, Thor" he said, and concentrated once more on his volume.
A stronger rush of wind ruffled his hair.
Another thing Loki was really proud of was his pitch black hair, which some heedless mortals had dared to call "filthy rat hair" at the time Loki was on Midgard. He had swore he would never allow anyone to insult his hair again.
He ran his hand through it, because he couldn't stand having messy hair, and suddenly took notice of two things.
The first one, a magpie had defecated on his awesome black mane.
The second one, Thor and the guards at the gate were helplessy trying not to burst out laughing, their faces now distorted in grins.
A sole thought crossed Loki Laufeyson's mind: revenge, terrible revenge.
It was the same day at evening, and Loki Laufeyson was trempling like a mad rhino on the precious carpet in his room.
Oh yes, he would keep that in mind, that polecat-colored bastard that had just devoted itself to eternal pain. He would pulverize the guards and all those dumb villagers who had made fun of him as he entered the bathrooms to have a wash. He would pour glue into his brother's shampoo to let him understand how he felt. He would... no. Firstly, he had to find that miserable bird to satisfy his thirst for vengeance. Then, he would find a proper reward for all the other beggars that had dared laugh at him.
As his evil mind was devising such plots, someone knocked at the door.
"Begone" spat Loki.
"I brought you something to eat" said Thor from behind the door.
Glue and flour. That's what he needed. Loki was already looking forward to his brother's screams at the need of having his beautiful blond hair shaved. He glouted over this imagery.
"Loki, are you all right? Why are you crying?" asked Thor, his voice chocked with anguish.
Calling him a retard was a real euthemism.
"Listen up, Loki" he continued. "You're going to lose this battle. How will you catch it? I know you well enough to know you won't be satisfied even if you killed every magpie that dwells in Asgard. What are you up to? Magpies have wings. Are you planning to go living up a tree and wait until that bird will collide with you?!"
His brother had a slow mind, but he had made a right observation. However there was something that he, Loki, hadn't thought of. How come he hadn't thought of that? That was the solution to all his problems, to all his oppressions!
"Thank you Thor, good night Thor!" he suddenly said to his brother.
He couldn't stay calm. All would end well. He needed not to live up a tree as his brainless brother had suggested, he would do more, much more. He had the eternity to his disposal to get known as the asgardian Nightmare. All those idiots that had laughed at him would pay him back in the same coin the magpie had thrown him.
Joy and jubilation, may Midgard and its insignificant human beings be praised!
He jumped onto the bed, his body now inebriated with excitement. His mind began giving birth to ill plans, and this time they were so ill, that if Odin were in the know he would have given his only eye to the Frost Giants in order for them to take back that ungrateful son.
"Heimdall, you must do me a favour."
Loki stopped in front of the Biforst keeper.
"What do you want, Loki? According to your sentence, you're not allowed to leave Asgard for the time being."
That impudent guardian. He would have burned him and all his golden armor if only he could. But that day was a glorious day, a frabjous day, and there was nothing that could flip him out. Mwahahah!
"You just have to teleport something from Midgard for me..."
Thor was resting under the shadow of the accused elm.
It was a beautiful sunny day. There were no magpies and no brother around. He was a bit sorry for what had happened, he should not have laughed. But thinking it over, he was not that sorry. He had enjoyed every second of it. He closed his eyes, wondering to himself what his brother was up to. He hadn't shown up in the entire morning.
How is it... speak of the devil, and he shall appear.
As he was about to doze off, Thor heard the rumour of muffled steps and opened his eyes. A horned figure was towering in front of him.
"What the...?" he mumbled, his vision still blurred.
It was Loki, his face deformed in a naughty grin, his hand holding a bag full of strange colored cans.
"Redbull gives you wings!" he exclaimed.
~fin~
This is the translation of a story I wrote back in July. I did the best I could but I'm sure there are sentences that still sound strange to the ear of a native. Please tell me your opinions about it!
Oh, the ending is so absurd. The main idea for this fanfic was taken from an old Redbull commercial that I'm sure you all know.
Have a great Christmas holiday!