(A/N As much as I wish I did, I do not own any of the Twilight Saga, that all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I don't own Edward either, which sucks because he's fun to write (: Read and review…constructive criticism if you have any please or just compliments! Just review please xD)

Chapter 1 – The End

Her warm, delicate hand reached out towards me and my will just about crumbled to dust. Never before had I had to recruit so much of my self control to do something I did not want to do. Even that fateful day I had met her, when her scent had hit me harder than a lorry would hit a human at one hundred miles per hour, had I had to exert even a fraction of the control that I was using right now. I would have thought resisting the siren call that her blood was to me would have been the hardest thing to over come, but I had been so wrong. This was the hardest thing I had ever had to do in my nearly one hundred and ten years on this Earth. To have to leave her knowing how much I loved her, how hard it would be for me to be apart from her and to have to stay away from her was unbearable and in all honesty I didn't have a clue how to not reach out to her and comfort her, how to turn round and run away from her. And as if to make this whole ordeal worse, I was leaving with her believing that I did not want her anymore, that I did not love her like I had before. I thought it would literally kill me to have to tell such a cruel, unbelievable, ludicrous lie, and I was convinced that I would have to argue with her for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in her mind. But she had believed me so easily! Just one small sentence had completely broken her faith in me, had completely destroyed everything we had had. How could she believe me after all the thousand times I had told her I loved her, had told her that I couldn't live without her? As if such a hideous concept was even imaginable. How could I ever exist where she wasn't? What was there for me without her? I knew the answer to those questions was that I could not, and there was nothing for me without her, nothing but agony. But those beautiful chocolate brown eyes had stared at me, assessing my calm and apparently emotionless expression for a long moment after I had spoken, and I could see it in those bottomless depths that she truly believed the heinous lie I had spoken, she truly believed that I didn't want her to come with me, that I didn't want to be near her anymore. It was blasphemy, blasphemy in its worst and darkest form. And it killed me to learn that she did believe the lie…

The rational part of my mind, the part that had compelled me to leave her in the first place was reminding me that despite how much this hurt me, this was what I had wanted, what I had hoped for and it was of course what I must do. I had to leave her to make it safe for her. Every second I was near her, I was unintentionally and unwillingly leading her into danger by bringing her into the world of vampires where to most she was merely a human whose blood smelled far too sweet for her own good. However, it didn't make it hurt any less to do it. It did not stop the searing agony that was ripping through me right now as my golden gaze fell to her out-stretched hand. I wanted so badly to reach for her, to wrap my marble arms around her and hold her, comfort her, but this would only make it worse for both of us. She needed, deserved, a clean break, the whole thing had already gone on too long. I had known from the start of our relationship that it was wrong to love her, but since I was essentially a selfish being, I had been utterly unable to stop myself. As much as I tried to deny it, she, as a human, was my natural prey and although my family and I may only hunt animals, the fact that I was the predator and she was the prey did not change so of course it was downright sinful for me to covet her the way I had, to covet her as a person and not her enticing blood. But I knew that I couldn't just walk away from her like this so I stepped towards her, and gently grabbed hold of her fragile wrist. As soon as I had made the move, I could see her eyes lighting up a little, like she thought I was reaching for her too, but of course I wasn't. My heart tore out of my chest as I pinned her thin arm back to her side. No pain in the world compared to this! My heart has not beat in ninety years but this was different, it was like I had no heart, like my chest was empty. No not just my chest, it was like I was empty but left with a huge gaping hole which ached. No, ached was not the right word, it wasn't strong enough to describe the ripping agony that rippled through my whole body.

For the last time ever, I stared down into those chocolate eyes which echoed the pain I felt and if possible the throbbing pain in my chest got worse to know that I was not only hurting myself but her as well. It'll be better in the long run, I reminded myself sternly. Well for her at least. As a last act, to leave myself with some sort of pleasant memory of the whole horrific nightmare, I leaned down and pressed my icy lips to her warm forehead for the briefest moment. I inhaled her alluring scent and for once in my life, I was morbidly overjoyed to feel the fiery burn of thirst which assaulted my throat. I would never smell this scent again, would never have her blood sing out to me like this, and that was why I welcomed the burn because it was the last time I would feel like this. Her eyes fluttered closed and I knew that this was my cue, my cue to leave her forever.

"Take care of yourself." I breathed in the softest voice I could manage, though it was in vain since the whisper still sounded strained and betrayed the agony coursing through me at that particular instant.

I knew I would not be able to leave if I really thought about why I was walking away from her in this exact moment, so I buried all my thoughts and focussed on the forest around me, I didn't even spare her another glance which I so longed to do, but seeing that beautiful, perfect face would only make it impossible to do. My body whipped itself round in the smallest fraction of a second and abruptly, I was running full tilt through the forest, knowing that I had left everything behind with her. Pushing those tortuous thoughts of what I had just done to her, to myself, I continued through the trees desperate to reach my home where I would be alone, alone to let this misery take me.

I could hear the sound of her stumbling and tripping in the distance as she tried to follow me and a wave of fresh pain hit me. She was trying to find me, trying to make me stay and this near enough overwhelmed me. I so badly wanted to stay with her, stay in Forks and never have to leave her ever, but I had made her a promise and I couldn't break that. It will be as if I had never existed I had told her just minutes ago and already I was considering breaking it. She was better off without me; she would be safe and happy…eventually.

But, I could not just let her go wandering around in the dark forest alone, she would surely get lost and, knowing Bella, she would trip over something and injure herself. I knew that I had to do something to make sure that she would be okay, that someone would find her when she got so lost that she could not find her way back home, back to her father. However, I knew that if I followed the sound of her clumsy footsteps to find her myself that I would not be able to leave again, so I decided that I would have to go back to her house and leave Charlie an innocent note so that he could find her.

Without a second thought on the subject, and trying to ignore the horrible aching in my chest, I turned on my heel and near enough flew through the trees which separated me from the little house where she stayed, staying well clear of where I could hear her tripping feet. She was quite far away from the house which meant she was in no danger of seeing me, but it also meant that she would be much more difficult to find. I hoped against all hope that they would find her, perhaps I could ask Alice to look to the future to see if she was found or not. Alice wouldn't be happy with that, she was upset enough at having to leave Bella behind, but surely Bella's safety would be her priority too. Guilt suddenly crept up on me as I thought about how I had yelled at Alice the other day, forcing her to see things my way, forcing her to leave without telling Bella goodbye. Bella needed a clean break though, and if she thought that not only I had moved on, but Alice too then she would be forced to get over her ideas of becoming one of us and settle into a normal human life.

I slowed my pace to a normal human walk as I came to the edge of the trees just in case anyone happened to be walking past the Swan residence. My golden gaze flickered automatically to Bella's open window, my usual entrance to the house. Another sharp pain tore through me as I realised that I would never climb through that window again, I would never cuddle up with her while she slept and listen to her constant mumblings where she would tell me she loved me in her slumber. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind, which was far easier said than done, but I had to think straight now and the tearing agony which accompanied those memories didn't quite fit the bill.

As I reached the front door to her home, I reached up into the eaves where I knew the key was. Of course, I could have just climbed in the window as usual but I didn't know if I would be able to handle that…

I took a few deep, calming breaths and stepped into the cosy little house. More memories flooded my mind along with her scent which lingered here. It was such a sweet smell, almost flowery, like freesias; my favourite scent, and yet the one I hated most because it made it difficult for me to be around her. Not that that would be a problem anymore, I thought, a dejected sigh escaping through my cool, glassy lips. My eyes flickered towards the kitchen where I knew there was a pad of paper that Bella and Charlie took note of phone messages for each other. This seemed like a sensible place to write Charlie's note. In four of my blindingly fast, silent strides I was standing in front of the counter where the phone was, the pen in my hand. I knew her hand writing so well, just as I knew her so well so the note was easy to forge.

Going for a walk with Edward, up the path, back soon, B. I scribbled quickly in her messy, scrawl like handwriting, knowing that Charlie wouldn't think twice about whether she had written it herself. I signed her own signature better than she did. And now to the next part of my task…I would have to take back everything I had ever given her, anything that would remind her too much of me, like photos. I had promised her that it would be like I had never been in her life, so that meant no reminders of me or my family.

With a heavy, gloomy sigh, I shrugged away from the counter which I had been unknowingly leaning on, though lightly of course since I would have crushed it if I had put all my weight on it. I didn't really want to have to go into her room, because I knew the second I did that I wouldn't be able to stop the flood of memories overwhelming me. I knew that I would surely break down there and would be utterly inconsolable, but of course, I had to do the job properly.

I trudged miserably up the stairs and into her familiar, messy room. My gaze took in every detail of her room in a second. It was virtually the same as it had been on the night of her birthday when she had slept in my arms. That was three days ago, and I hadn't been in her room since then. I had resisted the urge to trespass on her sleeping thoughts because it would only have made making the right, the moral decision that much harder when I heard her mumbling my name in her slumber.

Although I had been fully aware of what the decision meant, and although I was already feeling empty, aside from the terrible agony in my chest, the fact that I was really going to leave her behind did not dawn on me until this moment. The force of the wave of pain that hit me now was enough to knock the unneeded breath out of my body and knock me onto the floor. I had thought that leaving her there in the forest believing that I no longer cared for her was the worst feeling ever experienced, but that had nothing on this. I couldn't seem to catch my breath, not that I required the air, but it felt wrong to not breathe. In those brief seconds when I was able to catch my breath, I exhaled in loud, ripping sobs. Even though I had been a vampire for ninety years and I knew that I would never produce tears, it somehow still managed to unbalance me that desolate tears weren't gushing down my icy cheeks. I was inconsolable in that moment and for once in my pathetic existence, I was glad I was alone. Alice was hundreds of miles away in Alaska with Jasper, and although I knew she would be able to see my grief in her uncannily accurate visions of the future, she was too far away to come and attempt to comfort me. But her comforting would do nothing because she would only try and tell me that what I was doing was wrong, and my suffering showed this oh too well. So I lay there on her floor, letting the sheer pain wash through me.

***

I don't know how long I lay there curled up on the floor, letting the misery take over me, but I noticed suddenly that they sky outside was darkening. Night was coming, which meant Charlie would be back very soon. I had to do what I came here to do before he returned. I don't think he would appreciate coming home to find his daughter gone and to find me curled up in the foetal position on her wooden floor. I forced my breath to come back to normal, pushed all thoughts and memories aside and the pain was momentarily replaced by a soothing numbness. I felt nothing, and I welcomed this. Anything was better than that uncontrollable agony. I rose shakily to my feet which was near enough unheard for a vampire; we were naturally graceful and were always able to move with such athleticism. It felt strange to be so unstable; it caught me rather off guard. I gulped in one more breath as my eyes flickered around the room to find the things I was looking for. My golden eyes fell upon the scrap book Renee had given Bella for her birthday and I knew that the pictures she had taken of me would be in there. It took me one measly stride to reach it. I bent down and scooped it up, flicking the cover over to reveal the first picture there. It was me, the day of her birthday, sitting in her kitchen clearly amused by her as I usually was. It was hard to believe that just three days ago I had been the happiest person on this forsaken planet. That was of course until my own brother attempted to kill my love. I gulped silently and snatched out the picture, unable to look at myself and remember how amazing I had felt that day.

It didn't take me long to go through the book and discard any pictures that I was in, refusing to acknowledge the obvious differences between myself in the first picture to all the ones proceeding it and ignoring how awkward Bella and I had looked together in the picture Charlie had insisted on taking of us. I then carefully placed the book back on the floor, the photos in my hand; before I turned to the stereo where I knew the CD I had made her with all my compositions on it would still be. And sure enough there it was, still inside the hi-fi, where I had put it so she could listen to it that night. I felt horrible for taking this away from her because this was the only gift she had ever accepted from me. But hearing her lullaby along with various other songs I had composed would do nothing but break her heart all over again. So reluctantly, I reached into the CD player and extracted the CD and piled that on top of the pictures in my other hand. Just one more thing left to get. The tickets that Esme and Carlisle had bought for her to go and visit her mother in Jacksonville, but of course they had bought me one too, so that was another unnecessary reminder that I had to get rid of. The box was luckily sitting on her bedside table where she had left it after she opened it, so I siezed it mechanically.

My mind was currently in a furious battle; my selfishness versus what was right. I so badly wanted to leave these things with her, just so she would remember me. Although I knew she had to forget me, I just couldn't bear knowing that she no longer thought of me. But she needed rid of everything to do with me so she could move on with her life, be normal, forget about the monsters that no doubt haunted her every thought. However, I countered in my own mind, would it be so wrong if I hid these things somewhere where she probably wouldn't find them for years? By the time she found them, she would no doubt have gotten over me…

I didn't need any more convincing than that. I fell to my knees again and ducked under her bed, easily pulling up one of the floor boards. I felt no resistance whatsoever; my strength was much greater than that of a meagre nail. I carefully stowed all of the pictures, the CD and the little box with the voucher for flights in the small space and replaced the wood, though now of course it was loose. If she ever moved her bed then she would see it…

I sighed lightly once more, convinced now that I had done the best I could do and I turned for the open window, tensed my muscles as my back arched into a low crouch and I leapt lithely out of it, landing without a jolt on the ground outside, like a cat. Without a backward glance at the house so the memories would not force themselves into the forefront of my mind and pull me back under into my deep depression. I was glad now that I had come back, because I noticed for the first time that I had left my car sitting outside her house. Clearly I was paying no attention when I had arrived at her house, and obviously in the forest, I had been too absorbed in my own grief to remember how I had got to her house in the first place after school. I was glad that I didn't have to return to the huge white mansion house buried deep in the forest where my family and I had lived until a few days ago. I was in no mood to take another painful trip down memory lane.

As I walked round to the driver's side of my silver Volvo, I ranged my hearing out to see if I could hear her stumbling through the forest still. I could just make out the faint sound of her clumsy steps miles out. She was deep in the forest now and I started to panic that she wouldn't be found for days, or worse never found at all. No of course she would be found, even if that meant that I had to get Alice to go and get her…

I shook my head, dispelling the panic and the morbid thoughts as I pulled open the door and stepped into the car. I had to believe she would be okay, and I knew that she would be one day. She was the most kind, caring, perfect person I had ever met so she was sure to find someone who could love her as much as she deserved. I knew that I would always love her, even if I never saw her again and even if she didn't love me any more.

My eyes focussed on the road as I turned the keys in the ignition, hearing the familiar, soothing purr of the engine. I shoved it into drive, backed out of her driveway and then I was gone…